Slumbering Mountains
by mihoyonagi
Summary: Free will is but an illusion to him, an ideal that taunts him endlessly and eats away at his sanity. But a single flower, blooming despite the darkness, may just be enough to pull him from the brink of ruin, even if he plucked it for the wrong reasons.
1. Dormant Flower

Obligatory disclaimer : I hereby state that I, mihoyonagi, do not own any part of Final Fantasy VII and acknowledge all characters and plot as part of the actual game belong to solely to its creators. I do not make any gain for the writing of this story, fiscal or otherwise, and do not intend to at any time, present or future. The plot for this piece, however, is entirely of my own devising, and as such is sole property of me. Enjoy.

Slumbering Mountains, Chapter One: Dormant Flower

I am a tool. I am used for nothing good, and so nothing good can be said of me.

I am a shell. I am a soulless husk, devoid of all meaning save mere existence.

I've lost control.

The blood that caked my clothing, that had spattered across my face in droplets like so much rain, had dried. It would flake off onto my sheets and cover the soft white linens, and I would have to wash them again, but I couldn't find it within myself to care. I needed to shower. I needed to report back.

No, what I needed was freedom.

Ah, but I was worse than a slave; no will, not even a soul to call my own. I belonged entirely to him.

It was hours before I bade myself to move. With every movement, my body strained against my mind, a fight that left the entirety of me broken and restless, wrought with anxiety. It would be so simple to just lie there, unmoving, until I was called again. And yet, after I'd been properly punished for not attending myself, I would be forced to shower under the emergency chemical baths in the lab. It was hard to motivate myself, but a shower based on my own wanting versus one later in the lab was as close to control as I was given. I could not chose the why, but sometimes I was graced with the ability to choose when and how.

I was held in captivity, with little else than my thoughts for company.

I shed my coat, my heavy pauldrons pulling the garment down. The leather hit the tile floor with a heavy, weighted sound, dried flakes of blood fluttering about after it. I ran the shower with the hottest water I could stand.

Killing had once been a way of life. Now it was nearly my entire existence. Those who I slain now were not armed soldiers, nor did they have any potential to physically harm me. No, I shed the blood of politicians and ex-spies, of political activists and the leaders of peaceful demonstrations.

Once I had been called a killer. Now, the title of murderer was better fitting, I think. There was no ulterior motive behind these deaths other than petty feuds and power changing hands. I was given a name, a place, and I either killed or was punished.

Perhaps punishment wouldn't be so terrible if I could die from it. But, no, he'd made sure that the pain brought me nearly to the threshold between life and death before I was left convulsing and paralyzed, aching for hours or even days afterward.

I don't know for how long I showered. I don't keep clocks in my dwelling, and there is no chance for light to penetrate so far underground. But by the time I had finished scrubbing the blood from under my fingernails, from out of my shock of white hair, the faucet was running piss-warm, indicating that it had easily been more than an hour or two. My fingers and toes had shriveled from the moisture.

I scrubbed my neck last, as I've come to so often do. I hesitated to touch the metal ring around my neck, the devious device that caged me. How could one simple ring turn me to a life of servitude?

It began to vibrate. I cursed aloud, a vile strand of words that would make even the saltiest of sailors blush. I had two minutes to get to the lab before I would be punished. I shut off the shower and yanked too hard on the curtain as I stepped out, ripping several of the rings clear off. I dressed in little more than slacks and a plain shirt, then phased out of my apartment and down the hall from the labs. There were many things I attempted to keep secret from those in white coats, and my phasing was one I guarded closely. Of course, all that would need to be said for me to spill all of my secrets was hardly a few words. If, however, I was not asked, not commanded, I would not reveal any information.

The heavy door slid open with a grinding swoop, screaming its want to be oiled properly.

"You nearly did not make it again, Number One."

"I was showering when-"

"I did not ask for an excuse. Arrive on time, or be punished. Those are your options."

I would have loved to spit something terse in reply, but I've learned the hard way, more times than could be considered intelligent, that a sharp tongue is rewarded in the same way failing to comply to an order is; through excruciating pain delivered by the collar, leaving me nauseous, and mewling on the floor like some helpless thing afterward.

Hojo drew blood from my arm, scribbling shorthand on a stack of notes when he had finished. "I trust you were successful?" Though he phrased it as a question, it was little more than a statement.

"I was commanded to stay until he was dead, with no witnesses remaining. I would not have been able to return otherwise." It was as close to backtalk as I could manage.

He studied me from over the top of his glasses, several strands of greasy hair falling over his face. "You are lacking proper amounts of iron. I will have my assistant bring you more food tomorrow."

"I want steak, red meat," I tried.

"You will get what I see fit to give you." And, because he held the ultimate power over me, I would get exactly what he deemed appropriate. But there was no venom in his voice- he was simply stating facts. I could ask, plead, until I turned blue in the face, and he would still only grant me what he felt I needed. However, I felt that since I could offer no sharp wit directed at him when we conversed, I would ask and see what came of it. After all, it never hurt to ask. There was one occasion where I'd requested a specific kind of citrus fruit and, luckily, had been awarded with one, though I remain sure it was purely coincidence.

After he was done with the blood sample, he turned his attention to one of his computer screens. The collar around my neck was not only meant for making sure I stayed obedient; it also provided Hojo with a glimpse at my heart rate and blood pressure. Though, and I thanked the stars, it held no tracking device. After explaining to me exactly what the collar did, I had asked him if there was one embedded in it. He gave me a slightly stricken look, then scoffed as if I had asked him a profoundly stupid question. "Of course not," he responded. "The moment you step out of the frequency the device here in the lab emits, you'll be punished just as if you had disobeyed me. The only reason you're able to leave when I give you orders is because I turn off the smaller proximity emitter and allow you to leave. And before you even get the idea to disobey an order outside of the lab, understand that the only thing this emitter does is make sure you can't wander too far away from the labs; it, in no way, controls the collar, only how far you're allowed to go with it."

So, in short, damned if I do, damned if I don't.

He jabbed a finger at my collar, bringing me back to the present. His bony finger glided over the mastered manipulate materia that was embedded within it, the key component to the device. He smiled at it, as if proud of the creation around my neck, all the while completely ignoring me.

There was no way out for me.

"Your next mission will be soon. Be ready."

As if I had anywhere to be.

He left, and I was alone in the lab with one of his little cronies, what he called his assistants, who I liked to, in the privacy of my own mind, call his ass-kissing, brown-nosing willing slaves. They followed him like lovesick dogs, starved for attention. What they would never come to understand is that Hojo was incapable of caring for another living being. Once upon a time, before I'd been brought forth into this ugly world, perhaps Hojo had been human. Thinking of him as kind doesn't fit, by any stretch of the imagination, so when I say that perhaps he had once been human I mean that maybe his level of sanity wasn't always questionable. But these poor fools, his lackeys that held on to his every word, hoping for even a drop of praise, would never come to know it. Hojo took pride in only what he made, only which that was perfect.

Needless to say that I was never praised. He was all I knew, before and, now, after death, and again in life once more. He played God far better than I was able to. How he pulled my soul back from the lifestream I will never come to know. I asked him, and he smiled and shook his head. He told me that none would ever know, for after he brought me back he had destroyed all of his notes regarding my resurrection. This, of course, was only to prevent others from bringing people back from the beyond; Hojo had a remarkable memory, and there was little doubt in me that he wasn't fully capable of bringing back armies from the grave just based on what he had stored away in that insane mind of his.

Yet no matter how much I ignored them, his so-called assistants glared daggers into me as soon as Hojo was gone or, in some of the more brave ones, when he wasn't looking. None of them could match my stare for long; the things I could do to them with just my mind would likely have them pissing their pants to simply ponder, but, as Hojo often does, I was commanded never to harm them. And so when they shot their hateful looks at me I remained passive, simply staring back at them. I was never the first to break eye-contact, but such little victories were meaningless in the long run. They would do it again tomorrow, or the day after, and I would simply stare back. It was an unending cycle with no winner, merely players.

They all fought for Hojo's attention, while I would kill to get away from it.

I exited the lab, carefully walking down unknown hallways and around as many corners as I could. When I was sure none had followed me, I phased back into my apartment, the only place I had anything that remotely resembled freedom.

Shinra knew nothing of my rebirth. I'm sure I would be killed if they did. After all, I'd tried to destroy the world; what use would they have for a murderous tyrant with God-like ambitions? Everything Hojo did with and to me was a secret, shared only by those actually permitted in his labs, his feeble-minded lap-dogs. The lab was stationed far under the Shinra HQ; it had once been living quarters for Shinra employees who didn't wish to live in the actual city of Midgar. Small families that couldn't afford their own living space, or bachelors who had joined with the ambition of high management. Some of them were even for the Soldier high-ranking, though I'd never given it much thought when I had been part of the company. Hojo told me that, once Meteor had been destroyed by the Lifestream, people demanded a change. It was slow, and took several years. As far as I can tell, it was roughly three years since my death that I had been brought back, but I was quickly losing track of the days as they wasted away into weeks and months. No one ventures into the underground, Hojo said. The main building above ground had been partially destroyed by Weapon, and, instead of building it back to it's former glory, Rufus fixed what he could and set his attention to making sure he didn't have a city-wide revolt on his hands. Other than that, there was little to nothing I knew of what was going on, or what had truly happened, since I had been killed.

I phased back into my apartment. It was mine by title only; nothing in it, aside from a few articles of clothing, truly belonged to me. So long as I was in the compound, Hojo didn't care much for where I actually went when he wasn't around. I'd searched hallway after hallway of the abandoned complex, glad that I could still see quite well in the dark, and came to a place I wouldn't mind calling my safe place. The few comforts, like nicer bedding, had been salvaged from other apartments. Everything was in decent condition; no pests could thrive in concrete. The air purifiers still worked, so there was little dust or contaminants in the air. I asked how Hojo could hide so well, considering we were using power and water from the complex above, and I was informed that only the top five floors of the compound were functional as living quarters any longer, but that the building was wired so that all floors were still supplied. I was assured that what little power and water was used by any of us so far underground went largely unnoticed.

It still seemed like too large of a risk for Hojo to take, and so I came to the conclusion that he was likely paying several people off, and, if the cash flow wasn't generous enough, the threat of becoming one of Hojo's lab rats would still lips. Corruption, no matter how refined Rufus wanted Shinra to appear, would still run deep within the company.

I'm not sure how Hojo managed to keep his position, or if he was hired back after the Meteor fiasco. When I asked, he told me to mind what came from my mouth, lest my words displeased him. From which, in sort, I could deduce that he was on a very short leash, with a very diminished paycheck. It was pleasing to anger him, though I learned how far to push before relenting. He was weak and feeble in body, but with just a few words he could have me sprawled out on the floor, writhing in agony. I did not remark about how possibly tiny his paycheck was after the first. Honestly, however, I sometimes feel it had been worth the punishment.

My blood-soaked clothes were right where I had left them, on the floor in my bathroom. I picked them up and dumped them into the bathtub. Washing leather was such a chore. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to wear anything less than my old Soldier uniform when I was commanded to kill. There was no rational reason behind why I wore it; it was merely a compulsion. That, however, only served to infuriate me, as I prefer reason to mere feeling.

I blotted the blood from my trench-coat with a damp, clean cloth, and laid it to dry hanging off the side of the tub. I bundled up the rest and threw it all, along with my sheets, into the washing machine. Part of the reason I had made this particular apartment mine was because of the washer and dryer, not to mention the large tub in the bathroom. It had a huge main area as well, with two large, leather couches. It lacked a TV, though I would not have watched it even if there was one. I, instead, spent my time reading books.

There is something magical about books. They provide you with a world in which to escape from your own, and are completely portable. It's a far cry from the bullshit that the televisions are known to spit, and I'm glad that I lack one. I'd seen a few left in the other apartments, but couldn't bring myself to procure one for my own usage. Something inside me didn't want to know what was happening in the outside world. Perhaps it was the fear that it would only make me pine for freedom that much more.

Most of the apartments had been abandoned in the same manner as my own; as if the people living in them had simply disappeared. I had little trouble finding books because of this, though it did feel awkward to rifle through belongings that were not mine. Anything of value had been taken, like jewelry and fine china of course, but rooms filled with the dreams of children - little plastic, glow in the dark stars stuck to the purple paint, wall to wall of forgotten stuffed bears and bunnies, crayon drawings of dragons and princesses - had been left behind, never again to be the safe places, well guarded against monsters.

I found that I sometimes truly wished to know why these apartments had been abandoned with what seemed a frantic haste. Thanks to the communal kitchens, most of the independent apartments themselves lacked food storage which saved my nose from the assault of putrid, rotting goods. I was able to pilfer some dried goods for my own storage - beans and rice, tea and honey - and although I was more than pleased to have something completely secret, something only I knew of, especially food, I still felt strange taking it. Even though none would use it, and no one would come back to get it, I felt odd taking something that was not mine.

I decided on a lentil soup for sustenance. I liked soup; it was easy to make, easy on my stomach, and re-heated well. I was lucky enough that my apartment had an in-suite kitchen. I would guess that my particular dwelling had been reserved for some of the higher-paid, well-off of the Shinra elite. I had to, when I'd first come upon it, wage war against the myriad of mold that had taken over the fridge, but there is little that lives thought a good washing with bleach, and fridge rot was no exception.

While I had a nice kitchen, and an equally nice bathroom, I wished for a view. I would sell my soul for a window. Though, to be fair, I'm not completely sure I still had one or, if I did, that I could claim any ownership to it.

My soup was nearly finished when my collar went off. Sighing, I dried my hands, turned off the stove, and phased an uncountable number of floors above to an empty hallway near the lab. When I entered, Hojo was pacing, his greasy brow wet with perspiration. He handed me a photo attached to a manila file folder.

"This man is Gregor Kinsly."

I met Hojo's stare, knowing what would come next.

"The following are commands: You will kill Gregor Kinsly. You will be seen by no other human being and, if you are, you will end them. You will attempt to complete your task by the weeks end, and will do everything in your power to ensure it is finished. If, for whatever reason you are unable to complete your task, you will promptly return here to face the consequences. You will not try to escape or evade your duties."

I suddenly felt sick, like a wave of the flu had washed over me, but I had nothing in my stomach that could come up, and so I held down my gags. Such was always the case when I was issued a new order. Hojo admitted that he was not completely sure as to what was happening to me when he issued orders. The sickness was a minor side effect to him, one that did not put me in any immediate or eventual danger, and so it was regarded simply as a side-effect of the collar's power. Perhaps it might have been the materia working its magics on me - remember that it was mastered, and quite strong - or perhaps it was my will being crushed. Whatever the case, the sickness left me after a moment, and once I regained my composure I looked up in time to watch Hojo as he left the lab. Behind him scuttled one of his assistants, who turned, glared at me, and left a cardboard box on the counter near the door.

I took the food left to me and, making sure I was alone, phased back into my home. I sorted out the goods, putting away anything that needed to be kept cool or frozen, and left the rest to do when I came back. I fetched my clothing from the bathroom, donned it, and phased to the roof of the building, careful to keep myself invisible. I cursed what powers I had kept. If I'd been brought back to life as a useless thing, I would have been put out of my misery long ago. Instead, I was useful as an assassin, and because of the collar I had little other choice.

Gregor took residence in Kalm. The trip was short, but the poor weather made it drag on forever. The cold of winter was upon the Eastern Continent, and the ground was covered in a thick layer of frost. Whatever animals that normally populated the plains during the warmer months had long ago fled to their dens, and, fat from nearly three seasons of gorging, were resting peacefully in the deep sleep of hibernation. The wolves might still be active at times, but food during winter was scarce for all across the plains.

I kept to the shadows after I landed and became visible again, knowing that if I was seen there would be hell to pay. Staying invisible strained me but if I could manage it, I tried my hardest to make sure that no others died when I was on assignment. If it could be helped, I made sure it was. Better the life of one than the live of many. A migraine because I stayed out of sight for too long was better than taking another innocent life.

A killer with a conscience. Who would have guessed?

Not many, though, to be fair, I had once razed an entire town in frustration, anger, and a profound feeling of abandonment.

But people change, and no matter how I think of myself, no matter how others may come to label me as a monster and a murderer, I was still human.

His house was empty. I unlocked the door with hardly a second thought - I'd been able to do such nearly all my life, and only thought it strange when I had done so in front of another soldier and they had been so surprised they had nearly given away our position - and carefully shut it behind me afterward. I clicked the lock back in place, not wanting to strain my mind if I could help it. I would need all of my strength to stay out of sight when my target returned home.

The file I'd been given mentioned that this particular night was a rather prolific sports game of sorts, and that Gregor would, like everyone else in the town, be at the local pub, as he was not only a sponsor to the team, but had a son on it as well. I hoped Gregor's team won so that the poor bastard had at least one decent thing happen to him on his last day on the planet.

He returned late into the night, nearly dawn, drunk and stumbling and singing some kind of anthem for his team. I watched him from the confines of the broom closet - a most undignified hiding place, I am aware - as he, in his sloshed state of mind, puked into his kitchen sink and then staggered toward his bathroom. After a few moments, moments filled with the sound of his puking, I heard the shower turn on. Another few moments passed before the curtains opened and closed, and a more still before I emerged from the closet.

He was singing a new song about his beloved team when I slowly pushed the door to the bathroom open. I crept across the bathroom floor, silent as the moon, and drew not Masamune but a simple hunting knife from the holster on my leg. I would try to not let him see me. I hated it when they looked into my eyes as they died. It was slowly tearing away at my sanity, which is quite a feat considering that I'm not right in the head to begin with.

I would not be granted any kind of leeway tonight, however. As soon as I was nearly close enough to finish the job, the damned fool turned off the shower and cranked back the curtains. He leaped back in surprise, shouting and nearly falling against the tile of his shower stall.

A feeling rose in my gut - the urge to vomit, most likely - as I reached toward him. There was little struggle, and even though I am far more powerful than a normal man I'm sure that his drunken state didn't help his predicament. I twisted him in my grip, placed the knife to his throat, and finished the job. He fell, his body making a wet, meaty sound as it hit the porcelain.

Blood was everywhere.

I stared at his lifeless body for a moment, trying to catch my breath. My hands were shaking. What had once been a normal thing for me to partake in during combat in my previous life was now something I had come to abhor and regret. I am a killer, but with no way to repent. The only thing I can do is kill.

Eons passed, or perhaps it was only hours, or even minutes, before my heart returned to a normal beat. I washed my hands off in the sink, knowing full well that no one would ever be able to pin me to the crime. When I left his house, my hands smelled of his soap and blood.

I took my time returning. I didn't fly, as I easily could have, but instead took to walking at least part of the distance back to Midgar. The icy wind didn't penetrate my leather armor, but lacking a hat and proper chest coverings didn't help me stay warm. Still, I was returning, as I had been commanded to, and I was well within the time-frame I had been given. It was a little freedom, and I would take it.

Once I made it within sight of the city, I took to the sky and became invisible again. Back in my apartment, I sat in the dark, unmoving, for hours. I'd have to wipe the couch free of dried blood when I finally removed myself from my hunched position, but, considering the weight on my shoulders, having a pristine living space was not really at the top of my immediate priority list. No one else but me would ever see it, so what did it matter?

I stood, realizing that letting myself fall victim to the raging, drowning whirlpool that is self pity would not help me. Depression already had me in its grip, but I refused to lose myself completely. I was a tool, but I would not become a doll. Taking a clean washcloth from the bathroom and wetting it from the tap, I wiped clean the couch. Only, of course, after removing my garments and cleaning those first. I tossed out the forgotten soup on the stove and started fresh, mincing an onion so small that the pieces would dissolve in the broth. I wanted bacon to flavor, but what meat I was allowed was mostly fish, which was high in protein and, given the variety of fish, very low in fat. But I lacked butter and lemon, and didn't have many spices to liven up the dish, so I ate it mostly when I had nothing else to eat.

After I was satisfied with what was in the pot, I placed the lid on top and began to clean the kitchen. I needed to busy my hands, and there was little else to do, so I made sure to take my time with every task. I took the garbage out the front door and, although the hallway was pitch-black, the garbage incineration chute was right across the way and I knew exactly where it was, even if I couldn't see in the dark. Apparently, the chute still functioned for the rest of the building, which suited me just fine. It meant that I didn't have to deal with a garbage problem, though Hojo made sure to command me not to throw too much away at once, lest an increase in garbage production raises a few eyebrows up above. Though, I'm sure he could easily take care of such a matter. I wondered how many bodies he'd pushed down the chutes, cut up and placed in black garbage bags all over the compound, or if he just kept them in a freezer somewhere for future testing. I couldn't decide what idea sounded worse, so I pushed it from my mind.

My apartment didn't have clocks. I used to rather like them, their constant tick-tick-tick that, on some levels, could even be called hypnotic. If I could not see the sun, however, I did not want to bother with clocks. Unless Hojo called me, I made my own schedule; I ate when I was hungry, and slept when I was tired, cooked and cleaned and read during the time between.

Ah, speak of the devil; he was calling me right down to hell, or up, as it were in my case. I was sure to place the pot of soup in the fridge so that it would not spoil if I again needed to leave. By the time I entered the lab, Hojo was looking most pleased with himself. He flashed me a newspaper, the headline catching my eye. "Prominent Political Activist Killed in his own Home." The vision of Gregor's corpse flashed before me, though I hid my disgust behind my always stoic mask.

"It's been a good week." He flashed a smile at me.

I remained impassive, not caring to know why else he seemed so excited.

Hojo, however, has a gigantic ego, and I knew he would tell me without my asking. "Come, come. None of my assistants can appreciate her the way I'm sure _you_ can."

Fighting the urge to sigh and roll my eyes, I followed him through one of the many doors in his lab. The hallway that we walked down was one of the first hallways I remember seeing after he'd brought me back. I'd been weak, unable to walk and talk, for the better part of an entire week. I'd remember being both deaf and blind, as well. I could hear muffled sounds that I knew were voices, but I could not make out distinct words. If at all possible, it was a harder time than what I was currently going through. At least at this stage I could understand, could move, could feed myself.

"The following is a command," Hojo said over his shoulder as he entered a numeric code on the door pad. "You will not hurt her."

I should have known. Only one other thing on the planet could make Hojo so giddy, only one other being on the planet who had escaped his clutches.

Floating in a tank in front of me was Cloud's insufferable Cetra girl. Had Hojo not commanded me not to harm her, I was sure I would have unsheathed Masamune and gutted her right then and there.

Everything was her fault. _Everything. _She was the reason I was not reborn as a God. She was the reason I had an obedience collar around my neck. She was the reason this planet and all of its pathetic inhabitants were still functional. She was the reason I was a slave.

Hojo read such in me. He didn't bother hiding his smile. "She's weaker than you, by far, so it will take much longer for her to become functional again. I'll have to keep her on mako shots for a few weeks, too, after she's done in the tank. Perhaps months, depending on how well she can heal. Ah, but when she does wake up..."

I tuned him out. I completely turned everything off. All I could feel was the blind hatred that welled up in me, that spilled over and threatened to ruin me. Hojo led me from the holding tank area to what was as close to a gym as I would get. His assistants were still setting up some of the bigger machines - it was rather difficult to bring giant weight machines down a dozen floors without anyone noticing you - and set me to run. I don't know how long I ran for. I didn't care. When Hojo finally commanded me to stop - yes, he had to finally command me - my legs were burning and my throat was so raw I hard trouble breathing.

"Get some rest," Hojo suggested as he left me on the lab floor, breathing hard and sweating through every pore on my body. I leaned up against the treadmill, blotting myself with a towel. Eventually, without standing, I phased down to my own home. I showered as my soup re-heated, and ate when I was clean. I felt not only tired, but drained. I had put all of my emotions, all of the ones that I'd bottled up for long, into that run, and it was all because of her.

But, no matter how I hated her, I knew what would happen to her. Hojo would, once she was out of that damned tank, put a collar around her neck, too. And not even the Devil himself knew what Hojo would do to with her. If what he'd done to me was any indication...

But there was nothing I could do. It was out of my hands.

I slept. I slept like I had never slept a night in my life. I woke up, groggy and frustrated, and took a piss just so I could get out of bed. My dreams were far from restful; she floated in no-space in front of me, the scent of flowers filling my mind until, when I woke I was convinced I could still smell them. I was roused only when the collar summoned me.

Hojo had called me, but left as soon as I got through the door. "Food," he said as he motioned to the counter. He turned off the light as he left.

I don't know why I walked down the hall. I can't honestly fathom a decent, let alone coherent, reason as to why I felt compelled to phase through the damn door and stare at the tank she floated in. Perhaps it was because there were no cameras, or more than likely because I was seriously ill in the head, but whatever the reason, as I stood in front of her tank-cage, I knew that I couldn't leave her. No matter how I hated her, I would wish my fate on no one else. The torment Hojo issued me was worse than the fires of hell. I would know, I was dead once before.

It was not because I owed her. I didn't. She stole from me just as much as I stole from her, I'm sure one could argue. And I would never stoop so low as to ask her to forgive me. She had been in my way, and I had, by taking her life, removed an obstacle in my path, no more and no less.

I swallowed, hard. I knew Hojo would catch me. There was no way I could hide her properly, make sure that he never again got his hands on her.

But trying and being punished was better than doing nothing. Plus, I wanted to see Hojo mad. It pleased me to no end to see him frustrated. It would be worth it.

So, taking a deep breath, I partially phased my hand and reached through the tank. As soon as I wrapped my fingers around her thin wrist, I pulled her free.

She was so light she almost seemed weightless. She was completely limp in my grasp, and it took careful maneuvering to make sure I could carry her without the possibility of harming her. Hojo had, after all, commanded me not to hurt her.

I fought down a smug sense of satisfaction. How ironic it was that he'd commanded me not to hurt her, and here I was setting her free from harms way. Well, at least until he found her again.

I cradled her against me very carefully, and reached out with what free motion my left arm could manage and pulled from the counter a box of Mako injections. Something at the back of my mind had reminded me that Hojo had mentioned she would need shots. I remembered, though vaguely, the very last of my own shots after my rebirth. There were little memories I had of that time, but for some reason I'd always welcomed the injections. I remember warmth, but past that nothing much.

Just to be safe, just to calm my already shaken nerves, I became invisible. Balancing the box of injections in one hand, I took the box of food I'd been left and phased down to my apartment.

I hadn't realized how sticky she was, how naked she was, until I had to put her down. I hadn't the slightest idea as to what she'd been floating around in, but I wasn't keen on cleaning it off my couch. I placed the injections and the food in the kitchen, knowing whatever things that needed to stay cold would be fine for a time. I took her to the bathroom, placed her limp body in the tub, and set to work. I maneuvered her into a sitting position, picked up the removable shower head, and took every precaution I could to make sure I was as gentle as I could possibly manage.

She was pale, though I wasn't sure if it was because she was naturally light-skinned or because of her rebirth. Her cheeks had a pink hue to them, however, so I assumed that she was in good enough health.

Her hair was nearly as long as mine, and the color of walnuts and maple leaves in the autumn. It was wavy, though not quite curled, and I found it interested me as I washed it carefully; it was so very unlike my own.

When I was pleased with her level of cleanliness, I picked her back up and wrapped her in a towel, being gentle as I patted her skin dry. Her hair would take a long time to dry and so, with her face pressed against me, I wound up her hair as best I could. It would be easier to keep it out of the way for now.

I put her in my bed, mostly because I didn't think she would do well on the couch. The bed was soft and warm, with sheets I'd lain out hardly a few hours before. I stared at her for a long while, watching her breath, before I decided it might be good to dress her, else she wake up in more of a panic than I had a feeling she would. I pulled a random shirt from my closet - a pure white, boring thing - and pulled it over her. I felt like a grown man dressing a doll. Her nakedness didn't bother me, but there was still something about the entire situation that made me uneasy. My shirt was like a nightdress on her tiny frame.

Knowing how her eyes would hurt, I ripped strips from a shirt from the back of the closet and wound them around the upper portion of her head. It would help keep the hair from her face when she slept, as well, though I made sure that it wasn't too tight.

I wondered how long I would need to wait before she would require her first mako injection. I couldn't remember if there had been any indication when I'd needed mine - all I could recall was the rushing, warm feeling of refined Lifestream - and so I decided, at least for now, to wait.

When there was nothing else I could do for her, I went to the kitchen and set about putting away my food. Hojo gave me only what he saw fit, but he always made sure to give me more than enough of what I needed.

I took a book off my shelf and sat down, content to simply be for a while. I didn't know what would happen - what Hojo would do to me when he found out I freed her - but dwelling on it, worrying over it, would accomplish nothing. I had saved the little flower girl from torture, at least for a time.

It occurred to me that I didn't know her name. I had plagued Cloud with dreams of her death to mock him, but I didn't even know what she was called. Ah, but I'm more than sure she would know my name. I wondered how she would take that, being made to understand that she'd been saved by the very person who had stolen her life in the first place. I'd wax poetic about irony, but I was too caught up in thought.

I had finished an entire book before I felt hungry again. I ate more of the soup, but left enough in the pot so that, if she woke and was hungry, she would have something easy to put in her stomach.

I was twenty pages into a new book when I heard her. She mewled like a kitten, lost and afraid, and at first I didn't realize that it had been her in the first place. I stood, felt slightly panicked over the idea of actually confronting her, but pushed it aside as I made my way to the bedroom.

She was twisted in the sheets, breathing heavy and hard, dry heaving and crying.

Pathetic.

How had something so weak bested me?

She turned her head to me when I entered the room, and, for a moment, it unnerved me. She hadn't heard me - my footfalls only make sound when I let them. She had sensed me. Suddenly, she turned away from me, her skinny little arms flailing as she tried to skirt away from the door.

"Please, no," she gasped. "Please, don't hurt me. No more. I'll be good. Please."

My shoulders sank. Hojo had already worked his deranged magic on her. So much for saving her. Still, I could offer her a little solace.

Upon closer inspection, I noticed that she was shivering. I highly doubted it was from the temperature in the room, but I snatched another blanket from the hallways closet and slowly made my way into the room.

"I've no wish to hurt you," I tried to make my voice low and reassuring, even though I doubted she could hear me.

Her legs moved oddly under the covers, and I had a feeling that she'd been suspended in the tank for far too long. They had most likely atrophied to some extent. I thought back to my Soldier training, knowing that, if needed, I could easily give her the same care as a physical therapist. I hoped, however, that it wouldn't come to that.

I don't think she could understand my words, but the low tone of my voice made her stop and turn back to me. "You're not... You're not Hojo..."

She spoke as if she wasn't completely sure, as if she were asking me. "That's right," I replied, knowing that she couldn't hear me anyway. I kept my voice calm. She could, at least, hear the calming inflection in my tone.

"Please don't... Please don't hurt me." There were big, wet stains behind her makeshift blind-fold. I carefully crept toward her, keeping my footsteps measured and, just for her sake, noticeable. I snaked an arm around her as I helped her sit up, then wrapped the blanket around her thin frame. "No one is here to hurt you." I've done enough hurting. I wasn't making amends, I was just sick of causing nothing but pain and death.

She sagged against me, the little flower girl, and cried until there was nothing left. She told me, even though I knew her voice was fuzzy in her head as she spoke, that she couldn't hear me, and that she was scared she'd gone blind. My words couldn't reach her, so I rocked her. It was the most comforting - the only comforting - motion I knew. He tears streaked my shirt,and her sobbing didn't stop until she'd cried herself to sleep.

Was this healing?

I laid her back down, covering her up as best I could, and took a long shower. What had I managed to get myself into? What would I do with her? What _could_ I do with her? What would Hojo do to us once he found I was hiding her?

Stop. Breathe. Worrying and fretting will accomplish nothing. There is nothing but the present. Once she is well enough, I can take her on a mission with me and dump her in whatever hell-hole Hojo sends me to. That is, provided of course, for some strange reason, he doesn't attribute me to her disappearance in the first place.

I sighed. The more I thought of it, the worse I felt. I steadied myself, resolving to let the future come as it may.

When I was dry and calm, I walked back into the bedroom. She couldn't see me, so I simply dressed there in the room. I suspected her of being asleep, but when I returned to fetch a pair of socks after hanging up my towel, she turned to face me again. It was unnerving how easily it seemed she could sense me. I knew she was Cetra, but to be able to sense other people like that? Or was it, perhaps, easy for her to notice me when there were no other life forms around?

"You're... You're the one who saved me, aren't you?"

She couldn't hear me if I answered, so I merely stayed quiet, observing.

After a moment, she continued. "I want to... to thank you. Taking me from Hojo is dangerous, that much I can guess. I'm sorry if I've put you in any danger."

I felt strange, having her apologize to me over such a strange matter. It was as if she was apologizing for the faults of another person. I'd put myself in my current predicament, not her. She did not know who I was, otherwise I'm sure she'd treat me with kind of profound mixture of horror and disgust.

"I hate to be a bother but... I'm so hungry, and so weak. Please, will you help me?"

I stared at her. It had taken me nearly a week before I could walk, and here she was, turning when I entered the room and asking for my aid without even knowing my name.

Such a stupid thing.

No, not stupid. Simply too quick to trust..

I left her and returned with soup, as well as an injection of mako. I didn't know how to convey that I was trying to help, but she would be too weak, not to mention placated by the food, to fight me. I didn't care if I held her trust on not; I cared that she healed so I could make her leave.

I'd heated the soup very little, wanting to make sure that it wouldn't burn her, or torment her tender stomach. I tried to get her to sit on her own, but her muscles were so lax that she sank against the pillows I had propped her up against. "I'm sorry," she apologized, embarrassed. "I can't seem to get my body to respond."

I knew exactly how she felt, and found that I could muster no anger toward her. I was angry at her for other reasons, of course, but not for the fact that her body was failing her. Sitting upon the bed, I let her lean against one side of me, cradling her head in the crook of my elbow and feeding her with my other hand. She ate far more soup than I thought she would, a good sign, but I would not offer another bowl. Overeating when healing is not a good idea, and she was tiny enough as it was; I couldn't imagine she could manage to fit more in that small stomach of hers.

She smelled of my shampoo, and of moist earth. I found the last thought entertaining in a strange way. Here I was, enjoying the smell of her and yet I hadn't the slightest idea as to what her name was.

She babbled a little, between the spoonfuls of soup. She thanked me again and again for helping her, even though she had no idea what she'd been thrust into. All that mattered to her was that I was not Hojo, though how she could deduce that without seeing or hearing me was simply fascinating.

I've no idea how much time passed between us before I felt it time to give her the mako injection. I knew that she would need it soon, for not long after I'd finished feeding her did she begin to tremble, full body tremors that made her teeth chatter together.

I prepped the needle, unwrapping it from it's sterile package. I spoke to her then, reassuring words in a low tone so that she would not fear what I was about to do to her. I'm sure that she had gained a fear of needles under Hojo's hand, but this was something that could not be avoided. Be it a by product of the way we were resurrected, or simply that our new bodies processed it different, mako energy was needed. I hadn't paid it much mind when it had just been me in the lab, but once I put thought on the subject, Hojo had been giving me mako injections at more widespread intervals. I recall having them, at one point, at least one every other day.

She tensed when I touched her, like she knew what was coming. "Please, no," she began, and I had a feeling that her next set of tremors were from fear.

I had little other choice. I took her arm, found a vein, and carefully injected her. There was a moment of silence.

Then, all hell broke loose.

Her back arched like she was possessed, her mouth opening and closing as she gasped for breath. She flopped from my grasp and onto the bed. I stepped back, shocked. It had not been like this for me; what in Gaia's name was going on?

I feared, for a fraction of a second, that I'd managed to kill her again. The thought was both funny, in an ironic sense, and terrifying. I wished no more dead by my hand, least of all some woman I was trying to help.

Her neck was straining, her jaws suddenly clenched as she twisted over, whimpering, and, then, suddenly, a power filled the room, a rush of magic rising and falling like a wave through the entire area. The lights flickered, then shone bright again and, finally, popped as the wave eased out of the room.

She laid there, panting, gasping for breath, as I stood there, dumbstruck. She turned her head away from me, and began, once again, to weep.

I left in search of more light bulbs, for lack of want to stay in the apartment. I walked out my front door and began down the pitch-black hallway. Near the end of the hall was an old maintenance closet, and inside was a shelf filled with varying watts of light bulbs. I took several, filling my arms, and slowly walked back. I changed the ones in the living area first, then in the kitchen, the bathroom, and the hallway. I couldn't bring myself to return to the bedroom, not yet.

I finished another book, and slept on the couch for a few hours. When I woke, I knew she would be hungry again, and so I set to making another dish that wouldn't wreak havoc on her stomach. Rice, no matter how bland, would do well. I set a pot to boil, and placed a few pieces of bread in the toaster oven. If she didn't feel up to rice, plain toast would do well enough. I didn't have enough spice to make a nicer meal, and, to be fair, I wasn't much of a cook to begin with.

She was already facing the door when I entered the room. I saw her tense up, but the smell of food relaxed her. I sat her up again, knowing I would be forced to feed her like last time. She ate without chit-chat, keeping only to chewing and drinking the water I'd brought. I felt guilty, as if I'd done something terrible, though not understanding what I'd done in the first place made it difficult for me to place the guilt. After she'd eaten, I bundled her up in the covers and left her to sleep more. I fed myself thereafter, eating the left over rice and toast, and then grilling a piece of fish when I found myself still hungry.

I was in the middle of cleaning the dishes when I was summoned. I sighed, dried my hands, and phased through the floors toward the lab.

I had to hide my smile when I entered the room. Hojo's hair was pulled from its normal, greasy ponytail, wild and falling about his face. His cheeks were red, a likely indicator that he'd been into the bottle. His voice was hoarse as he screamed at his team of lap-dogs.

"All of you are suspect! All of you! I will find which one of you that took her, and I will hack you into such tiny pieces they won't ever be able to identify you!"

One of the assistants was crying, obviously scared shitless.

"I should put one of these on each and every one of you ingrates." He jabbed at the collar around my neck. His boot-kissers flinched, terrified of Hojo's wrath.

I kept my cool, trying to retain a steady heartbeat. Hojo's collar was hooked up to monitors, and he would notice an unusual spike in blood pressure and heart rate. The spike upon my entrance could be attributed to his yelling. So far, I was in the clear.

"Command: answer the following question. Did you steal the girl?"

You cannot steal what someone doesn't own. And, no matter how they must obey you, you cannot own another being. You may have claim to them, but you do not own them. Hojo was a fool for thinking that he could own a person. I may have been his slave, but he no more owned me than he owned my thoughts. I was his in name only.

I did not steal the girl.

I had set her free.

"No."

And just like that, I had found a loophole it he collar around my neck. If I truly believed it to be true, and I answered after being given a command, I was not lying. Previously, I had been convinced that the device prevented me from lying. All other questioned orders Hojo had shot at me had been questions without wiggle room, like when he asked if I could still see in the dark. There was no way to wiggle around a question as dry as that, but what he had just asked me? Ah, it opened my mind up with unimaginable ways to fuck with him.

Hojo turned away from me, back to his lab techs. "If I affixed a collar to each and every one of you, I wonder who would end up dead from the pain after I ask a similar question?" He flipped his wrist, flicking his hand toward the door, signaling that I was permitted to leave.

If it wasn't so damn undignified, I would have skipped. I was giddy, coasting on a wave of pure delight. _Finally_ something was going right. He would not find her. I'd set a victim of Hojo's free, stealing him right out from under his nose. Forget that it had been that infernal puppet's tentative love interest; since being reborn, I'd finally done something decent with my pitiful existence.

I couldn't stand still. I paced in the kitchen, wishing she wasn't temporarily deaf. I wanted to tell her that she was free. As soon as she was healthy enough to be on her own I would...

I would be alone again, wouldn't I?

"Is... is there someone out there? I need help, please."

Here I was thinking of her, and yet I'd nearly forgotten that she was in my bedroom. As always, she was facing the door when I entered. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to bother you it's just... I... I have to use the bathroom, and my legs aren't working that well." When I looked at her legs, it was obvious she had tried to drag herself out of bed. One leg hung limp off the mattress, the other twisted in the sheets.

I vaguely wondered if this was how it felt to raise a youngling. She was so helpless; was she able to do anything without me? At least she could speak and tell me what was the matter, instead of crying like an infant.

It was an interesting ordeal getting her to the restroom and giving her enough personal space. I left the door open when I exited, just to make sure that, if she fell, I could hear her. When she was finished, she called for me again, and I carried her into back to the bedroom. I stood still there for a moment, awkwardly, wishing she could hear me. I wanted to ask if there was anything else she might need, but if she couldn't hear me there was no point in wasting my breath.

Still, I knew she could sense me, and my standing by her bed for a few moments seemed to convey the message her ears were unable of hearing. "I think I'm alright for now. Thank you. I'm sorry that... that I can't do more for myself. I swear I'm not normally so useless."

Her smile was...pleasant.

Thin limbs, small waist, thin neck; she was a pretty woman, I'd give her that, but her lack of physical strength made her, at least in the eyes of a Soldier, seem just that; useless.

One of the first things I taught new recruits, however, was that you never underestimated the enemy. She may have been small, but I knew, first hand, that her will and magical prowess was something to be reckoned with. Even after death she'd had the ability to save the world.

There was nothing left between either of us for the moment; she needed her rest, and I had no way to otherwise communicate with her, so I left the room, careful to leave the door open a crack in case she called for me again.

After a few hours, after the initial wave of giddiness had all but washed out of me, I checked on the girl. She was fast asleep, tangled in the sheets of my bed. I was glad that she could rest, that what Hojo had done to her had not broken her completely.

I napped on the couch, playing some classical piano pieces on the apartment's still working stereo until I was called again. The problem I suffered due to the lack of clocks my apartment was that time moved both quickly and slowly for me. I never had to worry over being late, or sleeping in, but I also had no idea how long I'd slept for, or even how many days had passed since I had brought the girl home. But, with my collar buzzing, there were more important things to tend to.

Hojo had regained his composure since the last time I'd seen him. He still looked angry, of course, but he was sober this time around. He ordered a blood test for me, swabbing my arm and muttering to himself.

I wanted to goad him. I liked to see him miserable, though getting pleasure from someone's frustration and misery didn't exactly make me a good person, either. "Why can't you just make another?"

He glared at me. "You might think it's that easy, but you're missing the big picture. I had pulled her soul from the Lifestream, Number One. I had done what no other on the planet could even comprehend; I'd truly brought someone back from the dead. Without her soul, without her memories, another copy of her would be useless, not worth the pile of flesh it would be made out of. I didn't need her for her body or her blood. I needed her for her memories, for her secrets."

I watched as he scribbled on his clipboard. "The gym is nearly finished. You should use it. Just because you can't go outside doesn't mean you can't use those legs of yours."

"Is that a command?" The look he shot me would make a lesser man cower. But, he could not reasonably be angry with me; I had asked him a simple question.

"Yes. I command you to get some damn exercise."

"Very well," I replied, turning my gaze away from him and looking about the room in a rather unamused fashion. "Have you found which one of your sheep took the girl?"

Hojo pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Don't concern yourself. She is no matter to you."

I rolled my eyes, trying hard to look both unimpressed and uncaring.

"You need more Vitamin C. I've left a bottle of supplements in my office on my desk. Take them when you leave. Before you do, however, I want you to cover five miles on the treadmill. You don't have to run; a decent jog would suffice."

He turned, examined the vial of blood he had drawn from me, and set back to his science as I ran. When I was finished, I took the bottle of pills from his desk and, while I would take a few myself, I knew that the girl would do better with them in her system.

It bothered me somewhat that I didn't know her name. But, being unable to ask her, my problem would remain for a time. When I returned, I pushed open the door to make sure she was well.

She was humming, light and airy.

A single hand was resting atop the speaker that sat on the bedside table. I'd completely forgotten that I'd left the music on when I'd had hurried off to Hojo's lab.

"You can hear?"

She turned toward me, half of her face covered by the wrap. She tiled her head, then sighed. "I can feel the music, though not perfectly. But, I still can't make out your words. I'm sorry."

It had taken me a week before I could stand. How could she, such a tiny and fragile thing, be so strong yet all the while lack actual physical strength?

There was power in her that I would never have imagined.

"I'm glad you appreciate music," I found myself saying, even if she couldn't hear me. It was nice to have a conversational partner without fear that if I say the wrong thing I might get electrocuted within an inch of my life.

She tilted her head at my words, obviously curious as to what I was saying. I was surprised that she wasn't more frustrated with her current position of 'helpless'. I knew that, when I had been as weak as her during my recovery, I was nothing but angry at everything. Though, to be fair, it was a rare day I wasn't angry with _something_.

I laid on the opposite side of the bed and listened to the music with her, my back resting against the headboard. Freeing her from Hojo had been a sort of revenge for me, something that, at first, I never believed that I would get away with. Yet here I lay, next to the woman who had stolen my chance at godhood from me like it was nothing, listening to the sweet melody of a piano.

Why had I taken her?

"Will supper be soon?" she asked me, sincerely.

My mind was reeling, but it wasn't uncomfortable. I walked to the kitchen, listening to her soft voice hum in tune with music while I made simple pasta. I brought her a plateful, and pulled her into a sitting position. Penne noodles didn't needed to be cut, thank the stars. I hated dealing with spaghetti noodles anyhow.

"You cook very well." She smiled after her first bite.

Perhaps she was being truthful in her compliment, or perhaps she had merely forgotten what actual food tasted like. I was sure Hojo kept her alive with various nutrition shakes or, if she couldn't eat, merely pumped her full of whatever was needed to keep her alive. I watched her, wondering what she would think if she knew her hero, her savior, her personal chef, was the man who had killed her.

No wonder the puppet had sought out her companionship. Just being next to her was relaxing. It was as though a calmness radiated off of her in waves. I found that, while I had earlier decided I hated her - regardless of my having saved her from Hojo - for stealing my dreams of being a God, I couldn't find anything to hate _about_ her. Save her obvious innate _goodness_, of course, but I didn't expect any less from her. When I had watched her though Cloud's eyes, she was always smiling at him, always soothing the hearts of her comrades. Her sunny disposition was not forced; even in dark times, she carried her own weight and then some.

When she'd finished all that I had brought her, she thanked me again for my generosity. I grimaced, but let the expression fall quickly from my face. Let her think what she wanted. As I was moving her back to lay down, her hands twitched slightly, and I watched as a wave of gooseflesh erupted over her skin. After a moment, she sighed.

It was time for another mako injection. She was going through withdrawals.

Dammit, I needed a clock, a calendar; I needed to know how often I was administering her doses. I was sure that there would be something in another one of the apartments. Perhaps even Hojo would have some kind of time-telling device in his lab.

I wondered how long it had actually been since I'd freed her.

I took her plate into the kitchen and returned with another shot. I hadn't the slightest idea how she knew what was in my hand, or what my intentions were, but she pushed herself against the headboard as soon as I walked in.

"Please, no, I'm okay. I promise. I'm alright. I don't need - I'm not going to - I can't - please -"

Wet stains appeared behind her blindfold as she begged.

There was, however, no other option left to me.

I reached out and gently took her wrist. She was shaking by now, and tried to pull away from my grasp. Her teeth were chattering.

How could I communicate that she needed this without words?

Very carefully, I placed a hand to her face. She was so small compared to me, my palm covering more than her entire cheek. Shaking her head against my hand, I felt as another tremor took over her body.

I didn't want to force her if I could help it.

She sucked in a breath, then thrust her arm out to me. "I know you're trying to help me, but this... I... I can't even explain what it does to me."

I held her wrist still in my grasp for a moment. I wish I could understand her. Perhaps when she could hear me, I would ask what she meant.

Despite her shaking, despite her pleas, I gently stretched her arm out on my lap and searched her skin for a vein. When the deed was done and refined mako flowed through her veins again, I readied myself for her reaction. I expected it was going to be much the same as the last time and, as a precaution, had turned off nearly every light in the apartment.

The wave that rushed through the room was warm, but crashed into me with as much intensity as the ocean. I stumbled backwards, reeling away from her, as all of the breath was struck from my lungs. I gasped and held the wall for support, watching awestruck as she writhed about on the bed. The room smelled like ozone, like the air after a heavy rain, but the only sound was her soft breath, coming and going in great heaves. She clutched the bed covers with her tiny hands so tightly that her knuckles were white.

I'd have to change the light in the bedroom. Again. Pity I'd forgotten to turn it off right after I'd injected her. My previous expedition to the maintenance closet had left me with three extra light bulbs. I fetched one from the kitchen counter when I felt I could breathe with ease again, and carefully disposed of the burnt one.

I wondered just how much power hid in that tiny frame of hers. Once, I had been completely unable to comprehend just how she had bested me. Now, with only having been in her company a few days, I wondered how I had thought of her as insignificant before.

She was sleeping when I had finished washing up the kitchen. I turned on more music, knowing she would appreciate it when she woke and as dozed on the couch for a few hours. I dreamed of flowers, a flower garden in the rotting remnants of a decrepit church. I felt as though I knew the place, had seen it outside of my dreams, but could not place where, exactly. The smell of roses, lilies, tulips and angels grace flooded my sense, and set my nerves at ease.

For once, things were going well.

But, good things hardly last, especially, it seems, if I'm involved in any of it. My collar began to tremble around me neck, tearing me from my peaceful dream full of flowers. I phased upward and entered the lab, not surprised when I encountered Hojo bent over his lab table, eyes staring down the business end of a microscope.

I stood there for several minutes before he felt fit to begin conversing. "I've another mission for you."

It felt like a stone had set in the pit of my stomach. I hadn't thought of having to leave the girl behind. Hojo hardly gave me missions so close to one another, but perhaps it had been longer than I thought since the last one.

"Another political activitst?" I sneered

Hojo's brow knit. "You'll keep your mouth shut and your tone mild, if you've any sense of self-preservation."

I said nothing in return, merely started at him expectantly.

He handed me another folder. I flipped it open, browsing over the contents with dread welling within. When I came to the picture of my victim, I stilled completely. It was a woman. She was hardly old enough to drink. "She's just a child."

"It's not your concern."

Hojo's tone let me know that he didn't care much for my opinions. "The following are commands: You will kill Kenna Reamos. You will be seen by no other human being and, if you are, you will end them. You will attempt to complete your task by the week's end, and will do everything in your power to ensure it is finished. If, for whatever reason you are unable to complete your task, you will promptly return here to face the consequences. You will not try to escape or evade your duties."

The room spun, and I heaved, nearly throwing up this time. Damn the side effects, damn the collar, and damn Hojo. But, most importantly, damn me.

When I found the ground still beneath my feet, and the urge to vomit nearly gone, Hojo was absent and the lights of the lab had been turned off. With darkness all around me, I phased down to my apartment and began to pace about, dreading what would be done about the girl. I took several water bottles from my cupboard and filled them. I had no real use for them, and hadn't used them since I'd claimed the space as mine, but they had sat in the cupboard, undisturbed, anyway. I gathered up fruit and what little dry goods I had that didn't need to be prepared, like granola and nuts, and made my way to the bedroom.

She was sleeping when I entered, and I gently shook her awake after I'd set the food on the bed.

"I don't suppose you can hear me now?" I tried.

The Cetra tilted her head up at me, curious but unable to understand.

I took her hands and had her reach to the food I'd placed on the bed for her, making sure she knew where it was. Doing the same with the water bottles, I waited patiently for her to respond.

"This is a lot of stuff, but I'm not sure I understand. Are you going away or something?"

I placed my hands on either side of her head and nodded it up and down, very gently, making sure that she got the message. She smiled when I did it, obviously not having expected it.

"Is there any way you can tell me how long you'll be gone?"

I couldn't, because I didn't know. It could be a day, it could be most of the week. With my hands still in place, I shook her head. She smiled again at it.

"Alright. Thank you for letting me know; I'd be pretty scared if you'd just suddenly just stopped showing up." 

I thought about giving her an extra dosage of Mako before I left. Too much, however, and it would kill her. Not enough and she would wind up in pain, yes, extremely ill, and perhaps if it went on too long then death, but the threat of immediate death was not a looming one. I decided against another injection, but still worried over the prospect of leaving her alone.

As I moved to take my hands from her face, she reached out with her own and gathered my hand in hers. "Thank you for all that you've done for me." The sincerity in her voice was sickening. It amused me to think of what her reaction might be once she found out who I was, and what, exactly, I'd taken from her in the first place. In all fairness, had I not taken her life, she wouldn't be here. Ah, but if she hadn't tried to stop me, I wouldn't be here, either. Interesting the way fate falls.

I gently took my hands from hers and gathered my clothing to change. From Midgar to Junon was a long flight, but I could remain visible once over the mountains; the hills were scarcely populated, and people rarely ventured outside during the cold nights of winter.

Properly outfitted and geared, I phased and shot skyward, though stories upon stories of the building until, having made it though the roof, shot southwest. The night was cloudless, the air crisp, but I could not find it in me to appreciate such beauty in nature. I was on my way to kill someone, and there was no way I could avoid the matter.

I reached the outskirts of Junon by mid-day,, becoming invisible as I neared the radio towers surrounding the city. The residence of my target was a large apartment building in the upper area of the city. I phased through the glass door on the balcony, staying unseen, and carefully looked about the room.

She was seated on the couch, facing the opposite wall I'd entered in.

I nearly jumped from my skin when she spoke. "I know you're there. I knew it was only a matter of time before they sent someone."

I held my breath, staying completely silent and unmoving, until she turned her head and looked me directly in the eyes. "Come on now, that's not very civil. I want to see the face of the man sent to kill me."

I hesitated, then phased back into the visible spectrum. "How can you see me?"

She shrugged. "Most likely the very reason you've been sent to kill me; I've got powers, and I won't bend over backwards so Shinra can fuck me in the ass."

Carefully, my hand poised upon the hilt of my sword, I circled the couch so that we were facing one another. Her eyes were big and brown, doe-like, but even so she was unafraid.

"I apologize," I offered. It was the best I could give her.

She actually smiled at my words. "I appreciate it. But, better to die free than live in chains."

Her words stuck me. "Indeed."

"Well, can I ask you something first?"

I paused, narrowing my eyes.

She went on, despite the fact that I hadn't opened my mouth. "Can you make it as clean as you can? My little brother is likely coming over in a few hours, and I don't want him to see a big mess. I want him to remember me without my being covered in blood."

Shame and anger overwhelmed me, only to be replaced by a drowning feeling of helplessness. "As you wish," I replied, then took my dagger from my boot. Slowly, I knelt in front of her, placing one hand behind her head as I tilted her neck back.

"You know, I would have never guessed that they would have sent the great General Sephiroth to end me. I always thought'd be, I don't know, snipped while in the market, or taken out in the middle of the night by a sweeper team. It's an honor, sir."

I slit her throat, choking back my breath as the life drained from her eyes.

My hands were shaking so terribly that I found I couldn't sheath my dagger. I left in on the carpet, dripping with blood, next to the slippers on her feet. I stood, unable to look about my work, and forgot to phase out of the window as I leaped from it. The glass shattered and fell to the streets below. I became invisible and flew as fast as I could toward Midgar. I craved the fresh air, the open expanse of sky, but knew that unless I had four very sturdy walls around me, I was going to completely lose myself.

A day and a half in total had passed when I made it back to Midgar. As soon as I phased through several layers of the building, my collar went off. Hojo knew I was back, and wanted to see me. I would have screamed, had people not been on every floor I passed. It would do me no good to scare them with a disembodied voice. I'm sure it would only end in my punishment, anyway.

I entered the lab as my two minutes was nearly through. I stomped past Hojo's diligent little toys, this time actually scaring them into submission; none dared look at me.

Hojo tapped his clipboard with his pen. "You were almost late, you know."

"I'm aware. I've only just returned, however, so you'll have to excuse me." I said it with as much bitterness as I could.

My tone was met with a stone-cold glare that matched my own. "Be mindful, Number One."

I said nothing in response, merely waited.

"I wanted you to report on your latest mission while it was still fresh in your mind."

I stood at attention, as I once had during my so-called employment in Soldier. "The target was waiting for me, and could sense when I arrived. She was surprised that I was the one sent to kill her, and asked that I make her death a clean one so that her sibling might not be too disturbed when he arrived at her dwelling later in the morning."

He took a moment to gather his thoughts. "And she could see you, couldn't she?"

I hesitated, and Hojo smiled at me. "Yes, I know that you can become invisible. You used to use that trick to escape getting your Mako shots when you were small. Of course, I beat it out of you after the second mishap, but that is neither here nor there. Now, answer my question."

I didn't remember the hiding from Mako shots incident, but it seemed like something that might have transpired; perhaps I had simply been too young to recall, or perhaps I'd simply forced it from my memories. So few of them when I'd been young were pleasant, after all. "Yes, she could see me. She could sense me, as well, as I said."

A dreamy look overtook Hojo's sharp features. "Such a pity I had to end her. If she had just submitted to my testing, she would still be alive."

"Better to die free than live in chains." Her words were out of my mouth before I had time to register that I had been the one the say them.

Hojo met my stare, his expression having twisted into something more sinister. "Too bad you don't have such a luxury," he mocked.

"Have you found who stole the girl?"

That got him. His face twisted in rage, and I could hear him grinding his teeth. "No, but rest assured that, when I do, they will wish they'd never been born." He stood and left me, turning out the light as he went.

I wanted to gut him. I wanted to rip him apart, piece by piece, and when he begged for mercy, I would laugh. No longer did I revel in killing, true, but his death screams would be some kind of fantastic melody to my ears, the last life I willing enjoyed destroying. If it was the last thing I did while alive on this forsaken rock, Hojo will be no more.

Wrought with rage, seething with anger over the idea of my own helplessness, I phased down to my safe place, my so-called home, ready to hit something, a wall, a door, anything-

I nearly toppled over her, the little Cetra girl.

She was lying, face down, in my hallway, halfway between the bathroom and the bedroom.

All of my anger and desperation flooded out of me, replaced with a rush of anxiety and, I admit, slight annoyance.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

She sighed. "I thought I felt up to the task of dragging myself to the bathroom, so that I wouldn't have to... make a mess of the bed."

I paused, my breath catching. "You can hear me?"

She turned her head to face me, a smile lighting up her features. "I guess I can, can't I? You're a little fuzzy, but I can understand you well enough. Now, I hate to be rude, but can you pick me up? I'm terribly cold down here on the floor."


	2. Quiet Forest

Chapter Two: Quiet Forest

I picked her up and laid her in bed, just as she had asked. She was shivering, and though I worried she needed another Mako injection, I decided I would give her enough time to warm up and settle down before I contemplated pumping her with more of the refined Lifestream. She could have just been cold and weak.

"How long were you on the floor?"

She brought a finger to her lips, thinking. "To be honest, I'm not really sure. I'm not that hungry, but I did manage to sleep for a little while, so I guess it was at least a decent stretch of time. How long were you gone?"

I paused, feeling awkward. I had honestly figured she would have been deaf for longer. Conversation wasn't a strong suit of mine. "A day and a half."

"Oh, not terribly long, then. I needed to, uh, use the restroom. I thought that perhaps my legs would cooperate with me a little better. Obviously, it didn't work so well. I got there alright, but getting back was harder. I guess I should've thought it out better."

I mentally kicked myself for not realizing that, while I'd given her food and water, I'd neglected to think of other needs she might have. "No, it was my fault. I apologize for leaving you for so long. It couldn't be avoided, however."

She pulled the covers up under her chin, smiling as though I'd said something humorous. "Don't be sorry. If you had to leave, you had to leave. I'm thankful that I'm out of Hojo's grasp, that's all. You could leave me here for a month for all that I would care. As long as it's not a Mako tank or one of his holding cells, I don't mind where I am."

I studied her, glad she couldn't see me. She was far more interesting than I'd previously determined.

"May I ask the name of my savior?" Her smile was bright.

"No." It was a simple answer, but I suppose that the change in her expression should have been expected.

For no reason that came to mind, I decided that I didn't want her to know who I was. Perhaps I was merely looking out for her well-being - she might panic when she realized who I was - or perhaps I was merely selfish and wanted to keep to myself. Whatever the logic behind it, her shoulders slumped slightly, and I could see that I'd made her feel sheepish.

"I didn't mean to offend," she offered.

"You haven't. However, my name is of little importance. Once you can walk again, and once I gain the opportunity, I plan to take you far from here."

She tilted her head. "Can I ask, then, where 'here' is?" Such a curious little thing, though I found I could not blame her.

"Far underground the city of Midgar, beyond where Hojo will ever think to look for you."

"That explains it, then." She sighed, as if she'd said it to herself, rather than to me.

"Explains what?"

She sighed. "I'm assuming that, since you took me from Hojo, you might understand, at least to some degree, what I am."

"A Cetra."

"The last one, to be exact. And as for you question; I can sense life. I can sense people, and plants, and animals, and more importantly, the Lifestream. I can hardly hear the Lifestream where we are now, surrounded by so much concrete, and you're the only life that I seem to sense for quite a distance. It's like a ghost town, and we are the only inhabitants." She smiled at that last sentence.

"Do you find something amusing?" I hadn't realized that I'd sat on the edge of her bed. I had never been comfortable in conversation, but this was easy. Loneliness can drive a man crazy, after all; it was merely the company of another I sought, someone who would not hurt me if I dared say the wrong thing, not necessarily hers.

"Well, if you're not going to give me a name, would you be upset if I gave you one?"

I cocked a brow, glad she was blind. "You wish to give me a nickname?"

"Well, how else am I supposed to get your attention? I think Ghost is rather fitting, after all. You come and go like one."

"Ghost?"

She nodded. "Honestly, it's what I've been calling you in my head since you rescued me."

I remained silent for a long while, watching her. "You're quite peculiar," I finally offered.

"At the very least, I'm far from normal." She shrugged, looking pleased with herself.

And I thought again to how Cloud had sought to be with her, at her side, near her. She was unlike any other person I had ever encountered.

"Do you already know my name?"

"No."

"May I tell you?"

"Yes." I was leaning forward, toward her.

"It's Aerith. Kinda like Earth."

I didn't know how to continue such a conversation, so I altered the topic. "Are you hungry?"

She nodded. "Oh, yes. May I make a request, though, if it's not too much trouble?"

"If it is within reason."

"Is there any more of that soup from the other day? With the lentils? It was so delicious, and it didn't make my stomach hurt."

"I'll return when it's finished." I left the room, feeling a myriad of emotions at once. Confusion, anxiety, calmness, restlessness, all swirling about within me; I wish I had given freeing her more thought. I didn't know what to do with her, what to say to her. Once her legs were mended, and she could walk again, I would find a way to take her away from Midgar. After that, I didn't need to concern myself with the thought of her again.

But, somewhere within me, I felt a slight sense of dread beginning to take hold.

I had nothing to fear when I was with her. I didn't need to watch my tone or what I said.

Maybe I'd simply been alone for too long. It had hardly been a week since I'd taken her into my care, and yet she was already under my skin after our first mutual conversation.

"Ghost?" she called from the bedroom.

"Yes, Aerith?" I liked saying her name. It was simple, and easy, much like and unlike who it belonged to.

"Can I trouble you to turn on the music again?"

I didn't answer, instead turning on the stereo and setting back to my work with the soup. Today was orchestral, not simply lone piano. I hummed along with the classics, and listened intently to the newly found favorites. I wasn't sure what, exactly, it was that I was feeling, but the fact that I was feeling anything other than anger, frustration, hatred, and helplessness seemed to wash everything else away.

I brought her the soup when it was finished, helping her to sit up, and placed a pillow in her lap. "You managed to get all the way the the bathroom on your own, so I'm sure you can hold a spoon and feed yourself."

She nodded in agreement, holding out her hands in anticipation of the bowl I had for her. Her fingers were thin, and her hands tiny; my hand was a comparative giant next to hers, as I handed the soup to her.

"Be careful, it's still somewhat hot."

"Thank you, very much."

I ate a bowl of my own soup next to her, sitting at the end of the bed, thinking how she wouldn't be so thankful, perhaps, if she knew who I was. While I had no intent to hurt her, I had little doubt that she would likely panic if I told her.

Her accelerated healing had my mind flowing in other directions. If she was recovering her strength as the days passed, far more quickly than I, however unsettling it was, she would likely need a little physical therapy before she could walk again. She was weak, yes, but it was likely that her muscles had atrophied from having floated in Hojo's Mako tank for a time. Muscle can heal, but it does not gain strength on its own.

When we'd finished eating, I'd opted to tell her what I planned. "Not now, but very soon, we are going to start working on getting your legs back on par with the rest of you. Depending on how long Hojo had you floating in that tank, your legs are mostly useless."

She handed her empty bowl to me. "I agree completely. I thought I would have been able to at least crawl on my hands and knees to the bathroom, but I couldn't even manage that. It was sheer determination that I managed to get up on the toilet. I hate to be more of a burden, but could I ask you another favor?"

"You're welcome to ask me for nearly anything, so long as your request is within reason."

"I would greatly appreciate some pants. And maybe a new shirt; this hospital gown I'm wearing is so big, that it keeps twisting up around me when I sleep."

"It's not a hospital gown, but I understand your discomfort. Let me put the rest of the soup away, and I will see if there is anything I can do for you."

"Wait," she said as I got up to leave the room. "This isn't a hospital gown?"

"No," I answered, suddenly cautious.

"Well, then, what is it?"

"It's my shirt."

She tilted her head up at me. Had her eyes not been under the blindfold, I'm sure that they would have looked up at me with disbelief. "Your shirt?"

"Yes, my shirt."

After a moment, she gave a soft laugh. "You're a very large man, then, aren't you? I'm practically swimming in this thing."

"I suppose I am." I took our bowls to the kitchen and ran them under hot water. Such a curious thing, she was.

I thought back to when I had first seen her in Hojo's holding tank, how angry I'd become over finding out she had been brought back to life. I had been so consumed by rage and anger that I'd run on the treadmill until I wanted to vomit. For a super-Soldier, it was likely enough distance to cover a good portion of the continent. Yet now, as she sat in my bed and ate my food, I found a serene calmness had washed though me. Albeit, I was swimming with emotion, yes, but overall, there was nothing bad I wished upon her.

I'm of the belief that man is predictable. There are, of course, cases that will break the mold - Cloud, you fantastic imbecile, I am thinking of you and your _goodness_ - as there are with nearly every argument of the absolute when one is considering such an idea. One must take into account the idea of free will, along with morality and ethics.

She was nothing that I could classify, nothing that I could predict. I'd spent much of my early years in simple conversation - mostly as Hojo forced several foreign languages down my throat - and even so, speaking with her was new. It was as though she held nothing back, and spoke exactly what she was thinking.

A person who hides nothing. How refreshing.

She had asked me for clothing, a necessity, being sure to ask me beforehand if she could even request a favor in the first place. Once the soup was put away and my kitchen was tidy, I walked through the front door of the apartment and down the hallway of closed doors. The first one I tried was locked, and so I used my simple mind trick to make the lock obey my will. There was nothing inside the apartment that struck me as something any kind of woman might wear. The festering pile of beer cans in the forgotten trash bin made me think that it had once been the home of a lonely soldier.

Instead of walking back into the hall, however, I phased through the wall and into another apartment. This one was nearly completely empty, the only things left mainly furniture.

Luck shined upon me as I entered the third apartment. One of the rooms had obviously belonged to a woman. I felt rather odd to rifle through the drawers of a woman I'd never met. Well, to be fair, I'm sure I'd feel just as awkward had I known her, as well. I'd no idea of Aerith's size, and so I simply filled my arms with things that I would feel comfortable wearing were I looking for clothing myself - tshirts and sweaters, jeans and jogging pants. I found a few sundresses, too, and while I wasn't sure her tastes, most of how I remembered Aerith had been that infernally pink _thing_ she'd worn. I found myself pleased when I thought of how I'd ruined it when I'd killed her.

I paused, my arms full of women's clothing. That was quite a strange thought, even for one so insane as I. I took a deep breath and set back to work. It would do little good to dwell on it.

When I returned, she smiled. She held her hands together in front of her. "I wish I could see."

"I've brought nothing of great beauty. These clothes are merely functional."

That elected a soft laugh from her, though I could not understand why on my own. "Are you always this formal?"

I began to set the clothes in piles on the bed, organizing them. "I'm not a people person," I admitted freely. "Most of my conversations are about militaristic strategies, briefings or debriefings, with people I would maim than stay in the company of."

"Military? Are you part of Soldier?"

"Yes and no," I continued, matching socks into pairs. "I suppose it can be said that I used to be, though I can't easily escape the fate I've been most recently forced into."

"And what would that be? Do you mean what you do for a living?"

"One could hardly call it a living."

"Then what do you do?"

"For lack of a better term, right now I am treated as an assassin."

She was quiet for a moment. "Oh," she replied, though I figured it was mostly due to her not knowing how to respond to such an answer.

"Before you think to judge me, know that it's not something I can control."

Another stretch of silence between us. "What... What do you mean?"

I leaned over her, placing one hand on the bed and taking her hand in mine. I touched her fingers to the collar around my neck, letting them dance across the materia embedded within.

"That's... Manipulate?"

"Yes."

"In a collar? It controls you?"

"To an extent."

"You kill for Hojo then, don't you?"

"I've little other choice."

"Is it just actions?"

"Yes and no. He, and only he, can command me to carry out my assassinations. But, he can also command me to answer a questions, and I am unable to lie because of it."

She sighed, seeming to try and wrap her head around the concept of my servitude. I watched as she wrung her hands. "How do you know that I'm safe here, then? Won't Hojo command you to give me back?"

"Ah, but that's the beauty of it. You see, Hojo was livid when he found you missing, as I knew he would be. But when he asked if I had stolen you, I answered completely truthfully. I did not steal you, because to steal something would imply ownership. I did not steal you; I set you free."

"But why?"

It was my turn for a pregnant pause. "To be completely truthful, it was out of my hate for Hojo. I wanted to see him upset, and I wanted to be the cause of it."

"That's not really healthy."

"I've come to terms with my insanity."

"Can I ask what happens if you don't listen to what he commands you to do?"

Did I want to tell her? What, after all, had I to loose? "Pain. Mind-bending, body-breaking pain. Then, my body moves on its own and I am forced to perform my given command anyway."

"That's what happened, then? When you left; you had to because Hojo commanded you to."

"Correct." I was nearly out of clothing to fold, though my supply of patience was still strong.

"And you killed someone." It was not a question she posed, more of a tentative statement.

"Again, correct."

She didn't speak for a long while, and at first I felt as though she might be judging me. I found it bothered me, though I'm not sure why it should have in the first place. Her thoughts of me were unimportant; once she was well, I would be free of her and she of me. She'd forget about me, and I would continue my life as a slave. She was nice to talk to while she was here, but company was a luxury that I was doomed to be eventually without completely

"Are you aware that you've a very sad, lingering aura about you?"

I dropped the socks I'd been holding, had been about to put upon her feet. "I'm not completely certain how to answer that. An aura?"

"Yes. It's not your own; it's like there's a spirit about you, pitying you."

I thought of the girl. The innocent little girl whose only apparent crime had been wanting to be free, not submitting to Hojo's needles and cages.

"If you'd let me, I can help you."

"Let's get you properly dressed, first."

Her face changed, lightened, or at least what I could see of it. "I'd nearly forgotten about the clothes."

"I fully admit to not being an expert on women's clothing. Tell me what you want to wear, and I'll see if what I've procured for you is close enough."

"Sweatpants and a shirt?"

"Long sleeve, or short?"

"Tank top, if you've got one. My shoulders are sore. If not, short sleeved."

I found what she'd asked and handed her the garments. "I must be blunt and outright admit that I didn't think took look for undergarments for you."

She shrugged, taking the clothing from me. "This is more than enough. Honestly, I don't think I'd feel really comfortable wearing somebody else's delicates anyway."

"Do you need assistance?"

It was an honest question, and I watched as her face heated when I asked.

"With the pants, a little. If you can help me get them on, up about my knees, I'm sure I can manage the rest."

I carefully extracted her legs from under the bed covers, giving her time as she gathered the loose material of my shirt around her waist to cover herself. I am not one to view the human body with any great ideals of beauty, but she was obviously smooth and long-limbed that, were I any less of a man, I might think to press her down against the mattress beneath me. She hadn't the slightest idea that I'd already seen her naked, had bathed her too, and, given how pink her cheeks were tinted this simple act, I'm sure if it would be simply mortifying if I told her. Helping her into the beginning of her requested pants, I informed her that I would be on the opposite side of the door until she needed me, or was finished.

It took a considerable amount of time. She'd been able to feed herself earlier, but bringing a spoon to her mouth was not the same as putting her arms over her head head and pulling on a shirt. She was likely sore, and was simply moving slow so, but just to make sure I asked aloud if she was alright.

"Apparently dressing when I'm blind is harder than I thought. Don't ask how I did it, but I think I managed to put my head through the arm hole. I'm nearly finished... Alright, you can come back in."

Her legs were still hanging off the end of the bed, so I carefully pulled them back up and covered them so that she might not become cold again.

So far, she was giving no indication that she needed another Mako injection, which suited me just fine.

"Now, will you allow me to help you?"

"With the supposed lingering spirit?" I didn't mean for my words to come out so sarcastically, but I didn't particularly believe in ghosts. I knew wandering forms of the Lifestream existed, yes, but ghosts? I was not a child.

"You mean to tell me you can't feel it at all?"

I paused and took in a deep breath, trying to clear my mind, mostly humoring her. But, when I finally let my guard down just enough, nearly giving myself a headache in the process, I felt the light hum of wayward energy drifting around me in a sad, sad swirl. I snapped my mental walls back up, taking a step backward more out of surprise than anything.

Aerith was smiling up at me. "I take it you know what I'm talking about now."

It took me a moment to gather my thoughts. "There is something you can do about it?"

She nodded, then leaned over and patted the edge of the bed. "I haven't done it since I was little, but it's not really something I can forget."

Tentatively, I sat down next to her. "What do I need to do? What are you planing on-"

"First off, you have to relax. You have to trust me, okay?"

I sighed. "I apologize. Trusting people, easy conversations; it is simply not in my nature."

She tilted her head, and though I knew she couldn't see me, I felt as though she was looking right through me. "Your heart is isolated, as is your mind. We are social creatures, humans. We need to depend on others every once in a while, or else we forget how. You saved my life. I trust you completely. All I ask is that you give me a little of that trust back, okay? I promise that, when we are through, you'll feel better than ever."

I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. What did I have to lose? Her words struck me, even though I'd closed up my heart decades ago. "You said you've done this before?"

"Yup. When I was younger, my mom - not my real mom, my adoptive mom - had her husband killed in the war. He wanted to see her before he passed to the other side, but he couldn't make it back before he returned to the Lifestream. At least, most of him. His regret stayed behind and hung like a wet towel over the kitchen sink, to the point where my mom would break down crying every time she did the dishes. So, I tried to open her up, to let her accept what he'd left behind, and it worked. I don't know how, I don't know why, but somehow I knew exactly what to do, and everything was just fine after that."

I studied her for a long while, my mind trying to wrap around the enigma that she was. I gave up. "Alright. Tell me what I need to do."

"Hold out your hands, palms up. Close your eyes and take a deep breath."

I did as she directed, but could feel nothing. After a short time, I asked, politely, if she remembered what she was doing.

"You have some very strong mental walls up. Do you know that?"

"I can't help it; I'm always on guard. It took a considerable amount of concentration just to lower myself enough to feel the spirit in the first place."

In answer, she shrugged. "I didn't think it would be simple. If I'm involved, it usually isn't."

I tried to hide the small smile that crept upon me, but I could not. I found her words amusing, despite how true they seemed to ring. The last time I had crossed paths with her, things had fallen into an uncontrollable downward spiral, resulting in the death of us both. Strange how, when I had first laid eyes upon her in Hojo's tank hardly a week ago I had been so filled with rage I'd nearly gone mad, and yet here I was, sitting next to her, idly chatting about how her odd powers and, though it was mostly my inner monologues, how she had brought about our demise.

"Teach me. Tell me what I can do to make this simple." It was refreshing being the one giving orders. I was so used to carrying them out; my time as a general, with entire armies at my command, felt like so long ago. Having such responsibilities, I can't deny I got completely full of myself. I like to give others direction. But, there is a great difference between giving a soldier an order to run an extra lap and a madman giving orders to murder.

"Relax. Completely let go. Detach yourself. I can do the rest." She took direction well. She would have made a decent soldier, had her physical attributes not been so lacking.

I took a deep breath, noticing how smooth and warm her hands were. I felt warmth at her fingertips, though it was a different sensation than body heat. If I were to put it in words, I suppose the closest sensation I can think of would be warm water, but light and airy. The warmth climbed up my fingers and my arms, causing my skin to break out in goose flesh. It was like getting into a warm bath on a long, cold winter night.

The spirit that Aerith had mentioned, that I had felt the very fleeting presence of, hovered over me in a cloud of worry and sadness. Now that I was open to it, I could hear voices overlapping one another in an attempt to reach me, but I couldn't distinguish what they were saying.

At the back of my mind, I felt the tendrils of another consciousness questing for entrance. I hesitated at first, but then lowered another mental wall to embrace the warm feeling that came with it.

Memories flashed through my mind; the very first time I'd had enough strength to fight Hojo when he tried to give me a Mako injection. I had hardly been six. Of course, I was put in solitary confinement for a week and went without food for three days. Hojo trained me like one might train a deranged animal, though I find it ironic that I ended up much like one. Another memory, this a decent one; Professor Ghast, the only decent human being I had ever encountered before the age of eight, had snuck me a piece of candy behind Hojo's back. It was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted in my life, and the reason, to this day, apple-flavored sweets make my mouth water. More memories kept flashing past, but my heart skipped a beat when I was forced to recall the memory of inside the convoy, with Cloud and Zack sitting next to me in the back of an army vehicle, on our way to Neibleheim.

I slammed my walls up, and ended up flying backwards into a concrete wall. Aerith's yelp as she tumbled backwards off the bed made me forget my own pain for a moment as I rushed to the other side of the mattress. Her legs, still tangled up in the bed covers, had prevented her from falling, but she was upside down and flailing her arms wildly, trying to get a better grip on something to pull herself up.

"Here, I have you." I scooped her upright, and held her like one might hold a sleeping child while I untangled her legs from the sheets. She was shaking, though had she not been pressed so firmly against me I doubt I would have noticed otherwise.

"I'm sorry," she fumbled. "That's never happened before. I wasn't trying to go through your memories, but once I was in I couldn't get back out, so I tried to just keep going, hoping I could get past and-"

"It's fine." She was flustered, and the sincerity in her words let me know that she meant what she said.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't-"

"I said it's fine."

She gulped, obviously unsatisfied over how I'd taken her apology. I wasn't upset, merely uncomfortable.

"How much did you see?"

"Honestly, not much. A lot of Hojo, the taste of apple candy, and the back of a truck before you kicked me out."

Internally, I let out a held breath. I was pleased that I'd been able to shut her out before there were any memories that she, too, might recognize.

Fixing sheets with one had is a serious pain. Happy that Aerith stayed mostly still in my arms, I fished under the cover for the edge of the bottom sheet to pull tight. Her arms were around my neck to better support herself, but in her weakened state didn't do much more than flop about.

"You have very nice hair," she mumbled into my shoulder. "How long is it?"

I didn't pause in fixing the sheets, despite my anxiety over the question. "Very long."

"Is it a nice color?"

"It is not. I'm switching what arm I am holding you with; don't fall."

Her grip around me tightened. "I'm sorry I'm such a burden."

This time I paused and sighed. "If I had not anticipated this level of care, I would not have freed you from Hojo's tank."

"But I'm so useless to you."

I set her on the bed, pulling the covers around her again. "Apart from Hojo, you're the first person I've been able speak to for... quite some time. Even if you can do little more than sit here, this is the most active my mind has been in months. You are far from useless, do you understand?"

She nodded, though I couldn't gauge what she might be thinking; her face was a stone mask.

"I'm not one to suffer fools, so know that if I felt you would be useless to me, I would have never brought you here in the first place." Another acquiescing nod from her. "And while we are on the subject, is there something you require right now?"

"A bath?"

I completely understood how she felt. "Give me a bit to get one ready for you."

"Thank you," she called as I left the bedroom.

Once in the bathroom, I took a moment to tend to myself. I wet a washcloth and dabbed my face, feeling strange. Since a young age, I always had a grip on my emotions. I had to, else Hojo might find something to use against mt. Being in Aerith's company was odd, as she spoke what was on her mind, regardless of fact or little else. She was not useless, not to me.

In the beginning, it had been about seeing how pissed off I could make Hojo.

But now? Now I enjoyed having someone to talk to, someone I didn't have to watch my tongue in front of.

She depended completely on me, and it was empowering.

I ran the bath, giving it a decent rinse before I filled the tub. I lacked bath salts, otherwise I would have used them, but I had, at least, the common commodities, like shampoo and soap.

When I entered the bedroom to retrieve her, she posed a question to me. "What am I supposed to do about the blindfold?"

Honestly, I hadn't considered it. I took a moment to think. "It will have to come off as it's holding up most of you hair. But, considering how long your eyes need to heal, any light might damage them further."

"What if we kept the lights off? Would you still be able to help me in the dark?"

I wasn't about to volunteer that I could see perfectly, even with no light. "That would work, I suppose. Put your arms around my neck again as I lift you up."

She did as she was told, and I carted her off to the bathroom. I set her on the lid of the toilet, careful to lean her back far enough so that sitting would not become a problem for her. "I'm going to take your blindfold off," I informed her as I turned off the faucet for the bathtub. "It's likely that, while you can't see anything, your eyes will feel sore."

"And all of the lights are off?"

"Yes, all of the lights are off."

"I... Alright."

I knelt in front of her. "Tell me why you're apprehensive."

"Am I that easy to read?"

"Tell me why you're apprehensive," I repeated, placing a hand on her knee.

She sighed, fidgeted with her hands for a moment, then sighed again. "I'm just nervous about being naked, that's all."

"Are you afraid of me?"

Her head pulled backwards. "Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you? No, I'm just not one to get naked. On top of body issues, the only other person to see me without clothes on was my mother."

"It's dark," I reminded her.

Another sigh. "It's nothing. Just me being silly. There's no other way around this."

"I'm not used to the company of women, so you'll have to forgive me for not fully understanding your reservations. Just know that I've had ample opportunity to hurt you, and I've done nothing but aid."

She shook her head. "It's not about the thought of you taking advantage of me. I trust you. I just don't want to be naked in front of you."

I began at her blindfold. "Fear and worry are irrational." Her hair fell about her face, tumbled down her back in great chestnut waves.

"It's just a personal stigma."

"We've little other choice."

"Are you always so straightforward?"

I almost smiled. I was frustrating her. "Yes, I am."

Another sigh. "I appreciate your help. I don't mean to complain, or seem ungrateful."

"Lean against me. I'll rid you of your shirt."

She did what I asked, and shortly thereafter she was fidgeting in front of me, most uncomfortable, and completely naked. To deny she was a thing of beauty would be to lie, but all things considered, I wasn't one to value much about the human body. To think she was beautiful was simple observation. To put any action behind such a thought would be problematic in our case; I may think she is a pretty little thing, but I didn't necessarily _want_ her. There was nothing wrong with simple admiration and appreciation.

I carefully lifted her up and set her into the bath, leaning her up against the back of the tub. "Is it too warm?"

She shivered. "No, it feels wonderful."

"How are your eyes?"

"Even though it's dark, I'm a little afraid to open them."

I took a washcloth from the towel rack and wet it in the bathwater for her, placing it in her hands. "Wipe your face clean, and try opening them."

She was careful, though I'm sure part of her gentleness was due to the lack of strength her arms suffered from. "You're right; they are sore."

"It's to be expected. For now, this is fine. We need to make sure your legs are working before we focus on your eyes."

"But what if I'm blind?"

"The fact that your eyes are sore is telling that you are not. Besides; Hojo is a perfectionist. I'm sure he pieced you back together exactly as you were. What is left is to simply heal."

I watched as her hand went to her heart, her fingers coasting over the skin near the bottom of her ribcage.

"What is it?" It was difficult to pretend that I could not see her. "You've gone quiet."

She moved her hands to her head, running her fingers through her hair. "There was something Hojo didn't recreate on me. It's just a bad memory now, I suppose."

Was she speaking of where I had run her through with Masamune? "A bad memory?"

"I was killed. Impaled by a sword, right through my heart."

"You were looking for some type of mark? A scar?"

"Something like that."

A long stretch of quiet passed between us. I had managed to think of nothing to say to her, so I simply kept my mouth shut.

Finally, she spoke. "Can you help me wash my hair? I don't think I can bend backwards enough to wet my head." Her voice had dropped, like she was upset but attempting to hide it.

I wouldn't press her. Though it was partially my business - I was the one who'd killed her - I left her to her own devices. I pulled the shower-head from the holder on the wall and began to wet her hair. After watching her struggle to wash it, I casually asked if she needed my assistance.

"Yes," she admitted. I couldn't tell if it was resignation or frustration I heard in her voice. Something else for me to put aside; were all women such fickle creatures?

After a time, she inhaled deeply. "Your shampoo smells nice."

"I did not choose it."

"You always shrug off compliments?"

"The shampoo is not mine; why would you compliment me for it?"

She laughed, effectively brushing her previously sour mood away. "You over-complicate and oversimplify everything, don't you?"

She was such a strange creature.

I rinsed her tangled mess of hair, and was informed thereafter that she was tired and wished to get out of the bath. "I think my fingers are all pruney now."

Drying her was difficult. With one hand, I pressed her against me so that she might stand up for a time. But, her legs weren't up to par with the rest of her, and as a result she mostly clung around my neck as I awkwardly swatted her with a towel in order to dry her.

"Can I bother you for one last thing?"

"I'm sure it won't be the last thing you ask of me, nor should it be."

"Can you brush my hair?"

The way she asked me, her voice so tired and resigned, I felt that I could not tell her no. So, once she was dressed, I set to untangling her wet mess of hair and ridding it of knots. Though her hair was shorter than mine, it hung in great waves and easily became tangled within itself. I sat on the edge of the tub as it drained, her in my lap leaning up against me, her head resting on my shoulder. Just like I had when I first rescued her, I piled her hair atop her head and secured it into a somewhat messy bun, and then began to blindfold her once more.

"Is the blindfold from another one of your shirts?"

"Yes. How can you tell?"

"It smells like you."

That caught me off guard, but I let it pass. "I'm taking you back to bed, alright?"

She nodded against me, snaking her arms around my neck once more. Her exhaustion was a sign that she would need Mako soon. I dreaded injecting her now that we could speak freely; before, I had merely been able to give her the damn shot and be done with it.

It was difficult putting her back to bed when she was so limp. I knew I couldn't avoid giving her another injection now. I left the room, after she was comfortably tucked under the covers, and returned with a sterile needle. Her breathing was coming in short, shallow gasps.

"I need you to relax, Aerith. You're hyperventilating."

"I don't want the shot."

"And I don't want to wake up to a dead young woman in my bed." I could see her shaking from the door.

"Please, I-"

"You can beg me until your voice is gone, but I know better than anyone that you need this to survive. I'm sorry it brings you so much pain, but-"

"It's not pain."

I paused. The moaning, the crying, had not been because of pain? "What is the problem here, then?"

She shook her head.

"You're being childish," I scolded as I sat on the bed next to her. "The more you throw a fit, the longer this will take Fear and worry accomplish nothing."

Aerith thrust her arm out at me, turned her head away, and clenched her teeth. I suddenly felt the villain.

"Tell me why this bothers you so, and perhaps there is something I can do to ease your discomfort."

"It's not discomfort, Ghost," she said through clenched teeth. "It's the mind-bending euphoria that follows."

"What?" I'd never heard of Mako having such side effects.

"Planet, I have to spell it out for you, don't I? First the bath dilemma, and now this." She sighed.

My collar began to vibrate, and I swore so loud that Aerith flinched. "It's not you," I assured her. "I'm being summoned."

"Wait!" She placed a hand to my wrist, gripping my sleeve tightly. "How long will you be gone?"

I shook her grip loose. "I can't say. I'll try to hurry."

Phasing upward, I made sure I was alone before I became invisible, and practically stomped into Hojo's lab. I didn't even bother to greet him, I simply stood in front of him and glared down while he scribbled on his clipboard.

"And what has put you in such a mood?" His voice was flat as he took a sip from his coffee mug. Hojo didn't even bother to look at me.

"I was just in the lab. I feel as though you call me just to see how quickly I can make it here."

Hojo met my eyes, an eyebrow raising above his glasses. "Number One, the last time I called you was nine hours ago."

I took a deep breath, steeling myself. "I have no sense of time down here. I can't see the sun." It was the truth; had it really been so many hours since last I'd been in the lab?

Hojo went back to his notes. "Then I advise you to use a clock. Take the one from my desk when you leave; it has both the date, as well as the time."

"What did you call me for?"

He put his cup down and stood, getting to the point. "I need another sample of your blood. You've become irritable as of late, and it is disturbing."

I was perfectly fine in Aerith's compay- Hojo was the only creature that made my blood boil.

And yet, I followed him into the secondary lab and sat on the table. He swabbed my arm and took my blood, as he has done a million times before, as he would likely do a million times more. "Your testosterone levels are unusually high. I'm going to cut back your zinc intake," he mentioned as though it was not important. Without even looking at the pad, he began to scribble notes. "It looks as though you need a small supplement of Mako as well."

As he readied the needle, I thought back to when I was younger. I'd hated needles, and had tried to fight Hojo whenever he meant to inject me. After having been beaten into submission enough times to realize it was futile to fight back, I'd learned not to let needles bother me.

A slight pinch and my body was pumped once again with refined lifestream. It was like a breath of fresh air. I began to think back to Aerith, and how I'd left her. Perhaps I could pull some kind of answer from Hojo. "Why are there no female soldiers?"

Hojo discarded the cartridge, then gave me an appraising look. "Because the female body utilizes Mako in a different way. To men, it essentially becomes a restorative. Men who have been conditioned correctly with Mako heal faster, and have far superior sense than a normal human. Women, however, absorb Mako. It can, essentially, give them the same level of strength as men, but the immediate side effects are not worth the trouble."

"Side effects?"

"I just gave you an injection. What did you feel?"

"Slightly warm, then as if I was taking a deep breath of fresh air."

"Magnify that feeling a good hundred and fifty times and you have, roughly, what it does to women."

"A drug-induced high?"

"Far stronger than any man-made drug, though it would take quite a large dosage to cause any lasting effect. Women are not indited into Soldier because each Mako shot they receive is accompanied by a forced overload of the endocrine system and the autonomic nervous system."

"Which means?"

"It's akin to a planet-shattering sensory overload every time it's injected directly into the blood stream."

Well, that explained quite a bit.

"Why are you so curious?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at me.

"I've been exploring further into the complex, and despite the hundreds of apartments I've entered, very few of them look as though they've seen the presence of a woman. Most of them are Soldier housing, yet all of the deserted uniforms I've come across were for men. And, lest I forget that I used to be a general; I cannot recall a single squad with a woman in the ranks." Because that was part of the reason, the words flew out of my mouth without hesitation. He hadn't asked for every reason I was so curious, and because of such that was all the information he would get.

Hojo ate it up, too, lucky for me. Since he'd brought me back, his ego was far too large; he thought he could do no wrong. What a silly loophole I'd found. "In the beginning, we had injected Mako into possible female candidates," he continued, "but considering the immediate after effects, that part of the research team was disbanded nearly instantly. There was no way around it, as once Mako is refined enough to inject into humans, there is little one can do to alter the chemical composition."

Suddenly, he smirked. "I'm sure whoever stole away my precious reborn Ancient is having a hell of a time with her. Mako in her blood is like drugs to an addict, but tenfold. Pure ecstasy she endures. I would bet my labs that she can hear the planet scream in her ears when it enters her blood. I only had the chance to see it once, but it was beautiful. Ah, yes, before it slips my mind, I wanted to let you know that I'll be gone for a short while, so do not expect me to call you back for a time. I've brought you more supplies. Don't forget to take the clock off my desk when you go."

I watched him leave, fantasizing what it would be like to run him through with Masamune, watch as he struggled to breathe as his lungs filled with blood. With every fiber of my being, I wanted to watch the light of life fade from his eyes, and even more I wanted to be the cause of his returning to the lifestream. How dare he think of Aerith as some kind of toy. He truly had no regard for any life.

Standing, I took the box of supplies he'd gifted me with, and then yanked the digital clock on out of the wall. Back at my dwelling, I began to unpack what Hojo had given; fish, bread, cans of vegetables and fruits. I preferred fresh, of course, but the fact that Hojo saw fit to give me solid food instead of the vitamin and mineral enriched slop he used to was a great joy. I had also been given a new toothbrush, though I would be gifting it to Aerith instead of keeping it for myself. My previous toothbrush was still fine, and-

"Ghost?"

I sighed. Here I was thinking of hygienics while she likely convulsed herself into oblivion in the bedroom. "I'm coming, Aerith."

"You seem upset," she informed me when I entered the bedroom. Her teeth were chattering.

"It's difficult to be anything else when one is face to face with the man in charge of your near every move. He could tell me to jump, and I wouldn't even have the time to ask him how high."

"I'm sorry," she offered.

"Not as much as I am. I can't neglect giving you this injection any longer."

"I know. I've got a bad case of the shakes, and I don't really think it's just going to go away. Alright, just do it."

"Good," I praised her.

She shrugged. "Like you said: fear and worry accomplish nothing. You're going to give me the damn thing even if I scream, so there isn't much point to my making a big fuss. I am going to ask you for a favor, though."

"If it's within reason."

"Don't stay in the room. Just shoot me up, and let me be until I can relax."

"Of course." I gingerly took her arm, carefully gripping her wrist and setting her arm across my lap as I sat down next to her. Her nostrils flared as she took a deep breath, readying herself. "At the rate you're healing, you won't need too many more of these. But, you are being brave and facing something you don't like. That takes strength."

"You're sugar-coating it, and while I appreciate it, I just want to get this done. Please."

"Very well."

The moment the Mako hit her blood, the air somehow became static. I hurried, pumping her full of the glowing liquid and then, as fast as I could, I left the room, switching off the light as I exited. Even from behind the door, I could feel the wave of energy roll past me, nearly bringing me to my knees. I busied myself in the kitchen, putting away the rest of the food, trying to drown her out. I turned on the music to help, but, with super-soldier hearing, I found it made little difference.

I plugged in the clock Hojo had made me take. Along with the time, it also showed the day of the week and the date, but, thankfully for me, not the year. I had little interest in knowing how long I'd been dead, let along how long I'd been Hojo's slave. I cooked the fish, wishing I had lemon or something to put with it, making use of the limited variety of spice I had at my disposal. I steamed rice, and greens along with it, and by the time I was finished Aerith was calling out to me again.

"It smells really good," she complimented as I entered the room.

"We are going to try something different today," I informed her, throwing back the covers and scooping her from bed.

"We're eating in the kitchen?"

"Even though you can't see it, I'm sure a scenery change will be appreciated." I set two cushions on the chair I intended her to sit in, then lined the chair with three more - one on each side, and the another behind her back - before I let her down. She settled comfortably enough, and I pushed her chair in so that she might rest her arms on the table were she to grow tired.

"What did you cook?"

"Fish, rice, and steamed greens."

She smiled as she sat, her thin little legs dangling out from under her.

We ate in relative silence, though twice I had to catch her water glass from slipping out of her hands. She apologized, as it seemed she was always prone to do, but I assured her that it was of no great concern. "I'm not particularly fond of these drinking glasses, to be honest. It would make little difference if one were broken." Her grip was weak- I couldn't expect too much from her, considering she had spent little more than a week in my compnay.

I put her to bed, and asked her if she needed anything.

"Music, if it won't bother you."

Even though she was helpless, I was impressed by how much strength she carried around. Yet, with such a tiny little body she had managed to defeat me, the strongest Soldier Shinra ever produced. Cloud had bested by body, yes, but it was the creature that laid in my bed who was, ultimately, my downfall. Though it felt strange to admit it, even if only to myself, on some strange level I respected her.

"Of course." I picked out something soothing, and listened intently as I cleaned the dishes.

She was deep asleep by the time I'd finished, and, given the time that flashed on the clock Hojo had given me, it was no surprise; it was, after all, the middle of the night. Still, with no sun or moon to indicate what time of day it was, I felt that the clock would do little for me other than remind me how long I'd been in captivity. I took a book to the couch and halfway into chapter three was floating in and out of sleep.

When I awoke I felt rested, which was something that hadn't happened in a long while. I checked on the girl, pleased to see her stretching out her limbs when I walked into the bedroom.

"My legs feel heavy," she complained, trying to roll over to face me.

"Today we will begin to work with them."

"Can we go somewhere other than the bedroom? It feels stuffed up in here."

I, too, had noticed a slight stagnant smell to the room when I'd entered, and after I'd carried Aerith out to the couch, I let her know that I would be back ofter stripping the bed of sheets and throwing them in the wash.

She was humming peacefully to herself when I came back. "So, you know how to do this kind of thing?"

"My training covers a vast amount of knowledge. I was forced to learn the basics of physical therapy during my life as a Soldier. It's been years since I used it, but it's not something one can forget."

"A jack of all trades?" She giggled.

"Is it so funny to have a diverse education?"

"No, no, I just thought of something funny."

"And you're going to keep it to yourself?"

"Well, I'm not sure if you'd find it funny. It's more just strange happenstance. The last person to rescue me from a dire situation brushed off my thanks, just like you."

"And you find yourself in dire situations often, do you?" It was fun to tease her.

Despite my words, she laughed. "So long as Hojo is around, I don't think I can really, truly rest. But as for the last time I needed saving; well, let's just say that people like to fall through the roof of my church."

I stopped. "You knew Zack Fair?" The words just spilled out. I couldn't help it. I recalled Zack telling me about how he fell through the roof of a church in the slums, and was woken up by the voice of an angel, surrounded by flowers.

Aerith sat up, leaning toward me. "You knew Zack!" she all but yelled.

I sat on the floor in front of her, astounded. "Yes, I used to be his superior," I stammered out before thinking.

She laughed good and long, giant smile spreading across her face. "I can't believe it! Out of all the people in the world, and I end up with someone who knew someone so dear to me! Tell me, did you know a soldier named Cloud Strife, too?"

Suddenly, anger welled up in me. How I managed to keep my voice level surprised even me. "Yes. I knew Strife as well."

Her happiness made me angry, but I hid it. I would not let her know who I was. It was difficult enough to take care of her as it stood. As soon as she could walk, I would be rid of her. I reached out and took her left leg in my hands, pushing up her sweatpants. I began to press the muscles in her calves with my thumbs.

"I can't believe my luck!" she sighed, lying back against the couch.

"It truly is a small world," I responded, again keeping my voice level.

"What I was laughing about earlier, that joke. You see, I met Zack first. He fell through the roof of my church, where I grew my flowers to sell in the slums."

"Flowers don't grow in the slums." It came out far bitter than I had intended.

She brushed it off. "I'm not sure if it's an Ancient thing, or if I just have a green thumb, but plants seem to put me at ease. I used to have such a garden, and when I would tell people that I sold flowers, they would all tell me the same thing; "you can't grow flowers in the slums." But, for some reason, the flowers never had trouble growing for me. Zack was... my first love."

She stumbled over the last part, and I had to remind my hands to keep working. I switched legs.

"But, it was never really meant to be. After Zack passed away, I..."

My hands fell. "I apologize." I found myself saying, though I could not figure as to why.

She shook her head at me. "It's not your fault. Death is a threat always looming around the corner for a Soldier. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but... it's what I told myself for a long time."

I felt bitter at how angry I'd become. "And Strife?" I found that, for the first time in a long while, I was genuinely curious about the life of another, though it was her, and not really Strife, I was asking about.

"Cloud was the second to fall from my roof. He made quite a hole, let me tell you. I never really got the entire story out of him until later, but he had fallen in with an anti-Shinra movement and, during a raid on one of the reactors, he ended up falling all the way from the plate in Midgar into the slums. The Turks were after me that day, and Cloud helped me escape in exchange for a date."

"A date?"

"Yup. But, Cloud is a bit thick headed, and, to be fair, I'm sure he was in love with Tifa and just didn't know it. When I aksed him what he did at first, he didn't really know how to respond, hence the jack of all trades comment. But, yes, the date. At the Gold Saucer; oh, it was so fun! It was my first time leaving Midgar, and I ended up on a crazy journey with Cloud and the rest of my friends. What a way to venture out and find yourself, huh?"

"And then what happened? Hojo stole you up from the Lifestream, didn't he?" It was cruel of me to ask, but my mouth could not still itself.

She stilled under my fingers and was quiet for a long time. "I... I can't say that I was murdered, because I think that the man who did it wasn't in his right mind when it happened. But I can't deny that I was killed by someone." Her hand, almost instinctively, went to her stomach, as if she were looking for a scar, just as she had done in the bath. "It was because of my blood. I was the only one who could stop him from hurting everyone I care about."

Her hands were shaking.

Why was I so calm? Little flower, I had meant to take your life. I knew exactly what was happening when I drove Masamune through you.

"Try to lift your leg. Let me have a look at you."

She did as I told her, and that was the last we spoke of that part of her past.

We fell into a comfortable flow thereafter, and for an entire month I never once became angry with her company. After we would wake, I would prepare breakfast while she sat at the kitchen table, and we would make small talk. Sometimes she would tell me of her dreams the night before, and others she would talk about her favorite foods or flowers.

Then, after we ate and I cleaned whatever dishes we had dirtied, I would carry her to the living area, plop her on the couch, and we would begin working on her legs. After a month, she was slowly gaining strength in them. She could move them when she rolled around in bed, or pull them underneath her as she sat, cross-legged, on the couch, but she would still not walk on them. She had been adamant about trying, much to my dismay, and I had woken up to hear her hitting the floor in the bedroom one day. She had been more angry and ashamed than anything, but I felt I could not blame her for wanting her mobility back.

After several hours of working with her legs, she would request a bath. After the first week of my helping her, she became determined to bathe herself, though, without telling her, I kept the door to the bathroom open. I'd take off her blindfold for her, and put it back on when she was finished, but since there was nowhere for natural light so somehow sneak into the apartment, so long as the lights were off she wouldn't know that I kept a careful watch on her.

Thereafter, we would have lunch, and for the rest of the afternoon we would talk of music or books of plays or whatever struck her fancy. She asked me, one afternoon, if I had any books, and when I told her I had an entire shelf of them, she begged me to read one to her.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, it's just sometimes I feel so bored. Not to say that you're boring; no, I'm the boring one. I mean, I'm running out of things to talk about with you, and-"

"All you have to do is ask, Aerith. All you _ever_ have to do is ask. There is no punishment for asking, and the worst that will happen is that I tell you no."

She fidgeted in her seat upon the couch, but as soon as I began to read to her, she leaned against my shoulder, as if she were able to read right along with me.

The Mako shots continued. She put up little fuss and, even though I was slowly lowering her dosages, the wave of energy that flowed out of her when I injected her remained just as potent.

To say that I was comforted by her company was an understatement, but, like so many things around me, it all began to take a turn for the worst as I realized what kind of situation I'd dug myself into. I enjoyed having her rely one me. I liked to be the one responsible for her well-being, making sure she ate.

It was dark, and I felt a pang of guilt well up in my stomach each time I thought of it, but I controlled her, _and I enjoyed it_. She was mine, and mine alone.

Which is why, when she began to ask about the possibility of taking her blindfold off for good, I became enraged. Though, like everything else, I hid it under a stone mask. "And what if your eyes are not ready to heal?"

"Well, I wanted to start slow. Maybe, next time I take a bath, we could light a tea candle or something, and put it in the doorway. That way, I won't look directly at the flame, but I'll be able to see how well my eyes can focus. I mean, when the blindfold is off and I open them, my eyes aren't sore any longer."

I opened my mouth to berate her, but, as all goddamned luck would have it, my collar went off. "We will continue this discussion when I return." I made my words stern.

She, despite my tone, reached out toward me, taking me by the hand. "Please be safe."

I shook her hands off mine and phased upward without another word.

I found Hojo as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Glad to see you're still alive, Number One," he commented sarcastically as I entered.

"Such a pity I can't take my own life," I spat back.

Hojo glared. "Indeed you cannot. Glad you remember the first command I gave you after I affixed that collar to your neck. Stand on the scale- I wish to check you. It's been far too long since last I examined you."

After taking my blood, Hojo handed me a file.

My heart sunk. Within the next week, I would take another life.

Hojo cleared his throat. I knew what was coming next. "The man in this folder is much like the girl I had you dispose of. He will likely know where you are when you enter his dwelling, but it cannot be avoided. He has no means to fight back, as his powers are only in perception. The following are commands: You will kill Aiden Tennings. You will be seen by no other human being and, if you are, you will end them. You will attempt to complete your task by the weeks end, and will do everything in your power to ensure it is finished. If, for whatever reason you are unable to complete your task, you will promptly return here to face the consequences."

Sudden nausea distorted my vision, made the world around me blur. I grabbed the corner of the exam table to steady myself.

When my vision returned, Hojo was gone. I phased downward, and scooped Aerith off the couch the moment I became solid again. "I must leave."

"Are you... Are you going to kill someone?"

"Do you think I have a choice?" I found my voice rising. "You think I like taking orders from Hojo like some kind of animal?"

"I didn't mean it like that." She pressed her face against the side of my neck as I untangled her bed covers. I laid her down and let her bring the covers up over herself. I had little time left; I took what I could from the pantry and cupboard - crackers, bottled water, bread - and placed it at the foot of the bed. "I will not be gone long."

"Wait! I-" she swallowed hard, obviously uncomfortable. "Good luck is the wrong thing to say in this situation. I just want you to come back safe, alright?"

"You've little to worry about."

"I know; fear and worry accomplish nothing. But if you end up not coming back, what will happen to me?"

I sighed, feeling defeated. "I will return. There is little on this planet that could drag me back to the Lifestream."

A day and a half later, I was outside of Rocket Town, feeling more tired than I'd been in a long while. It was the middle of the night, and Aiden's home the last on a road that was lined with new houses. I had little choice; I would kill him, and be on my way as quickly as I could manage.

I phased through the wall of his study, and, just as Hojo had warned, Aiden turned toward me before I ever made a sound, let alone became visible.

"I had a feeling that after Kenna was killed, it would have only been a matter of time before they sent someone after me, too."

I phased into the visible spectrum, giving him a long, hard, appraising look. "It is nothing personal," I assured. I tried to look apologetic, but I'm sure I came off as glowering.

He was shaking, tears streaming down his face. "There really is nothing you can do? I have children. What will they do without me?"

"It is nothing I can control. If it were up to me, I'd leave you to your own devices."

"Please, at least take me out of my home. I don't want my children to-"

My blood ran cold. Two little sets of eyes peered through the doorway. "Daddy? Who are you talking to?"

Aiden looked at me, his eyes round with fear. "Please. Not my sons. Not my boys."

Masamune materialized into my hand without my having to call it. My hands shook, and I found I could no more control them than I could control the tides.

"I'm sorry. Please, if you believe anything tonight, believe that I mean not what I do." 


	3. Tumbling River

Chapter Three: Tumbling River

By the time I entered the perimeter of Midgar, my collar began to buzz. Curse Hojo. I truly wished to end his life, but at the rate things were spiraling downward I began to think he might be the end of me first. I phased into the visible spectrum in the lab moments before my two minute time limit was up.

He was waiting for me, fingers laced below his chin, elbows on his knees. A gruesome, terrible smile lit his face when he looked at me.

"He's dead." What else could this man want of me?

"And did he use any of his power? Did he give you a taste, hmm?"

I quelled the fearsome urge to simply lash out and kill him. I knew that once I did, it would be endless pain for me. Worse yet, it wasn't enough to kill me; I would merely wallow in pain until I likely died of starvation which, with my body, could end up being weeks. "He knew I was there. Little else was shared with me."

"Come now, Number One. You look like you've got something on your mind."

Damn his mocking. "I was forced to... kill two others while there."

"Two others?"

"Aiden's children."

The laugh that Hojo let out made me ill; his lack of appropriate human emotion made was near vomit enducing. Yes, I might have once been a monster that fueled the nightmares of nations, but I took little solace, or joy, in killing. To me, it had simply been something that needed doing. Now that I knew better, it shamed me. There was only one life I dreamed of taking, and he was chuckling like the mad man he was over the idea that I'd slain two little children.

"Good. Let it be a message to the others that their submission will only be met with the sweet kiss of death."

I said nothing. I stood completely still, trying to still my rising, boiling blood. Days of writhing on the floor in pain, dying of starvation, seemed like a dream, so long as I got to run Hojo through and bleed him dry before I hit the floor. I knew I wouldn't have time to kill him before the collar went to work, however. Pity. "Are we finished here?"

"Such a hurry to clean the blood off, are you? Ah, I remember when you were small, telling me how you liked the color of it."

I didn't remember, but somehow I couldn't find it in me to doubt Hojo's words. Far stranger things have occurred, so long as I am involved.

But, I had little time to dwell on my past, and I'm sure not enough sanity to truly contemplate the meaning of it all. I was a strange, terrible creature. I've come to terms with such. But at least I was putting forth effort to better myself, even if it helps so little. After all, thoughts are useless unless there is action and passion behind them.

I stood at attention while Hojo finished laughing. When whatever he found amusing was no longer so, he bade me leave him with the flick of this wrist.

The moment I materialized in the apartment, I headed for the shower. I knew I should have checked on my stolen flower first, but the idea of tiny eyes, full of fright, burned into my mind as though their image had been branded onto the back of my eyelids.

"Ghost?" she called out the moment I materialized.

I though of completely ignoring her, but felt that might frighten her, so I responded, though it wasn't kind. "I'll have to tend to you when I'm done, Aerith. I need a little time to myself."

When she didn't say anything, I closed the bathroom door, rid myself of my clothing, and stood under the shower until the water, at first hot enough to turn me a most unflattering shade of red, turned cold. My mind was still a mess, nothing but chaos as I tried to piece together my thoughts. I'd killed soldiers trained to fight. Hojo had me kill innocent people just to suit him, people like Aiden and Kenna. But never before had I knowingly taken the life of a child.

I toweled off, sitting on the lid of the toilet and trying to quell my gag reflex. Parts of me, my fingers and eyelids, were twitching, likely due to stress. I took a deep breath and tried to lose myself in thought, but it did me little good; all I could see were two little brothers, clinging to one another as I stalked toward them.

Angry, I stood, growled, and punched a hole into the concrete wall.

It didn't help, and now my wall had a crater in it.

There truly was no way for me to win, was there?

"Ghost?"

I took a deep breath. I needed to be strong, at least for her sake. Causing Aerith stress would only hinder the entire healing process, and the biggest and only 'fuck you' I could send Hojo was making sure his precious Cetra never again was forced into captivity by him.

"Yes, Aerith?" I leaned on the door frame for support.

She was quiet for a long time, as if she were weighing her words. "I... I don't feel that it's my place to ask you what's wrong, but I want you to know that, if I can, I'm willing to help."

After an entire month in such close capacity with her, yet she still had surprises for me.

"How is it that you find so much compassion to share?" I had meant to ask a question, but the tone my words fell out of my mouth with sounded far more accusing than not.

She bit her lip, not expecting me to sound so terse when I responded. "I owe you my life. The least I can do is help you gather your thoughts."

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. Little flower girl, I'm the one that stole your life away from you in the first place. I deserve none of your kindness.

But, I knew when to take a gift when it was offered.

I sat on the bed, next to her. "Hojo has me kill."

She nodded; I had her complete attention.

"I was not ready for whose life I was forced to take today."

"Were they strong, like you?"

"No, Aerith. They were little children."

Her gasp of horror did nothing to make me feel better. She brought her hands up to cover her mouth. "Hojo sent you to kill children."

"Hojo sent me to kill a man who would not submit to be a test subject. One of the stipulations when I'm given an assignment is that I'm to be seen by no other human. Before I could take Aiden's life and leave, his sons, two tiny little boys, saw me."

I was babbling, the words spilling out of me far faster than my brain could keep up. I'd never shared my secrets with another before; was this what it was always like?

"I didn't have a choice; my hand took up my sword even though I fought it. Their eyes, full of fright, are all I see when I close my own and-"

Close human contact had never before been something I sought. But, the moment Aerith reached for me, the second her arms wound around my neck, I knew that if I didn't seek her out, I would break. I grabbed fistfuls of her shirt, clinging to her like a babe, and buried my face in her neck. My entire body was shaking, and I was sucking in air as though I'd been drowning moments before.

A wave of serenity washed over me. Like sweet sunshine after a long winter, I was warmed down to my bones by it. What few happy memories I had flooded over me; my first time hearing music, being given a coloring book and crayons by one of the female lab techs for my fourth birthday, the distinct taste of apple candy.

I let every mental wall down, and was flooded with light.

And then I woke. I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep, or perhaps my emotional overload had simply caused my body and brain to shut itself off for a while, but whatever the case, when I finally stirred, I felt better than I had in years.

Curled up in my arms, fast asleep, was Aerith.

I turned my eyes to the clock, realizing that I'd had been several hours since I'd returned. I wondered how long she'd been asleep like this, curled next to me. Such a strange creature she was. I wonder if, when she found out who I was, her kindness would turn to hate and anger.

Yes, though I hated the idea of it I knew that her finding out my identity was only a matter of time. Her eyes were healing; she'd asked me about taking off her blindfold earlier. Her legs were my priority at the moment; the sooner she could walk, the sooner I could take far away. But her eyes were important, too, I suppose. I had no idea where Cloud or the rest of her friends might be, and it wouldn't be a terribly grand idea to simply dump her in whatever town I could without first making sure that Hojo couldn't scoop her back up as soon as one of his little spies found her.

As much as I truly hated to admit it, she would be safest with Cloud. He'd bested me not once but twice; in Neibelheim, and again at the crater so many years later. There was little on the planet that could strike fear into him, and I knew that he would coddle Aerith when he found she was once more among the living.

She suddenly stirred in my arms, making soft, sleepy noises, as though my thoughts had bothered her. I soothed her, shushing her like a little child, and ran my fingers up and down her back. When she was still again, I decided my body needed more rest and so I closed my eyes until the sweet lull of sleep overtook me.

I dreamed I was at sea, but not in a boat of any kind of vessel; I was simply adrift, my body gently tossed by each passing wave. The sun beat down, hot overhead, and the smell of salt filled my lungs. The water licked my legs-

I sat up, completely tossing Aerith aside. She tumbled over, obviously having been rudely awakened, and rubbed at her face. "What is it? What's going on?"

"I've an idea. I'll be back shortly." Before she could utter a word in protest I phased out and upward, though the building. Somewhere around the fiftieth floor of the tower was the employee gym, and in that gym was a gigantic swimming pool; it would be perfect for exercising her legs.

Sure enough, high up the building, a swimming pool surrounded by thick concrete walls was built into the west corner. I would have to fry the security cameras and make sure the doors were 'mysteriously' barred shut before I became visible again, but I could easily tackle both of those tasks with one hand. When I returned to the apartment, I began digging through the pile of clothes that belonged to Aerith.

"What's going on?" She had sensed me the moment I entered the room.

"A surprise," I offered.

Her face lit. "A surprise? What kind of surprise?"

"A good one." I handed her a pair of shorts and a black tank top. "Put these on. Let me know when you're finished."

It took a few minutes, and several frustrated grunts, before she told me I could come back into the room. I scooped her up in my arms, making sure she was comfortable. "Whatever you do, don't let go of me." The last thing I needed was for her to be stuck between this visible spectrum and the next, worse yet between floors of the building itself. She clung tight to me, her lips curled into a smile which, though I'm the last to admit it, warmed me and, albeit just a small bit, made my own lips curl upward as well.

When we were back on the floor with the pool, I shifted Aerith's weight so that I only needed one arm to hold her. With the other, I reached out and shorted out the circuitry of the two cameras trained on the pool. Then, becoming visible, I bent the metal locks of the doors so that if anyone wanted in, they would have to cut a hole in the wall.

"I smell chlorine," she observed.

"Indeed. I've brought you to a pool."

"A pool?"

I sat her on the edge of the water, letting her legs fall into the pool. "Yes, a pool. I thought it might help with your legs."

Aerith shifted, noticeably uncomfortable. "I don't know how to swim," she admitted openly. "Growing up in the slums, well, you never really need to know how."

"And that is why I'm here with you." I stripped off my boots and shirt, and dove right in. When I surfaced, she was laughing; I'd likely splashed her. I reached for her, gently offering my arms.

"You're sure about this?"

"It beats the hell out of rotting in that tiny little apartment, doesn't it?."

Another laugh. "Yeah, I guess so. But aren't you scared we might be found? I mean, just where are we?"

"High in the Shinra HQ building, in the employee gym. It's the middle of the night, so it's highly unlikely that someone will even think to come in, as most of the employees have left for the night, but just to be safe I shorted the cameras and bolted the door. There is nothing for you to worry over."

She sighed, bolstering up her courage. "Don't let me go." She eased herself into the water and clung to me as soon as she was off the concrete edge of the pool.

"Move your legs as much as you can. This is as much for therapy as it is for pleasure."

"I'm trying. It's a different sensation, being submerged in water."

"I wish there was more I could do to help your legs heal, but what knowledge I have is limited."

Still clinging to me, she began to slowly kick her legs out behind her. "I'm thankful for all that you've done for me. Don't feel like you have anything to apologize for."

We fell into a comfortable silence thereafter, simply content to float about in the pool. When she voiced her concern about 'turning into a prune' I phased us downward, and ran her a bath. I made sure she put lotion on her skin when she was finished, as chlorine had the tendency to cause dry skin. If she wasn't used to it, it might end up in a rash, too, and an oatmeal based lotion would soothe any irritation that sprouted.

"I'm so achy" she moaned when I taking her out of the bathroom. "Will you read to me until I fall asleep?"

Falling asleep with others around me had never been easy. I'd been a bit paranoid, even when I was small, and with good reason; Hojo often like to observe me while I slept, which was unnerving enough. The last thing I had wanted was for him to poke at me while I was allowed my only escape in dreamland.

I picked up the novel I'd been reading to her earlier in the week, before I'd been summoned on my latest mission, and began right where we'd left off. She relaxed, leaned against my shoulder, and not long thereafter was she asleep again. She was like a cat; able to simply stretch out and sleep nearly anywhere.

I leaned my head against hers and sighed. Soon, she would no longer be mine. I would be alone, and she would have the freedom I could only dream of. Strange to think that one could be both happy and angry at the same time, but I found that I could feel no other way when I thought of it. I enjoyed her company, and yet I knew that our arrangement could never last.

To bed I took her, making sure she was comfortably wrapped in the sheets before I began to wander the halls of the building. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I needed a little time to myself, alone and in the dark. So many years of being alone made me somewhat enjoy my solitude, no matter how I enjoyed being around the girl. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

Eventually, I returned with another bag of rice that had been left behind, a thick sweater that might fit Aerith, and another few books. When I entered the apartment, the music had been turned on. I left the rice and books on the kitchen counter, and went to give Aerith the sweater, but I stopped in the doorway. Though she was holding her arms behind her knees, her legs were up in the air, swinging, albeit clumsily, with the music. The look on her face was that of pure concentration, and her cheeks were flushed a very pretty shade of pink from all of her effort.

"I think you'll be walking soon," I nearly laughed, elated at the progress she was making, even by herself.

She jumped, and I knew that while she could normally sense me, she must have been focusing completely on her legs. With a hand over her heart, she let out a little laugh. "I didn't know you'd come back."

"Just out for a bit. I found more rice, some new books, and I found a sweater that might fit you."

Her smiles were always so bright, as though the thought of faking them never crossed her mind. "Can I ask your opinion on something?"

I sat on the bed next to her. "So long as it's not completely intrusive, I don't see why not."

"When do you think I'll be able to take my blindfold off?"

I stilled, and I knew she sensed it. She instantly tried to apologize. "It's just that I feel so useless; if I had my sight back, I could help you cook and clean, and I wouldn't feel as though I'm such a burden."

There was no excuse I could think of that would work on her, so I simply thought to push it aside. "You can function without your sight well enough; you seem to know when I'm here and when I'm not. But your legs are my biggest concern, Aerith. If you can't walk, if you can't run, you can't be free of this place. I've little doubt in my mind that once you've left this place, Hojo will find you again. Who, however, you keep company with will prevent him from taking you. You need your legs to find your friends."

She sighed. "But I need to be able to see where I'm going, and, if the need arises, who I should run from."

I ran a hand through my hair, sighing. "One more week with the blindfold."

She nodded, suddenly excited, thinking she'd won the argument. I had no faith that she could walk by then, so it wasn't as though I could free her before she ever got the chance to look at me. I was merely delaying the inevitable.

It was a long week. We pushed her legs harder every day, being sure to take breaks to make sure she didn't get stick from stress and effort. She taught me how to cook food I wasn't previously familiar with, and was endlessly patient with me when I, on several occasions, ended up burning what we had and ruining our meals.

I was reading to her, a new book that she said she'd read when she was younger and was one of her favorites, when Hojo buzzed me up to Hell. It's what I'd taken to calling the labs, as, honestly, there were few other descriptors that fit quite so well. Thankfully, Hojo didn't send me on another murderous escapade; he merely was checking my blood and vitals.

He hemmed and hawed over my chart, as usual, though, strangely, watched me closely when he directed me to run on the treadmill.

"Is there something wrong with me that I should know about?" I had the gall to finally ask him.

Hojo studied me for a moment, gathering his words. "You seem more lively than usual. Normally, you're all tooth and nail, clawing and biting at me. Recently, it's like you've become more passive."

I knew, right away, that it was because of Aerith. She tested my patience in ways I never before thought were possible, and I had no other choice than to still my anger and be pleasant with her. Were I to become angry, after all, it would induce unwanted stress that would hinder her healing.

"Perhaps I've merely come to terms with the fact that I will never escape." I forced my voice to stay monotone as I continued running.

"Stubborn and pig-headedness are your strong suits, number one. I doubt that you've resolved yourself quite yet. You will, of course. But so soon?" He scribbled more notes on his clipboard and continued to watch intently as I ran.

I was gifted another box of food when Hojo decided I had run enough. Fish and grains, bread and vegetables; nothing out of the ordinary. I phased downward, wishing nothing more than to continue reading with the girl. I was met with a rude surprise.

She sat in the middle of the floor, back to me, hair down, blindfold in hand. "Ghost?" she called out. When she turned, panic welled up inside of me.

Without thinking, I reached out with my will and broke all of the light bulbs in the apartment. It would be hell to replace them, but in my panic I simply did not care. She couldn't see my face, couldn't know who I was; not yet. How would I keep her, when she was wild with fear? Was she not willed enough to let her hate of me ruin her before she could be free again, or was she truly that much stronger than I?

In the darkness, I heard her sigh. "Come now. No more games."

She knew. Of course she knew. How could she not? Was I truly so foolish to think her ignorant? "How long have you known?"

"For a while. I admit at first I had my doubts, but... There's no one else on the planet that gives off the aura that you do. After you refused to tell me your name, I knew it was you."

All the while I had been under the impression that she hadn't the slightest idea as to who I was, and yet she sat, right before me, in the dark, practically chiding me for attempting to hide my identity. "You've shown no indication that you've known." Perhaps a small part of me was bitter that it had come about this way, that I had thought I could fool her from the beginning.

"Like I said, I pieced it together when you wouldn't tell me your name. But, at that point, you'd offered me kindness and saved me from a terrible fate. At first, I wanted to be angry. The things you've done haven't been made right with your saving me. But, it was a step in the right direction, and I thought you deserved a little kindness in return."

I was glad she couldn't see me, because my mouth was agape. Such a silly little girl, with silly notions of kindness and goodness. "I saved you because I hate Hojo."

"Yes, I'm sure you did. But you've continued to help me because you're not the same man who ran me through."

"And what do you know of me, flower girl? I burned an entire city on a whim. I've killed more people than you've managed to meet in your entire lifetime."

"And yet you cried in my arms when you were forced to kill children."

For a moment, I almost thought I'd gone mad again. The anger and frustration that welled up inside of me was terrible, but I was able to catch myself before I made a move I would later regret. She was right, and no amount of anger or violence could make her wrong. Nor would it make me feel better.

"I'll replace the light bulbs," I signed, resigned. What was the use? She'd known who I was since nearly the beginning. And here I was, worried I would frighten her into retreat. So full of surprises, both good and frustrating.

I replaced them all, slowly turning the bulbs on one by one. "You've been conditioning your eyes while I've been away, haven't you?" I made it a point to keep my back to her.

"I'm sorry. I might have been convinced it was you, but I still wanted to know for sure."

I made a sound of affirmation as I finished with the bulbs. Then, when I was finished and had little else to do, I crossed my arms. My back was still toward her. "To be honest," I openly admitted, "I was hoping this point would never come."

"You wanted to keep me in the dark forever?"

"No. I planned to simply let you think I was some kind of white knight; I thought you'd be afraid of me."

"Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?"

I turned on her then, the flames of anger rising once again within me. "A cold hearted monster with ice in his veins runs the little flower girl clean through as she prays with all of her heart to keep the madman from winning the world. The last memories of your previous life were my greatest victory over Cloud."

She tilted her head and met my eyes. They were there color of emeralds. "It was your biggest mistake. Killing me was what made you lose."

I raised an eyebrow, silently asking her to continue her thought.

"It was only because my life was taken that holy came forth. It needed a pure sacrifice. I knew you were there in Cloud's dream as I told him goodbye for the last time, and again in the City of the Ancients. I lured you there, stood on the alter, and waited for you to take my life."

All this time I had thought her life had been stolen by me, when in actuality she knew the only way to save the planet was to let me kill her, let me think it was my own will that had brought me to do it.

"Is there no end to the ways I can be manipulated?"

She looked up at me, offering no apology. I would receive none, either; it was all her fault, and yet not at all. Yet still, she gave me her kindness. "I didn't mean to use you, but if it wasn't for you we wouldn't have made it there in the first place. There's little use in telling you I didn't mean to, because I did."

"Does the world really mean so much to you?" At first, I hadn't meant to make my tone sound so accusing and frightful, but by the time the words had left my lips, they were dripping with malice.

"Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. Shinra stole from me everything I'd ever hoped for; my parents, a peaceful life, my happiness. The planet, and the voices of the lifestream, were all I had. I wasn't going to sit by at let someone steal from me the most precious thing in my life, even if it took everything else from me."

I glared down at her. "You shouldn't have chased after me. You should have aimed your efforts at Shinra; they are the ones who still seek to suck the planet dry."

Aerith sighed, looking down at her hands. "Shinra is slowly killing the planet. You were going to take everything away and remake it to suit you. The planet wasn't going to be the planet any longer. Shinra, too, is killing it - I'm not contesting that. But they are slowly bleeding it dry, whereas you were as a gunshot wound, unable to heal. Once I leave, I plan on doing whatever I can to stop them again."

"So noble," I mocked. "Give up one life, give up another. It's all the same, isn't it? You're a mere tool, just as I am."

She smiled, sadly, looking up at me while she shook her head. "If I'm a tool, it's because I choose to be, it's because I so want the world to be a better place that I would gladly lay my life on the line for a second time if that's what it takes."

I sat on the floor in front of her, feeling exhausted. She met my stare, the entire time, curious as to what I would do next. "If it's of any consequence," she mused, as if it truly weren't of any, "the man that killed me is not the man that's sitting in front of me."

I rubbed my eyes with my fingers. What was I meant to say to that? She knew little of me before, and even less now, yet I knew her words rang true.

"What happens now?" she asked, after I didn't look up.

"We continue on, as if nothing happened. Once your legs heal, I will dump you with Cloud and you won't be my problem any longer." She wasn't my problem, and I'd become too accustomed to her company to want to let her go, but I was growing too complacent around her, and being soft never won me anything. She looked hurt by my words, but it was for the best.

To say we continued on without problems would be generous. I hadn't realized I had taken a fondness to staring at her until she could stare back. Without the blindfold, she wore her hair down. It was the color of chestnuts, of caramel streaked with honey; her hair reminded me of my own, and I began to wonder if she liked to have it brushed. I'd brushed it once for her, and had liked the feel, how it was so like, yet unlike, my own. That was something women did with one another, correct? Brush each others hair? It seemed right, but having little interaction with women in the first place, realized I knew little to nothing about the fairer sex.

We were making do. I was used to people cowering at my stare, but it was as if Aerith couldn't be budged. Here bright eyes were always set with determination, but lined by kindness. Her will, far stronger than mine I knew, was not something to be trifled with, and I began to fully understand why I'd lost to her. I had yet to see her become angry however, and, as terribly fucked up as it was, began to fantasize about her becoming so vexed she might raise her voice or snap at me. Unhealthy, I knew, but considering all those who had a hand in my development had yelled at me at some point, it was little wonder I thought of it.

She was a good cook, and flourished with the simple ingredients we had. She still couldn't walk - couldn't even stand, despite her hard work - so I set her on one of the kitchen stools and wheeled her around. She laughed easily and often, and when her happiness reached her eyes and she looked at me, it was infections. Two months into our confinement, and I was smiling, though just the corners of my moth; a human trait I'd long since thought lost in me.

"When do you think I will walk again?" She asked over a meal, suddenly.

I put my fork down and wiped my lips on my napkin, then tossed it on the table. Standing, I faced Aerith's chair toward me and held out my hands. "Come," I instructed.

When all I was awarded with was a confused look, I scooped her arms up in mine, pulling her up and out of the chair. Her body pressed against mine, I let her feet and legs dangle. "Try to put your feet on top of mine," I guided, keeping my voice calm. The last thing I needed was to cause her anxiety.

Once she realized I was walking with her feet on top of mine, like a toddler, she laughed. I could feel it erupt within, and shake right down; it was hard not to, with her pressed up so close against me. I was quite a bit taller than she, which made walking with her slightly difficult, but so long as I had my hand around her waist and my chest pressed carefully against her back, she couldn't fall.

"You're becoming stronger," I complimented as we walked around the kitchen table for a fourth time. "I'm no medical professional, but it's obvious that you've made significant progress. You can sit up easily enough, and you can move your legs- it seems that range of motion and muscle mass is what you're lacking."

"Do we have weights that we could attach to my feet or something?"

"I would suggest we work on range of motion a first. That will build the beginnings of what muscles you need to do heavier things, like move your legs with added weight." She let me know when she was becoming tired, and I walked her to the couch and helped her sit. I took one of her feet off the floor and let her ankle rest on my shoulder. "Flex your leg so that your knee moves as far down as you can manage, then bring it back upward."

She bit her lip as she did it, but she managed several reps before letting out a held breath. We did the same exercises with her other leg, and by the end, though her face was slightly red from exertion, she was smiling. "I appreciate all your help, you know."

I raised my eyebrows and gave a little nod. I was glad she liked the help, but there was little else I could do. Well, I suppose I could have just left her to rot, but where is the fun of tormenting Hojo with that? Perhaps a little, but not enough.

We did several other exercises before a thin layer of sweat broke on her forehead. She asked me to run her a bath, and I happily obliged. It was slightly awkward to help her get in, considering I had to remind myself several times not to stare openly at her, but either the already pink tone her cheeks had taken on while working out had worked well to cover any blush that might have crept across her face, or she had spent so long in my company and was accustomed to my touch enough that it simply didn't bother her.

As I closed the door behind me and heard her sink into the warm bath, I didn't know which I hoped for more.


	4. Raging Sea

Chapter Four: Raging Sea

Another month and a half and she was walking, albeit by holding onto me in a death-grip and only in about five feet bursts. She insisted on trying to walk everywhere, which was amusing as it showed how determined and stubborn she was considering it took us eight times longer to go from the bedroom to the kitchen. But amusing as it could be, it was in equal measures frustrating, at least on her part, because despite the fact that she was so hell-bent on doing all she could for herself, she still had to rely on me for nearly everything.

Despite being able to see, however, she still asked me to read to her. She asked me, roughly a week after her blindfold had come off, in such a sheepish tone that I found I couldn't resist her. I was pleased that she didn't try to avoid my company, even though she knew who I was, and we sat just as we had when she couldn't see, with her head resting on my arm, or my knee if she preferred to lay down.

She took my bed, and I took the couch, though she tried, several times, to apologize for essentially kicking me out of it. To be honest, I was flabbergasted at how she acted toward me. No malice, no hate; she smiled in my presence, took my hand without flinching, and talked to me as though I was a fellow human being and not the same monster who had run her through. I began to wonder if it were at all possible that she simply wasn't capable of holding grudges.

It was strange that I still found myself so drawn to her. I wasn't the type of being to seek human contact, but it was as though she could sense when I needed something that didn't quite fit into words, not that I would ever try to. The great general, the scourge of Wutai, near-conqueror of the planet, liked to be snuggled against, and so help me if word got out about it, heads would roll. No, not roll; they would fly. Possibly explode. She leaned against me when we read, sought my hand to squeeze when I helped her exercise her legs, and didn't over-think when our hands or bodies touched when we helped one another in the kitchen, and I was beginning to rely on the contact; she made me feel human, and distanced me from the monster within.

But it was only when Hojo called me for another assassination that I cared to notice how I missed her touch, coincidentally. My collar buzzed in the middle of the first chapter of a new book we'd just begun to read together - or, rather, I to her - and I sighed heavily, pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger, and moved to get up.

Aerith reached out and squeezed my wrist for reassurance, giving me a soft, but sadly knowing, smile.

I appeared outside the labs when I was sure no one else was around, and strode in with heavy footsteps, trying to make it look like the lab was the last place I wanted to be. It was, but that was besides the point; I had to keep my demeanor under constant control. I was quite sure that if Hojo ever saw me smile for something other than bloodshed, his brain would burst right out of his skull. The thought was a nice idea, but not quite so practical; I had to make sure I kept Aerith safe.

He looked irate and disheveled, which was how I came to always think of him. I've seen him happy a handful of times within my life, and for no other reason than his mad science. I'm convinced that he scowls when he sleeps, too. But this time his brow was covered with a thin layer of sweat and under his scowl I could see anger gleaming behind his beady little eyes.

I was given no greeting - not that I entirely expected, or would appreciate one - and was instructed to sit on one of the exam tables. "Number One," Hojo began, cleaning my skin in preparation for a blood draw, "I hear that a while ago, someone busted out the security cameras and welded the door shut from the inside of the swimming pool on one of the higher floors."

"Didn't weld it," I corrected. "Merely fused the lock shut."

He stopped, needle in hand, and a blank look crossed his face for the barest of moments. He hadn't been expecting such an answer; I'd surprised him.

"I'm going mad, being hidden so far underground. I needed to stretch my legs. I had a dream about the ocean, and decided swimming was a good option." It was the truth. Well, part of it, anyway.

Hojo plunged the needle in my arm and began to draw a blood sample without saying anything. I knew he wanted to scold me, but considering it had nearly been two entire weeks since he'd last called me to the lab, he didn't have room to argue. Even when I'd essentially been under his command in my previous life, I always had the ability to come and go as I pleased. If I needed fresh air, I simply left. I always came back. After all, I had no where else to go. But now that I was being forced to stay in one place, with no hope of seeing the open sky on a whim- well, to put it bluntly, it was a damn miracle I hadn't gone stir-crazy. The only thing that was keeping me in one place - obedient as a well trained animal, though a million times more ferocious - was the thin strip of metals, microchips, and materia around my neck.

And he knew it, too. The thought of keeping me caged, belonging only to him, delighted him, but I knew the fact that he had to keep me hidden was killing him. Despite being a huge disappointment, I was his greatest creation; the fact that he couldn't flaunt me in public irritated him to no end. It was obvious in his mood swings when he came to take my blood or observe me.

He looked over his charts when he was finished. "I've another mission for you."

I sighed, but otherwise stayed mute. It wasn't as though I could argue with him. He handed me a folder, and I began to leaf through it. A young man this time, hardly turned nineteen. In his picture, he was smiling.

"The following are commands: You will kill Reil Larue. You will be seen by no other human being and, if you are, you will end them. You will attempt to complete your task by the week's end, and will do everything in your power to ensure it is finished. If, for whatever reason you are unable to complete your task, you will promptly return here to face the consequences. You will not try to escape or evade your duties."

I fell to my knees, sick to the point I felt like vomiting. I clutched the lab table to keep myself from toppling over and when I came to and, like I was so used to, found myself suddenly alone in the lab.

I phased down tot he apartment, though I managed to startle Aerith nearly out of her skin when I materialized right in front of her. She jumped and clutched her hands in front of her heart, sighing and rolling her eyes when she realized it was merely me. Once she'd settled, she turned her head to one side and looked up at me, pity written across her face. "Are you going to..."

Nodding, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn't want to speak, and I was glad Aerith and I had some kind of strange understanding where I honestly didn't have to open my mouth for her to comprehend my heart. She would never know what I was going through, what I was being forced to do, but she flooded me with kindness and sympathy all the same. I truly understood why Cloud had kept her so close, and mourned her when she passed.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?"

Meeting her eyes, I shrugged and shook my head.

"It sounds wrong to say it, I suppose, but... please hurry back. I'll be lost without you."

I looked at her, trying to find fitting words. When I found none, I walked to the bedroom and changed into my old Soldier uniform. When I re-entered the living area, Aerith's face went white. Ah, so the brave face is not always a perfect mask. I knew she didn't fear me, but somewhere in the back of her mind she was dredging up memories - painful, fearful memories - and I found myself guilty over making her shudder and flinch in my presence.

"I will hurry, if only for your sake."

She nodded, then looked away. Whether she was disgusted by me or not made little difference; I had no choice but to do as Hojo commanded.

Reil resided in Junon, hardly a ten minute walk from Kenna, the young woman whose life I'd taken roughly three months before, right after I'd freed Aerith from Hojo's grasp. I reached the outskirts of town within a day, though I pushed myself too hard; I'd be sore after I slept, but I needed to get back, get away, go home to Aerith. Dread welled up in me; I don't think my mind could take killing another youngling. Reil's file had stated that he was hardly nineteen; he was still very much a child in the eyes of the world, more-so in the eyes of a warrior who had seen too much death.

Just like Kenna, Reil was seated on his couch, his back turned to the screen door that I phased through. Unlike my previous victims, however, Reil was a teary mess. He had in his hands a great stuffed bear, whose ears were wet with tears. When I phased into the visible spectrum, Reil started to sob harder.

"Please don't," he wailed. "Please, just let me go. I'll go into hiding, I'll make every think you killed me. First Kenna, and then Aiden. Please, just let me go."

I circled the couch, trying my best to look non-threatening. I shook my head and pointed to the collar around my neck. "It's not up to me. I don't want to kill you. Please believe me when I tell you such. But, no matter how I fight it, my hands will do what my will lacks the power to stop."

"They send a war hero to kill an innocent man?"

I shook my head and I knelt down in front of him, placing my hand on his knee. "I'm not a war hero, Reil. I'm a monster. I've always been a monster."

I did something that, though it felt strange, I knew I would regret if I didn't. I took Reil up in my arms and held him against me. "If there is anything you leave this world understanding, let it be this; even though I've never met you, and I know nothing about you, I will miss you. I'm so sorry."

He shook his head and cried into my shoulder.

I took the hunting knife from my boot and slit his throat. I felt the life leave his body, could sense his spirit dwindling before it dissipated to rejoin the lifestream. His blood was hot and sticky as it flooded over my hands and down my chest and arms.

I was dead inside. I was numb. I don't know how long it took me to return to Midgar, back to Hojo, back to my cage, but I eventually found myself, crusted in blood and sweat, in the labs, having my blood drawn and my vitals monitored. Hojo spoke to me, but if he asked me a question directly I didn't hear it. When he roughly took my chin in his hands to force me to look at him, something in me snapped and I reached out and took his scrawny neck in my grasp and began to squeeze.

No matter how swift I was, however, the collar reacted more quickly. As soon as I'd closed my fingers around Hojo's neck, I was shocked with enough volts to easily incapacitate a behemoth. I watched from the floor, squirming and twitching from pain that seemed almost far away, as Hojo coughed and sputtered and scuttled away from me. Several of his lackeys surrounded him, but he pushed them away as he all but ran from the labs. Looks were shot my way, some angry and some terrified. The ones that showed fear were the intelligent ones; they knew, as Hojo had just found out, that the only reason any of them still breathed was because of the collar around my neck, and the materia embedded within.

Once I was alone, I sank through the floor, only bothering to put my feet first as I slid through concrete and paint.

She was waiting for me, as I knew she would be. An older book was in her hands, one that I'd already read to her weeks before, but she tossed it aside the moment my feet landed and I became visible. Her face was wrought with worry, but I felt so far away in my own body that, for a moment, I couldn't understand why she was fretting so. She was at my feet, and I had to force myself to remember that she hadn't fallen; she merely wasn't capable of walking on her own yet. I was helping her, but the idea felt strange.

"-so much blood, and I-"

She was speaking, but it might as have been in another language for all that I was able to take in and understand.

Was I having some sort of out of body experience, or had I truly lost my mind? I thought that I had been crazy before, but I realized that I had been angry and lonely. What I was feeling was true madness.

But one small fact that whispered quietly at the back of my brain kept repeating itself over and over until it became a shout and I knew why I'd come back; 'It's all for her.'

I looked down at the Cetra that was clutching my pant legs, her mouth moving a mile a minute. I bent down and placed a single finger to her lips to quiet her, and then wiped the dried blood that had fallen from my coat and onto her face.

"I came back for you." It almost sounded like a threat, but there was no emotion - nothing - behind my voice. I strode past her and into the bathroom, not even bothering to take off my clothing until it was already soaked through from the shower. When the water no longer ran hot, and I felt at least some of my sanity - if one can even call it that - return, I opened the door.

Aerith had crawled from the living room and had situated herself outside of the bathroom door. When I looked down at her, she met my gaze.

True concern lit her face, and I felt myself beginning to slip away again. Of all the people to care for me, why did it have to be her? She had been both my greatest victory, and my near-complete demise, and yet she sat before me, eyes red from tears spilt on my behalf, acting as though I was her friend, her companion.

She was all I had. I pulled myself together for her sake, and nothing else. "I apologize," I offered, my voice hoarse.

She lifted her arms toward me, and I knelt down to pick her up. When I was low enough, I realized that she hadn't stretched her arms out asking to be picked up like I had anticipated, rather, she looped her arms around my neck and clung to me. Her sobs were soft, like she was trying with all of her might to keep them in. "I felt you break. I don't know how - you must have been halfway across Gaia - but I felt you break and I was so scared you wouldn't come back."

There were no words I could summon to make the situation better, so I kept my mouth shut. I gained a little better footing, shifted slightly, and picked her up, moving he to the bedroom. It was likely she'd been sleeping on the couch in my absence, as it was low enough to the ground I felt confident that she could have pulled herself up. It might have been a struggle, but I believed in her. I sat her on the chocobo comforter, but when I tried to moved to try and dislodge her arms, she clung to me and shuddered.

And then, the strangest thing happened. I was flooded with warmth and memories, neither of them my own; a crayon-drawing of a flower that had made it to the fridge with a gold star; apple blossoms that had never before bloomed; a dark-haired young man with a genuine smile that made my heart beat faster; two women, sitting on either side of me, eating cookies and watching something on the television; strong hands and the faint smell of apples.

When I came to, Aerith was asleep beneath me. I relaxed and took a deep breath. And then, realizing that I was sane enough to actually relax and breathe, I relaxed even further. I'd been so out of my mind that I'd nearly gone completely wild. The little flower girl had saved me.

"Wake up," I prodded gently, not moving from on top of her. "Aerith, wake up."

She stretched out beneath me, looking tired. "Are you doing better?"

"What did you do to me?"

She rubbed her eyes, yawning. "You wouldn't let me in your mind - I've never seen such thick mental walls before - so I had to force myself in. I couldn't extract the bad thoughts, so I had to share my best ones with you."

"You knew Zack."

Nodding, she let her eyes closed as she eased her head into a more comfortable position. "I met you once before, actually; before I'd joined up with Cloud. I dated Zack, when you were still in Soldier. You interrupted us when we were on a date. It was one of the first times I'd been on the plate, and out to a fancy restaurant. You'd said you'd been hunting him all night, since he'd turned off his phone to be with me."

"I... I'm sorry."

Aerith laughed from under me. "It's okay. I'm pretty sure he thought he was going to get some that night, so your apologies are aimed at the wrong person. I was too surprised and intimidated to say anything to you at the time, but I remember you being very polite."

I knew exactly what instance she was talking about, and kicked myself mentally for not realizing that was why she looked so familiar when I later saw her with Cloud. I may forget names, but I'm decent with faces. I trained many Soldiers in my day, and could recall the rank and face of nearly each and every one, even if I only recalled the names of those who went above and beyond, not to impress me but to simply be their best.

When she shuddered under me, I came to realize how pale she looked. "Are you alright?"

She shook her head. "I feel sick. Really sick. Like 'I'm going to puke all over the bed and not really care' sick."

I moved away from her, instantly missing how warm she was. "It's been a long time since your last Mako injection."

She squirmed, and I realized she was trying her best to throw a fit. "I hate those. It's a sensory overload, times a million."

"If it makes you feel better in the long run, isn't it worth it?"

Groaning, she theatrically threw an arm over her eyes and wiggled even more.

"I'll go get it for you." There was no argument to be had; she knew she needed one, especially given what had passed between us a short while ago. When I returned to the room, she sighed. "I don't mean to pry," I offered, "but one of your shared memories is of you and two other women eating sweets and watching TV."

Aerith sat up, stretched her neck a bit, then looked at me and shrugged. "Tifa, Yuffie and I had 'girls night' whenever we could. The rest of the time we were dead serious about what we were doing, chasing you all over the planet, but when we slept at a nice inn, we took an entire room to ourselves and just vented and talked and ate cake and cookies until we felt sick. It was a stupid escape, but it was the best we could do, and what kept us from ripping one another's throats out at times. I love Yuffie, but that girl has such a mouth on her..."

When I felt she was capable of taking care of herself, I would leave her with Cloud and the others. She would get to see her friends again, and I wouldn't have to see such a sad face when she thought of happy memories.

"Well," she held her arm out to me. "Let's get this over with."

I injected her, as careful and as gentle as I could, and left the room quickly and quietly. I leaned against the door, however, and took a deep breath as a wave of warmth cascaded past. I could hear her gasping for air on the other side, could picture her in my mind as her back arched and her eyes rolled. I shuddered, not completely able to understand why.

I phased through the floor; there was something that I needed to attend to. Aerith would be fine on her own for a while longer. I stood in what I felt was the middle of the one of the lowest floors of the complex. Complete darkness surrounded me, and I relaxed into it. Darkness was, after all, my element. Taking a deep breath, I retreated deep inside of myself, searching for the strength to attempt to do what I'd set my mind to. Reaching out with all of my strength, I willed the concrete away from the non-supportive walls that once separated rooms and molded it using nothing but my will.

By the time I was finished, five stone statues stood in front of me, one for each of them; Kenna, Reil, Aiden, and his two little children. I meant what I'd said to Reil; I would miss him, without knowing him. I would miss them all because despite knowing nothing of them, they were the ones who were slowly beginning to change me.

I knelt in front of them, and though I knew that none of them would ever hear mortal words spoken again, I offered up an apology that came from deep within me. "I'm sorry."

When I made it back to the apartment, Aerith had pulled herself out of the bedroom and down the hall. She was sitting up and actually using her legs to help push her, but the sweat on her forehead betrayed how hard she was actually struggling. I picked her up with ease, and maneuvered her so that she had her knees curled sideways against my chest, and was essentially sitting on my arm. She braced herself with her hands on my chest and shoulders, and had to look down just slightly to make eye contact with me. "Where is it you wish to go?"

She sighed, and I realized that she hadn't really been trying to go anywhere specific. "I just wanted to come out of the bedroom, and see if you were out here. I always feel so fuzzy after those injections."

I nodded in understanding, then turned and walked toward the kitchen. She might not realize it yet, but I had a feeling that she would be hungry. I set her upon the wheeled chair and scooted her about for a bit, the both of us glancing over what we had in the cupboards to see if it suited our tastes. There wasn't much to eat, to be honest, but if it ever bothered her, she never said a word of it to me.

She was rinsing the rice for us, swirling and flipping it in the strainer under the faucet until the water ran clear through it. I set water to boil for the vegetables, and we worked in comfortable silence.

"Hey," she called out, once the rice was cooking. I turned to her, intrigued by her smile. "Watch this." She put her feet on the ground, then pushed off, effectively scooting herself backward. "I'm getting stronger," she beamed.

I smiled lightly down at her. "That's good."

It was. And, at the same time, it wasn't. The faster she healed, the faster she would be away from me, out of my life. The faster I would come to see her for the last time for the rest of my miserable, pathetic existence.

At first, I'd through our relationship had been about control; I had been under complete control, and as a result craved something I could control on my own. I had stolen her from Hojo in rebellion, had kept her to sedate my own sadistic needs to lord over something - someone, anything - and ended up wishing that I didn't have to let her go on the basis that it wasn't she who needed me, it was I who needed her.

"Are you alright?" She had scooted all the way across the kitchen and was looking up at me. One of her hands had grabbed onto my pants, and concern was written clearly across her features.

I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair. "Just lost in thought."

"What about?" She tiled her head up at me, curious.

Stupid little thing; why did you have to make me _feel_? "About all of the places I wish I could go."

Aerith smiled. "Have you ever been to Costa del Sol?"

"Only in passing."

She dropped her hand that had held onto me, then rubbed at her eyes, yawning. "It's where I would like to visit again. I only got to go once, but it's such a beautiful place. So warm and sunny. I grew up in the slums of Midgar, so, as silly as it sounds, seeing the sun was a real, actual treat. I want to go to Cosmo Canyon, too."

"What of... your friends?" I'd meant to say Cloud, but the word caught in my throat. I didn't like the idea of him in her company any longer. I knew he was the only one skilled enough to protect her, but he still made my blood boil.

Her face fell, one of the few times I've witnessed sadness wash over her nearly completely. "I... I don't know if I'm fit to fall back into their lives."

"What makes you say that?" I was honestly curious.

She shook her head, not meeting my eyes. "They've all been able to make their lives their own. It wouldn't feel right, me just falling back in their worlds."

"And what happens when you're finally free of this prison? What if Hojo gets wind that you're off, on your own, unprotected?"

"It will be you who he sends after me, won't it?"

I paused. "It's most likely."

She sighed. "Well, didn't you mention that Hojo had ordered you not to hurt me? Taking me back to the labs would be throwing me before potential hard. What would happen if Hojo gave you a new order like that? Would it override the previous one?"

I shrugged. "I can't honestly say, as the occasion has never arisen. I try not to think of it."

The rice cooker beeped, signaling that it was finished. I let it cool for a moment, then fluffed it. We ate in silence, and while I was curious as to know what she was thinking, I felt it wasn't my place to ask.

Three more weeks passed and she was walking - hobbling is what I suppose would be the correct term for it - on her own, albeit aided by walls and counter tops, or couches and tables. We were eating the last of the tangerines - a real treat, considering - when Hojo summoned me. Aerith touched my hand before I left, offering up another sad, but knowing, smile.

It would be difficult to explain the amount of relief I felt when Hojo divulged that he merely wanted to observe me today. Once I knew that there was no assassination in store for me, I found I could breath a little better.

I was directed to the treadmill, and told not to run, but merely to jog. Hojo, as he always did, scribbled notes on his clipboard as he watched the computers connected to the diodes in my collar report my heart rate and breathing levels.

"Have you been eating enough?" He questioned, without bothering to look up.

"I'm eating the food you give me." A veiled answer, but suitable none the less. Truthful, but hiding a secret he would never know.

"You've lost weight. Not much, but enough to be noticeable."

"I'm forced to be honest with you, aren't I? It's not a matter of food consumption levels, it's an issue of combating stress levels, along with severe depression. I'm a beast in a cage, Hojo- forced to perform when the ringleader tips his hat and cracks his whip. The only reason I've made it this far without giving up is my sheer force of will. The fact that I hate every inch of you is what is keeping me from completely giving in to you. Yet, each life you force me to take eats away at what little sanity I have left."

It was the truth, whole and simple.

Hojo stood there, looking at me from under his greasy hair, as if I held all of his attention, as if I'd said something truly shocking. The amount of doctorates that followed his name was more than most men can recite, yet he gazed upon me as if I'd just made some new discovery.

"Come now," I sighed as I continued my jog. "I know you're an accredited psychotherapist, alongside your therapy and sociology degrees. This can't come as any great surprise."

He continued to say nothing, but, thankfully, returned his gaze to his paperwork.

His reaction hadn't surprised me. It was only recently that I'd come to terms with the fact that he truly never saw me as anything other than his creation. The fact that I have free will was likely a design flaw, one that mocks him relentlessly every time I open my mouth. Still, it it testament to my humanity, or rather what little I have of it, but it mocks him all the same. He created me to be perfect, and while I succeeded his expectations in some ways, I'm in a complete disappointment in all others. I was given enough power to rule the world, and I had been beaten down by a failed clone and a half-breed.

When I was done being watched and was finally allowed to leave, I phased downward but didn't return to Aerith. I went instead to what I'd begun to internally refer to as my sanctuary, my garden away from all others, where the eyes of those I had sinned could look upon me with stony gazes. I apologized each and every time I entered the sanctum, went on my knees before them and simply let myself be. I lost myself in thought, and simply breathed in and out.

It was my peace and quiet away from peace and quiet. It was an escape from myself.

Minutes passed, several hours thereafter, though I'm not sure how long I was truly out of Aerith's company for; the passage of time no longer held such grand meaning to me. What was one minute to another, when each and all were spent in servitude?

She was standing in the kitchen when I returned, all by herself. Either she purposefully was ignoring me, or she was seriously concentrating on whatever it was she had engrossed herself in, but whichever the case, she didn't even so much as look my way when I phased in the visible spectrum hardly a few feet behind her. Her careful walk showed me she'd been working on standing on her own when I wasn't with her, which made me proud; work ethic is a difficult thing to learn, and diligence is doubly so. She had both, and in abundance.

It wouldn't be long before she no longer needed me...

I hadn't realized I'd sighed until she turned to look at me. Her smile, as always, was enchanting.

"I made something for you," she giggled as she said it, leaning up against the kitchen counter to help support herself. She reached behind her back and presented me a plate of strangely-shaped red-colored wiggling blobs.

"I... ah, thank you." I hadn't the slightest idea what they were, but one was very distinctly a chocobo.

"It's gelatin," she offered while giving the plate a good wiggle for measure. The red, jiggly chocobo waved to and fro, and nearly all directions in between.

"I apologize. I've never... seen gelatin before."

She made a face, somewhere between wonder and puzzlement. "Never seen gelatin before? Really?"

"Hojo had tight restrictive reigns on my diet, even before..." Before I went crazy. "Before, when I was still in Soldier. When I was out on the field I was able to eat whatever I felt like, yes, but I've never been overly fond of sweets."

"Well, what kinds of things _do_ you like?"

I thought for a moment. "Red meat," I finally answered.

She laughed. "That seems like something someone might assume about you, not something that's really true. Here, come have some. You can't tell you won't like it unless you try it."

But her strength was giving out, likely from her standing on her own for so long, and when she reached out to offer me the plate, it fell from her hands and crashed to the floor.

For a long moment, she just looked at the mess she'd made, a deep look of disgust plastered to her face. "Well, fuck."

I laughed. I couldn't help it; seeing her curse was like hearing the punchline of a joke that really isn't that funny, but for some reason really hits you. When I look at her I am drawn to think of flowers and light and all good things - can you blame me? - and to hear the most dreaded of all swear words fall from those pretty rose lips of hers? It was like watching a mad kitten; it was simple and adorable, and completely strange.

My laugh made her jump, as it was something that, in three months in my constant company, she had yet to hear. But after her initial shock, she hid a smile behind her hands that eventually reached her eyes, then further, all the way down to her toes, as she laughed right along with me.

She reached a hand behind her, her laugh slowly fading, and took another plate off the counter. "Good thing they couldn't all fit onto one plate," she sighed, wiping her eyes with her other hand.

I took a step toward her, so that she wouldn't have to reach out to hand me anything, but, as luck would have it, I stepped square in the gelatin that had landed on the floor hardly moments before and, like some great dead thing, fell to the floor. Due to our close proximity, however, I ended up kicking Aerith's feet right out from under her, and we both tumbled to the floor, a mess of limbs.

Her legs straddled across my hips, we landed in a pile of gelatin and the both of us erupted in another fit of laughter. I wiped my eyes with my hands - it had been so long since I last truly, deeply laughed that apparently it was straining my eyes enough that they'd teared up. I sat up, causing Aerith to tumble backwards, but managed to right her well enough so that she simply sat in my lap.

She was trying to catch her breath between laughing bursts when she reached up and picked a piece of gelatin off my shoulder. I heard a little piggish snort as she popped the piece in her mouth, which only made the both of us laugh harder. It was quite a while before we were able to finally calm down any amount; we would try to calm down, make eye contact, and then instantly begin to laugh again; we were behaving like children, and neither of us could care in the slightest. But, when we were actually able to form sentences between laughs, we both felt invigorated. She rested her forehead against mine and sighed, shaking her head.

Aerith reached up and pulled another piece of stray gelatin, this time from my cheek. She held it up to my lips, but the moment her skin touched mine, it was as if an electric shock ran through my entire body. I was suddenly very aware of her sitting in my lap, of our closeness, and I abruptly found it very difficult to breathe.

I obediently opened my mouth, but couldn't help myself from tasting her. I drew the tips of her fingers into my mouth, and at that moment I knew there was no turning back. The laughter fell from her eyes, not to be replaced by repulsion or fear, but instead by quiet wonder. She looked at her fingers, at my lips, as I pulled ever so slightly and ran my tongue over the tips of them. I watched at her eyes widened and her breathing became shallower. She swallowed, the curve of her neck begging to be kissed.

Ah, but I wasn't that bold. At least, not yet.

She slowly pulled her fingers away, her lips falling open in such a slim sliver if I'd not been watching them I wouldn't have noticed. Her eyes suddenly shot up to meet mine, a shy look of fascination lighting up her features.

I met her gaze with cool confidence. If she so much as turned to move away I would let her be free of me. But laughing with her - true and deep - had unlocked something deep within me, had let loose a few of the chains that had held my emotions so tight.

She couldn't meet my gaze for long - as I watched her, I could see that there was a storm of thought behind her eyes - but while she looked away from me, she made no move to get away. Her fists had gathered the material of my shirt, and she suddenly found her fingers rather entrancing.

But I wasn't to be put off so easily. While I finally knew what it was I wanted, I would never force her, never harm her. I gently caught her chin between my thumb and the second knuckle of my forefinger, bringing her gaze up to meet mine. When our eyes met again, I could see the confusion stirring through her eyes, but behind that, unguarded, was anticipation. Her cheeks, flushed pink like one of her pretty flowers, lit up even more when I moved in closer.

I brought our faces close to one another. I watched as she held her breath, her eyes drifting down to my lips as they fluttered, threatening to close, but wishing, so dearly, to stay open.

And while I'd meant to kiss her tenderly, she beat me right to it. Our faces were hardly inches apart, and I was savoring the butterfly thumping of her heart as I drew closer and closer, when she reached forward of her own will and pressed her lips against mine. To say that I was thrilled would be an understatement, but I hid it well enough. I eased my hand from her chin to cup the side of her face, draw her closer against me, and when we broke apart momentarily, I heard her gasp the slightest of breaths before she moved against me for another kiss, and another and another.

I was lost. She had complete power over me, absolute control, but when she moved to catch a breath, I descended, losing one hand in her hair as I kissed at the corners of her mouth, her chin, her delicate jawline, slowly making my way down to her neck. She trembled in my arms when I raked my teeth against the skin under her earlobe, and clutched tighter still at my shirt as I move downward.

I thought of all of the things I would do to her, if only my kisses could persuade her to take off her clothing. I grated my teeth across the flesh of her collar bone and listened to the noises she made, wondering if she would make the same ones were I to bite the inside of her thighs. I wanted to hear that pretty voice of hers call out my name like a mantra.

My collar buzzed and I nearly bit my tongue off. Aerith instantly froze in my arms, stiff and frozen. I stood quickly, taking her with me, and placed her gently on the couch, before I paced a few times in front of her. What was I supposed to say in a situation like this? I opened my mouth a few times, trying to formulate a complete sentence, but hardly a sound passed my lips. Finally, I merely looked down at her and shook my head. Her eyes were wide, but be it from fear or something else I couldn't tell.

I shot skyward and phased into the labs hardly seconds before the collar would punish me for being late.

"What?" I growled at Hojo.

The sickly little shit jumped, which only served to satisfy me in a twisted manner. It was hardly sane for me to enjoy what little fear I could strike into him, but I didn't care; my hatred for him ran all the way to my marrow.

He glared at me after he'd composed himself once more. "Your heart-rate was skyrocketing; I was worried that you'd done something stupid or dangerous."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "You interrupted the most fantastic dream."

"Well, I'm pleased you hadn't found some way to unknowingly kill yourself."

"Yes, it would be such a pity."

He didn't acknowledge my scathing remark, and instead handed me a folder.

My heart sunk to my feet. "Not again. Not this soon."

"You'll do what I say, when I say to," he spat back.

"Another innocent refusing to be your plaything?" I flipped the folder open. A young boy, perhaps only recently a man. Likely not even old enough to drink.

"No," Hojo smirked. "The son of a rival who dared to try and get my funding cut and kick me out. We'll see if he attends any board meetings after this."

"You're a sick fuck."

He smiled. "If I wasn't, you wouldn't be here. Mankind cannot make progress without twisting science to bend at will. Besides; were it not me, it would be someone else. Now, comes the fun part. The following are commands: You will kill Nero Lafratta. You will be seen by no other human being and, if you are, you will end them. You will attempt to complete your task by the week's end, and will do everything in your power to ensure it is finished. If, for whatever reason you are unable to complete your task, you will promptly return here to face the consequences. You will not try to escape or evade your duties."

I fell to my knees and vomited, the world buzzing around me. This time, however, when I came to, Hojo stood over me, a small grin stretching his lips thin. "Remember that, Number One. No matter how you hate me, I hold all power over you."

I glared up at him. The previous incident had done little to cow him. No matter how shocked he had been when I'd reached out and taken him by the neck, he'd steeled his will against mine. It had show that no matter how quick I was, the collar around my neck was quicker. No matter how I wished it, I could never kill him. And he was lording it over my head.

I almost made toward him again. But his smile, widening from ear to ear, showed me it was exactly what he wanted. He enjoyed watching me writhe on the floor in pain, frustrated beyond intelligent thought. I was made to be a killing machine, and he relished the thought of me fulfilling my purpose, despite our given circumstance. I knew, right away, that was the reason he'd looked at me so strangely hardly a day before; he'd engineered me to be a perfect killing machine. The fact that I no longer relished in the spilling of blood confused him.

He truly did not see me as any form of intelligent creature. No, I was only a tool to him, a creation. Not a person, merely a being.

I should have been enraged.

Instead, I was saddened by the realization. He was less human than I could ever sink to become, yet he'd somehow convinced himself that I was the one without humanity.

"I pity you, Hojo."

His grin remained, but questions shined behind his beady, black eyes. "And why is that, Number One?"

"Because despite my slavery, I still have thoughts that are my own. You're so corrupted by your own madness, it's a wonder you manage to function."

His face became a perfect mask, but the moment his grin disintegrated, I knew that my words had struck him deep and true. "I would watch my tongue if I were you. I could just as well control your mind as I do your body and will. The only reason I don't is for the simple, pure joy it gives me to watch you squirm and fight, despite you knowing how endlessly futile it is. Remember this; you belong to me. You may have gotten the better of me once, but rest assured that it will _never_ happen again."

He turned and left, confidence and anger in his step. I hadn't the slightest idea if he was telling the truth and really could control my mind as easily he did by body, but the thought of it sent shivers down my spine. My mind, my thoughts, were the only freedom I had. To think that he could take that away? I would be left with nothing. I was a prisoner in the underground, but to be a prisoner in my own body?

Terrifying.

I knew it was time to let her go. I was afraid of what Hojo might do to me, but what I might end up doing to Aerith because of him served to only frighten me more. It takes an intelligent man to admit when he is afraid; only fools boast of fearlessness.

I phased back into the apartment and looked to her. She slept on the couch, curled up with a blanket around her, holding a pillow tightly. I made my way to the bedroom, and ripped the closet and dresser apart. I found a duffel bag at the bottom of one of the drawers, and began to fill it with her clothing. Then, I tipped over the dresser and eased the bag of gil from underneath. I'd found it all, little by little, scattered across the empty rooms of the catacomb-like apartment complex, and had begun to collect it in the beginning of my servitude. I was more confident I'd be able to break free from Hojo's clutches in the early stages of my forced slavery, and I'd known that, despite my being able to fly and turn invisible, I wasn't a criminal. I would not reduce myself to stealing when there were alternatives, and thus I'd gathered as much gil as I could.

I picked her up without waking her. She stirred in my arms, but I shushed her gently and she fell back into the sweet embrace of sleep. I phased out and upward, then began toward Costa del Sol. She'd told me it was where she'd wanted to travel, and it wasn't far from my own destination of Rocket Town. The way she'd spoken of her friends before made me feel uncomfortable about leaving her on their doorsteps, not that I truly knew where any of them resided anyway. Still, it was not my place. If she wanted back in their lives, the gil I've gifted her would be plenty and a half to travel to wherever she needed to go.

We were nearing the outskirts of town when she stirred in my arms, coming fully awake. She gasped and clutched my shirt when she realized we were over the ocean, flying. "What's going on?"

"I have a present for you. We're almost there."

My words placated her enough that she relaxed in my arms.

I landed and helped her to her feet. We were outside of Costa del Sol, in the middle of the night. The open plains expanded to one side of us, the ocean on the other, the town hardly a stone's throw behind us. She stood in awe, looking around - to the stars and trees and sandy beach - but when she turned back to me, she wore a look of open curiosity. "I don't understand. Why are we here, and how did you-"

"I'm currently in the middle of a mission."

She froze, as if for a moment she suspected me of bringing her here to end her. But the look quickly faded from her face, to be replaced once again with bewilderment.

I stretched out my hand to her, giving the duffel bag. She took her, her fingers gently brushing against mine. "I still don't-"

"I'm setting you free, Aerith."

I turned to go, but she reached me faster than I thought she would. She wrapped her arms around mine, her eyes wide and bright as the stars. She didn't say anything, though her mouth did open and close a few times in her obvious attempt to find words.

I pulled her hands free, brought her fingers to my mouth, and kissed her knuckles. "Live well, for both our sakes. And know that if I'm ever sent to either kill or collect you, that I truly am sorry."

Aerith gripped my fingers. "I can help. We can get the collar off and-"

I cut her off with a kiss. "Don't make this harder for me than it already is. I'm not a knight in shining armor, and you know better than anyone how cruel I can be. Freedom is something I can only be tempted with. It's not better this way, but it seems the path I walk is my only way."

She was crying, hot tears streaking down her face.

"Hush now," I cooed, stealing one last kiss. "You've gone mad with captor's love, my dear. You've convinced yourself that I'm not some terrible monster, and even think to shed tears over me. I beg you to stop. There is one thing I must ask of you, however."

The lashes around her emerald eyes were wet with tears, spilling every time she blinked.

"Enjoy the stars for me. I find it such a pity I can no longer look at them at my own whim. Be happy, flower girl."

I turned, pulled away from her grasp, and took to the skies as fast as I could manage.

I made it to Rocket Town before dawn, and phased through the wall of the apartment of my designated target. Nero slept soundly, peacefully, in his bed. It broke my heart to know that his father would wake up in the morning, call his son to breakfast, or perhaps check on his before he makes his morning pot of coffee, only to find him dead. I studied the face of the young man whose life I would take. I committed it to memory, every line, every freckle. He would be another statue in my secret chamber. I wish I knew what he looked like when he smiled; the laugh lines on his face were deep, and I could easily tell he was a bright, happy young man.

I placed a hand over his mouth and slit his throat. He didn't have time to wake before he was dead; his body jumped as I ran the knife through his neck, but his eyes remained closed.

When I turned, I felt a strange wetness on my face. I knew it wasn't blood, as none had sprayed, and when I touched my face and pulled my hand away, the liquid was clear.

I was crying.

How odd.

But the numbness that overwhelmed me trumped any anguish, or even bewilderment, I could feel. I shut myself off, shut myself down, and simply flew back to Midgar, back to my cage. I don't remember my interaction with Hojo thereafter. He asked questions, I answered, and then my blood was taken; it was the same every time. It was always the same.

I ate only because he commanded it.

I took my mattress from the apartment and brought it to my sanctuary. I made a statue for Nero, though his face was solemn as he looked down at me.

And then, because I couldn't stop my hands, let alone my mind, I made a statue of my little flower girl, kneeing above my mattress, eyes closed, hands clasped in front of her chest

For two and a half months, I didn't sleep.


	5. Fragile Driftwood

Chapter Five: Fragile Driftwood

To say that I had turned myself into a zombie would be describing my predicament with lightheartedness. I was less of a zombie and more of a machine than anything, if we really are trying to apply labels. I forced myself to cook only because Hojo had commanded me to eat. I didn't taste my food. I showered daily, out of habit more than anything else, and the motions were always mechanical. Wet hair, wash hair, rinse hair. Wet body, lather body, rinse body. Towel dry. Sit on the lid of the toilet until the steam was gone from the bathroom, contemplating how I could somehow find a loophole and kill myself.

I'd always thought suicide to be the fool's choice. _I_ had been the fool for ever thinking I knew what went on in the minds of others, when I had never been through such deep depression. I'd had the world stolen from me, and even then I'd manage to keep my wits about me. Without Aerith to talk to, my apartment was empty and quiet, and my lack of sleep only prompted hallucinations of the most dreadful sort. Nearly three months of no sleep would drive any normal man to kill himself, I'm sure. And while I'm no normal man, I still was _a_ man, and despite the fact that I needed far less sleep than any other human alive, three months of constant wakefulness were making the shadows dance at the end of the hall when I passed by the kitchen, or the shower curtains to move when I passed by the bathroom. I was, quite literally, going mad, but not the type of madness that would make me want to take over the world again. No, this was the type of madness that made me lose myself in the confines of my own mind.

I was spiraling out of control.

And still the assassinations continued. Three months after I'd set Aerith free, seven more statues had been added to my sanctuary. Hojo called me to the labs every other day, expressing his pleasure at my success when I returned from my forced killings. He took my blood, and attempted conversation - I knew he could tell that I was slipping away - but I found I didn't even have enough fire left in me to care when he attempted to bring about a reaction in me. I was healthy in body, but my consciousness was slipping, bit by bit, like sand through open fingers.

I don't know how I properly managed it, but every time I was sent on a mission, I took back with me soil. It sounds strange to say it, yes, but at the back of my mind, it made perfect sense. If I could have no companions in my concrete coffin, I would make them, I would grow them. It started with a simple burlap sack I'd found outside the house of one of my victims. It was filled with potting soil, and I knew it wouldn't be missed. It began to fall out of control from there. I brought each bag back to my sanctuary and lined the floor, packing it under my mattress so that I might wake and smell dirt. Then, I rigged the lighting as best I could, tearing what few hydroponic lamps that remained from the greenhouse area of the apartment complex. The soil there had long since molded, however, which is why I only took seeds that had been hidden away, safe and away from moisture. Besides, I wanted my soil to have felt the warmth of the sun, since I could not.

They grew, little by little, my flowers. I spoke to them, much like a madman might, but at least remained sane enough to understand that they couldn't speak back to me. I told them of my troubles, and even whispered my secrets to them. When I slipped away and lost myself as I stared at my statues, especially that of Aerith, I sometimes felt as though they were watching me. They eased my pain, and helped me pass time. But, in the end, I was simply slipping too far away for anything to truly help.

I simply was. For weeks, there was no depth to me; only existence.

It was, easily, the most dark period of my life.

And it only got worse. As these things usually tend to.

Hojo called me to his labs, and when I arrived he was oddly angry. For him to be angry, of course, wasn't odd in itself. The level of his anger, however, had his lap dogs scuttling about themselves, cowering when he shoved his instruments or paper work off the counters.

"I'm sure you'd like to know what's gotten me in such a mood, Number One. You used to enjoy goading me so."

I kept my face passive as I looked to him. It wasn't hard; I honestly did not care. Not a single molecule of my being gave a shit.

Despite my empty stare, he went on as if I'd answered him. "There is still no word on the girl. Six months have passed since I stole her up from the land of the lifestream, and yet none of these incompetent mouth-breathers can even find a trace of her."

One of his assistants was shaking, tears streaking down her face. I found it odd she could cry because he was yelling at them. They were always vying for his attention like love-starved dogs. I suppose it was slightly more strange that she would cry when Hojo was in one of his moods, and not when she was helping him ruin people and generally run amok in the world of science.

Perhaps she would one day be as mad as Hojo.

My mad creator rambled on, and though I couldn't smell any alcohol on his breath, I knew he'd been into his bottles and was working off a hard hangover. "Imbeciles, the lot of them. I can't fathom a decent counterargument as to why I shouldn't simply toss them up on the table and open them up. Perhaps it would help me understand their levels of ineptitude, were I to examine their brains."

He took a vial of Mako and jammed the needle into my arm. My lungs filled with air, and though by body was rejuvenated, I remained passive and limp. Even refined lifestream did little for me.

I was handed another folder. I opened it, and looked to the face of who would become my next statue. A pretty young thing with dark skin and bright, defiant eyes. Her name was Ember. Hojo gave his commands, and left me on the floor while he continued to yell at his subordinates. When I could stand again, I left the labs and simply phased skyward. There was no use going back to the apartment, or to my sanctuary; it was empty, and I never bothered to take anything with me.

I landed outside Costa del Sol. It was the middle of summer, but even so, the night was warm. Lights from the local taverns still lit up the streets, and several drunkards stumbled across alleyways to puke up what always ended up as one too many drinks.

Ember lived on the outskirts of town, in a little hut hardly a stones throw from the beach. A bakery and a florist lined the road leading up to the girl's residence. The smell of fresh bread had been something that, at one time, had brought me joy. Now, I noticed nothing.

Ember's house was dark, but I knew she was awake and on edge before I even phased through the wall. As soon as I became visible, she flicked on the light and stared me down, her eyes wide with both anger and fear.

I hadn't asked Hojo why I had to kill her, but from her stance and body language, I knew she had been expecting me.

It only took a moment for her to enter a fighting stance. She threw a dagger at me, which I easily caught. Her eyes went wide for a fraction of a second, and then she was on me like a mad creature.

"He sent you to kill me, did he? Just like the others?"

I blocked her kicks and a flurry of punches, my face blank and impassive.

"I will not be taken down so easy, not even by someone as strong and as capable as you."

I didn't respond. What could I say or do that could make the situation not what it was?

Ember was tough, but I had won battles against a hundred men on my own. I disarmed her when she pulled a knife from her belt, but instead of breaking her wrist, I simply caught it, slapped the knife away, then brought her into a quick embrace.

"If ever you've believed anything in your life, take my words and know the truth in them; I am sorry. Though I know not who you are, I will miss you, and I am sorry with everything that I am."

The shock of my embrace and words were enough to stun her into silence and stillness long enough for me to pull my knife across her throat.

She fell limp in my arms, and I eased her to the floor, holding her tightly, feeling the life drain from her and return to the planet. When her spirit was no longer part of this world, I eased her body into a more dignified position, and arranged her clothing as neatly as I could.

To wash the blood from my body, I bathed myself in the sea.

I heard voices behind me, but I ignored them; they were far enough away that whoever was speaking wouldn't be able to hear me over the rush of the water, nor would they be able to see me in the dark, even as such close range.

"I can't believe we pulled it off, Ari. The bride called this morning in such a panic; I'm so happy we could finish all of it."

The speaker was a woman, likely from the flower shop. I'd noticed the light on behind the counter when I'd passed by earlier, but hadn't really paid attention to it.

But when the second one spoke, I froze as though I'd felt the muzzle of a gun be pressed tot he back of my skull.

"I don't mean to toot my own horn, but the fact that the two of us got that entire order done before dawn is somewhat amazing. And here I was worried I wasn't going to get any sleep."

I turned and saw Aerith locking up and closing the shades of the flower shop.

I knew that I'd be coming to Costa del Sol when Hojo had handed me Ember's file, but to think that Aerith was still within the town? My mind was scrambling for answers. Surly she would have sought out her friends by now?

Without really realizing it, I slammed up my mental walls and, even though I knew it would do me no good, I crouched into the sea, as if it could somehow hide me.

But even though my mental walls were up as tightly as I could manage, the moment they'd slammed up, I watched Aerith jump. Her head twisted toward the ocean, and she looked out upon the tide pools.

"What is it?" her companion asked.

Aerith swallowed, then shook her head. "I thought I... Never mind. I'm tired. I'll finish up here, and meet you back in the morning.

The other girl waved goodbye as she meandered down the boardwalk, and Aerith turned her back to both the sea and I as she finished up locking the front doors to the florist.

I should have known better. I should have left when her back was turned.

But I couldn't.

I ached for her, for just the chance to look upon her. It pleased me to no end to see how she could walk on her own, to see her outside of the confines of the apartment-prison. She even had a sun-tan.

She looked back to the sea when she was finished.

My heart skipped a beat when she looked directly at me. I swam backward, phasing out of the visible spectrum, but lacked the will to turn and leave. Not yet.

I watched as she began toward the ocean, her hands clasped in front of her chest. Then, when her feet touched the waters edge, she closed her eyes. I could feel the tendrils of her consciousness reach out for me. I sank further into myself to avoid her. Once I opened my mind to her, it would be too much.

After a long while, Aerith opened her eyes again and sighed. She wiped her eyes, took a deep breath, then reached up and took the bright flower that decorated her hair. She gently tossed it to the ocean, turned, and walked away.

She didn't look back.

When she was out of sight, I swam closer to shore and scooped up the flower, turned, and flew into the horizon. It smelled like her...

Dawn met me as I entered Midgar. I didn't even wait for my collar to begin buzzing before I aimed my direction toward the labs. Hojo, as he always was, waited for me. He looked to my hand and the flower in my grasp before he began taking blood. "Do I even want to know?"

"I found it in the ocean. I've never seen one such as this before."

Hojo nodded. "They are native to the area surrounding Costa del Sol, though they are hard to grow. Though since I've never been much of a botanist, I can't really say for sure why they are so difficult a flower. I find such things useless, and don't see the benefit from wasting my time with flora."

"I merely thought it was pretty." I gazed at the flower in my hand. It was pretty, of course. But my half-truth loophole allowed me to hide the real reason I was clutching it with such tenderness.

"I have something to show you." His smile was wicked. Were it not for my having seen Aerith with my own two eyes hardly hours before, I would have panicked and thought Hojo had found her again. I followed him out of the labs, my heart heavy. Whatever made Hojo happy was bad news for me.

And it wasn't just bad. It was terrible.

Suspended in a tank of Mako before me floated another clone of myself. It hung, suspended, unmoving. Wires and tubes stuck out from its skin, and the steady beeping of medical monitors were the only things keeping me from thinking that the world had stopped.

I moved to press my hand against the glass. "How is this possible?"

Hojo laughed, watching my reaction. "I brought you back from the dead, and you ask me how this is possible? It's possible because I'm a genius. I'm been slowly constructing him from the samples I retrieve from you on a frequent basis. Your DNA is quite complex, you know. The following is a command; you will never harm, or bring harm to, any clone I create. I can't have you growing a conscience and trying to stop my plans, now can I?"

As I hunched over the floor, vomiting, I shot Hojo a look of pure hatred. My emotions had been shut off for so long that I believe he'd become used to my sheep-like demeanor. When my gaze met his, he jumped, though only slightly. I still scared him, no matter how unable to harm him I might be. He recovered quickly, and laughed it off. "Come, now, Number One. Haven't you always wanted a sibling. He will be perfect, just wait. And then, when he is finished and perfect, I'll be able to stop sending you on your missions. You've told me you hate them so. You should be happy; the Famed General finally gets to retire."

He turned around and cackled, looking through the glass of the Mako tank as though something precious was inside.

Back in my sanctuary, hours later, I made a statue for Ember, then placed my flower in the lap of my stone rendition of Aerith. I laid down on the mattress and for the first time in three months, closed my eyes and eased my body into the welcoming embrace of sleep.

I've always dreamed peculiar things, and when I opened my eyes in my dreamland, it was no compromise. I lay in an open field of flowers and grass, but this world lacked skies above. Only while, ambient light surrounded me as a soft, petal-like touch traced my forehead.

I looked up to see Aerith gently stroking my forehead. I sat up and pulled her into my lap, though I admit somewhat roughly. "Of course," I sighed. "The one time in three months I manage to get any sleep and all I can think of is you." Without thinking, I leaned down and kissed her. I couldn't have her in reality, so my dreams were the next best thing.

But she fidgeted in my lap, and pushed away from my lips. I looked down at her, her legs bunched up underneath her body, her fingers tangled up in my shirt.

"That's why I haven't been able to find you!" Her voice was a mixture of disbelief and astonishment.

I blinked stupidly.

She reached up and touched my face. "I was so worried that you'd really gone mad. Then, when I felt you off the shore last night, I had to stop myself from jumping into the ocean and swimming after you."

I scrunched my face. What was she talking about, this dream-girl?

Aerith wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close for a tight embrace. "I've been waiting for you, every night at midnight, in the same flower field that you set me free in. I'm sorry that I couldn't help you get free before you made me go. I want to help you. I know that you've changed, and that if we could get this stupid collar off of you that you'd help take Shinra down and-"

I grabbed her arms and pulled her backwards, giving her a good, hard stare. This was foolish dream-speak, but some part of me, deep down, was beginning to panic.

"What are you talking about?"

She turned her head, her gaze innocent and slightly offended. "I'm talking about getting your obedience collar off, the one that Hojo controls you with. Look, I know you killed Ember last night; it's why you were in Costa del Sol. But I also know that you don't kill because you want to any longer. In our time together, I watched as Hojo forced you to kill, and how it tore you apart. You're not the same man that ran me through. I... I trust you, Sephiroth."

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Leave it to my damaged mind to take the mental high-road. I wanted her forgiveness. Deep down, I knew I did. I'd deny it until the sun burnt out, but it's so difficult to lie to yourself in dreams. They show what we truly want, after all, and what I wanted was for Aerith to trust me, to forgive me, and - blast it all to Hades and back - to love me.

Her soft hands cupped my face, and when I opened my eyes, she was smiling up at me. "I told you; every night at midnight, I wait for you in the same flower field. Please, come see me. Even if it's only for a moment. I just want to thank you for all that you've done for me, in person. None of this dream-speak nonsense."

She reached up, kissed my forehead, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

And then I was on my mattress, my eyes wide, sweat coating my skin.

"Goddamn dream," I spat, sitting up.

But when I turned and looked at the statue of Aerith, every cell in my body froze.

Her smooth stone cheeks were wet with the trails of tears.

I phased upward so fast and so violently, I hadn't realized how fast my body reacted without my mind being present. I lurched to the bathroom, shaking. I wet my face in the sink. Then, when it didn't help, I dunked my head under the faucet of the tub.

"Goddamn dream," I repeated over and over.

And even though it hadn't been anything by a dream - a delusion brought upon myself from lack of sleep and deep heartbreak, not to mention depression and seclusion - I knew that the next mission I was given, I would be making a detour to Costa del Sol.

It shouldn't have given me hope.

No, I suppose I shouldn't have _allowed_ it to give me hope.

But it was like a sickness. I wanted to see her. I _needed_ to see her.

I laid on the bathroom floor until hunger persuaded me to feed myself. Then, for lack of anything else to do, I picked up the book I'd been reading to Aerith and finished it. And another. And another thereafter, only pausing to eat and shower. I was useless; Hojo had made a clone of me, and I could do no more to stop him than I could to free myself.

I slept again, hoping to see her in my dreams, but there was nothing. Not even nightmares.

It was nearly four days before Hojo called me next, but I wasn't prepared for what he had in store for me this time.

When I presented him my arm for him to take his sample of blood, he swatted my hand down and ushered me into a door I'd never before been into. It was his study, and it was stranger than anything I'd ever expected due to the fact that nothing was out of the ordinary. The walls were lined with mahogany bookshelves that had every manner of book upon them, from novels meant for pleasure-reading, to in-depth field guides, all the way to scientific journals.

Behind his large, stained desk, sitting with her back straight, and a pair of glasses perched on her nose, sat a young woman with a look of no nonsense about her. She had a clipboard, and was pressing the end of her pen against her lips. When I stood in front of the desk, she stood as well and offered her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Sephiroth. My name is Doctor Larson, and I'm here to give you a psych evaluation."

I dropped her hand, then looked at Hojo. "Is this some kind of joke?"

Hojo shook his head, then adjusted his glasses. "No joke. Doctor Larson is on my payroll, and will keep this a secret. In return, I'm indebted to her when a time comes that she needs it. Your abnormal behavior, your slip into depression; I'll not have something I made break, do you understand? If I have to shove medication down your throat until you choke, I'll do it."

I didn't doubt him. I sat down across from the doctor and eased myself backward until I was leaning against the back of the chair. Before Hojo left the room, I was commanded to answer the doctor truthfully, and not to hurt her in any way. Good thing I was already sitting by that point. My head lulled from side to side as I attempted to keep the world from spinning too far out of control.

"I'm under the assumption that doctor-patient confidentially plays little role here, correct?"

"My apologies, General, but having a favor to hold over the professor was too fantastic of a chance to pass up."

I smiled, my face somewhat wicked. "Provided he doesn't have me kill you when he's finished."

The color drained from her face, but she kept her composure well enough. "Tell me, General-"

"Use my name, or don't call me anything at all. The only thing that ties me to Shinra any longer is the fact that I live in the underground. I'm no longer a general, and the title serves no purpose."

The next three and a half hours were much of the same. I answered her truthfully, like I was commanded to, even when her questions were asinine.

"Do the assignments Professor Hojo sends you on bother you?"

"I'm sent to take innocent life, just to suit him. I'm far crazier than any other creature you will ever meet, but know I am honest when I tell you that it's eating away at my sanity."

"How do you mean?"

"Do you know what it's like to kill little children?"

"Ah, well, no, I-"

"Then you would have little understanding of the predicament I'm going through, as there exist no words to properly describe the pain and torment all of these killings are causing me."

"But you've killed before, haven't you?"

"Killing a man on the field of battle; there is honor to be found in that. You are fighting for your own reasons, even if they may only revolve around staying alive. But being forced to cut the throats of little children as they cry for their father who lies on the floor, bleeding to death because of you? Of course I've killed before, but killing a man who is armed to the teeth and ready to die for what he believes in isn't on the same plane of existence as killing an innocent man and his children. One of the scenarios has been burned into my mind so clearly that, when I close my eyes, I see them looking up at me. I will give you a good guess as to which one I mean."

"Let's move along, then. Hojo has described you as somewhat depressive as of late. Have you been contemplating suicide?"

"Absolutely. There is nothing better I'd like to do than kill myself. Well, I suppose that's not true. I would like to run Hojo through. Ah, not entirely through. About halfway through. Perhaps a quarter of the way through. Several times. With a dull object. But I digress. The answer to the original question remains a solid yes."

"And what's prevented you from ending your life?"

I pointed to the collar around my neck and smiled, albeit grimly.

"If you didn't have the collar around your neck, do you think you'd have the same thoughts regarding suicide?"

"Listen here," I leaned forward in my chair, resting my elbows on my knees and meeting the doctor's gaze. "If this damned collar wasn't around my neck, Hojo would be dead, all of his assistants would be dead, and likely well over half of Shinra would follow suit. I don't want to kill myself because I'm in a dark place. I want to kill myself because I a_m_ the dark place. I am forced to kill. I have little to no free will, save what thoughts I can manage to keep my own. I am what people fear when they turn down a dark alley. I am who mothers say will come after their children, should they misbehave. So the answer to your question is a huge, resounding no; I would not have the same thoughts about ending my life were this collar not around my neck on the basis that I wouldn't be in this fine mess were it not for the damned thing in the first place. And, let it be known that if it was not for this collar, half the world would be mine by now."

It was the truth, although not the whole truth. It's the way things would be had Aerith not fallen into my life. I knew the cost of taking a life, and I'd been offered kindness with no strings attached by her open hands. If there was one thing I would do, had I not the collar around my neck, it would be to remain by her side. But were it not for the collar, I would never have freed her from Hojo's clutches just to watch him throw his little fits. Without the collar, I wouldn't have changed.

Like I said, it was the truth. Or, more precisely, _a_ truth.

"And you truly believe this?" She scribbled on her notepad.

"Belief has little to do with it. The world was almost mine once."

"And what stopped that from happening?"

I heaved a sigh rolled my eyes. "You, like the rest of the inhabitants of this dying little rock, don't seem to understand what happened those years ago. Meteor hung in the sky like the very image of death himself, and was lifted away by the wondrous power of the lifestream. Yet, none of you truly know what transpired in those times."

"Since I'm so ignorant, perhaps you could enlighten me."

I smiled, suddenly filled with wickedness. "Certainly. I'm sure you heard of my fall from Shinra long ago. I went M.I.A. only to then be spotted all over the world a few years ago."

"I remember. They tried to cover it up, but word was you'd killed the previous President Shinra."

My smile widened. "Something like that. In the end, I found, though extensive research about the Cetra-"

"The Ancients?"

"Please, that name is an insult. As I was saying, through my research about the Cetra, I discovered a power that they feared. For a race so complex as they to truly fear something, I knew it would help me take what I wanted. So, I found the Black Materia, the means to summon Meteor."

The doctor's eyes went huge.

"Oh, yes, that beautiful thing in the sky was all my doing. I'd create such a wound on the surface of the planet that the lifestream would rush to mend it. I planned to immerse myself within the river of unrefined souls and absorb the power until I simply could not be killed."

She swallowed, eating up my story like a child at bedtime.

"Ah, but such is the nature of good beings; my plan was not able to come to fruition. The last of the Cetra scarified herself, and her pure, selfless deed convinced the lifestream, the planet, to save the humans. Even though they hurt it so, even to this day."

"But... But I thought you'd been killed?"

"Oh, I was killed. The lifestream didn't burst forth from the ground like some kind of angry thing. No, my power was enough to keep it at bay. But I was weak. A failed clone of myself beat me down before I could plunge into the lifestream and be reborn as a god. Then, once I was gone, the lifestream rescued the inhabitants of this pathetic planet."

She scribbled more on her notepad, adjusted her glasses, then sighed. "It's been a long session. If you'll excuse me for a moment." I watched as she carefully stood, making sure not to turn her back to me, and left the room.

Despite the closed door, I could hear the conversation on the other side. "Well, does your diagnosis match mine?"

"Yes and no, professor. I would need more time with him, were I to diagnose him with PTSD. It's obvious he's had trauma in his life - there's no questioning that - but the real question is how deep it goes, and how much is he hiding from us. I think it's more anxiety-related, his behavior, from being forced to do whatever you command him to. His mind is so warped that it's little wonder he's functional. Do you know he's convinced he brought that meteor those years ago?"

I could practically hear Hojo roll his eyes. "What are you, dense? I commanded him to tell you nothing but the truth. And of course he was the one to call Meteor; what other creature on this planet would have the strength to summon one of the most destructive forces in the whole damned galaxy? What else did you find out?"

The doctor scrambled to find her thoughts. Ha, she'd truly been under the impression that I'd been feeding her lies. What a twit. I strained my ears in order to hear more.

"Uh, other than that, I am of the belief that he has slight megalomaniac tendencies. He's convinced that, were it not for the collar around his neck, you, your assistants, and half of Shinra would be dead. It seems he was, at one point, quite obsessed with world domination, with becoming a God. The way he speaks of those who supposedly thwarted his plans seem to have been objectified in his mind; they are more like obstacles, turning points that made his plan go awry. He didn't want me to address him as General, yet his ego seemed inflated with the idea of being far stronger than a normal man. He wanted the world in his grasp."

Stupid. I had no interest in ruling the planet as it was. I was going to get rid of all the humans first, then rebuild Gaia to suit my needs and desires.

Despite my never having said anything, Hojo understood that aspect of me. "First of all, he's got more powers than a comic-book super hero, and he's absolutely right; were it not for that collar, miss, we'd be long dead by now. Me especially, I'm sure; his hatred for me runs deep, as it should. And second, he has decent right to be so cocksure; he was a damned general before he was twenty. His military prowess, both behind a desk, giving orders, and on the field, dodging bullets, are nothing short of remarkable."

The doctor continued. "Short of that, I would need several more sessions to truly understand his inner-workings. He's severely depressive, and I fear extremely suicidal as well, but it seems he's helpless with that collar around his neck."

"Very well. Do you think it would do him well to be medicated?"

"One professional to another? Absolutely not. With what he's coping with, and how he describes what he's going through, I fear medication would either make it worse, or put him into a complete vegetative state. He speaks with intelligence and anger in his voice, but his eyes are empty. When he smiled at me, even though it was a wicked one, it's almost as if he did it out of habit than anything else. I would need more time with him before I'd feel comfortable prescribing him anything."

"He's quite strong, but I'm truly breaking him, aren't I?"

I began to laugh. Deep and throaty, it echoed through me. "Careful, Professor. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd developed feelings. And for me, of all creatures," I bellowed through the door. I exited the office, staring both parties down as I loomed over them in the door way. "Is this to become normal happenstance, Hojo? Am I to be placed in therapy for my lack of blood lust?"

Hojo opened and closed his mouth, and for one of the few times in my life I saw him without a witty or scathing remark to throw back at me. His eyes and face almost held a sad quality about them, but he shook his head and it was gone. "I detest failure. You were beat by a half-breed Cetra, and a failed clone. You were supposed to be perfect. Yet now, the only way I can get anything out of you, is because of that damned thing I put around your neck. You're being placed in therapy because I'm sick and tired of giving orders to what amounts to little more than a corpse. It's a damn good thing I forbade you from trying to kill yourself. I'll fix you, even if it turns my hair gray."

"Fix me? Make that clone you're cooking up in the other room your next project. Just let me die, Hojo. I've already tasted death's kiss twice. I'm a lost cause."

He stared me down. I was surprised he had such fire in him honestly. "You listen, and you listen well, dammit. I will not have something I've created fail. I will fix you. I will make you perfect. And that damned clone of you is just another step in the process of the master plan. I. Will. Perfect. You."

He was red-faced when he finished shouting, panting, eyes half crazed. I sighed, a distinct quality of sadness washing over me. "No matter what you do, no matter how you twist your science, I will fight you, tooth and nail, until I die. You told me once that you had the ability to control my mind as well as my body and my free will. If you're going to mind-fuck me, I'd suggest you do it sooner, rather than later. I hate you, and I will continue to hate you until I'm nothing more than rotting flesh. I will never submit. Never again will I spill blood of my own free will."

He looked like he wanted to shout, and yet the quality of sadness returned as his rage fizzled out.

"Get out of here. You'll know when I need you next."

Three weeks. Nine more sessions with the doctor. The dream encounter with Aerith had filled me with such hope, but session after session with the prim and proper Miss Larson and I was falling back into depression. I wanted out. Be it actual freedom, or sweet death, I didn't care, and I told her as much.

"Now, I was hoping we could delve a little into your past."

"You're the one with the degree, doctor." I liked to mock her in my subtle ways. She wasn't truly trying to help me, and so I wasn't truly investing in caring of how she thought of me. She was on Hojo's payroll, and, like his laboratory lap-dogs, only wanted his favor.

"Is there something distinctive that comes to mind when you were a child that could have possibly had a hand in molding you into who you became, who you've become?"

"Hojo."

"Hojo?"

"It's obvious you don't understand how sick and twisted the signer of your paychecks can be, so, despite the fact that I've been trying to educate you during our sessions, let me attempt to further enlighten you. When I was five, he taught me to speak Wutain. Not, however, in any normal capacity. I was given books about diction and grammar, about the syntax as well as how to write their complicated characters, and granted thirty days to study in my free-time, when I wasn't invested in Soldier or any other training. After one month, Hojo sat me down to have a conversation with him, using only Wutain. I stumbled over my words - such was fair, considering at the age of five I had force-learned a second language, when I was hardly proficient at the one we speak now. But the fact that I could communicate did not please the professor. No, he had expected me to be fluent by that time. And so I was starved for three days, beaten, and given harder, more complicated books to study.

Once, when I was eight, I woke up crying. I'd had a horrible nightmare; as any young boy should, considering the night before I'd ended my first life. Hojo came into the labs, thinking I was ill. When I told him about my nightmare, I was looking for comfort. I was met with a hard slap, and a lecture.

My two fondest memories are being given a single piece of candy, and of an orderly sneaking me a coloring book and crayons. I wasn't aware that there were books to read simply for the joy and pleasure of reading until I was twelve.

I knew that, from a young age, I was different, but to hear how different? Before my fall into insanity, I was convinced my mother was the alien creature Jenova.

And before this gets too depressing for you, doctor, let me tell you that, while I had a most gruesome childhood, I did well for myself past a certain age. Shinra got their claws into me, and while Hojo could meddle all he liked, when I was promoted to General I was Shinra's shining star, their perfect Soldier poster-boy. I had money, women, and power, despite still having to submit to lab tests when it pleased the professor. I know both good and bad times. So when I tell you that I want to end my life, Miss Larson, it is because I've seen the full spectrum. There is nothing left for me here, and even if there was... something to live for, however small, would not be enough to save me from myself."

I spoke of Aerith, without giving her away. I wanted to see her again. I was desperate.

But even my little flower wasn't enough to fight off the darkness within me.

"You've been consumed by darkness, Sephiroth."

"I haven't been _consumed _by it; I _am_ the darkness."

An entire month passed by before I was called again, short of being given food and the occasional blood-draw. When I asked where the doctor was, Hojo waved me off. He was smiling, and smelled of alcohol, which meant one of two things; he was happy, or he was enraged. And, given the way Hojo smiles, the situation could go either way.

"The clones are coming along nicely." Clones. Plural. Fuck, he was making more of them. Of course he was making more of them; he wasn't the type to leave well enough alone. "Did I ever tell you why I wanted the girl?"

"The girl?"

"The little Cetra?"

"Something about the promised land, I'm sure."

"Oh, don't be stupid, boy. The promised land is a myth; it's an idea of the afterlife. No, she was going to be a fine breeding candidate for you." He hiccuped, then wiped his mouth. "Could you imagine how strong your children would have been? With your power and strength, and the magic that flows in her veins? I suppose it's a pity I had to shoot Gast when I did."

"Gast?" My memories flickered over the taste of apple candy.

"Oh, yes, Gast. I shot him. He ruined my project. We had the last full-blood Cetra in our hands, and the bastard had to develop a conscious, and, worse yet, feelings for the woman. That little half-breed slum-girl that called the lifestream to save the planet - yes, the very same who shamed you - was the product of their stupidity. She's all that's left."

I took a deep breath, trying to hide my shock. If Aerith ever knew her father had worked in the scientific field alongside Hojo... Just imagining the look on her face was enough to make my chest ache. "Why did you call me here?"

A long, languid, cat-like smile spread across his face. "I'm waiting for a phone call. Any moment now. Then, we'll see what's to be done with you."

Another swig off the whiskey bottle. Another and another. Were it not for the fact that I had my body under control, Hojo might have thought me to be going into cardiac arrest. The monitors hooked up to my collar beeped at a steady pace, making it look as though I was calm and collected. But, that couldn't be farther from the truth. Based off the conversation, I didn't like where the situation might end up...

The phone rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Hojo's conversation was short and to the point, but he smiled the entire time, which did nothing to calm my nerves. He hung up the phone and laughed.

"One of my assistants saw the girl while he was on vacation. She's in Costa del Sol. The following are commands: you will being the girl back to me. You will not harm her in any way. You will not be seen nor heard, by anyone else save the girl if you can't prevent it, but if you are, kill them. And before you bring her back, you will find out who stole her from me, and you will kill them. "


	6. Falling Skies

Chapter Six: Falling Skies

I was outside of Costa del Sol by noon.

A million scenarios ran through my head - of how I'd greet her when first I saw her; of how she'd react upon seeing me - and they only made me feel ever the part of the fool. I didn't want her, I _needed_ her. It was like some kind of sickness; just thinking of her made my heart ache. I'd never known what it was to be in love before, not because I'd lacked time or had the concept of love beaten from me by Hojo, but because I'd lacked the heart for it. My flower girl had opened something inside of me that I was unaware had been locked before.

Which made my situation that much more dire.

Hojo had given me the means in which to take my own life. He'd commanded that I kill the one who stole Aerith from him before I brought her back. I wasn't truly given a time-frame to complete my tasks, either, but Hojo had forbade me from being seen or heard by any other being, which meant that, while I was in the city, or even simply near it, I had to stay invisible.

I was being forced to decide between love, or sweet, final freedom.

I couldn't be with Aerith. There was just no way, so long as the collar was around my neck, controlling my every move, threatening to take over my mind; as long as the collar was around me, she would never be safe.

Thus, the only way to make her safe was to end my life.

It was both what I wanted, and what didn't.

I would tell her what was happening. I would take her somewhere - anywhere, even to Cloud if that's what she wanted - so long as she was safe. And then, I would kill myself.

There was no other way.

Despite knowing that I could not change my mind, the rest of the evening was spent wracking my brain for any other possible answer. I came up with nothing, even when the waxing moon was high against the starlit backdrop of the midnight sky.

I sensed her before I saw her. She walked through the gates of the city and up the hillside. A small, battery operated lantern hung from one hand, swinging with each of her steps. The moment I saw her, my heart ached with so much intensity I felt I would be sick from it.

She reached the hilltop, turned to take a deep breath, and smiled against the gentle breeze. Then, she froze, her head snapping toward me. She took a single step before I knew I had to stop her.

"Don't," I whispered.

I watched as she swallowed, fighting back her emotions. "But..."

"We don't know who is watching, who is listening. Act as you normally would, and I will follow you." I found myself so close to her, so careful to make sure nothing could hear me, that I was nearly pressed against her. My breath cascaded down her ear and neck, and I was, admittedly slightly ashamedly, delighted when she shivered and goosebumps rose on her porcelain skin.

It took her a moment, as if she wasn't sure she wasn't dreaming, before she turned around. She sat amongst the flowers, took a deep breath, and sighed. If I weren't so close to her, I wouldn't have noticed her trembling.

To be so close to someone, and yet unable to touch them- how my heart ached. It's true that one don't understand love until it tramples you into the dirt, and my story was no exception. Close enough to touch, yet unable to reach out.

I wished that we didn't have to be so careful, so secret. But one wrong move and she might be back in Hojo's clutches again. After all, we were close enough to the city wall that a pair of decent binoculars would make perfect spying tools, yet I remained far enough away that I was unable to see if someone was truly watching us or not. Hojo's lackey had found her; who was to say they weren't keeping constant tabs on her still?

Still, the following hour spent sitting next to her - able to smell her, feel warmth roll off her and yet remain helpless, unable to touch her - was miserable. She sighed and fidgeted, though kept a straight face all the all, I'd warned her of looming danger, and I'm sure it was doing nothing to calm her.

After an hour, she stood, dusted off her pants, and sighed. "Stay close," she whispered.

She didn't have to tell me. I was practically at her heels the entire walk back, slightly impressed that I'd avoided stepping on her given how close I was. As we walked through the flowers together, I marveled in how small she was compared to me, how, when standing, her head was even with my heart.

And yet, I knew her full potential, all of the hidden power within her.

Once past the city gates, a warm cacophony of greetings met Aerith, and she returned every one, inquiring after a sports game here, or someones' husband there. She was a social butterfly, yet acted perfectly normal, as if there wasn't an invisible monster behind her. The bars were still open all across the town, despite the late hour, and I understood why she'd gone to the flower field every night without fear; it was easy to see she'd made a mess of friends, and that none harbored her ill. Or at least, none that I could see. So many people seemed to know her, it was little wonder that someone might eventually recognize her. Pity it was someone from Hojo's lab, and rather not one of her companions.

She led us through a few back alleys, and up a set of stairs that overlooked a small cafe. She fiddled with her keys, and I saw that she was still trembling, nearly dropping the keyring. She opened the door and together we slipped inside.

I turned to face her, still invisible. She reached out, flicking the light switch, and I saw her in the light for the first time in nearly four months. Her eyes were the size of saucers, her jaw clenched tight, hands in front of her chest.

Impossibly slowly, she reached a hand out and placed it against my chest. The moment she made contact, I shed my invisibility. She gasped, took a step back, and then sprang into my arms, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed against my neck. "I'm so sorry."

To say that I was dumbfounded would be making lite of the situation. I placed my hands on the small of her back and looked down at her. "Aerith, what on Gaia do you have to be sorry for?"

She refused to let go. "I left you there, in that den of lions. I didn't even try to help set you free. Then, when you left me here... I wish I'd done something to help you sooner. Half a world away, and I could still feel your heart breaking every time you were sent to kill."

I stepped her backward until she was against the door, then leaned my elbows against it to ease the weight of my feet. "Little flower, you did what any other sane being did; you didn't open the lion's den."

Pulling away just enough to look at me, she wiped her eyes and hiccuped. "What?"

"I killed you. I razed towns. I tried to take over the planet. I would have seriously questioned your sanity, had you helped me remove the damned thing around my neck before I set you free."

She shook her head. "You wouldn't."

"Perhaps not now, but when I first stole you away..."

Another shake of her head. Still, she shuddered in my arms, then pressed her face against my chest. "Would it be terribly strange to admit that I missed you?"

I ran a hand through over her hair, down the back of her neck. "Of course not." How I'd ached for her.

"Good. I missed you."

"And I you, little one." I couldn't bring myself to speak of what needed to be done. Not yet. Not after only moments together. "Tell me of your life here, of what freedom you've found."

She eased away from me, pulled out of my grasp, and guided me into the kitchen, wiping her tears on her sleeves. "I don't like to lie, but given my circumstances, I wasn't given much choice. I told whoever asked that I'd escaped an abusive family, which was why I couldn't walk well when I arrived. At first, I thought I might buy passage to Cosmo Canyon, but one of the locals at the cafe I stopped at for lunch heard me, and offered up this place for low rent. I found a job not long after that." She bustled around the kitchen, inviting me to take a seat at the breakfast while she took two mugs from a cupboard. "Raspberry or huckleberry?" She asked, holding up two boxes for me to look at. Ah, she was asking if I'd like tea.

"Raspberry."

She set the kettle on the stove and continued. "I work at a flower shop, and I love it. I get to be around flowers all day, and sunshine lights up the whole store. I grew up under the plate, so sunlight wasn't an every day experience. Which is likely why I get sunburned so easily, but I don't mind. I never really had the chance to visit a beach before, either, so I've been learning how to swim, too." The look of serene contentment she wore pleased me.

"You do look a little more tan than I remember," I mused, setting my elbows on the table and resting my chin in my hand.

"What about you?"

"Don't change the subject. Tell me more; I want to hear all of it."

She adjusted the knob on the stove a bit, weighing the silence between us, before she began to speak once more. "I've been learning how to make all kinds of new dishes. I wish I'd known you were coming; I haven't been to the market, so I've just been eating leftovers."

"Was that really you, in my dream?" I blurted.

The look I was given was all bewilderment. "Of course it was me. What did you think it was?"

I shook my head, sadly. "I hadn't slept in nearly three months. I thought I'd truly lost my mind."

"Don't you remember?"

I cocked my head to the side. "Remember what?"

"When I lured you to the Forgotten City, in Cloud's dream, when I told him goodbye. I purposefully took you into the dream so you'd hear what I'd planned. Though, to be honest, I hadn't meant Cloud to see you. Your subconscious was far more powerful than I had prepared myself for."

I looked at her with a look so blank, it might make a dead man jealous. "You're simply full of your little surprises, aren't you?"

Shrugging, she pulled the whistling kettle from the stove and poured two mugfuls of hot water. The instant the tea bags touched the water, red coloring seeped across it like so much spilled blood.

"I guess it's just not something we've openly talked about before. I don't mean to offend you."

I shook my head, sipping my warm, sweet tea. "No, my dear, no offence is taken. I'm simply impressed regarding all of the things I don't know about you."

She fidgeted, and I had the distinct feeling she was thinking of the stolen kisses we'd shared while sprawled out on my kitchen floor.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

She nodded. "I stargaze when I can, I sunbathe when there is time, and I enjoy the work I do."

"And what of your free time?"

"I've been trying to learn to dance."

"To dance?" I leaned forward in my chair, taking another sip of tea.

"I'm no good, even after practicing whenever I can. I've got two left feet, I swear," she giggled. "I can grow flowers with the best of them, but I'd rather eat dirt than show what I've learned to anyone outside the dance academy." She turned her eyes to me, and I saw the sorrow behind them. "And what about you?"

Ah, so there would be no escaping her questions.

"Terribly." I took another sip of tea. I hadn't meant my answer to sound so melodramatic, but found I couldn't help what had tumbled out of my mouth.

I was given a sad look. "I... I know."

Another sip. "Do you now?"

"I could feel your heartache half a world away. I can see the souls that follow you."

"Ah. How many of them are there?"

"Seven."

"I've killed Eight, since I left you here. I apologize for all of them, but for you, specifically, Ember. It seemed, when last I saw you from the ocean, you knew who I'd come after."

Aerith shook her head. "I should be mad at you, but I know you didn't do it because you wanted to. Ember was always a little... eccentric. Many of the locals had known her since she was small, and there were rumors floating about that she was some kind of witch. Even so, for her to be found the way she was..."

I looked away and sighed. "I don't suppose you could put them at ease for me?"

Aerith set down her tea and walked around the counter, a sad smile on her pretty, pink lips. "Of course not." She came to stand in front of me, and I placed my hands out, palms up. My eyes floated close as hers did, and we took a deep breath in unison.

"They're angry."

"Of course they are. I don't blame them."

"But through the anger I can see sorrow. They keep talking about some kind of garden."

I made a noise of affirmation as I let down my mental walls. When it had been Kenna's spirit tailing me, I'd been able to feel the slightest of whispers when I'd first let my walls down. But with so many of them circling me like water circling a drain, even I could hear their muffled voices.

"Oh, there are seven!" Aerith's fingers dangled above my palms, gently brushing against my skin. "The last one isn't angry so much as it's upset. They are all yelling at me, though, and it's hard to hear what they are trying to say."

"I can name all of them, I know their faces, too. I apologized to each before I ran my knife across their necks."

"At the very least, they seem pleased with the fact that you hadn't forgotten them."

"Nero, Stefan, Kain, Luke, Tripp, Willow, Zara, and Desmond."

"Let your walls down, just a little more."

The seven spirits dissipated, but not before I felt a profound guilt and sadness wash over me. Then, I took a deep breath and let her in, pulling her into the recesses of my mind, shivering at the sensation of her consciousness gliding over mine. I didn't bother covering anything up. I let her see everything; the killings; my sessions with the doctor; my secret garden and, yes, even the statue of her I'd placed in the center. I opened up my sorrowful heart and let her see everything that had transpired since she'd left, let her gaze upon and feel the pain I'd gone through and why, in the end, taking my life was the only option. It saved me time and frustration trying to explain it to her, knowing that, because she couldn't see what I'd gone though, couldn't feel my pain, she wouldn't understand otherwise.

As Aerith combed through my thoughts and memories, I felt her slump against me. So long as our physical contact wasn't broken, neither would our mental link be shattered.

What would have taken hours to explain verbally, I shared with Aerith months of torture and deep depression in a matter of moments. When she closed off our link, her body went completely limp in my arms and she sagged against me. Despite her weakened state, however, she clung to me and sobbed. "No," she struggled to lift her head to look at me.

Carefully, I picked her up and searched the house for the bedroom. Drying flowers hung from the wall above her bed, and the room smelled sweet, like a meadow after the rain. Tears were running freely down her face, and her tiny body quaked in my arms. I placed her on the bed, but she let out a helpless, wailing mewl when I tried to pull away from her. "No. No, please-"

"You're in no condition to try and convince me to change my mind, flower girl. I'll be here when you wake, and we can talk then." Even with the shared mental link, she still didn't understand. I mentally cursed.

She shook her head, tightening her grip on my shirt three fold. I sighed and climbed into bed with her, taking off our shoes before I pulled the covers up and over us. Pressed half against me, half under me, Aerith cried until she fell asleep.

It was a novel idea, having someone cry for the sake of me. I wiped the tears from her cheek, careful not to wake her, before I tried to settle against her.

I found I couldn't.

After four months torn from her company, all I could do was marvel at her. How did something so small, so timid yet so brave, have such complete power over me? I suddenly regretted sharing my heart with her; she would try to convince me to stay alive, that something could be done about the wretched piece of machinery around my neck. She would try to give me hope, when it would only drive me deeper into despair.

I should have told her that I needed to take her somewhere safe, and avoided the bit about suicide. She would have listened to me. Perhaps then, instead of holding her as she cried for me, I would have trapped her between the mattress and my body for an entirely different reason.

Ah, but how I only tried to fool myself. I could never have her. I knew that now, as I looked down upon her tear-streaked face.

I sighed, rested my head in the crook of her neck, and let myself simply be.

When I woke up, it was only due to tiny fingers running through my hair. I opened my eyes to be greeted with the dawn, and with the emerald-deep eyes of my flower girl.

"You can't kill yourself."

I shook my head. "I'll take you somewhere safe, and then end my life. It's the only way. What if Hojo sends me to kill you, Aerith? Then what?"

"You don't understand. You can't kill yourself. Hojo would just bring you back."

Every last hope for final salvation dried from me, and with it, every hope I'd dared to keep. She was right. As soon as Hojo discovered I was no longer with the living, he'd use his sick science to bring me back. And the body he'd put me back into would be that of-

"The clones."

Aerith nodded her head against me.

The very idea that I'd been so caught up in obtaining the sweet, final kiss of death that I didn't stop to think about the idea that Hojo had pulled me from past the grave already.

My whole body began to convulse, and the world spun under me.

Regardless of the mess my mind was in, however, my body was set to work against me. Like a machine, I sat up and reached for my boots. I pulled my hunting knife from the sheath and raised my hands toward my neck.

Aerith gasped, then sat up and reached for me. She put her hands on my wrists and pulled. "What are you doing? Stop! Sephiroth, no!"

I had been duped into thinking that death was anything close to freedom. I barked out a bitter laugh, despite using all of the strength in my body to postpone the inevitable. "Hojo had ordered me to kill the one responsible for setting you free. I'm the one. He's ordered me to kill myself. But I'd been so bent on self-destruction that the collar didn't need to make me do anything. Now that I know that I can't kill myself, the collar is still making me follow orders. What a terrible little loophole."

I looked into her eyes, saw past the fear and terror as she pulled with all of her strength, trying to wrench the knife free from my hands.

"Aerith, you need to leave this place. Seek your friends; they will keep you safe."

"NO! Fight it!" she screamed.

I leaned down and stole one last, sweet kiss. She was shaking under my lips, crying and sobbing and panicking all at once. "I'm sorry for all of the hurt I've caused you, little one. And know this; that, as I die, even when I'm reborn, my feelings for you won't change. You've taught me to love, and I won't forget it."

Her hands flew to the collar around my neck, and she screamed in pain while trying to tug the thing free from my neck. I smelled burning flesh, but couldn't move to pull her hands free from the device.

As I felt the knife plunge into my neck, as I felt warm blood cascade down my chest and pool in my lap, I smiled down at her.

"I love you," I mouthed as my world faded to black.

The last thing I heard while alive was the sound of my heart breaking. 


	7. Hushed Meadow

I fully apologize for the lengthy time span between this and my previous update. I became ill for a while, then never really recovered, blah blah blah real life. Anyway, I'm am well into the next chapter, so don't expect such a long gap from here to the next. I appreciate all of your reviews; your well wishes warm me down to my toes. Please enjoy, and thank you for reading my work.

Chapter Seven: Hushed Meadow

I felt stiff. Every last inch of me - every last atom that made up the composition of _me_ - screamed out in unified agony as my chest tightened, I convulsed, and coughed. I spat up blackness, likely old blood, and tried to stop it from falling out of my mouth. I was in hell; where else could I be, drowning in such pain?

But the reassuring touch of little hands on my face and shoulders, taking the hair from my eyes and holding it back as I proceeded to hack up every last breath of air I'd ever taken, helped to ease me. I might have been in hell, but somehow an angel found pity enough to tend me. I was shushed, and a warm, wet washcloth touched my face, wiping away the tears that were forced from my eyes in my anguish.

As the pain began to fade, the world around me began to refocus. It took severe concentration, but over a long period of time - most of which was unfortunately interrupted by more coughing fits on my part - I realized that a smoking fire pit was, in fact, not where I was currently housed. It was a quaint bedroom with all manner of flora decorating the walls. The smell of heather and roses didn't do much to ease the pain or coughing, but it was reassuring. After all, the devil wouldn't be into flower pressing, would he?

To be fair, I've lived through things far more bizarre.

"Can you hear me this time?"

Despite the sharp shocks, the feeling of tiny needles sticking the back of my neck, as I turned my head to look up, when I met the eyes of my flower girl nothing else mattered. The pain faded, and I was too shocked to continue the coughing fit I'd been only moments before struggling through.

"Aerith?"

Tears instantly began to spill down her cheeks. She nodded, biting her lower lip in an attempt to keep from crying out.

"Gods and angels - I'm alive?"

Another nod, but this time instead of simply looking at me, she looped her arms around my neck and pressed her face against mine. I could tell she was struggling to speak, but what words she had prepared for me were garbled under her tears.

The pain that had immobilized me earlier slowly began to creep up my spine. When it hit my shoulders, I had little other option than to pull her hands away - no matter how it pained me to lose her touch - and lay flat. "It hurts. Everywhere, it hurts." It was an enormous strain on my entire body just to speak.

That's all it took. Aerith closed her eyes, clasped her hands together, and let her body relax. A green light surrounded me, and I could feel the healing powers of her Cetra heritage course through me. Slowly, the pain began to fade, though it never completely dissipated. After what felt like eons, the light faded and, when it was completely gone, Aerith opened her eyes. She wiped the tears from her face, looked to me, and smiled so genuinely that my heart tightened. "Hi," she said through her smile.

I let out a long sigh, a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "Hi," I responded, tired.

She shook her head and leaned over me, pressing her face to my chest. "I thought I'd lost you. I thought you were gone. I've never pulled someone back when they've been that far taken by the lifestream."

"Now, now; you know I'm harder to kill than that. Well, perhaps not so much hard to kill as unable to stay dead."

She smacked my arm. "Don't joke about that."

I almost argued the truth behind the statement, that I was not joking and was, in fact, completely serious, but I somehow came to understand it likely wasn't the best idea for conversation. I decided on something with less perceived gallows humor behind it. "How long have I been out?"

"A little under a day. I'm honestly astounded that you're awake." She sat up, but still remained close. I could smell her; how had I forgotten how wonderful she smelled?

"And the collar?"

She met my eyes, but there was guilt behind them. "I've since tried to take it off, but I've been scared to touch it. I tried to take it off before you ran the knife across your neck, and it burned me. I'm a little afraid to tough it again. I don't know anything about how it works, but you can see for yourself that the materia is cracked."

"Cracked?"

Aerith nodded in affirmation. "I can't feel any magic pouring out of it; it's completely dead. It's like the collar is working, but the materia burnt out."

Carefully, I raised a hand to my neck and touched the metal ring around my throat. Under my fingertips, I could still feel the buzzing flow of electricity and circuits. But when I took a deep breath, readying myself to let loose a strain of words most foul, cursing Hojo down to his very shoes, I registered a feeling I hadn't been previously aware of since I woke.

It was a strange sensation, and it took me a few moments to register it. I'd grown so used to the collar that I hadn't noticed the nagging feeling at the back of my mind that, apparently, complimented the materia. Now that it was cracked, it was like I was breathing clean air for the first time, after forgetting what it was like; like there had been a pressure on my chest steadily gaining weight that was, now, unexpectedly lifted. There was no pressing at the back of my head, no overbearing need to perform whatever task Hojo had commanded of me. Nothing.

I was so relieved I began to shake. "I can't feel it. I can't feel the call. I didn't even know it was there until it was gone."

She took my hands in hers. "You're free?"

After a long pause, one in which I wanted with all of my being to scream yes throughout, I found I couldn't. "I don't think I can ever be free so long as Hojo lives."

Her face paled, and her grip on my hands loosened. "You can't. Spilling his blood would only perpetuate the hate he's created in you. If you give in and end his life, you'd only keep the circle of death he's tied you to going."

"There's more to it than that, Aerith. He's evil incarnate. If the devil wears the skin of a man, it's him. If he's left alive, planet be damned; have you any idea what he's capable of?"

Her brow furrowed in frustration. "The only one who knows better than me is you, but I can't - I won't - condemn a man to death."

I wanted to chide her for all the goodness that ran through her. Hojo _had_ to die. I could never again rest so long as he was left breathing. I would forever watch over my shoulder for him, never able to truly rest or sleep peacefully. But, no matter how I argued with her, I knew she would not submit. She was twice as stubborn as I was, and no matter how sweet my words, there would be no persuading her.

Sighing, closing my strained eyes momentarily. "I don't want to argue with you about this, at least not now. I'm too tired and sore to think on the matter clearly."

She nodded in understanding, but the look set on her face informed me that our discussion was far from over. "Are you hungry?" She changed the subject.

My attention turned toward my stomach. I was, indeed, famished. I nodded weakly up at her, feeling feeble and helpless.

But she must have read my face wrong, for she smiled and told she would bring me something. I heard her fussing about in the kitchen, water flowing on and off, spoons scraping at the bottom of pots. The smell that eventually faded down the hall and into the bedroom nearly lifted me out of my seat.

When she returned, she carried with her a large, steaming bowl of hot soup and a fresh slice of bread. I thanked the stars under my breath, then my flower for her generosity. But after helping me sit up, when I reached out to grasp the bowl she offered me, I found my arms had no strength in them. It was tiresome just clenching my fists.

Without making a fuss, she slid into the bed next to me and offered me a spoonful of soup. I was still not used to the kind generosity of others, and being fed because I lacked the strength to feed myself made me angry at the situation. I was one of the most powerful beings on the planet, yet I had been reduced to being spoon-fed while in bed, feeble and unable to close my hands.

But my flower thought otherwise. She simple continued to smile at me, making sure the soup didn't spill. "It's backwards."

"What is?" I asked after I had finished chewing.

"We are. Or don't you remember? You had to feed me like this when you first rescued me."

I did, in fact, remember. I remembered marveling at how something so tiny and weak could have bested me, but I kept that bit to myself. After extended time in her company, I knew that she was far from weak. If I was darkness, she was light; night compared to day, and in her all of the strength of the sun itself. "Yes, I remember. I wasn't entirely sure you would make it, to be honest. Did you make this bread?"

She nodded, not paying close attention to the way I had moved the conversation elsewhere. "I've been cooking as often as I can for myself. It's like my body can't take preservatives and the like any longer. Not that ate much stuff like that before. I grew as much as I could for my mom and I when I lived in the slums."

"Have you contacted your mother?"

The spoon stopped halfway to my mouth. "No," she answered, sadly, then brought the spoon the rest of the way to my mouth. "I haven't sought out anyone from my old life."

"But they are your friends, aren't they? Surely they would be happy to see you."

I'd struck some kind of nerve. She was quiet until I had finished the soup, and longer after that, playing with the spoon and the empty bowl. Finally, she sighed and looked up at me.

"If they knew that I was alive, and by Hojo's hand, they would suspect that you would be, too, even if I tried to hide it. And if Hojo was caught, I feared he'd kill you before he let anyone else get to you. It's why, even after these long months away from you, I haven't talked to any of them. I'm worried no one would believe that you were the one who had rescued me. If Hojo didn't kill you, I was afraid... I -am- afraid that Cloud would go after you. Even if they did believe that you had saved me, Cloud... he doesn't always think everything through."

She reached up and wiped the quiet tears that were rolling down her cheeks. "Not a day since you left me here has gone by that I haven't wracked my brain for some way to get you free. I want to take the collar off of you, but if it's still recording your vitals then Hojo thinks you're under his control. But if you take it off, he'll go into hiding assuming that you're either free, or dead. If he suspects you're dead, and he tries to bring you back and fails, he'll know something happened. We can't win. What are we supposed to do?"

My flower, we are supposed to kill him. Ah, but I kept my thoughts to myself. "We have to find a way to corner him before he flees."

She nodded. "But I don't know if it's something we can do, just the two of us."

"Not the two of us, no. But just me; I can easily handle Hojo. So long as the collar is truly broken, that is." I remembered back to when I was momentarily faster than the collar, and had one sweet moment of squeezing Hojo's neck in my grip.

"What do you mean, 'just you?' I'm more than capable-"

"It's not that I think you're incapable. It's the fact that I refuse to put you in harm's way."

Her brow furrowed. "But I can help. I can-"

"Aerith, this is not about what you can and can't do. It's about my unwillingness to let harm befall you. I meant what I said before I slit my own throat; I love you. It will be a cold day in hell before I put you in a position that will endanger you."

Her face flushed the prettiest shade of pink, but my sweet words weren't enough to still her indignation. "So it's just fine for you to put yourself in danger?"

Had I strength enough, I would have leaned over and kissed her forehead. Instead, I sighed and sunk back further against the headboard. "When you can disarm a gang of elite, combat-trained killers on your own, when you can deflect a bullet with a sword, when you can fade in and out of the visible spectrum, we might speak of all the things you can do to help a situation such as this. But for now, please let me keep you safe. Nothing else could unnerve me in the face of danger other than thinking you might get hurt."

She sighed, fidgeted, but I knew I had won the argument. After a long, pregnant pause, she sighed, rubbed the back of her neck, and relented. "If there's anything I can do to help you, you'll tell me, right?"

"Aerith, there is plenty you can do to help; I simply want to keep you off the battlefield."

She nodded, stood and took the empty bowl and spoon to the kitchen, then returned, all the while remaining quiet. I knew that while I might have won that particular argument, it was only because she was seeing the reason behind my words; she was a magic user, not a fighter, and in close combat situations, there would be little aid she could offer. Not only that, but having her in the middle of any sort of fray would distract me. There would be no thoughts of disarming my opponent; only those of keeping Aerith safe, which would, in turn, likely plunge the both of us straight into the path of danger.

The sudden knock at the front door made me nearly jump from my skin. Aerith looked to the clock and shook her head. "Who's calling at such a late hour?"

"Don't answer it." I blurted. A terrible feeling rose in my stomach, and I had to stop myself from gagging.

She stood and gave my hand a pet. "I can't just ignore it. It's likely someone from work, or from the shop downstairs; I told everyone I was staying home ill today."

But she was out the door before I could catch her. She pulled a blanket from the dresser as she walked past it, threw it around her shoulders, and sighed, apparently trying to muster a lie.

Even though it nearly killed me, I rolled my body out of the bed and crawled, like some kind of sick animal, out of the bedroom door. I remembered to phase out of the visible spectrum just moments before Aerith opened the door.

"Oh, Aeri- you really caught something nasty, didn't you?"

The words sounded friendly enough, but when I looked up to see who spoke them, blood chilled in my veins. I knew that voice, that face; it was one of Hojo's little lap dogs, one of the lab assistants so to eager to please him. I didn't know his name - I'd never heard it, nor cared to pay enough attention to catch it - but I knew his visage.

I tried to summon Masamune to my side, but found all strength had left me. I hardly had enough in me to keep on my hands and feet. I was inching across the floor, praying to the stars themselves, asking them, begging them, to keep Aerith safe as I could not.

My fears were never escalated, however; the boy was a complete gentleman the entire time he spoke to my flower.

"I'm sorry you're sick," he offered. "I thought you could use a friendly face. Is there anything you need, anything I can do for you?"

"I appreciate your concern, but I'll be alright. I was just about to go to bed, actually; I wasn't expecting company."

He nodded, and what was meant to look like an awkward pause in the conversation was truly a cover; he was plotting. Should he grab her now, or wait for instructions from Hojo? His master, after all, had sent me after the girl in the first place; what did this boy reason to lose simply by overstepping his orders, regardless of how wonderful the prize might be? Hojo would be ecstatic over getting Aerith back in his clutches, of course, but given how truly strange and messed up he was, it wouldn't surprise me if his anger would ignite over the fact that he might have ordered the boy to merely observe Aerith, not capture her, so for him to return with her after he'd been ordered to simply wait...

I watched as he looked around the house, scanning for anything out of the ordinary, disguising his observing with an awkward smile in the lull of the conversation. The rest of their words might as well have been in another language for all I listened. All I could see was red; I wanted little more than to wring the boy's little neck. Had he no idea the harm he helped perpetuate? Or was he, like Hojo, simply immune to human emotion?

They said their goodbyes, and Aerith made a show to walk around the house and turn out the lights. Once the apartment was dark, and I could no longer feel another life presence outside the door, I phased back and collapsed.

"What are you doing out here?" she panicked, rushing to my side.

"He's one of Hojo's lab assistants," I gasped, trying to pull air into my lungs; it felt as though someone was sitting on my chest.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"The boy, at the door. He's one of Hojo's little lap dogs." She helped me roll to my back, resting my head in her lap.

I watched as she fretted. Her brow furrowed, she frowned, and sighed heavily. "Are you sure?"

"As sure as the sun is to rise in the morning. I don't know his name, but I will never forget his face, or the faces of any of the others under Hojo's employ. He helped hold me down as this infernal collar was placed around my neck."

Another heavy sigh. Her fingers shook as she ran them through my hair. "That's how Hojo knew where to find me. His name is Lukka, and he's been coming into the shop where I work for the past week or so. He said he was on vacation with his family; I thought he... I thought he might just like me, since he was in so often. Some of the other girls in the shop have had admirers before, I thought..."

Silly girl, always so trusting. Humans were nasty creatures; when might she come to understand such?

"How did you make it all the way out here?" she changed the subject, looking down at me.

I took a deep breath, aching all over. "I wanted to make sure you were safe." I was glad I could see, even in the low light. Though the apartment wasn't lit with more than a nightlight in the kitchen and the stars and street lights from outside, I could still see the shade of pink that flushed her skin. She spoke her mind, but was embarrassed by such professions of truth? I smiled under her fingertips.

Yet, I knew not to tease her. "Would you mind helping me sit on the couch? I very much wish to see the stars from the window. It's been so long since I've been able to simply look."

Without a word, she helped me up and, even though I knew I was mostly dead weight, took me to the couch. She sat me down, and to be honest, I was so overcome by the night sky that I didn't notice when she left the room, but when she returned, she placed a cool wash cloth on my forehead. "You're a little warm," she explained. I thanked her, and turned back to the stars.

Gently, as so not to disturb me, she sat down next to me so that our shoulders leaned against one another. "The first night after you'd brought me here, after I'd cried myself sick, I sat right here and looked at the moon until it wasn't in the sky any longer."

I smiled, considering I felt as though I could do the same. Minus the crying, or course. Manly man, and all that.

Slowly, I offered my upturned palm against her thigh. After a moment, she rested her hand in mine, and for a long stretch of night we simply were. I don't know how, but I managed to pull some of my strength back that night. Just sitting next to her, knowing I had a chance to escape the life I'd been leading for so long... It was so empowering that it made my skin prickle. I had love, and the stars scattered across the night sky; for the first time in my life, I simply let myself be. I was not a man, nor a monster; I was just a speck of consciousness in the swirl of the galaxy, one with the stars and the comets and the dust.

Eventually, however, my precious flower began to fade, slowly giving in to the temptation of sleep. "I fear we need to rest," I finally, too, gave in. It would do neither of us any good were we too tired to function the following day.

With less effort than it had taken to get me to the couch some time ago, Aerith helped me back to the bedroom. She rinsed out the washcloth and brought it in for me as well, and, with a yawn, she asked if there was anything else that I needed.

"To not be alone tonight."

She went quiet, but didn't hesitate. She lifted the covers on the opposite side of the bed, curled up next to me, and I felt her body relax as she drifted off to sleep. Even though she wasn't awake, I gathered her hands in mine, brought them to my face, and simply basked in the warmth of her skin. I too was asleep within moments, though it felt like hardly minutes before I awoke to the glare of bright sunlight flooding the room.

I felt better. Not amazing, but better; no pain, no underlying sluggish mental function. I wasn't ready to leap from the bed and sprint around the room, but I felt well enough that I could stand and walk about.

Stretching and meeting the morning, I yawned. Looking over, I saw that Aerith was already awake, though the look that marred her features made me worry. "What is it?"

"Won't they get suspicious if I don't show up to work today?"

I sighed. "I don't want that young man to have reason to come by this place again. I think you should go about your daily tasks - work, and whatever else it is you do during the day - as you normally would, to avoid rousing any unwanted attention."

Her brow furrowed. "But what if-"

"You won't be going alone. I'll follow you, unseen."

Her face remained unchanged. "But your body - have you healed enough?"

"I don't know what you did, or if my body is simply healing itself at a far faster and better rate than it ever has before, but I feel well enough to keep an eye on you today. We need time to plan. If you go to work to make it look as though I'm still out hunting the supposed person who took you, then we make this ruse look convincing."

She sighed, obviously not completely appeased by the plan, but, given that we had little time to think of anything else, she stood and began rifling through her dresser drawers. "I need to take a shower before I go, but you're welcome to anything in the kitchen while I'm in there. I think I'll make it a point to stop at the market and talk to some of the locals after work; not only to get food, but to make sure that as many people as possible see me out and about, too."

I nodded; it was a sound plan, even if not much of a plan at all.

Once I heard the shower water flowing, and the shower curtains being pulled closed, I made my move. She might not want to contact her old friends for fear of my safety, but if she wouldn't allow me to outright return to the lab and wring Hojo's neck, we needed added brainpower and know-how.

Good thing that the Shinra HQ Building has never changed its information line.

In the kitchen, I found Aerith's phone and dialed a number I hadn't punched into a phone in over a decade. It was a little foreign, and while it may have been a bit of a shot in the dark, it was the only thing I could think of.

"Thank you for calling The Shinra Electric Company's head office. How may I direct your call?"

"Yes, please transfer me to the office of Reeve Tuesti."

"Right away. Please hold."

A little light jazz for their hold music? That didn't suit Shinra. Perhaps it was Reeve's doing, then.

"This is the office of Reeve Tuesti. May I ask what this call is about?" Ah, a female secretary.

"Yes. Mr. Tuesti lost a little pink flower some years ago. I've called out of concern."

"Please hold."

More jazz. Definitely not a Shinra approved hold line soundtrack, but I was slightly appeased over the idea that it wasn't that trash they played in the elevators when I ran their army.

"This is Reeve. My secretary said something about a pink flower? Are you sure you're talking to the right person? I'm not much of a horticulturist."

"For her, you had changed your mind. You see, she was a very kind and just flower, though she was plucked before she was ready."

The silence that stretched through the phone was enough to allow me to paint a mental picture of how shocked his face might be.

"Who... Who is this?"

"It makes little difference as of right now. All that you need to know is that the flower has sprouted roots and is blooming once more. Charter the next flight to Costa del Sol. Make sure you're not followed, nor that you tell anyone of the nature of your flight. When you arrive, wait at the west terminal station, under the neon sign of the frog in a martini glass for further instructions. Come unarmed."

"Wait, I-"

"I've no time for games, Mr. Tuesti. Come unarmed, as fast as Shinra Air can fly you, or else the fate of your flower might once again be to wither away."

That would get his attention. I hung up the phone as I heard the water valve shut off. I knew I was taking a fantastic risk, but it was either risk or nothing at this point. If Aerith wouldn't allow me to kill Hojo, something else would have to be done with him. I'd called from a cell phone, and I knew that Reeve would lack the time to try and get any information triangulated before leaving. Even so, Cloud and her other friends would find out about our reincarnation at this rate eventually; why not simply tell them on our terms?

I popped a few pieces of bread into the toaster as I waited for Aerith to exit the bathroom. Before the toast rose, however, she called me from down the hallway. "The shirt you were wearing when you arrived got all bloody, and I can't get the dratted stains out. But I still have that shirt of yours I was wearing when you brought me here. Come in here; it'll just take me a second to find it."

I entered her bedroom as she up-ended one of her dresser drawers onto her bed covers. "It's in here somewhere, I just know it." She was talking more to herself than to me.

She paused, thinking. Then, she stuck her arm under her pillow, dug around for a moment, and then pulled a wad of white fabric. She smiled at me, then tossed it over the bed. I caught it in one hand, but continued to look at her. "Why was it under your pillow?"

She instantly flushed pink, and I felt as though I'd asked a question I shouldn't have. Despite her obvious embarrassment, she was the honest type. "It smells like you. I haven't washed it since I've been here. Whenever I could feel you break, or when I felt scared or alone, I would hold it against me and... pretend you were here with me." Her last words were quiet.

I was dumbfounded. Slowly, I walked until I was standing over her. Her eyes met with everything in the room, save for my own. I raised my hand and cupped her chin, bringing her face hardly a whisper away from mine.

"You truly missed me so?" I asked, though it almost sounded like I had begged.

She nodded, her eyes finally coming up to meet mine. Had I not been holding her face in my hand, I wouldn't have noticed her nod.

I swept my lips over hers, marveling in the taste; so soft, so full. Her eyes fluttered closed, though her hands tightly gripped one another.

Another kiss, and another and another; all sweeping, light, and almost fleeting. She was not some woman to be ravished, to be lusted after; she was an angel to be worshiped. I wound my hand around to the back of her neck, silently persuading her to relax in my grip.

The toast popped, and she nearly leaped out of my arms it had given her such a start. Instantly after she'd recovered, she began to laugh almost uncontrollably. I, too, found myself smiling.

Though I thought the moment to be over as I let my hands fall slack, I was pleasantly surprised when she reached up and placed her own palm to my chin, awarding me with a kiss of her own; sweet, simply, and only lasting a moment. "I'm going to be late; come on."

I pulled the shirt over my head, trying to convince myself that her going to work was actually the better of the two ideas what were floating about my head. We pulled the toast from the toaster, and munched on it, dry, as she put on her shoes.

Before we left her apartment, however, she turned to me, looking slightly worried. "You're sure you're up for this, and that it's the best idea?"

"I'm more than functional now. And it's not the best idea, no; but given our time constraints, and how the rest of our situation is looking, it's the only one we have."

She nodded and swung the door open as I phased invisible, allowing me enough room to squeeze behind her and out into the open air. For a coastal town, the air was hot and dry. The streets ran thick with dust as the sun beat down mercilessly from overhead. It was a stark contrast to what I'd grown accustomed to in the dark, cool confines of my underground prison.

I followed close behind her as she walked through the streets. She waved to some of the locals, thought she didn't stop to chat. It's no secret that I'm not a sociable person, yet I liked to watch my flower bloom and smile. Behind her smile, however, I could see some of her wariness. Reeve wouldn't arrive until nightfall, even if he charted the fastest vehicle Shinra had in Midgar, which left plenty of time for Aerith to be seen my the locals and return home, safe and sound. Though, to be honest, if Hojo's little lap dog showed up again I would find it difficult to keep my rage contained.

Aerith was greeted with a warm welcome when she entered the flower shop. Two other girls smiled and asked how she was feeling before one of them handed Aerith an apron. "You're on arrangement today; just light work, until you feel your best again. Once you're done with the orders, you can go home."

Once settled in the back room, surrounded both by dried and freshly cut flowers alike, Aerith sighed. She began to work, and I watched; her fingers were nimble, and her eye for detail keen. Though I wasn't much for flowers, I wasn't one to be unappreciative of their beauty.

I hadn't noticed I'd moved so close to Aerith until she rolled her shoulders and bumped into my chest. "If you're going to stand so close, the least you could do is breathe in another direction," she whispered.

I smiled when I noticed the goosebumps on the back of her neck, caused by my hot breath falling down to her shoulders. I strongly fought the urge to kiss the bare skin where her her neck and her shin met, to press myself up against her backside.

Good God, I was thinking like an animal.

I chuckled and took a step backward. The time I would spend worshiping her was not now, not while she worked, and not while she was likely being closely scrutinized under Hojo's orders by his lab assistants. I would have her, but it would be on our own time, away from the rest of the world.

I watched as she continued to work, though this time at a decent distance away. Once she finished, she began to wipe the table clean and whisper. "I'm going to walk though the market on our way home. Be careful not to bump into anyone; I need to be seen out and about, remember?"

"I'll keep you safe," I whispered back, moving closer to lean over her, making sure that no one could hear me. I enjoyed the way the skin on the back of her neck flushed, perhaps a little too much.

She left the flower shop as the other girls were beginning to close it down. They wished that her good health would keep, and said their goodbyes. Aerith, careful to make sure that she stayed as close to the open streets as she could, began toward the market. While there, she chatted with several proprietors of various stalls, from vegetable and fruit sellers to the fishmonger himself. He laughed at some kind of inside joke they obviously shared, then wrapped cut, cleaned whitefish for Aerith.

At one time, I had prided myself in being an honorable man. This, however, wasn't one of those times. I carefully turned a bottle of wine and another of apple-flavored liqueur invisible and cradled them in my arms so that they wouldn't clink together. The bottles that I'd stolen weren't exactly on the cheap side, nor were they the most expensive on display. Given how the night would likely pan out, however, I felt that lifting a few drinks was a decent idea. When we weren't in such hot water, I vowed to return and pay the proprietor back, but for the moment resolved myself to simply walk away. Reeve seemed the type of man to enjoy a drink - most of the Shinra higher-ups usually were - and, considering the serious nature of our situation, I, too, felt that a good drink was in order.

Not long into our stroll at the market, however, did I notice a familiar pair of eyes following Aerith's every step. I wanted to alert her, but out of fear felt I couldn't speak to her in such a large crowd. The streets grew quieter and quieter, however, as we neared her apartment, and I began to make my move.

Carefully, I placed my hand on her shoulder. She didn't jump; it was like she'd been expecting it. Instead, she let me direct her a small dead-end. The moment no one could see us, I phased her out and we stood still next to one another, carefully watching the entrance to the alley.

Lukka peered around the corner and Aerith took a step back into me. Though the boy was looking right at us, there was no possible way he could see. I felt Aerith's heart-rate sky-rocket under my palm; fear and anxiety radiated off of her in waves, but I kept my wits about me and made sure she didn't turn to run. After all, fight or flight was such a strong instinct to ignore.

Eventually, Lukka gave up and kept walking. I leaned closer to Aerith, so close that my lips nearly brushed her ear. "I'm worried he's no longer working alone. I am going to quickly get us to the apartment, and when we arrive whatever you do don't lose your grip on me."

If Lukka was tailing us, it was likely because someone was busy bugging the apartment. It seemed like something Hojo would do; I was, quite honestly, surprised that it hadn't been done before.

Without making a sound, Aerith turned around, still hanging tightly onto me. I let her lean against me enough to get comfortable, and lifted us from the ground. It was nearly more trouble than it was worth; I hadn't realized that my strength was so fleeting. But the time I made it to the porch of her apartment, I was wheezing heavily. There was more to be done, however. Still gripping her tightly, I phased us through the front door. Then, letting my hand move down enough to simply grasp hers, I took a deep breath.

The sounds of machinery weren't unfamiliar to me. Growing up the lab, the sounds of monitoring equipment was what I most often fell asleep to. Despite the hum of the lights that lined the ceiling, or the buzz of the refrigerator kicking in, I focused my conscious effort in trying to find anything out of the ordinary.

There were three - one sitting on top of the refrigerator, nestled in a dried flower arrangement, another in the bookshelf, hidden by a chocobo book-end, and the last I could feel in the bedroom.

I took Aerith's hand and guided it to my waist and wrapped her fingers around the end of my shirt. With my now free hand, I took a deep breath and fell into further concentration. A deep breath, then another and another. At the back of my mind, I could feel Aerith's consciousness tentatively rubbing up against my mental wall, as if asking if I needed her strength. This was an easy enough task; I'd done the same thing when Aerith had taken off her blindfold unexpectedly, thought exploding light bulbs were far and again easier than shorting out surveillance equipment.

Reaching out with my will, I tore apart the internal circuits of the cameras. They all hissed, sputtered, then died. One by one, I took their dead weight in my hands and crushed them to pieces. Only after did I dare to phase visible again.

Much to my surprise, Aerith was shaking. However, she wasn't the type to place burden willingly on others, and the moment she let go of my shirt, she hurried off to the kitchen to finish putting away the groceries she'd acquired.

"Where did you get the drink?" she questioned, only now able to observe the bottles in my hands.

"I don't think you'd appreciate it if I told you the truth."

She scrunched her face, let out a sigh, then dug a few glasses from the cupboard. "You're likely right. Pour me some of the apple, would you?"

I did as she asked, though I was careful to only pour a little. I gave myself the same amount and watched as she gulped hers down.

"You need to relax, Aerith." I tried to make my voice sound as calm as I possible could when I spoke.

She shook her head, then sighed and nodded, looking down at her own, shaking hands. "What if you haven't realized that the apartment had been bugged?"

"To be honest, I had suspected it from the start. But, today, when I saw Lukka following you, I noticed he had an ear piece in. I figured it was likely someone else was giving him help, and concluded the worst. Though, I think that if this place had been bugged from the beginning, Hojo wouldn't have sent me after you. He's scared now, wondering why I haven't returned yet."

Her breath was shallow, and I could feel apprehension rolling off of her.

"Aerith, I need you to relax."

She looked to me, her eyes large and afraid. "What's going to happen to us? What are we going to do?"

To see her distressed only made me feel terrible. Here I was, calm and collected, as she fretted about like a little bird with clipped wings. I took the glass from her hand, placed it on the counter top, and laced her fingers through mine. Gently, I tugged her down the hall and pulled her into the bathroom where I sat her on the closed lid of the toilet. I bent over the bathtub and started the warm water, then snooped through her cabinets until I found fragrance-salt to pour into it.

"I want you to take a bath and let the water wash away all that you're fretting over. The world is not going to end, we are healthy, and we will find a way to make sure Hojo never again stands between us and freedom. Everything will be alright."

Tears were streaming down her face as she nodded up at me. "But, I- I mean, that's not - I'm sorry -" she stuttered, but I cut her off.

"For what? Having emotions? Don't. Take your bath, relax. Then, we'll talk."

"I'm sorry-"

I took her chin in my hand and made her look directly into my eyes. "Don't ever apologize to me, do you understand?"

She sighed, nodded, wiped the back of her hands across her cheeks, and forced a smile up at me.

"Good girl," I awarded her forehead with a kiss, then I closed the bathroom door behind me. In the kitchen, I took a piece of paper from the magnetic notebook on the the fridge and scribbled a note. Once the water had stopped in the bathroom, I called out to Aerith. "I'm stepping out for just a moment. I'll return before you're finished."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? What if they come back?"

"I won't be gone for long. Don't worry."

They knew she was no longer in the market, on the street, yet they didn't know, exactly, where she was; they wouldn't risk scaring her by sending someone in, especially given that Lukka had been by only the night before. Hojo hasn't yet ordered his lackeys to bring her back on what I assumed was the idea that they still thought me to be under control of the collar, meaning that they were still relying on my ability to remain unseen. Humans had the nasty habit of making a fuss of every little thing, and given how popular Aerith was with the locals, it wouldn't be long before someone missed her, if, that is, someone hadn't watched her be taken in the first place. To be honest, I was more than surprised that they'd bugged her house in the middle of the day. My bet was that they'd used a disguise, likely told the proprietor for the shop downstairs that they were checking the electric meter or the water pressure. But, Hojo had sent me, after all; if it was me that took Aerith, no one who witnessed the abduction would remain among the living for long, and I would have her out of the city and nearly to the next continent before anyone realized she was gone. There might be a little panic stirred by the fact that the bugs had been found and taken care of, but I had little doubt Hojo would think it the work of the one who rescued her in the first place, not me. Or, if he suspected me, he might consider that I was supposed to be tracking the one who'd set Aerith free and might have assumed the bugs were in place to keep her safe and not, actually, set by him.

The fact that she was still merely under observation made me confident that Hojo had no idea the materia in the collar was ruined. Still, it wasn't enough to make me feel safe for long.

I phased invisible and shot through the roof, but not before taking a handful of gil from the open jar Aerith had next to the fridge. I felt bad for taking her money, but quickly lost the thought; once this was all over, I could pay her back. I half wondered what shape my personal bank accounts would be in; those in my name were likely closed and the money taken by Shinra, but only a fool puts all of his eggs into one basket; I had numerous foreign bank accounts in names unassociated with my own that were likely still collecting interest. It was strange to think about eventually needing money; for so long, Shinra had taken care of nearly every need. Sure, I had a personal hideaway in both Junon and Mideel, but Shinra knew of those, too, and they were likely no longer under my name.

I vaguely wondered if, even after all of this and finally breaking free of my chains to the company, I could actually live a normal life.

What an odd thought.

Me, normal.

I set down in a darkened alley where several local children were kicking a ball against a wall. Without alerting them, I slowly phased visible, then stepped out when their ball rolled toward me.

"Kick it here, mister!" One of them called.

"I will, but I was wondering if you boys would like to earn a little extra money."

Most of them looked apprehensive, and given that I knew they couldn't make out my features I didn't blame them.

The tallest of the bunch, a little boy with crooked teeth and bare feet, stepped forward. "We don't want trouble, mister. We just want our ball."

I kicked the ball toward them, then held out my hand, offering them the money. "All I want is for you to deliver a letter for me."

The boy's eyes widened, and he held out his hands, though he didn't come quite close enough. His apprehension was well founded, and I didn't blame him for being frightened.

With my other hand, I held out the letter. "The man who I want you to deliver this to will arrive by plane, alone, around sundown. He'll be a little nervous looking, and likely wearing dark sunglasses. He's going to be hanging out under the sign with the frog in the drink glass. I want you to give this to him."

"That's it?" the boy asked, inching closer.

"Almost. When you give him the letter, tell him to give you the other half of the money."

All of their eyes widened. "We get more?" a little girl with a moogle doll clutched close asked.

I nodded, knowing that my promise of Reeve to pull through would ensure that the letter was delivered. I was taking a chance with the children, especially considering I honestly had little recollection of what Reeve actually looked like. The only thing scribbled on the note were directions to Aerith's house from where I told him to be, so that if someone else found the letter they wouldn't understand it - no street names had been used - and the words 'do not be seen.'

I knew that Aerith would have my head if she had any idea what I was doing. If she hadn't contacted Cloud and the other up to this point, she was likely more than reluctant to now. But. what we needed was help from within Shinra. If Reeve decided the best course of action was to bring Cloud and the others into the mix, then so be it.

So long as she was safe. That was all that mattered.

The leader of the little ruffians took the money and the letter from me. But I closed one of my hands around his before he could pull away.

"And if this gentleman asks who gave you the letter?"

The boy smiled, his crooked teeth showing past his dry lips. "A shadow."

I let go of his hands and disappeared, sealing the illusion. No one would believe street children if they talked of a man engulfed in shadow who paid them money to deliver a letter; it sounded like something children tell their parents, or other children, to make their lives seem more glamorous than it truly was. Life in poverty was hard for children; they money I gave them, and what Reeve would supplement them with, would likely mean their families could eat for some time.

I surveyed the streets carefully as I walked back to the apartment. The bugs in Aerith's apartment had me a little more paranoid than I would like to admit, but I felt that, no matter the problem at hand, I could take care of things. Even if taking care of things was throwing Aerith over my shoulder, flying back to Midgar, and gutting Hojo myself.

It bothered me that the deep-rooted animistic need that hot wired every atom in my body demanding that I wring Hojo's greasy neck was slowly being calmed and over-washed with the desire to keep Aerith, to please her. Perhaps it was me developing a soul - or, maybe, a little more of one, considering how much I'd managed to feel when I killed recently versus how many I'd slain before. Either that, or I was becoming domesticated, like a cat. She knew just where to scratch, no matter how fickle I might otherwise be.

That's love, a nagging voice at the back of my head reminded me.

I'd once thought that if love was made of so many sacrifices and compromises, I wanted little to do with it. Now, I wondered how I'd even managed to think such a thing. Although, given my upbringing, it's easy to understand my bleak outlook on the subject. She wasn't even mine yet, not wholly, though if she asked, I'd fly to the moon and pull it back for her. I hope she knew it, though I wouldn't mind showing her how deep my devotion went.

My leisurely, though unseen, walk back to the apartment proved to be useful. I was worried about the bugs and destroying them, of course, but lady luck decided to show her favor for a fleeting moment. Lukka, leaning against a post, was talking to a local merchant, and while his body language and face were relaxed, the stink of worry clung to his skin.

Oh, I'd have fun with this one.

Still completely invisible, I leaned in close. It had been since before I'd been slain by Cloud since I'd last had the chance to use my powers of manipulation. Thus far, I'd managed to keep my previous abilities, those that Jenova had bestowed upon me. I took a deep breath and brushed my consciousness against his, keeping my walls up entirely, but caressing his with the idea that going for a walk by the beach to clear his head sounded like a good idea. After all, with the bugs destroyed, it would be silly to risk replacing them so quickly.

And, wouldn't you know it, the man lacked a spine. Even before the entire suggestion had been laid out for him, he bid farewell to the man he'd been talking to and headed for the beach.

I'd never used my powers of manipulation much in my previous life. I liked the idea that people either respected or feared me enough to do what I wanted. When I'd been involved in the Soldier program, it made conducting exercises with the men assigned to my squadron much easier. I had no problems with rough-housing or, luckily for me, back-stabbing. Everyone wanted to make sure I was proud of them that they did their best at even the most menial of tasks. Yes, perhaps a little of it was fear, but once the men came to know me, or what I let them know of me, they relaxed, though would still strive for perfection.

Cloud had been my first serious manipulation, my first puppet.

Well, technically not my first, but the first I'd been truly successful with. I'd attempted to manipulate Hojo when I was still quite young. He beat me out of the habit of using any of my powers around him quite quickly. His mind, however, could not be bent to my will. The man's consciousness wasn't so much a contained area as it was the remnants of an explosion. There was nothing whole to manipulate within him; only bits and pieces of a man. I wasn't given food for three days thereafter, and was told that if he ever caught me doing it again, he'd toss me into solitary confinement for a month. I saw very little of other people to begin with, so I tucked the ability deep within me.

Honestly, for a long time I'd forgotten I'd even had the power. It was like how some used to train chocobos; when the birds are young and weak, their keeper ties a length of chain around their feet, then the other end to a stake in the ground. While young, the bird can't escape. It grows up thinking the same thing, and never thinks whether, now that it's big and strong, it might be able to pull the chain free.

This method of training, of course, had, over the years, been regarded as somewhat cruel, and since chocobos train so well otherwise, the practice had all but faded. There were still smaller villagers who don't have the man power to train so many birds at once, but they are few and far between.

Older and stronger, I likely had a better grip on my powers that I might be able to persuade Hojo of something, but the thought of our consciousness meeting was unappealing to the extreme. Although, the prospect of looking down on him as he, with a look of absolute terror on his face, was forced to take his own life made my toes curl.

Down on the beach, Lukka began to trek toward the mountains. The sand slowly turned into gravel, then rocks, then dirt and patches of trails used by the local, and tourist, hikers. Once we were out of sight of the town, I became visible behind him and wrapped one arm around his neck, and braced the other on the side of his head.

I hesitated for a moment, then let him go. He stumbled to the ground,, falling ass over elbow to face his attacker. Her held out a gun to me, but his hands were shaking so violently he might as well have been holding a slingshot for all the damage it might do to me.

"You're one of Hojo's assistants, aren't you?" I kept my voice low and easy, trying to win him over.

He nodded.

"Then it's a damn good thing I recognized you before I snapped your neck, or I'd be nearly dead myself."

He just sat there, looking terrified, though he's lowered his gun.

I looked over my shoulder, toward the town. "I thought you might be aiding the girl, before I realized who you were. I'm sure Hojo informed you that I'm here to take her back, and kill whoever took her in the first place."

The boy nodded, slowly regaining his wits. His face was still pale, but it was awash with relief.

"I've been observing her since I arrived, and have several suspects as to who might have been able to take her from the labs in the first place, but the investigation is slow going."

"Why don't you just kill all of your suspects?" Lukka commented, standing up.

"Part of the problem. I would like to, but my orders were specific. I am only able to obey direct orders from Hojo. He ordered me to kill the one who took the girl, and so I'm forced to find the one who took her. I was not ordered to kill those that simply help her, no matter my suspicions, and so I'm set playing the part of a detective. Besides, if I simply killed those that I openly suspect, it might start a panic in the city, and we would then lose the girl."

Brushing off his pants, Lukka regarded me with hard eyes. "I was in the labs before you left for here; you don't like to kill any longer. Why are you so quick to think you'd rather jump the gun here?"

Ah, so he wasn't a mindless idiot.

"My previous designated targets have been people I have no quarrel with, people who I stalk and kill in secret. But this girl that Hojo wants back? I despise her. When he first showed me that she was alive, he had to order me not to harm her, and was quick to do so, considering the moment I laid eyes on her I made toward her with malicious deeds in mind. Besides, I resent her freedom; why should she be free, when I cannot be?"

I laced my lies with such fake hatred that, no matter how smart this boy might seem, my tone still made bumps rise on his skin and his hair stand on end. He nodded, mostly so he had an excuse to look away from my gaze, and then sighed.

"I bugged her house earlier, but someone found them quickly and destroyed them."

I feigned a look of surprise. "That was you?" I sighed, forcing a huff of aggravation thereafter. "I wish I'd known earlier.. I was the one who eradicated the devices. I thought those watching over her were simply over protective, had been waiting for someone to make a move to capture her again."

He made face of slight confusion. "But wouldn't destroying the bugs let those protecting her know that she was being watched by someone else?"

I smiled, conjuring up the most wicked grin I could. "That was what I was planning on."

The wheels in his head were turning, and it was a moment before he realized that I had meant to confront whoever came to replace the bugs. He nodded, then looked away again, obviously feeling slightly stupid. "What should we do?"

"We work together."

His head snapped up, and he met my eyes. "If we both want the same thing, it only makes sense for us to work together. If you'd like, call Hojo to make sure this fits well with him."

"You normally don't care," he shot, obviously still not convinced.

"I want to get out of this festering oven of a tourist trap. I'm sick of playing cat and mouse, watching and being unable to do much. Call your master and ask him what he orders of you." I crossed my arms and looked away, though, to be fair, I was pretty indignant anyway.

Lukka dialed Hojo, and though they talked in hushed tones, I could still easily hear them both.

"What is it? Has something happened?"

"Not quite, sir. You see, Sephiroth found me tailing the girl, and didn't recognize me at first. He nearly snapped my neck, sir, but realized who I was at the last moment. He suggests that we work together to capture the girl and-"

"And you called me, interrupting my work, so that you could ask permission? You'll never move up, not with a spine as limp as that. Of course, your ingrate; work with number one until the mission is complete. This changes nothing. Do as he says, and report back when you actually have something worthy to say. Give the phone to him."

I smiled, holding out my hand.

Lukka, properly cowed, handed the phone to me without meeting my eyes.

"Number one?"

"What?"

"The following is an order; you will work with that boy to capture the Ancient and kill whoever took her. Do not lose her. Though I'd rather you work fast, I want this job done right; take whatever time and precautions yous see fit."

For a fraction of a second I hesitated, waiting for the wave of nausea to overpower me as it used to when I'd been given an order. When nothing of the sort rolled through me, I knew I had to fake it to keep the ruse up. I fell over, clutching my stomach and heaving, gasping for air as I arched my stomach in fake pain. I dropped the phone and rolled to my side, panting, and, for good measure, clutched at my collar.

Lukka picked up the phone when it was obvious I wasn't going to move for it. "Sir?"

"Inform number one he has a vitamin C deficiency. There are plenty of citrus tress in the area; make use of them. Don't call me back until you've made progress!"

Instantly, I stood and took the phone from Lukka. I pocketed it, then reached my hand out for his throat. He struggled when my hand wrapped around his neck, obviously surprised half out of his mind.

"Relax, you little shit. I'm not going to kill you. Yet."

I reached within my mind and then pushed past his mental defense. In an instant, he fell limp in my grasp, asleep until I saw fit to wake him.

However, if I returned to the apartment with a limp body slung over my shoulder, Aerith would have my head.

I tossed Lukka's body over my right arm, holding on to his legs as support, faded invisible, then flew back to town. Once there, I went to the little flower shop Aerith had worked at earlier that day. The sun, finally setting, reflected off the front windows of the small building. Nothing stirred inside. Tomorrow was a holiday; the store would be closed, as proclaimed the little sign that hung in the window of the door.

Careful not to hurt him too bad, I laid Lukka down on the back storeroom for safe keeping. Even if someone found him, they wouldn't be able to wake him without me.

After he was safely put away, I felt a rush of elation so great I had to physically bite my tongue to stop myself from crying out in joy. Hojo still thought I was under his control. Lukka wouldn't be a bother and, once Reeve arrived, might prove to be an asset, considering what information we might be able to pry from his feeble little mind. I phased out and flew back to Aerith so quickly that I nearly made my self sick.

She was still in the bath when I arrived back, and called out to me when she felt my presence enter the main room. "Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me. Take your time in there; there's no need to hurry on my account."

The sun was nearly hidden by the mountain range, the orange glow lighting the front room with soft hues, despite the closed blinds. I contemplated what to tell her, how to explain to her what I'd just accomplished in the span of an hour. I'd have to explain it once again once Reeve turned up, so despite my glee over the entire situation, I decided to hold off on the big reveal.

While I waited for her to finish bathing, I browsed her bookcase. She had acquired many books for cooking, and many more for gardening and plant-tending, but what struck me as a little strange were the vast amounts of books with nothing but pictures of older civilizations. I suppose I shouldn't think it strange, considering what half of her heritage was, but they were races and civilizations that were nothing like her people, and likely not from the same region of the planet.

I dwelt on that idea for a time. The idea of older civilizations was intriguing. People that we've never met, would never have the chance to meet, had shaped our societies and ideas into what they are now. Without a past, there is no present. The past holds so many mysteries that we can only make educated guesses about; we shall never know what life was truly like for our ancestors.

I wondered if, by communicating to the lifestream, Aerith was able to speak to the dead. Perhaps it was why she had books about people she might not have heard of otherwise. Heaven knows she wasn't given a fantastic formal education growing up in the slums, yet she spoke with the eloquence and understanding of someone privileged.

It was dark by the time she'd exited her bath, and I'd decided that waiting for her to help me with dinner wasn't too kind of an idea. Her hair was nearly dry, though she came padding out of the bathroom, barefoot, with a small towel in hand, scrunching her hair up in it and pulling away the last of the water that clung to it. "What are you making?" I loved the way she curiously smiled up at me. There were many things weighing on her heart, making it heavy, yet she still had a smile to spare me over the thought of my cooking for her.

"Just some fish and rice. I thought our stomachs could do with something simple and easy."

She nodded, leaning over the counter and watching me work.

The apartment had a nice, quiet glow. The only lights I'd bothered to turn on had been the ones in the kitchen, leaving most of the rest of the wide open front area in a slight state of shadow. I'd wanted to light a candle Aerith had placed on the center island of the kitchen, but I thought it might be best to wait until after we were done with the fish.

As I pushed the pan of fish into the oven and set the timer, a soft, almost nervous knock at the door sounded. Reeve, while not much of a fighter himself, did well to keep himself concealed; I'd hardly felt a flicker of life walk up the steps.

Aerith turned to make for the door, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Stay put," I instructed, adding a "please," to my order when she gave me a look that was a cross between sour indignation and open curiosity.

I phased part of my body out, reached through the door, and pulled Reeve right though it, without so much as unlocking it. Why bother? If we were still being watched, though I felt it highly unlikely at this point, it would be better to see a body disappear off the stoop than for me to simply let him walk inside.

I openly admit to feeling a surge of childish delight when I pulled him through, feeling the level of panic rise in him. His heartbeat slammed against my fist, and when he was through the door and once again part of the physical world, he stumbled and fell, ass over elbow, to the floor. He looked up at me, open fright in his face, but my elation crumbled and fell to the pit of my stomach. His eyes were wide with fear, and I felt as though I was looking into the gaze of the little children who I'd been forced to...

I offered my open hand in a gesture of good faith to a man who had once been my enemy. "I apologize for my method of getting you here, but given the circumstances, I had little other option. Reeve, we need your help."

He didn't take my hand, and I didn't blame him for his caution.

From behind him, Aerith stood with her hands on her hips. "What is going on?"

Reeve, obviously uncomfortable at turning his back on me, twisted his head slowly, his eyes keeping contact with mine until the last possible second. His voice had caught in his throat when he looked at Aerith; his lips moved, made her name, but no sound came out.

"You were worried about taking care of the situation alone. I couldn't call Cloud; you said it yourself, he'd only seek my destruction. I thought that if we had someone levelheaded and intelligent on our side, if we needed to recruit Cloud, Reeve would be a good voice of reason. That, and to be honest, he was the only one who I knew how to contact."

She opened her mouth, ready to argue, to berate me, but Reeve had turned completely to face her, and had wrapped his fingers around one of her pant legs. I could feel his heartbeat resonating across the hardwood floor. The fear he had held for me was nothing compared to his unhidden elation at seeing Aerith alive.

"This can't be. I'm drunk, or dreaming."

She smiled softly at him, her anger for me gone in an instant. She knelt down next to him, took his hands in hers, and sighed. "Come now, Reeve - we've been through much stranger."


	8. Quaking Ground

Chapter warning: dirty sex, ahoy! Alright, it's not really dirty, but there's some of it in this chapter. If you've a problem, you can skip it. If not, enjoy.

Chapter 8: Quaking Ground

Reeve took the glass of spirits I'd handed to him, though he was careful to avoid my actual touch. He'd stopped trembling some time ago, though still looked shaken. His eyes were still red, but no actual tears streaked his face.

"So, let me get this straight; you're telling me that Hojo set up a secret lab under Shinra HQ, somehow managed to bring the two of you back to life, has been using you as an assassin due to the collar thing around your neck, is hunting down Aerith because you somehow managed to save her, and is making clones of you while he's at it."

I took a sip of my own apple flavored alcohol. "That's the gist of it."

Reeve seemed to be having a difficult time understanding that I was not the same monster he'd had a hand in defeating those years ago. I could hardly blame him, though I _was_ on my best behavior anyway; courteous, emotionally level, and somewhat relaxed. It pained me to some extent when I'd explained what the lives of Hojo's targets had cost me. At first, the skepticism ran, clear as day, across his face. Then, when I mentioned the little children, I paused, having found myself short of breath suddenly. When Aerith reached a hand across to me - she and Reeve sat close to one another on the couch, and I on the ottoman in front of them - I watched from the corner of my eyes as Reeve's jaw hung open. He closed it quickly, making a coughing noise, then took another swig of his drink as I went on.

"However, we have an ace up our sleeve. I managed to capture Lukka, the boy who is Hojo's eyes and ears in the city, and I-"

"What?" Aerith's voice shook.

"Surprise," I smiled, cheekily. I relayed to the both of them my encounter with Lukka, and how I'd fooled Hojo into thinking I was still under his control over the phone.

Knocking back what was left in her glass, Aerith shook her head. "Will you ever cease to surprise me?"

"I could ask the same of you," I responded, smirking.

Reeve let out a nervous laugh, then sighed. "I'm sorry. This is just so strange." In our retelling of the last near year, Aerith and I, without a word to one another before hand, had left bits of our story out that felt too private to share. Reeve didn't need to know that the last thing I'd said to my flower before I was convinced I was to die. But, given the soft looks I was only now consciously aware she and I were sharing, it was no surprise Reeve came to a conclusion of his own.

"Lukka will be fine in the flower shop until the day after tomorrow. But, after that, we'll have to move him," Aerith informed us.

Reeve sighed. "So. What do you think the best course of action is?"

"I think we should interrogate the boy," I offered. "We need to know how many clones Hojo is creating." I shook the ice in my glass. "But, for the moment, my current plan is to get another drink." It had been years since I'd managed to get properly shitfaced. Once had been enough, not because I'd learned my lesson by any measure, but because once my body processes a foreign agent, it adapts itself accordingly. I might have a light buzz going, but it was quickly fading. Very quickly. Short of shooting alcohol directly into my veins, I'd remain mostly sober all night no matter how much I drank. Both a curse and a gift, I suppose.

After another round of drinks, we worked out that I was to retrieve Lukka from his hiding spot. The boy was little threat to me, or Reeve, but I worried over Aerith's safety. True, she'd brought the most powerful man on the planet to his keens, but not through physical combat.

I left the retrieve the boy. Despite it not feeling so late - or early, as it was - the sun was warming the horizon with an orange-yellow glow. The town was still quiet under my feet as I flew to the flower shop. He was limp and soundlessly asleep, just as I'd laid him there. I hefted him over my shoulder, stirring him awake with my mind. He fluttered to consciousness before I took to the sky. "We are going to visit someone very special," I told him, despite neither of us having a visible physical form. "She's a very precious creature, you see, so let me warn you now; if you do anything to harm her, I won't hesitate to wring your neck."

I felt him shake, shiver in fear. I smiled, glad I was invisible. No matter how empty my threat was, it still struck terror into the hearts of men. He remembered when I wrapped my hand around his neck after the phone call; he knew I could hurt him, and that Hojo's orders meant nothing to me.

No matter how much I hated the repugnant, amoral little puke, I would not kill him. Even my want for Hojo's demise was thinning. I had gained a certain respect for the living, never mind the fucked up way I obtained it. Regardless, it would be fun to watch him break. I wondered how long it would take before he pissed himself.

I phased through the ceiling, though I remained quiet and invisible for a time. Watching Aerith interact with an old friend was oddly intriguing.

"This is just a lot to swallow," Reeve confessed, emptying the rest of the liquor into his glass and tossing the bottle into the recycling. "I mean, hardly a few years ago we were in the planet's core fighting, tooth and nail, against the same man you're so sure isn't the same at all."

Aerith sighed, obviously tired with the conversation, but unwilling to let it rest. "He saved me, took care of me. He didn't even let me know he was my hero until I practically forced him to reveal himself. I've felt his heart break when he was forced to hurt the innocent. When he was so sure he was going to die, he..."

"He what, Aerith?"

"You don't understand. There were spirits following him, mourning him as he mourned them. I felt his heart break half a world away. He's broken, but not like before. He's slowly piecing himself back together, for the better. Jenova is destroyed. You can't argue the fact that before, when he was in Shinra, before all of this happened," she gestured wildly about, obviously referring to not only the situation at hand, but the ones that had led us all here in the first place, "he was an honorable man. A killing machine, yes, but what else could you expect considering how he was raised? I've heard him laugh, watched him smile, witnessedhow helpless and alone he can seem."

"Kind actions and sweet words are all well and good, Aerith, but how do -I- know? He's convinced you well enough, but what of me?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "He's in love with me, Reeve. He was ready to throw his life away to warn me that Hojo knew where I was. The collar tried to make him take his own life, but his last words would have been... would have been that he loves me. He has had ample opportunities to hurt me. He's free of Hojo's control and yet has done everything to make sure I'm safe, and that I'll never have to worry about being some lab rat again."

I phased back, nearly making Reeve jump out of his skin. "And you have my word that, once this entire ordeal is over, you'll still remain safe."

She looked up at me and smiled, though there was a messing swirl of emotion behind her eyes so thick that I couldn't guess what she felt. I turned my attention to Reeve. "I am risking everything - my freedom, my life - to make sure that Hojo will be put away, and that Aerith remains free. Had I wanted to, I could have killed her, you, and the rest of your friends twice over by now. You have little personal reason to trust me, given our pasts, but right now, based on my recent actions, you'd be a fool not to."

Reeve heaved a heavy sign. "Damn the two of you and your persuasion," he offered, finally, shaking his head. "What can I do to help?"

I hefted Lukka off of my shoulder and let him land with a heavy, meaty thud against the floor. He squealed. "You can help me by assisting me in an interrogation." I looked to Aerith. "I don't want you here for this."

She opened her moth to protest, but this was something I simply wouldn't have. I strode to the kitchen, dipped my hand into the money jar, and pulled a few gil notes out. I thrust them into her pocket, picked her up in my arms, and shot through the ceiling.

"No, absolutely not! I-"

I cut her off. "You will not watch this, be a part of it, nor will not be present. I refuse to cave; this is not an aspect of me I wish you to see."

I could feel the anger pouring out of her, but she said nothing in response.

We phased through the docks, and once below turned visible. I pulled her from my grasp, but faltered slight when I saw how hard she'd been crying. I felt a wave of cold guilt wash over me. "Flower, flower," I cooed. "I won't kill him. I promise I won't. It's entirely likely that I won't have to hurt him. But for me to be my most intimidating, most frightening, I need you gone. I could never give in to the dark with your light so close to my side."

She shook her head, taking my face in her hands. "I just... I can't... I can't condone torture, Sephiroth. I can't. This goes against everything I am."

I cradled her to me, wishing there was something I could do to ease her pain. "When we find what we need, you can heal him. Would that make things better?"

Her face buried against my chest, she breathed deeply. "No. But it's a start."

"I gave you the money so that you might distract yourself. Have breakfast, go to the market. When we finish, I'll come find you."

She didn't speak, only nodded, pulled out of my arms, and wiped her tears away. I stole an unexpected kiss, though it startled her slightly, before returning to the apartment.

Reeve had made quick work of the boy and had tied him to one of the dining chairs with both rope and duct tape.

"She didn't look too happy when you nabbed her like that," Reeve observed, dryly. He was obviously unappeased with my familiarity with Aerith, though he was a smart enough man to know there was little he could do over the bitter taste it may have left in his mouth.

Like I could give a shit. "Of course she wasn't happy. But she trusts me, and knows that there is still darkness within my soul, not nearly as much, but enough for me to respect her fear of what is left." I turned my sights to Lukka. "Ah, and now for some fun."

I pulled back and let loose quite the right hook. For a flicker of an instant, I felt terrible for breaking his nose. Then I though of all he'd done to me, what he had a hand in, and what ever else he might have done and promptly stopped caring completely. The blood running down his face made the feral animal in me stir.

Lukka spit blood, then shot me a glare of pure ice. "You forget that I was on staff when Professor Hojo put you through those sessions with the doctor. I know what a failure you are now. You might hurt me, but you lack the will to kill me. I was scared when you first woke me up, but now I know how soft you've turned."

I laughed, deep and long and with pure hatred in my eyes. So, this little cocky fuck thought he knew me over? "Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, child. You see, I only feel remorse killing those that are innocent, that deserve to live their lives. You? You are not even capable of understanding just how wrong you are. Why do you think I took the girl away just moments ago? So when I actually kill you - when the life bleeds from your veins and the light behind your eyes flutters and dims - she will be too far to save you."

His eyes grew wide with terror.

"And I took her so far from town, she'll be lucky to make it home by nightfall." I hated lying, but didnt mind when my words were for undeserving ears. I extracted my hunting knife from my shoe. "Do you see this blade, Lukka? This is the blade I used to kill those that Hojo forced me to, those that this collar used my hand to bleed out. Men, women, and children alike have all been laid to rest by this simple knife."

Gripping the knife, I raised my hand and brought it back down, embedding the tip in the chair, directly between Lukka's legs, hardly a hair's length away. I looked at him directly. "This knife is too good for you," I whispered, our faces inches apart.

It took four hours, three broken fingers, a black eye, two loose teeth, and several cigarette burns, care of Reeve who surprised me with his interrogation techniques, before the boy cracked. At one point, Reeve asked me how much pressure it took to break the human knee. When I smiled like a wild animal and informed Reeve that while I didn't know, I would love to find out, the lap dog finally cracked. Lukka, the sobbing, piss-stained mess, had delivered unto me all that I needed to know about the clones, as well as Hojo's secret lab.

I couldn't hide the deep satisfaction I gained from having the one-up on Hojo. Finally, I was in the position to be three steps ahead of him, and he would never know it until it was too late. Reeve decided to wait until Aerith healed Lukka before he would be tied up again, which I supposed was a good idea, as Aerith might have a harder time healing him if we further aggravated his injuries.

I found her in the market with a bag of goods hanging from her arm. I very well couldn't walk up to her, given who I was and how easy I was to spot in a crowd, so I settled myself to simply following her until she noticed me, invisible. Several times she looked over her shoulder, directly at me though I could not be seen, and smiled, though the way she turned made it appear to any onlooker that she was simply lost in thought. She wasn't finished shopping, or she wasn't yet ready to return home yet, and let me know it with her long, languid steps and her slow perusing of the stalls. But what surprised me is the fact that instead of simply letting me take her back to the apartment, she slowly was making her way home herself. To be fair, it wasn't as though she was particularly far from it in the first place to begin with, but it almost seemed an effort to avoid my touch. Given how much I'd let the darkness touch me, I didn't want to push the issue. If there was something else that was bothering her, she would let me know in her own time.

One thing I've learned of the world on my own is to never pressure a woman to talk when she isn't ready or willing. Not only will you leave the situation feeling far more confused than when you entered it, but the actual problem will have likely increased. I am a creature that strikes fear into the hearts of men, but so help me if I anger a woman. Even one as strong and intelligent as I fears the wrath of a woman wronged.

She didn't bother with her keys when we returned, instead knocking, knowing that Reeve would let us in. He was careful to hold the door open for her, and then for a few extra moments for me. I let him know when I was inside, and thanked him for his politeness.

Aerith shot us quite a look when she first set her eyes on Lukka.

"I promised that I wouldn't kill him," I reminded her. "But the information we extracted is more useful than we previously thought it would be."

She shook her head, running her hands down Lukka's bruised face. As her flesh passed over his, the dark marks I'd left slowly disappeared. "I don't ever think torture is the right answer," she replied, almost passively, her attention on the boy.

"And what else was left to us? How else we were supposed to extract such information?" I was growing bitter. I knew she didn't approve, but given the situation, I truly felt we had little other option. I won't lie and say that I didn't enjoy what I did to him; he deserved far worse, as far as i was concerned.

"We couldn't have pried open his mind?"

I scoffed. "That would have left him worse off than he is now. You can heal his physical wounds, but the psychological ones left by us invading his mind by force would have left him in a vegetative state. You and I share our minds because we are willing. We would have had to break him before his mind would have opened. It's one thing entirely to suggest something, brush up against a consciousness, or learn something by observing, Aerith; but breaking into the mind of another? You saw how broken I made Cloud, and I hadn't even breached through completely."

Reeve shook his head, obviously not wanting this to turn into a full fight. "You can heal his body, Aerith. You can see for yourself how easily physical pain can bring a man down. But mentally? He's a vault. Think about it; he was likely trained to withstand mental probing, given his employment."

She sighed, fixing Lukka's fingers. The boy was still crying, but his eyes were wide with wonder as he gazed at Aerith's healing prowess. "I don't want to admit you're right, but there are truth behind your words. He worked for Hojo, and was likely trained _very_ well."

The physical body was prone to failure, but the human mind was a different matter entirely. Subliminal suggestions or ideas implanted by the mere brush of consciousness were nothing compared to an attempt to break down the mental barrier, especially of someone who worked under Hojo and saw nothing wrong with what he did. I could put someone to sleep by surrounding their consciousness, but peeling away at their inner walls? Not only did it have a chance to either ruin or kill the person, but the backlash on the user was enough to cause physical pain.

As aerith healed the boy, I watched it drain the color from her face, the very life from her. I helped her sit on the couch as Reeve untied l from the chair, then tied his limbs back up so that he wouldn't escape. "You're just as sick as I am," Lukka spat at my flower. "You healed me so that they could hurt me again."

A fire in her blood sparked so quickly, had I not been there to see it, I wouldn't have believed it. Aerith stood almost the instant I'd helped her sit and strode over to Lukka. She raised her hand above her head and slapped the dolt across the face, exhibiting a flame of anger I was not aware she was capable of. "Don't you dare start with me!" her words shook as she spoke. "You pretended to be a kind person, pretended to be a friend, and all the while you were spewing nothing but lies. So help me, I'll make sure these two never harm you again, but may the lifestream have mercy on you if you think I'd willingly and without guilt let you be killed."

Reeve took Aerith by her shoulders, shushing her, and guided her to the bedroom, out of Lukka's sight.

I stood over him, looming like a dark shadow with a monster hidden within. "She cried for you. She cried out of fear of what I would do to you. She knows what we did was wrong, and it hurt her down to her very soul. For her sake, I won't again lay a hand on you in malice, but know that were it not for her, boy, you'd be nothing more than a pile of blood and organs on the floor. What you and your master have done to me, were prepared to do to her, are unthinkable acts that make you less a human and more a monster than even I."

And with that, I surrounded his consciousness and threw him back to sleep. Let my words haunt his dreams, let his mind echo their meaning as nightmares ravaged his sleep. Had I my way, he'd be long dead.

I wondered if I was truly growing soft. Perhaps not; there was strength in knowing I could easily spill blood, but chose not to. Strength of character and will differed greatly from strength of body. Any amount of time in Aerith's presence could attest to such a notion.

Without giving his physical comfort much thought, I tossed Lukka's limp body into the pantry and locked the door from the outside as a rather silly attempt to make myself feel better. If the door was locked, the monster couldn't get out. Or in, depending on who the monster was. I had, after all, just tortured a man, and then thrown him into a closet with all sorts of canned goods.

Shortly thereafter, Aerith and Reeve returned from down the hallway. My flower's cheeks were puffed, and her eyes red, a sure indication that she'd been in tears. I wished to comfort her, give her my strength, but knew it was not the time. Precious moments had already been squandered trying to break Lukka's spirit. We had time, but it wasn't infinite.

I heard Aerith fidget. "I... I was against it before, but I think that our best bet is to get the others in on it. I know trying to convince Cloud will be difficult, but..."

"Tea?" I offered, taking a teacup from the cupboard. I didn't want to talk about the possibility of Cloud crashing the party just yet. I knew it was likely we would enlist his help, but it was a thought I didn't want to yet consider. We'd only just extracted information; we hadn't ourselves begun to plan, and yet we were already considering outside help?

"Yes, tea would be welcome, and I agree" Reeve responded, turning from me, then back to Aerith. "It's going to be tense as all hell, but if we want to come up with the best plan, I think he'd offer sound input and contribute as much as he can. It's no secret he hates Hojo. Not only for what was done to him, but for all Hojo's done to those we know, or even don't know. I mean, how sick does a man have to be to experiment on his own son?"

I frowned, closing the cupboard, teacup in hand, and turned to Reeve, confused. "What are you talking about? Hojo doesn't have any next of kin."

Reeve's face went ghost white, his eyes widening. All it took was a few words and a facial expression for my world to be yanked out from under me like a rug. I dropped the glass, felt it leave my hand, but a hundred lifetimes passed before it hit the floor, crashing, smashing into pieces that scattered about the floor. Aerith put her hands over her mouth, obviously piecing together the idea herself. She looked horrified, her gaze locked with mine.

I didn't know how I hadn't pieced it together myself before. All these years, looking at his face, his features, that looked so similar to the one in the mirror. The cruel calculations, the stubbornness; it was little wonder I had turned out such a monster; I'd been sired by one.

I just stood there, stupidly, my hands shaking. I felt sick and dizzy, as though I had been blind-sighted by vertigo. My stomach cramped, my head spun, and the world rushed up to meet me as I crumpled to the floor, lost within my own mind.

As I toppled downwards, the world reeling under me, my vision dimmed around the edges like I was traveling backwards through a tunnel. The dark crept across all that I could see, eventually robbing me of my vision, overtaking me in complete black and surrounding me with silence.

It was at least a comforting silence that enveloped me, one in which my mind was clear and my body relaxed. But, my peace was short lived. The world called me back, as it seems always to, and lured me to return to the harsh truths of reality, enticing me with the lullaby of a sweet angel. I could not ignore the call, nor the feeling that filled me and bade me return; a low thump, sounding in my chest as though it was my own heartbeat, then echoing out, past my limbs, through my fingertips, and into the beyond. A steady beat, one that neither grew slower or quicker; the heartbeat of all things.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I finally awoke. I had little desire to find out, honestly, because the only sensation I cared for was that of Aerith's delicate fingertips dancing across my forehead and through my hair. There was no need to pretend I was still sleeping, and so I simply opened my eyes. She smiled down at me, a warm smile, but there was a great sadness behind her eyes. Unspoken questions danced across her lips, but she was kind and patient and her thirst for answers was overtaken by her desire to protect and heal.

Such a creature as she has never before, nor will ever again, walk the face of the planet. Mankind overlooks the treasure they have.

Ah, but I do not.

"You're able to heal all sorts of wounds, aren't you, flower girl?"

She sighed, though her smiled stayed in place. "Yes, but this time I thought you were truly broken. You keep cracking and cracking, pieces chipping away, yet you managed to wake despite all that's missing."

I rubbed at my eyes, wishing I could sleep again. I was breaking apart, yes, but the pieces that I left behind, up to this point, had been nothing more than fragments of the man I used to be, parts of the shell I was slowing emerging from.

But a wound like this?

"Where is Reeve?" I wanted to ask how he found out Hojo was... of the same blood.

"He's charted a private plane to Rocket Town. We weren't sure when you'd recover, or what shape you'd be in if or when you did, so he elected himself to gather some of the others."

"Cloud is coming?"

A sigh. "Cloud is coming. Although, Reeve is careful with what he is saying to get them here. He doesn't want to make anyone panic, or overreact, so you and I are being kept out of the question until everyone arrives."

"You're friends will be shocked and disappointed that you didn't seek them out sooner, you know."

"Yes, I know, but they'll have to get over it. We have more important things to tend to. Are you hungry?"

I thought about it, and even though I really wasn't, food would make a welcome distraction. Even though I was calm now, I knew it was because of Aerith and her abilities.

In the kitchen, she fussed about me like a mother hen, all business, directing me to sit at the counter bar as she went through the fridge and asked me what I would like to eat. "We have soup, fresh veggies, fruit; I can make you just about whatever you'd like, aside from maybe red meat; I don't really buy it anymore."

A steak was the last thing I wanted. "Something easy on my stomach?" I knew she was offering to make anything I desired, but I was so used to taking care of myself that having her dote on me was a little embarrassing even still.

"Toast and fruit are easy enough, if that sounds alright."

I nodded.

She was keeping my anxiety at bay and my head level. I don't know how, considering that I was so far retreated into myself I couldn't really feel my fingers and toes much, but I could sense a warm aura resonating off of her, keeping the panic attack at the back of my throat from overtaking me. I had just found out the man I despise the most in the universe, the man who tortured me and made my life hell, was the same who'd given me life; if that wasn't cause for a little panic then I'm a gold chocobo. And now, my mortal enemy, the creature that both hated and pitied me, would soon share his thoughts about the lovely predicament we'd all fallen into.

When she was nearly finished slicing the apple she'd picked, Aerith put down the knife and pinched the bridge of her nose. "You have to stop thinking about it. I'm trying to keep you from falling, but you keep tiptoeing on the edge."

Decades of training kicked in and I blanked my mind. No matter how upset I was, I'd already let myself fall once to the idea that Hojo and I were ilk. I would have plenty of time to revert to hysterics when it was finished. "My apologies. I wasn't aware you were exerting yourself so greatly in order to benefit me. I feel calmer, thank you."

"No, no, you didn't know, there's no reason to apologize," she responded, rubbing her temples. "You're just, well, a very strong consciousness. Large, powerful, and unaware of how you pull and push others. I'm just trying to hold you in."

I ate my food in silence, but couldn't hold back the one question that was burning the back of my throat. "And what is to be done with me when Cloud arrives?"

Aerith sighed again, obviously having poured over the question on her own. "I don't know. I haven't the slightest idea what to do with myself, let alone you. And we lack the time to sort this out. Whatever our problems, they pale in comparison to Hojo. He _has_ to come first. Never mind how Reeve knew he is your biological father; we can sort through all of the aftereffects later."

I nodded, in full agreement. Hojo had to be stopped. I'd face Cloud eventually; the puritan little puke would be hard pressed it let things lie, and, to be fair, it would be a great relief to spar with someone whose jaw wouldn't shatter after a single hit from me. I needed a physical outlet, and worshipping my flower until she couldn't walk didn't seem an option at the moment. I wanted days with her, winning her heart and soul, not mere hours. She was a goddess, and I would attend her as such, when the time was right. I felt calmer just thinking about what I'd do to her, imagining her under me, calling my name, her breath hitching, her eyes tightly closed, her-

"Do you mind?" She sighed, giving me a tired, albeit odd, look.

I cocked an eyebrow.

"I don't need words to know what you're thinking when were are essentially mentally linked."

Ah, so that's how she knew I was upset just a moment ago; she could have made an educated guess, yes, but she'd simply read my thoughts instead. It's how she was keeping me so calm.

"It's little secret what I feel for you, flower girl." Now was not the time to hide behind words; she knew my feelings, and, to be honest, I was no poet.

Her cheeks flushed the prettiest shade of pink, though the look she gave me was cryptic. She opened her mouth to speak, then shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Now isn't the time for romance." It was meant to be a serious statement, but her words resonated with a distinct feeling of remorse.

"And when will it be? When we take Hojo down? Then we will be left with Cloud. And thereafter? You know how he is; he'd never let you out of his sight, if he had his way." I stood and circled the bar, my heart set on one thing. I leaned both of my hands against the counter behind her, coming so close we were nearly touching, hardly a breath apart. For the faintest of moments, I let my cheek brush hers before I whispered into her ear. "Little flower maiden, let me have you." A request, a gentle plea.

She sighed and shuddered, swallowing hard.

I watched as her resolve began to crumble. "I told you once, before I was forced to take my life, that I love you." Goosebumps erupted over her neck and shoulders as she slowly reached out to take a handful of my shirt in order to steady herself. "How many more confessions must I give you before you understand?"

"I understand," she offered back, "but I... is this really the time? I mean, there's so much going on, and-"

"If you're going to offer excuses, at least give me better ones than that. I think I deserve more, don't you?"

"They aren't excuses," she bit back, but there was little venom in her voice though she wouldn't meet my gaze. "I've just never been the type to use physical pleasure as an escape for emotional pain. My mind is swimming, and I want to make sure this is what I want. You saved me, cared for me, freed me, then came to my aid with your last breath. I care for you, but I need to make sure it's deep enough. I mean, given what we've just found out - I know you'd never be crass enough to use me as an escape, but..."

I took a step backward, despite her little hand still gripping my shirt. "I would never pressure you, force you."

"By all rights, I should hate you," she blurted, her voice cracking.

Ah, that's what she was so frightened of; how could she love her killer?

"But you do not. And just as I should hate you, I find I cannot."

She looked up at me, her face swimming with questions. But, I spoke before she could. "Aerith, if you tell me no, that you've no room in your heart for me, I'll never bring it up again; deny me, and you end it. But you keep giving me mere inches to grasp at, enough to give me hope you feel the same. Tell me, little flower; what should I do?"

I bent and kissed her, a chaste kiss, leaving her wanting as was demonstrated by her reluctance to release our lips when I backed away. "Tell me what I should do." This time, I whispered.

She sighed, and just as she could see my thoughts moments ago, I, too, could see hers. She was sprawled out beneath me, naked, as I kissed trails down her body, making her pant and cry out, her legs scissoring beneath me. Then, as quickly as I'd seen it, it vanished from my vision. Aerith's eyes grew wide and her cheeks pink, and I knew I hadn't really been meant to see her thoughts.

I couldn't help the wicked smile that graced my lips; I must have looked like some kind of mad man, considering she gripped my shirt tighter as though she were suddenly terrified of her own thoughts and what role I had in them. "Perhaps the little flower does know what it wants, if not sunshine and water," I teased, kissing her under her ear and easing her grip away from my shirt. I pulled her arms away, but didn't let go, instead tugging her in the direction of the bedroom.

It was a truly interesting development, I thought as I walked backwards, gently guiding her down the hall, how just minutes before I had contemplated how long I truly wanted with her, but, considering how she was giving herself to me now I would raise no argument. No, a wise man known a gift when it's given, and just as easily as she'd given her consent, she knew that she had the power to take it back, to make me stop. All it took was a single word. I prayed to the lost souls that she didn't speak it, of course; yes, I wanted days, but I would take mere moments if she offered.

With the arrival of her friends, our world would become a thousand times more complicated. I would take the sweet, fleeting moment she was giving to me and make her ache to give me more.

In the bedroom, when I moved to turn the lights on against the night, she stilled my hand, and shut the door behind us. She was aware I could see in the dark - her mind flashed back to when, after I'd first rescued her, I'd helped her into the bath - but her apprehension confused me. Before I could open my mouth, however, she spoke. "Before, it was out of necessity. Now, it's because I choose to."

"But you can't see in the dark," I teased.

"You may like the way I look, but I necessarily don't."

"You'll pardon me if I balk at such an self-defeating assessment," I cooed, pulling her against me, burying my face against her neck, kissing the warm flesh of her shoulders. My hands coasted up and down her hips, over the curve of her backside. "I see - I feel - nothing but perfection."

"And you somehow don't consider yourself a poet," she chided, playfully. She was relaxing in my arms, giving herself up to my sweet words and gentle touch.

An idea struck me. I bit the inside of my lip, cutting the soft flesh. I tasted blood, but I had to work quickly; my body healed at a somewhat alarming pace. Cupping the back her her head, I kissed my little flower maiden deeply, sweeping my tongue past her lips. I pulled away quickly, looking down at her. A moment of confusion, followed briefly by a flash of anger, only to be pushed away by sheer amazement.

"I can... I can see you." She reached up and cupped my face, looking about my features in awe.

"The effect won't last long," I reassured her. "A few hours, at most."

"This is what your blood does to other people?"

"To someone who can process mako correctly, yes." I bent and kissed the corner of her mouth. "Take a deep breath. You feel stronger, too, don't you?"

She inhaled, then exhaled, marveling at my simple gift to her. The last thing on the planet I wanted to do was hurt her, but given how mad she drove me with a simple kiss, I needed to make sure she could withstand me if I lost myself for even an instant.

She blushed, my thoughts having spilled over into her mind. "I really make you so crazy, so wanting, you might lose yourself?"

I took her hand and placed it over my heart, letting her feel the drum of my heartbeat. "You make me human."

Her lips parted in awe over my words, a look both sad and tired passing over her features.

"You make me want, make me feel, make me think." Each sentence I punctuated with a kiss, a sweet, small, tempting touch of our lips. I leaned in against her, pressing my lips to her ears. "Can I make you feel the same?" I begged, my skin barely touching hers.

Her thoughts - no, not her thoughts, her _emotions_ - spilled into me. An overwhelming desire to please and be pleased, to touch and be touched, wanting, waiting, and absolute, unashamed, desire filtered from her mind to mine, and I knew that there was nothing left to say between us. At least, not until the sun rose in the morning.

I took a half-step backwards, then tugged at her sweet little sundress. I'd become so accustomed to her wearing my over-sized clothing that seeing her in something flowing and slightly clingy only excited me all the more. Not nearly as much as when I'd rid her of it. Lacy underthings were a delight, especially white against the sun-warmed tone of her skin.

She swallowed, apprehensively, but her face, her eyes, showed no fear.

Gently, I pulled her to the bed, sitting her atop the chocobo-down comforter and pushing her backwards. I loomed over her without touching her, nor the mattress; the bed was a such a height that I could simply lean over her, our hips nearly touching.

Ah, but the time for that would come later, if only just. I bent and kissed her, kissed her eyelids and the corners of her mouth, raking my teeth over the soft flesh of her neck. I kissed the skin on the top of her breasts, that which her undergarments didn't cover, and while they were plump and round and warm, they were not my destination. Lower I ventured, all the while running my hands up and down the outside of her thighs, gently coaxing them apart. The kiss I gave her belly button awarded me a ticklish laugh from her, and I put away the fact that she was ticklish for another time. No, where I was headed was only just past...

She bucked when I pressed my lips against her white, lacy underthings, more of a spasm of surprise than anything, but the sounds she made made my blood run hotter all the same.

"Oh, flower girl. Oh, Aerith," I sighed, nipping at the inside of her thighs. I cast my eyes upward, hoping to steal away the look she was wearing and tuck it away for later, but her eyes were shut tightly and she had bit down on one of her knuckles. I chuckled. Did I truly have such a heart stopping effect on her? I awarded the bare skin of her inner thighs with a love bite before I slowly kissed my way back to white lace.

Her breath was shallow now, coming in high-pitched gasps. Her body reacted to me, and I found myself holding her legs still so that I could continue. Despite her scissoring, however, I managed to rid her of her panties and was awarded with a soft, wanting whimper when my lips touched the sensitive flesh between her legs. She shuddered against me, her back arching, and I watched, satisfied, as she gripped the sheets with white knuckles.

What happened next took me by surprise. As her body heaved one last, great time before she cried out in ecstasy, the world around us stilled as though it had taken a breath. Then, I heard it; the very heartbeat of the world as it thumped along side the life beat of the woman beneath me. It was like a sound too loud and low for human ears, a residual humming that gradually dissipated in time for the next beat.

Aerith shivered under me, her body limp and her breath ragged.

It was like when I'd injected her with mako, after I had first stolen her from Hojo's grasp. I hadn't heard the distinct popping of light bulbs, however, so I relaxed slightly. If she came this way every time, it would suffice to say I'd never become bored; whatever it had done to her, it had been slightly mirrored in me to an extent. My skin felt more sensitive, my body more tense.

Despite my want of her, tonight was not a night for selfishness. I reached a hand out and stroked Aerith's hair. "Sweet one, speak to me. Tell me what you feel." Though she panted in what sounded like satisfaction, her eyes remained scrunched tightly, almost making her seem like she was pained.

"I'm on fire," she panted. "A shooting star," she sighed as she stretched and uncurled her toes.

I smiled, feeling devious. "A shooting star, you say? Tell me, should I look to catch you?" I dipped my head down and kissed her breasts through lace at first, then, when I'd removed the garment, her bare flesh.

"Catch me," she panted, arching her back so that I might have better access to her skin.  
>"Catch me and lock me away." Her breath hitched as my tongue lashed at her tight skin.<p>

My wishes of wooing her softly were dying, only smouldering embers beneath a greater flame that was continuously growing with each breath, threatening to engulf her along with it. Her words set me on edge, one that I was already teetering precariously on. My pants were off faster than any mortal creature could move, and I pushed her toward the headboard of the bed so that when I climbed atop the covers myself I leaned above her on my hands and knees.

The look she gave me - trusting and loving - shook me down to my bones. She would ever be an enigma to me, and I felt I would never understand where her bottomless well of kindness could come from. Like me, she had been wronged so many times in her life. But, unlike me, she never once succumbed to the darkness.

She shuddered and mewled when I pushed inside of her, and I moved to wrap her legs around my waist for better purchase. Burying my face against her neck, I snarled like some crazed animal and bit down on her soft flesh. One arm wrapped around my neck, one weaving under my arm and up my back, she clung to me as she cried out, her voice and body shaking. I was relentless in my love-making. After all, I've never been known to take prisoners.

The entire room tensed - as though the very planet below us was taking a breath - then heaved outward like a wave crashing toward the shore. I heard a hum from the streetlights as they flickered, then shattered, sending a shower of glass the the empty streets below. For just a brief second in time, she was engulfed in light beneath me. Then, like a lightning strike, the illumination was gone, though my angel still lay beneath me. She, too, tensed, then cried out and her body convulsed. I was right behind her, and we gripped one another so as not to lose ourselves in our descent from the heavens.

I collapsed, a limp pile of flesh and bones, though I was careful to keep my of my weight from pressing down on her. She panted beneath me, her idle hands soon coming to play with my hair. As though she knew I was looking at her, she smiled despite her closed eyes.

In the morning, Cloud would arrive, but right now - this moment - was our own.


	9. Setting Sun

Chapter 9: Setting Sun

I awoke next to a wingless angel, our limbs entangled. It was mid morning, and the warm coastal sun filtered in through the cracks in the curtains, enveloping Aerith in a halo of soft light. Her eyes opened, and I found myself drowning in emerald. Her smile lit the room far better than any star.

"Morning," she chirped, stretching out and flexing under me.

"Morning," I offered back, kissing the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her eyelids, the corners of her mouth.

She giggled, then wiggled her way out from under me. I admired her bare backside as she dug through her drawers, then shot me a look over her shoulder as she scuttled from the room, her cheeks tinged rosily, clothing in hand.

I smiled to myself, smug and satisfied. I dressed, and made us breakfast while she showered. My keen ears picked up the soft sound of her voice as she sang, even through several walls.

Cloud and the rest of Aerith's friends would be arriving soon.

I found that I couldn't find enough in me to panic. For the first time in my life, I was happy, contented. Even Cloud, or the prospect of facing Hojo, couldn't dim my mood. I had a woman who loved me, allowed me the joy of loving her. The house around me could catch fire and I wouldn't notice the flames licking at my face. Not that fire could do much to damage me, but the point still stands.

My flower girl hustled into the room, towel drying her hair. "Reeve and the others will be here soon, and I haven't tidied up since you got here," she hustled about me, stealing the toast from my hand and taking a bite, then tucking it back between my fingers before I had a chance to inform her I'd made a few pieces for her.

She fluttered around the kitchen, stacking dishes and hiding away some of the the smaller appliances in the cupboards. She took a rag from the skin and began scrubbing the counters. "Could you vacuum for me?"

"Where is it?"

"Down the hall, in the closet at the end. Plug is next to the big bookcase."

The vacuum was loud, bulky, and looked older than even I, but it got the job done.

It was such and odd thing, being domestic. For the first two thirds of my life, I was cared for in the labs. I never had to clean, and all of my clothing was washed for me. It wasn't until Shinra decided that it would be good PR for me to live somewhere atop the Midgar plate - be seen out, amongst the people, since so many of them revered me as a hero - that I was forced to do things for myself. I tired of it, and hired a maid hardly a week after signing my lease, but I quickly was forced to fire her when I realized she'd bugged my apartment; not out of some Shinra spy conspiracy, but because she was part of a crazy fan group that stalked me wherever I went in the city. From then on, I had be be careful, almost delicate, with what I ate or where I went. I was caught drinking Mako-Cola once, just to see how it tasted since I'd never been allowed soft drinks in the labs, and hardly an hour later my face was the new glowing endorsement for the syrupy can of sugar and water. One surprise visit to the head of marketing, however, quickly put a stop to it, and after that I was overly careful never to be seen in public eating or drinking anything other than generic labels. I even started having my groceries delivered to my apartment, despite my affinity for food shopping. It was nice being able to eat what I wanted for the first time in my life. I was twenty-five before I'd had my first real banana, which was a grand replacement for banana flavored protein shakes. But the herd of people who would follow me around the store grew tiring to the point where I worried I might lose my temper with a few of them.

And believe me, I used to have quite a temper.

I heard Aerith giggle from across the room. I turned, and saw her looking at me. "What's so amusing?" I called out, over the din of the vacuum.

"It's just a funny sight; one of the strongest men to walk the planet, holding up a couch so he can clean under it."

I turned my attention to what I was doing. In one hand I held the vacuum's handle, while in the other I had lifted an entire side of Aerith's couch. From her stance, I could understand how I might look a little silly. I am a warrior, not a maid.

"All you need is an apron." She smiled, almost wickedly.

"Let's not get carried away," I responded, putting the couch down and turning off the vacuum.

I could hear her stifle a giggle, and knew, without sharing her mind, what she must be thinking.

Late afternoon came and went, and Aerith began to fret, first with small fidgety movements, and then heavily, accompanied by sighs and somewhat apprehensive glances toward the door.. Apparently, when she has the ability to walk about on her own, she has an aptitude for baking. That, or else she has a nervous habit. After my third cherry tart I wasn't in the mood for any more sweets, despite the fact that she'd made an entire array of cookies, a cake, and three batches of tarts.

At one point, she asked if I thought she should call Reeve and ask what might be wrong, and I reassured her with a kiss that he was a big boy, and could handle whatever was thrown at him. That simple kiss didn't much reassure her, so I kissed her again, and again, and somehow, much to my delight, we ended up in the bedroom, naked and breathless.

It was nearly midnight by the time the phone rang. Aerith looked nervously to me, but I shrugged and nodded toward the phone. If it was someone in Hojo's employ, she needed to act as though nothing was wrong. Which meant that I couldn't answer the phone for her.

She took a deep breath before pulling the device off the wall. "Hello?"

Thank goodness for my fantastic sense of hearing. "It's me."

Reeve was a smart man; he knew Aerith would recognize his voice over the phone, without him having to name himself. We'd risked a fair amount thus far, gathering everyone together like this; the last thing we needed was well hidden wire tap exposing us.

"I'm glad you called, I was beginning to wonder." She sighed, then smiled up at me.

"I'm just around the block, with a few guests. Would you mind opening the door for us?"

"I'll be right there." She hung up the phone and took a deep breath. I could feel the sudden anxiety that washed over her.

I stole a kiss. "You can do this," I reassured her. "You bested one of the most powerful men on the planet, and now have him eating from your palm." To emphasize my point, I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed the center of her soft palm. "There is nothing you can't do."

She smiled, anxiously, and shook her head. "I can't stop the world from turning," she sighed as she pushed past me and stood in front of the door. Another deep breath. A knock. One more deep breath.

Aerith turned the handle and opened the door.

And was instantly pounced on by a small, fairy-like creature. Her dark hair and grey eyes marked her as Wutain, but she didn't bother paying me even a second of attention. Tears were streaming down her face the instant she had her arms around Aerith's neck.

My flower girl hugged her assailant back, patting her shoulders. "I missed you too, Yuffie." She guided her guests inside, the little Wutain, Reeve following close behind, and, last through the door, a tall shadow draped in black leather and red.

The instant our eyes met - the door wasn't even shut, for Gaia's sake - he had his gun out and leveled right at my head. I held up my hands and froze, offering my palms to the air as a sign of submission. "I appreciate the both of you coming to our aid," I said, bowing my head respectfully.

Yuffie, as Aerith had called her, turned around and squeaked when she laid her eyes upon me, spinning Aerith around to her backside and holding her arms out in front of her, as if to shield my flower girl from me.

"Reeve," the shadow hissed.

Reeve was gracious enough to shut the door. Then, he laid his hand on the gun pointed directly at me, and forced it down. "Yuffie, Vincent; I'm sure you remember Sephiroth."

Though both were apprehensive, neither of them looked upon me with disgust. Reeve crossed the room and held out his hand, which I shook with both of mine. "Thank you for this," I offered. "When this is over, I request that you let me know how to repay you."

Reeve smiled. "You brought Aerith back to us. That's more than enough."

Yuffie ran a hand through her hair. "Okay, when you said than an old friend needed our help, I had no idea that he would be involved, too." She said he with as much love as one might say roadkill.

Aerith took Yuffie's hand and gave it a squeeze. "People change, Yuffie. You know this." She guided the Wutain to the couch, and we all sat, like somewhat normal people, around the coffee table. Aerith bustled about, bringing the goodies she'd spent the day baking to the living room, loading everyone up with sweets.

Through the entire ordeal, the shadow, Vincent, cemented his gaze on me. He looked away when he accepted a square of coffee cake from Aerith, a smile flashing over his thin lips and lighting up his pale face, but I could see he was still keeping me within the sight of the edges of his vision. I could smell his apprehension; not, however, fear, which suited me just fine. My days of tyranny were over.

As soon as Aerith was finished making sure her guests were comfortable, she directed me to sit on the opposite side of the couch as Yuffie, and she sat in the middle. Reeve and Vincent sat across from us on the smaller arm chairs.

Yuffie looped her arms around one of Aerith's, and curled right up next to her, practically sitting her her lap. Aerith, however, didn't seem to mind, and clutched one of Yuffie's hands in hers.

For just a moment, I let guilt consume me as I looked on them. I'd stolen away their friendship when I'd taken the flower girls' life. Before my time with Aerith, I hadn't quite understood love. I thought how devastated I would be if I lost her, and a wave a sickness nearly stole me.

I must have let my thoughts show for the briefest of moments, for when I looked up, Vincent was still starring at me, but his hard look had somewhat softened. I broke eye contact, and leaned against the back of the couch, letting out a sigh.

"So, Reeve," Aerith began. "How much did you tell them?"

Reeve grinned, his look guilty. "Enough to get them here, really. This is more yours and Sephiroth's story than it is mine, and, given how fanciful it is in some respects, I thought it would be better told from your mouths. After all, you convinced me."

"When will the others arrive?"

"Soon enough. I made sure that we were the first, however; I didn't want this to turn ugly."

"I can understand how it might," Yuffie scoffed. The comment was directed my way, but wasn't truly meant to hurt. It was a simple fact - had Cloud been the first to arrive, half of the city would likely have been leveled in the aftermath. Reeve worked as a good mediator. After all, he worked for ShinRa; half of his job, already, was political boot-licking and bullshitting.

"If you guys don't mind, I'd just as soon wait until everyone gets here to go over the entire story, and why we called you here."

Vincent broke his gaze away from me momentarily. "I think that's for the best. There's no reason to start the story over and over again, when everyone needs to hear it. But, would you mind gracing us a condensed version? I truly wish to know what's going on. I feel as though I have no footing."

Aerith nodded, reluctantly. She took a deep breath, and a moment to gather what must have been erratic thoughts, and began. "Hojo found a way to bring us back to life. He was controlling Sephiroth by the collar around his neck, and the manipulate materia embedded within it, and was forcing him to assassinate people."

Vincent sat back. "Forcing? Given his previous record, I find this... a little hard to comprehend."

Aerith nodded and sighed. "I know. And from an outside perspective, I can understand how you think that way. Each time he would leave he looked so pained, and even more so when he returned. Once, I was afraid I'd lost him completely within his own mind he'd retreated so far back into himself."

"And the collar made him do it?" Yuffie motioned toward the device around my neck. "What's to stop him from chopping us all up into little bits right now?"

"The materia in the collar is broken, so he's no longer is under Hojo's control, but the collar itself is still tracking his vitals, so we think we have the upper hand; given certain events, we suspect Hojo knows nothing of the break."

Vincent shook his head. "I would think Hojo capable of seeing right through such a ruse. I think you're too quick to jump to thinking you've the better footing."

I shook my head, this time interjecting. "He thinks the collar is perfect, but he didn't come to understand small a few loopholes that plagued it. Hojo sent one of his spies along to bother Aerith, and Reeve and I... took care of him. Before, however, I'd pretended to still be under the collar's command, and he phoned Hojo to ask what should be done; I'd taken out some bugs that had been set in the apartment earlier in the day, and I convinced them that I'd done so thinking it was someone else - likely you all - who had placed them. When Hojo gave me another order over the phone, I faked the sickness that always follows, and as soon as the phone was hung up I took the spy in custody."

"Custody?"

Aerith bit her lip. "He's in the pantry, knocked clean out. See, he'd been the one to find me here in the first place; he posed as someone on vacation, and tried to get close to me. I... I guess I'm just too trusting sometimes." She shrugged, looking down.

Yuffie scrunched her face. "How did you get out of Hojos' clutches in the first place?"

Aerith placed her free hand on my knee. "Sephiroth saved me, and through a clever loophole in the collar's programming, was able to hide me until I was well enough to be out on my own. However, he was forced back here, and we managed to overload the collar."

"Wait, loophole? Overload? That's quite a bit to brush over."

I stepped in again. "When it's functional, I am incapable of lying, as well as doing anything other than what my given orders are. When Hojo questioned me as to where Aerith was after I'd taken her from the labs, he asked me if I'd stolen her. I hadn't stolen her; I'd set her free, and so I found the first loophole; so long as I was convinced something was truth, I could, essentially, lie. And the overload came from when Hojo ordered me to kill the person who took Aerith from him; I was set on taking my own life once I spoke to Aerith, and made her leave this place, so the collar didn't need to force my hand to do it. However, I came to realize that even if I did end myself, Hojo could bring me back. The collar, however, then tried to make me slit my own throat"

Aerith nodded. "But, from the very beginning, Hojo had ordered Sephiroth not to harm himself in any way."

Yuffie's eyes widened in understanding. "Oh, I see. You were ordered not to harm yourself, then Hojo ordered you to kill whoever took Aerith from him. But, since he didn't order you to kill yourself, since he didn't know it was you who'd taken her, the new order couldn't override the previous one of no self-harm since it wasn't directed specifically for you and it shorted."

"That's the conclusion we've drawn. Hojo has no idea he's the reason I'm free, and was able to free Aerith"

Vincent furrowed his brow. He turned to Aerith. "How long have you been living here?"

Aerith fidgeted, then bit her lip. "Nearly half a year." Her admission was hushed, embarrassed.

Yuffie pouted. "Why didn't you get in touch with us sooner?"

"I don't... I don't know. I was scared of what was happening, I was scared of how I felt, and that we might go after Sephiroth after he helped me, after he... he changed. We were together for so long, and we... I was just frightened. I didn't want to be a burden to you."

Yuffie wrapped her arms around Aerith. "You're never a burden. I'm so glad you're here."

Vincent took a bite of his coffee cake. "So you say he's changed. What proof have we?"

Leaning forward in his seat, Reeve cleared his throat. " I vouch for him. I give you my word."

Looking to Aerith and then to me, Vincent sighed. "And what good is your word in this situation? How do I know that you aren't being controlled? We all saw Cloud's iron will falter under... his."

Picking up her shaking hand from my knee, Aerith leaned away from Yuffie and laced her fingers through mine. "Because, Vincent, he's done nothing but help me. He saved me, nursed me back to health, all the while trying to keep his identity from me. And..."

She paused and took a deep breath.

I looked to her, and squeezed her hand. She looked up to me, smiled, and turned back to Vincent.

"Oh, angels, Aerith-"

"I love him."

Yuffie's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. Reeve cleared his throat, but smiled, knowingly. Vincent's nostrils flared and he took a deep breath. Given the tension that rose suddenly in the room, I though he might explode; after all, the anger of a quiet man often turns to be the most fearsome. Just look at me.

"Aerith..."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I know what you're going to say. I know, far better than you, Vincent Valentine, what this man has done, and is capable of. And no, in case you were going to ask that, too, I don't care what Cloud thinks."

The silence that stretched between us lasted eons. Finally, Reeve spoke. "And this is why I didn't say anything before we got here."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me. I covered my mouth with my hand to hide my amusement. "I never expected your friends to trust me, flower girl," I sighed, kissing her temple and standing up. I let go of her hands. "The only thing that matters is that we figure out some way to take Hojo down. As it stands, I think this room needs one less person for now. When things settle down, or when you feel the time is right, come get me." Casually, I stole a few books from the bookshelf before exiting the living room and making my way down the hallway and into the bedroom. I eased myself against the headboard, pillows behind me, and lost myself in a novel.

For now, things would be tense. And it would only get worse when the rest of her friends arrived. Especially Cloud. If Vincent had reacted in such a way, I knew I was in deep with the rest of them. Cloud would fight me, tooth and nail, physically, mentally, verbally. He's good to a fault, but not forgiving.

Ah, let the puppet squirm. Aerith had proclaimed her love for me in the company of her friends; it mattered little what they thought of it. Even with all that was happening, I couldn't help but smile.

She loved me. She'd said it herself.

Now I knew how the heartsick Soldiers I'd commanded felt. I'd had always told them to wash such silly things from their head while they were in my company, but now I understood how ignorant I'd been. One does not simply forget about love. It follows you, cloaks you in warmth, dresses up your fears so that they don't seem quite as daunting.

Let Cloud come. Let him squawk and spit fire.

I found myself wondering of things that I'd never before considered. What did the future hold for us, not just for Aerith and I but for all of her friends as well?

She was so adamant on leaving Hojo alive. No matter how he had wronged her, she stood by her decision and refused to give into the darkness. However, if we didn't deal with Hojo quickly, neither of us would be satisfied with the end result. As good as I might be tracking people, if Hojo didn't want to be found I might never even catch a glimpse of him again.

And what of Cloud and the others? Would they try to keep her from me, lock her away like some precious treasure? No doubt she was, of course, but despite her fragile appearance and docile look, she was fearsome and strong in ways most men could never guess.

And what of... What of us? Of our... relationship? I've never really courted a woman. Dating always seemed so trivial when women would toss their underthings at me when I walked down the streets. Aerith? I'll always say it; she's an enigma. How she's come to squander her love on someone like me will ever remain a mystery, but I wouldn't refuse it for a moment. I am aware of the preciousness that is the gift of love.

My pondering came to a sudden halt when a soft knock sounded from behind the door. "Come in," I offered, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and sitting up.

I had expected Aerith, but it was Yuffie who had opened the door. She scooted through the sliver she'd opened, then closed it quietly behind her. She took a moment to look around the room before sighing.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I asked, moving over so that there would be room on the bed if she decided to sit.

I was somewhat pleased when she did; she, like my flower girl, showed little fear.

"It's just getting a little crowded in there, and I figured you could use some company. Also, Aerith told me to tell you to hide your aura a little better. Cloud should be here soon."

I took a deep breath and relaxed, trying to hide my presence as best I could. Power, after all, may not be hard to disguise, but is difficult to hide. I turned to my unexpected guest. "I can tell you have something on your mind. Would you share it with me?"

Yuffie met my gaze, chewing on her bottom lip. "You're not like I expected you to be."

"I apologize for not meeting your standards, but much has changed in the last year since my resurrection."

She waved the comment off. "No, no, not like that. We chased you around the world and back again, this whole time convinced you were some great, evil creature, when in reality you're..."

She turned her gaze from mind, twirling her hands in mid air, obviously searching for a word on the tip of her tongue.

"Just a man?"

She wrinkled her nose at the notion. "No. Polite."

I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing out. "I've been called many things, but polite?"

She shrugged and looked back to me, sly smile gracing her lips. "Well, you've been nothing but nice since we got here. And Gaia knows Vincent can be a pain to deal with."

"He seems like he treats you well enough."

Her cheeks flushed red. I smiled and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Good guess."

"Not assumption, observation. The mark on your neck, and the fact that you smell like him; all signs point to the conclusion that you're involved."

"Yeah, well, it took a few years for him to come around. We had to travel the world again, and fall into all kinds of danger."

"So, normalcy for you, I suppose?"

She giggled. "I like this version of you better than the old. Decent upgrade, I'd say."

"You didn't much know the one from before, to be fair."

Yuffie tilted her head, studying me. "I guess not, not really. But, can you blame me for not wanting to?"

I sighed and looked down at my hands. "I wasn't always mad, you know. But, believing that you're a test-tube creation, spawned and genetically altered to be the strongest being imaginable, it comes as no surprise that I sought god-hood. But, once upon a time, I, too, had friends. I knew Cloud before... Not well, but well enough for any soldier and commanding officer."

I watched as she kicked her feet a little. "You ruined Wutai. That used to really bother me. That was part of the reason I joined Cloud and the others. You and Shinra fucked Wutai up the ass."

"I wasn't fighting for Shinra, I was fighting because of them. 'I was following orders' is a terrible excuse, but when all you know is to follow orders, there's little else left for you to do. Combat was my only freedom, even if I was forced into battle in the first place. Wutai was a place of beauty before the war. Even though it matters little now, I am, truly, sorry."

She shook her head. "Sorry always matters; don't let people tell you it doesn't. It's a little easier, now, to look on my past and see that the man who brought my homeland to its knees can still think back to its beauty after all of these years."

A comfortable silence filled the room, and we were content to simply sit next to one another. We weren't friends, but perhaps we were no longer enemies.

"You at least gave me purpose," she sighed. "If it wasn't for the fall of Wutai, I wouldn't have wanted to restore glory to my homeland, which meant that I would have grown up the way my father wanted me to; like a princess, primed and polished to one day take over the throne."

"Ah. You're a princess."

She shrugged. "Kind of. My dad isn't a king, but he might as well be. He's been leader of Wutai for - what? - thirty-odd years."

"Royal life too much for you?" I teased.

"Have you ever had to wear a kimono? Hell, ever tried to walk in a kimono?"

"Can't say that I have."

She suddenly sat up straight and threw her nose into the air, gaining a posh accent. "Then I suggest you hold your tongue."

We both snickered.

"Even though I should hate you," she finally sighed, "for what you took from me, I find that if Aerith had it in her to forgive you, maybe you're not such a terrible person. I mean, Reeve seems to like you, too. Maybe I'll be next to give it a shot."

"I'd appreciate the opportunity. But, kindling friendships will have to wait until after this entire ordeal is over. First, we must stop Hojo."

Scratching the back of her head, Yuffie sighed. "There really isn't a way around it. Something's got to be done about him. I mean, hey, I'm glad he brought Aerith back and all, but we aren't exactly on good terms as far as I'm concerned. I hear he's a real dick bag."

"That's to put it politely. He's a sadist to the highest degree, and holds no value for human life. He had me offing people left and right because of stupid political reasons, or, very recently, because they wouldn't submit to him and allow themselves to be tested upon."

"Recently?"

"I've only been out of the collar's control for hardly a few days. Up until then, I was commanded to assassinate people. I lost track of time, stuck under the labs, hidden away from everyone, so I'm not truly sure when my last mission was, but..."

"But?"

"I arrived here in Costa del Sol after one of Hojo's spies found Aerith. I was sent to capture her, but, through mostly dumb luck and loopholes with the programming of the collar, we managed to crack the materia. Around that time, Aerith and I had been talking - she was happy to see me, thinking that I'd come to visit, unaware that I'd been commanded to take her back with me - and she'd put to rest the several spirits that I had following me, mourning not their own deaths, but keeping watch over me."

She smiled, oddly. "You had the spirits of the dead watching over you?"

I wanted to confide in her. Aerith trusts her; what reason did I have not to? "Might I tell you a secret?"

Her eyes went wide and she leaned in toward me. She nodded, hopeful.

"Back at the place I resided, under the labs in Midgar, I had a garden. It was my secret place where I felt nothing could hurt me. For each life I took, I created a statue to watch over me, so that I might ask forgiveness, so that I might never forget their faces."

"You made statues? How? Like, with a hammer and chisel?"

"Might I see your bracelet?"

Yuffie eyes me curiously, a little apprehensively, then handed me the metal band.

I closed my hands around the piece, closed my eyes, then sighed. I closed out all outer distractions; the only thing in the room besides myself was the bracelet. When I opened my hands, the bracelet was an ornate key.

Yuffie gasped and tentatively reached up. Before she touched the key, she turned her gaze to me, her eyes wide with wonder, and asked without words if she could take it. I smiled and nodded. She turned the key over and over again her hands, looking over every detail.

"Should I change it back?" I offered.

She shook her head and clutched the key close.

I smiled.

She turned her head when she looked up at me. "I'd like to see your garden someday, if this key is anything like your statues."

I reached out my hand. "Can you grant me a moment of your trust?"

She didn't even hesitate - her hand was in mine before I'd even finished my sentence. "Relax. Let everything float away - open your mind."

If I was asked why I was so keen to share my secret with someone, I fear I wouldn't be able to formulate an answer that would be in any way satisfactory. I'd never known true friendship, love, until Aerith. My previous friends were more estranged comrades in arms; we fought together, beside each other, drank at times and reminisced at others, and had shared secrets, but... it was more them than I. I'd always been the odd one out, the last to hear an inside joke, the last to be invited.

Perhaps now that I knew what proper human interaction was, I was simply craving more.

It didn't matter. It wasn't a terrible secret; Yuffie had already shown interest in it, and, for what it's worth, trusted me enough to give me her hand and close her eyes. How easy it would be to snap her bones. I would never - not now, not with who I've become. But I could, and still knowing this she waited patiently for me, her skin against mine, her eyes closed.

I took a deep breath and retreated into my mind. I picked the details I wished to show her delicately; I wanted the vision I was to share with her to be nothing but beautiful.

When I held the image in my mind, I opened myself to her.

She was a little iron box.

"Relax. Open yourself. I won't hurt you. I just want to show you something."

A tentative breath. She might not have feared me outright, but some part of her was still was wary. I understood.

But she took another breath, this one more resolved. Like a door opening, I felt her mind give in to me.

I showed her my garden. I showed her the stone faces of all those I've slain by Hojo's hand, how they had, in a way, helped me keep my mind after Aerith had left; they were my stony companions, those who looked after me, since no one else in the world would. I had apologized to nearly all of them, shed tears on behalf of each. I shared with Yuffie me at my most vulnerable.

And then, the tables turned.

She was curious, and I would later come to understand that she meant no harm, but Yuffie dove deeper, and she did so in a way I couldn't stop her. My mind was already open, and to slam it shut with her still inside would have physical repercussions; Aerith had a mind much like my own, and when I'd closed it, far earlier in our relationship, with her inside, it had sent both of us flying.

I would hate to bring harm to Yuffie, and I was already slowly gathering her conscious up and shutting it out of my own mind, but she was too fast. I was shocked at how quickly she worked, considering I would have never guessed her to have been spiritually trained so well, but she flashed through my memories - private ones, ones that hurt, and even the joyful ones, all the same - and paralyzed me with the bombardment of mental stimulation.

I tried to call her name, to beg her to stop, but it was no use - my lips wouldn't move. I almost panicked; control over my own body was something I'd only recently been blessed with, but the last thing I wanted was to hurt the girl by shutting her out with a sudden trip across the room and into the wall.

Despite my efforts to slowly close her out, she was still going through my memories as breakneck speeds. Flashes of light passed before my vision, and I was jolted with memories I'd long ago tucked away; a smile from an orderly as she slipped me a slice of apple behind Hojo's back, the smell of the ocean outside of Junon at sunrise; the feel of a needle pricking my arm as Hojo strapped me to a table after I refused to submit, but only after he'd beaten me; the sound of the rain on leather as I wait for the little pink-clad woman to stand on the altar before her friends. Other - newer, fresher - memories raced past; I wasn't closing her off fast enough, and she apparently had an insatiable curiosity; my sessions with Hojo's appointed psychotherapist; the tears that fell when I held the bodies of two little children in my arms; my heart breaking as I slit my own throat while Aerith screamed for me to stop; the taste of her flesh as we made love-

Nope. I was done. I slammed up my mental walls and sent the both of us flying. The back of my head made contact with the wall, and the stud behind the drywall and paint, and for a moment I saw stars. I watched, helplessly, as Yuffie toppled off the edge of the bed and into the wall, but she didn't cry out. When my vision cleared, I moved to help the poor girl, but she, like Aerith, seemed to be farm more resilient than she appeared and was already on her feet.

Before I could ask if she was well, however, she'd thrown her arms around my middle and began to weep.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she bawled.

"Yuffie, it's fine. You were just curious. I'm sorry there wasn't much else I could do than shut you out, but-"

"No, you idiot," she wailed. "I'm sorry for what's been done to you."

I didn't know what to say. She was remorseful for a past she had no hand in, no way she could have done anything to save me. In fact, it was only by her grace, coupled with Cloud's and the others, that granted me the true freedom of death, albeit however short.

The bedroom door flew off its hinges, and in less time that it took me to look up there was a triple-barreled gun pointing directly at my face. "What did you do to her?" Vincent demanded of me.

I shook my head, reaching up and petting Yuffie's cropped hair. "I shared memory with her, that's all."

Vincent's nostrils flared in anger and bewilderment.

Aerith tumbled past him a moment later, being unable to keep up with his super-human speed. Vincent, much like myself, had an obviously dark past. Aerith, however, was having none of it and gripped Vincent's arm and attempted to make him holster his gun. When he was unrelenting, my flower spread her arms and stepped in front of the barrel. "Vincent, I need you to calm down."

I don't know how I'd missed it before, but Vincent's eyes were glowing a bright, bloody red. He looked to Aerith, then to Yuffie, his entire body tense. I could feel a low pressure surrounding us, a strange tension that filled the air with a thick, almost musky smell.

Yuffie leaned away from me, wiping her eyes. "I'm fine, I promise."

Vincent holstered his gun, then turned his icy gaze to me. I looked past him, however, into the doorway, as several new sets of eyes were upon me; the pilot, the pugilist, the gun-armed tank of a man, and the fire-cat.

And then, from behind them all, Cloud. As he looked upon me, it wasn't hatred that crossed his features, nor was it fear; anguish and sadness washed over him like a a wave, as if looking upon me had washed all joy from his life.

Then, he turned his gaze to Aerith, who only just was turning to look toward the doorway. His eyes instantly went wide and his lips parted as he sucked in air, unashamed by his surprise.

She lunged for him, something I suspected he'd do himself if she hadn't acted first. He wrapped his arms around her, his gaze lost, his breath short, gathering her hair in his fingers and clutching at her like a wild man.

"What, in the name of the planet, is going on?" he choked out.

I stood, helping Yuffie to her feet as well, though she clutched at my sleeve for support. I caught Cloud's gaze again, a stricken look of disbelief and astonishment on his visage.

"I need your help."


	10. Dying Stars

Chapter 10: Dying Stars****

Cloud was silent the entire time the story was relayed, as was I. I let Aerith speak for me, retell everything for what felt like the millionth time. I was so weary of hearing my own story that I began to find myself boring.****

Yuffie, however, seemed to find me very interesting after our little mind-melding mishap. She clung to me like a lost child, and I remained unable to get a good emotional reading off of her. Based on how the others were reacting to her silence, I came to surmise she might have otherwise been quite chatty. I sat on the loveseat next to Aerith, and Yuffie sat on the armrest next to me, hovering, nearly touching but never quite, like she was almost afraid I'd crumble under her fingers were she to reach out. It was strange; I'd never known to be pitied in such a way. Aerith was the only other to really know much of my past, and while I knew she felt empathy for what I'd gone through, she was smart enough to know that the past is not something that be pitied away, and instead helped me change who I should become a minute from now, an hour, a week, a month, a year.****

It seemed that, in that respect, Yuffie was very much still a child. No, not still a child. Simply not able to understand.****

Did I mention how I'm not used to human interaction? I could order a squadron of soldiers into battle in the safest and most strategic way, but if I were to be asked any more than their names I would be unable to tell you the first thing about any of them. I was their leader, their best bet to survive a fight, not their friend. Other than a select few, just as crazy as I if not more so, I had no friends. Technically, I didn't; most of those I once considered to be close to - or at least as close as someone like me could be - had died, or been declared missing so long it was highly unlikely that they were still alive.****

Aerith? She was... more than a friend. More than a lover, to be sure. She was my sunshine, warm and clean and bright and-****

Cloud stood and spoke for the first time in three hours. "Aerith, can I... talk to you? Just you. Please?"****

Aerith looked to me, worriedly. She bit her lip in an anxious manner, but it only served to make her look innocent and bewildered; I doubt she had a facial expression that could combat the constant look of innocence about her, but I stopped myself before I smiled at her. I'm sure my smile would likely terrify her friends, each for reasons of their own. I merely shrugged and nodded, avoiding eye contact with Cloud. She stood and followed him down the hallway.****

To say the silence that stretch between all of us was awkward would be a gross understatement. Seven pairs of eyes stared me down, varying looks on each of them, ranging from disgust to worry. I took them all in stride; I wasn't exactly expecting a welcoming party on my behalf.****

Yuffie broke the silence, but first climbed right over top of me and stole Aerith's seat. She crossed her legs under her, our knees touching, then crossed her arms over her chest. A heavy sigh, then a grimace. "So, you guys going to help us, or what?"****

**"**Us? Yuffie, this is a lot to swallow," reprimanded Tifa. "I mean, I'm currently sharing a room, as well as coffee cake and a cup of tea, with the man that killed my father, nearly killed me, then razed my hometown to the ground. And let's not forget about all of that 'trying to kill everyone so he can be reborn into a god' stuff."****

I cleared my throat. "I'm not asking forgiveness, Miss Lockheart. I'm merely asking for your cooperation in bringing Hojo down. Keep in mind; if he'd never toyed with my life in the first place, I, nor all of you, would be here, let alone in this predicament. I don't care what judgement you pass to me; you'll do it anyway. But, for the time being, we have more pressing matters at hand than personal grudges."****

Her face colored, and while my words were perhaps a bit harsh, I hadn't meant to anger her. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I was a different man then. I'm not a better man, but I'm changing, I'm trying. I wasn't always insane, you know; Cloud, the very man you put your trust and friendship in, once wanted to be like me."****

**"**That was before we had to chase your twisted ass halfway around the planet and back, overstepping the bodies your left behind, the lives you ruined." The pilot took a long drag from his cigarette.****

**"**And you're the same man now as you were a decade ago, I'm sure," I retorted, feeling even more drained than ever.****

Cid rolled his eyes. "Puh-lees. I ain't got a trail of bodies behind me, and blood that don't wash off my hands. What did Aerith say? Two little ones?"****

Outraged, I stood.****

But, surprisingly, Yuffie beat me to it. "Shut up, you crusty old codger. If you would get your head out of your ass for a minute you might have heard that he wasn't able to control his own body when he did it. Didn't you hear Aerith? Didn't you see how tense and lost inside of himself he became when she was talking about it?"****

Vincent stood as well, putting his hands out to attempt to silence the both of them. "Personal grudges aside, please. It's bigger than that - this isn't about _us_."****

The fire cat raised his hackles and hissed. "The hell it isn't. He took Aerith from us-"****

**"**And he kept her safe, and freed her, when Hojo would have kept her, broken her, and done planet knows what to her. He could have killed her again. Hell, he could kill half of us right now before we would know what was happening. All he's asking us is to help take Hojo down." Yuffie was so mad she stomped her foot.****

I shook my head. "I'm not asking forgiveness. I'm merely asking your aid. If we don't stop Hojo, he will never stop hunting Aerith or I, and if you understand anything, let it be this; Hojo is unrelenting. He might hide for a time, so well none of us would ever hope to find him. But, he would -never- stop his search for Aerith. And, if I ever fall under his command again, I might be the one to deliver her to him."****

All eyes were on me, but the looks behind them were conflicted. I knew the majority of them hated me. I wasn't looking to change that. Let them hate me, if it gave them so much purpose. But, if it was the last thing I did, I would end Hojo, once and for all. I would protect Aerith with my last breath if it came to that.****

I exited the living room and walked down the hallway, intent on seeing why Cloud and Aerith were taking so long. I stood just outside the doorway to the bedroom, listening past the din of arguments that were echoing from the way I'd just come.****

Cloud's voice was pained. "I just don't understand. Why, of all people, _him_?"****

**"**You're acting like I had a choice in the matter. You can't just tell your heart who to love."****

**"**He's taken so much from so many people."****

**"**Don't talk to me about what he's stolen, Cloud Strife. I know _damn_well what he's taken."****

I stepped into the room. Aerith turned her head to look over her shoulder at me, and Cloud caught a glimpse of her neck. His eyes widened, and then he looked to me like some heartsick puppy.****

**"**_You didn't_."****

Aerith turned back to him, confused. "Did what?"****

I stayed still, not wanting to instigate anything between us. "We need to discuss what's to be done about Hojo."****

**"**No, we need to discuss_this_."****

**"**I'm not entering a pissing match with you, Strife, when Aerith's well-being is in danger."****

**"**You took her once and you still weren't satisfied, so you had to take her again, didn't you?"****

Aerith's hand shot up to her neck, touching the mark I'd left on her soft skin. Her face flushed when she realized the second meaning behind Cloud's words.****

**"**I took nothing that wasn't freely given." My words, too, had a double meaning; once, she'd given me her life on an altar, and once she'd let me elevate her to one.****

**"**You don't deserve a fraction of what she's worth."****

**"**And I'm painfully aware of my undeserved wealth."****

Aerith sighed. "That's enough testosterone slinging for right now, please."****

Cloud outright ignored her. "You have no idea of your worthlessness."****

I sighed. "I do."**  
><strong>**  
><strong>He looked shocked, like he'd expecting a fight.****

**"**I understand what I've done. I'd offer my apology, but it would change nothing, least of all your mind."****

**"**Boys, please-"****

Cloud stepped between Aerith and I, his jaw set tight. "You're right, because no amount of well-wishing will bring my mother, my hometown, or my past back to me."****

**"**But I was kind enough to return your flower."****

**"**Far from unscathed. What did you do to steal her heart?I know too well how you love to manipulate."****

**"**ENOUGH!"****

Aerith's words shook the both of us. We jumped and turned our gaze to her. Her cheeks might still have been flushed pink, but her tiny fists were clenched and she had a look about her as though she would knock our heads together as if we were misbehaving little children.****

Such power she had. Cloud and I cowed, like spoiled children who had been scolded. We both hung our heads slightly, sheepishly.****

**"**I will not have fighting in my house. If you two are going to pick one another apart with words, I'll thank you to take it outside."****

Cloud shot me a sour look, but kept his mouth shut.****

**"**I apologize, Aerith. You know how little human interaction I'm used to, and even less with antagonizing conversations. I hadn't meant for any of this; I'd called Reeve after weighing our options and seeing outside help as our only solution. I am beginning to regret it, if I'm to be honest."****

**"**It would be easier if you were to just slit his throat. But that's not how it should be done."****

Cloud looked between the two of us. "You're serious? The only reason you haven't gone after Hojo, the only reason you haven't gutted the bastard, is because she's asked you not to?"****

**"**Though I don't agree with her opinion, I understand, now, that life is precious. True, Hojo is undeserving of one, but Aerith is adamant that justice will prevail through means other than bloodshed."****

Cloud snorted. "That, and I know how hard he is to kill; he's a like a cockroach."****

I actually smiled at the assessment. "He isn't _like_a cockroach; he _is_one."****

The side of Cloud's mouth lifted in a smile he was attempting to hide. So many differences, but at least we could agree on something.****

I held out my hand in a gesture of goodwill. "We aren't forgetting things past; I'm not asking you to. But Hojo needs to be taken down, and we are the only ones capable of it."****

He sighed, his half-smile vanished. After a long moment, he held out his hand and shook mine. "This isn't over."****

**"**Not by a long shot," I agreed as we exited the bedroom. I sighed once were out; I'd fully expected Cloud to have socked me in the face.****

Aerith shook her head, though she didn't seem too upset. When we returned to the living room, there was a full on shouting match in progress, though it dimmed as the three of us entered the room.****

**"**Cloud Strife," Yuffie pointed her finger, adding an air of accusation to her already angry tone. "So help me, if we don't lend a hand to this problem, I'll kick your ass."****

I thought for a moment how terribly funny it would be to see Yuffie, a little wisp of a woman, tearing into Cloud, the only being who could prove to be a physical match for me. I hid another smile.****

**"**Relax, Yuffie. We're going to help."****

Tifa crossed her arms. "I have no problem helping Aerith, but _him_?"****

**"**We're not forgiving him, and I'm not asking you to forget what he did. But for right now, we are all in danger. What if Hojo got a hold of one of you, and used them to hunt the rest of us? Would you be willing to kill a friend to save everyone elses?"****

The room was so quiet that several people jumped when the refrigerator suddenly turned on. Cloud had struck home; none of them would be able to hurt another if it ever came to that. They might fight back out of instinct, but once the collar was on and given a command, it was unrelenting.****

Reeve stood, pounding the remains of his third glass of hard cider and setting the empty glass on the countertop behind him. "If we are going to move, we need to do it now. We need to formulate a plan, and it needs to be good, and it needs to be fast."****

Tifa pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Alright. I'll do it for Aerith."****

Everyone nodded; they all had the same idea. Protecting Aerith was their common goal, a want so great that they were willing to overlook me for the time being in order to protect her.****

And so, we planned. It was a remarkably simple idea we came to; I would take Aerith back, make it look like I'd captured her, and fake any command Hojo gave until it was time to make our move. We'd take their airship, The Highwind, back to Midgar, but halfway through the journey I would take Aerith and fly the two of us directly to the compound. The ship would dock outside of Kalm and its occupants would then approach the city by foot as to remain inconspicuous. Vincent, apparently capable of spectrum shifting and controlled flight like myself, would follow close, and with him he would bring Cloud, both remaining invisible and in close pursuit. They would provide my backup, were anything to take a turn for the worst. Those that enter the city by foot would meet with several Shinra response teams, care of Reeve's connections, and block off the building so that any surface escape would be unlikely. Even if Hojo were to be notified of our impending strike, there would be nowhere for him to run.****

We decided to act immediately. I dug through the closet and pulled Lukka loose, rifled through his pockets and pulled out his phone. Everyone in the room held their breath as I dialed the last called number from just days before.****

One ring. Two. Three, four five - shit, it was going to go to voice mail, wasn't it?****

**"**What is it? You'd better have something to actually report today."****

**"**The boy's been compromised. I have the girl. I'm returning."****

Stunned silence. Then, I could almost hear his greasy smile. "Good. Hurry back." I flipped the phone closed and everyone in the room let out a collective breath. Step one was complete. Now, we left.****

Aerith didn't bother packing, though we did make sure to lock the door as the last of us ventured out. If Hojo had one set of eyes on the girl, he likely had many, and so in two groups Vincent and I led our ragtag team through the streets by the cover of moonlight and to the docks. Invisible, we boarded the ship on the outskirts of town and took to the skies.****

We maintained steady pace - as fast as the damn thing could go, in order to make it look like, to those tracking me, that I was merely on my way back to Midgar. Regardless, it would be several hours until we reached the point of our journey in which we would split into two groups, and so everyone was resting. Aerith and I shared a meal with her friends in the common dining area of the ship, but I didn't feel like I could stomach much.****

My entire body hummed with the prospect of bringing Hojo to his knees. At the flower girl's wish, I would let him keep his life. I would, however, make him beg me to take it.****

Oh, I would leave him his life, but I would destroy what little shriveled soul he had left.****

I decided I needed fresh air and excused myself from the table and simply wandered the halls until I found a door to the outside. I unlocked it with my mind, and stepped out into the brisk wind. The sun was just rising over the horizon. My hair whipped around my face. It would be time to leave the ship in less than two hours.****

I turned when I heard the door open. It was Aerith, and she smiled up at me. She opened her mouth to speak to me, but the sound of the wind and propellers was deafening drowned out whatever it was she had to say. I shook my head and pointed to my ears, indicating that I couldn't hear her. We moved inside and shut the door, my fresh air break over nearly as soon as it started.****

**"**I just wanted to make sure you're doing alright," she sighed, leaning up against the wall next to me.****

**"**To be honest, I'm terrified. I'm confronting the man that made my entire life a living hell. He ruined me."****

Aerith took my hands in hers, pulling me close. "You're not ruined, merely broken. Broken things can be fixed, can be put back together."****

I sighed. She was so pure, and so sure of the good in people. "Little flower, I'm not certain I can keep my anger hidden much longer."****

She reached up and cupped my face in her hands. "Anger?"****

**"**I want, so terribly, to slit his throat, to spill his blood. He's hurt so many."****

**"**And by hurting him, you will only perpetuate the cycle he forced you into. Don't give in to your anger, to your hatred." She smiled up at me, tilting her head. "I didn't, and look where we are."****

She stood on her toes to kiss me. Once, twice, my lips, my cheeks, my eyelids. I clutched her waist, feeling like I was both burning and falling.****

I hadn't even noticed when Cloud had entered the hallway. He cleared his throat and I jumped; he was on edge because I was around, and once I realized it, I could sense how he was attempting to hide himself and his aura. He, after all, wanted the upper hand if I decided to turn against them. I commended his foresight, but wished he would put his mind to the task at hand instead of toward his insecurities.****

Aerith pulled away from me, but didn't bother to look embarrassed or shamed. She'd been clear with Cloud; you couldn't tell your heart who to love. I took one of her hands and twined our fingers together, not wanting to let go just yet.****

He looked between us for several moments, as if gauging what next could come from his mouth, but when he finally decided to speak, he was civil. "We're nearing the separation point. I just wanted to make sure the two of you are ready. Once we take to the air, we won't be able to communicate."****

**"**We'll meet you on the bridge when it's time, don't worry. We just need a little time to talk, that's all." Aerith smiled at him, and he stared back at her for a quiet moment. He then looked to me, as if I would provide him with answers. I met his stare, but without hostility; if she wanted to talk to me, that's what she was going to do.****

Finally, he nodded, then turned on his heels and made his way back the way he'd ventured from.****

Aerith tugged on our hands, the ones that remained interlocked, and guided me down, further into the bowels of the ship. "I never got a chance to ride on this ship before. I got a chance to escape the slums and travel the world, but it was by foot or boat; I never was able to fly in an actual ship."****

**"**She's a thing of beauty. That pilot friend of yours sure seems to know his way through the sky."****

**"**He was the first man in space."****

I made a soft noise of surprise. Though she was looking at all of the machinery we passed by, she was leading me deeper and deeper into the ship. There was something more than just talking on her mind, and it was unlike her to be so secretive.****

**"**Aerith, where are you taking me?"****

She looked at me and smiled over her shoulder, batting her long eyelashes innocently.****

Oh.****

She led me into a maintenance closet and promptly attacked me. I was up against the door the moment it was closed, and she'd wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. It was hot and sweet, but it felt desperate.****

**"**Aerith, stop. Why this, why now? We are on the eve of something gigantic for the both of us, for all of us, and this seems like... just a distraction."****

She sighed against me. "I know. But I want a distraction. I want you to distract me." She pushed her hips against mine. "And I know that you could use one, too."****

She stilled, and I knew the next move was mine. I, however, would test the waters before jumping in.****

**"**Aerith, is this about more than just distractions."****

Another sigh. "The time I've spent with you recently has been... liberating. I've never felt so free, so wanted. Don't get me wrong, seeing all of my friends has brought me such joy, but... Once this is over, there'll be talk of what to do next, and I know some of my friends might fight over who I am to stay with until they all decide what to do with you. I don't want it to be like that, I want to stay with you."****

I could smell her tears, though her voice didn't shake. She was frustrated, and needed something that I would willingly give her, something she'd already had, and craved again.****

**"**The way Cloud looks at me- it's like I some divine being, haunting him from his dreams. He would never be so crass and unkind as to force me to hide away, but he's not going to let me out of his sight until he understands that I'm not quite so fragile any longer. And you," she kissed my forehead to emphasize her point, "might look at me like I'm a goddess, but behind your eyes and voice I can see and hear how much you want me. I'm precious to you, but you don't treat me like I'll crumble under you."****

She wiped her face with her palms. "I don't understand why, but I love you so much."**  
><strong>**  
><strong>That was all I needed. Hell, I shouldn't have needed it at all, but hearing those words fall from her lips ignited my entire being. She needed me, wanted me, not Cloud, not any other man. Me.****

I took her and pinned her to the door, lifting up the little sundress she wore all the way to her hips. We had no time for gentleness - not now, not with what we were preparing to do after our lovemaking. I tore her panties right off, threw them somewhere behind me, and growled into her neck as I lifted her off the ground and wrapped her legs around my waist.****

She whimpered - not out of fear, but out of excitement, out of need - and dipped her hands below to made quick work of my belt, despite the low level of light filtering in from under the door. Her breath was hot as it cascaded over my neck and shoulders, and it only made me want her all the more.****

Gods above, I hadn't realized how much I'd wanted her until we were joined at the hips, calling one another's names out and feeling our beating hearts as one.****

Despite our altitude, we felt the earth move together.****

She rested her head on my shoulder, panting, and ran her fingers through my hair. "Oh, Seph," she whimpered, still pressed against the door.****

**"**No one else can have you; I won't let them. You're mine."****

I felt her shiver at my words, clutch at me, despite the rest of her body being limp.****

I let those words echo throughout me. Mine. All mine. She gave herself to me, willingly, and so long as she still wanted me, I would do nothing short of please her, make her tremble with pleasure, make her scream my name.****

It would take the world to tear me from her.****

We dressed, me smoothing out her dress and apologizing for the fact that she would spend the rest of the day without underwear, and she fixing my belt and tucking in my shirt. I smoothed out her hair, but she had to rebraid it herself. I hadn't even noticed when it'd come undone.****

She laced her fingers through mine and we left the small the little maintenance closet, proud new members of the mile-high club.****

We met Cloud and the others on the bridge, just like we said we would. He looked tired and agitated, but said nothing that could be taken in a hostile manner. Perhaps he was coming to terms with the idea that while Aerith loved him, she was in love with me. I took a moment to consider the idea from his point of view, and understood why he might be so sour.****

Tifa, however, hovered over his shoulder, all the while Cloud oblivious to her obvious love for him. It pained me to think I would love someone enough to stand by their side, but never be brave enough to tell them so.**  
><strong>**  
><strong>She looked at me, glared, then looked away. Her hatred was well placed in me, but I could sense jealousy now that I could see how she looked at Cloud.****

I might pity her, if she wouldn't hate me more for it.****

Vincent stood on the bridge, leaning over the railing and peering through the glass into the bright morning sunlight. He looked back to Cloud, then to Aerith and I. "Are you ready?"****

I took a deep breath. "It's not as though we have a choice."****

**"**Just to be clear, what are our objectives?" Cloud asked as he came to stand next to us.****

**"**Subdue Hojo, sedate him if we have to, and take him into custody. There, we will decide what is to be done with him, possibly through the public justice system as those he's wronged are not limited to this group of individuals."****

**"**You'd make a good lawyer," Aerith teased.****

I snorted. "I hate paperwork." I turned to Vincent. "Follow me as best you can."****

Aerith bit her lip. "What if we lose one another? How will we regroup?"****

Cloud blinked several times, his face blank. "I hadn't thought of that."****

Vincent cleared his throat. "Sephiroth, would you mind going invisible for a moment?"****

I did as was asked of me, watching as all eyes in the room looked to where they'd seen me take up space only moments ago. Vincent smiled. Then, he turned brighter than he had been only moments before, an almost odd glow coming from behind him.****

I phased back to visible, only to watch Vincent fade out completely. I was dumbstruck. After another moment, he came back into view.****

**"**How did that work? What just happened?" I was in awe.****

**"**When we become invisible, we allow our atoms to separate and become part of another dimension. From that dimension, we can see things and people in the one we came from. That's why I couldn't see you until I faded out, and just like how, I assume based off the shock on your face, you were unable to see me when you faded out while I stayed in."****

**"**You're slipping between dimensions?" Cloud's mouth hung agape.****

**"**Well, that's my hypothesis. I'm glad I've found someone else who can fade in and out of the visible spectrum for me to test it on. We are either slipping in and out of dimensions, or my equally and as likely theory is that we can pass into spectrums of light that aren't visible to the human eye and-"****

**"**Oh my hairy aunty, Vincent; I didn't sign up for a lecture. You need to go!"**  
><strong>**  
><strong>Vincent rolled his eyes at Yuffie's outcry, but turned to ready himself. He took a deep breath, then dissolved into shadowed particles. They hovered for a moment, then drifted over to consume Cloud. It was an almost frightening sight, watching Cloud dissolve into the air. Once he was no longer whole, the shadow completely disappeared.****

I took a deep breath, gathered Aerith in my arms, faded, and took off though the front of the ship. Over my shoulder, I could see The Highwind begin to bank to the right, preparing to land near Kalm.****

I didn't have the sense to keep a lookout behind me and make sure that Vincent and Cloud were still following. I should have. Once I was near our destination, I slowed only to realize that Aerith and I were alone.****

**"**Did you see where the others went?" I questioned.****

Aerith looked up; apparently, she'd tucked her head against my shoulder and neck to keep the wind from her face. She took a deep breath, then closed her eyes. "I can't sense them. I don't know what could have happened. I didn't hear or feel them drift away from us, but I can't feel them now."****

I became uneasy. Something, a deep feeling in the pit of my stomach, told me that something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.****

But we couldn't slow down, not now. Hojo would be tracking me, and if he saw me stop while inside the city limits...****

Clutching Aerith close, I sighed. "Whatever happens, Aerith, know that I love you."****

She shifted in my arms and moved to kiss my neck. "And I you."****

**"**I might have to... do things I otherwise wouldn't."****

**"**I understand. We have to make Hojo think you're still under his power. Do whatever you need to, and I'll try my best to play along."****

**"**I'll try not to hurt you."****

She trembled in my arms.****

I phased through the building and down, into the labs. Despite my elevated blood pressure and shaking hands, I forced myself to still and let a calmness wash over me. Once this was over, I would take my precious flower far from here. We would find a place she could bloom, and our days would be filled with happiness, while our nights revolving around one other.****

He was in the main lab. When he looked up and saw me, I dropped Aerith, a little roughly, to the floor.****

Hojo smiled down at her, a toothy grin with nothing but evil behind it. She shrank back toward the wall. She wasn't acting; she was truly terrified. I didn't blame her, but nor could I offer her any comfort.****

**"**You thought you could get away, you stupid girl. Now, we have to do this the hard way. Number one, subdue her."****

I reached out and grabbed her upper arms, forcing her to stand. Once she was on her feet, I twisted her arms behind her back and held them. I kept my face stony, completely devoid of emotion. ****

Somehow, she'd managed to wiggled a few of her fingers free, and was clutching one of mine tightly. I squeezed her hand back, trying to offer some form of comfort that would remain unseen, but my reassurance did nothing for her heart rate, nor my mental state.****

Hojo backhanded her hard enough her lip split. I kept my position, kept my head, despite the fact that I was seeing red; so help me, I was going to slit his fucking throat if he touched her again. I needed an opening, a way to catch Hojo off guard, if I ever hoped to be victorious. He might not be as strong as me, but he was full of nasty tricks.****

He looked at me. "You've nothing to say about the matter?"****

**"**Why should she be free when I'm stuck in this hell hole?"****

Another smile, just as wicked.****

**"**My thoughts exactly."****

I knew he was going to move before was in motion, but I only had time to push Aerith out of the way. She hadn't even hit the floor before I was shocked with enough electricity to kill a herd of chocobos.****

Somehow, he'd known. I cursed my foolishness; I should have known better. Not once in my life had I ever gained the upperhand against him.****

He reached down toward me, something in his hand, but the world was nothing more than a blur to me; I was in such pain I'd fallen to the floor and hadn't even felt it. Then, a wild scream and a flash of color. Despite my temporary blindness, I knew what had just happened - Aerith had attacked Hojo.****

Hojo grunted, offended, and reached out to pull Aerith off his back as my vision was clearing. He threw her across the room, and she hit one of the work tables before spinning off of it and hitting the floor.****

I made to move, despite my numb limbs, but something struck the back of my head and the world began to spiral under me again.****

And then, something clicked.****

I felt the chill of metal as it closed around my neck.**  
><strong>**  
><strong>Once again, I belonged to him.****

Hojo was laughing, finding humor in such a situation. "Don't hurt me. Don't ever hurt me, or take my life."****

I puked all over the floor as my body reacted to the collar.****

Then, as the words left his mouth, I felt nothing but dread.****

**"**Collect your little Cetra bitch."****

I stood, my body completely under control of the collar and the materia within. I walked toward her, my feet heavy, my head spinning. Hojo had ordered me to collect her, but he didn't say how, or for how long. I picked her up, held her shoulders so she stood in place for a moment, then promptly let her go.****

**"**Aerith, run!" I commanded.****

Hojo shrieked, obviously having not taken into account the defect in the collar. He'd known I'd been cut loose of the ties of the previous collar, but he hadn't figured out how.****

Aerith turned and scrambled for the door, but Hojo was too fast. A long, grey-green tentacle shot out from his back and snaked its way around Aerith's arm, yanking her backwards.****

**"**You've brought this upon yourselves," Hojo spat, continuing to yank Aerith toward him. "Number one, collect her and don't let her go until you're instructed."****

My hands gripped her upper arms. She struggled, she screamed, pushing against me, trying to claw her way to freedom. "Aerith..."****

**"**Fight it, Seph! Fight it!"****

Hojo laughed. "I knew it. I knew you were the one to take her, I simply couldn't figure out how. Oh, but now I know. Wordplay, that's all it was. Well, I'll be sure to be more eloquent this time around. Hit her. Hit her, hard. In the face."****

Her eyes locked with mine, filled with such fear. With all of my soul, all of my strength, I fought my body as one of my hands raised. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much effort I put into resisting, the collar was stronger, the bond of magic triumphing over physical strength. ****

I struck her, and her lip split again. A trail of blood seeped down her chin. Tears were forming in her eyes, and she looked up at me, searching for a way out. "Fight it, Sephiroth. We've done it before, we can do it again. Fight it!"****

**"**Again."****

The meaty sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed through my mind as I struck her again and again at Hojo's command. I was sickened to the point of vomiting, but I had nothing in my stomach.****

Each time I struck her, she cried my name, not beg me to stop, but to beg me to fight.****

She was bloodied and weak when Hojo decided she'd had enough. Tears were streaming down my face, but I felt hollow inside, completely devoid of anything but fear, guilt, and regret.****

Hojo walked around us, smiling the entire time. Then, he looked me in the eyes, an evil glint shimmering behind his own. "And this will teach you to never disobey me, ever again. Sephiroth, kill her."****

The sound of a gunshot rang, clear and clean, echoing through the laboratory. Vincent and Cloud materialized just on the other side of one of the examination tables.****

Hojo shrieked and lunged at the both of them.****

**"**Cloud!" I shouted, my hands going for Aerith's neck. "Save her!"****

He didn't hesitate. Instantly, Aerith was out of my arms. She was limp and bloodied, but she was alive. But, our predicament was only growing worse.****

**"**You have to get her out of here, you have to keep her hidden," I instructed, slowly circling the table. It might have been a chase, as I'd been ordered to kill Aerith, but Hojo hadn't instructed how fast I had to move. "He snapped another collar on me, and has instructed me to kill her."****

**"**Vincent!" Cloud shouted over his shoulder. "Take her! I'll deal with Hojo!"****

Like they had rehearsed it a thousand times before, Vincent and Cloud both jumped over several tables, passing Aerith between them. "Sephiroth!" she cried, reaching for me.****

**"**Get her out of here!" I yelled, unable to stop myself from lurching toward them.****

Vincent began to dematerialize, but Hojo was prepared. Despite trying to dodge Cloud's gigantic sword, Hojo managed to pull a small device from his pocket. He aimed it at Vincent without a moment's hesitation, and the second it struck Vincent and Aerith's bodies convulsed from electric shock. They both fell to the ground, crumpling upon one another.****

Cloud made to move for his fallen comrades, but his compassion would be his undoing; Hojo took aim again, fired the device, and sent Cloud tumbling to the floor, completely unconscious.****

Fuck. Were they really both so out of practice? Had their fighting skills been shut away for so long they could no longer handle themselves in battle?****

**"**KILL HER!" he screamed, red-faced and spitting. "KILL THEM ALL!"****

I picked Aerith up by her shoulders, then gripped her neck. "Aerith, flower, I-"****

She smiled, sadly, behind split lips and lost teeth, from under swollen eyes and cheeks.****

**"**I love you," she finished for me, tears streaking down her face.****

The sound of her neck snapping and a gunshot echoed simultaneously through the lab. I fell backwards, the collar around my neck shattering into a thousand tiny pieces. She simply fell to the floor, lifeless and limp.


	11. Impassive Moon

Chapter 11: Impassive Moon****

There was nothing left for me, nothing tying me to this forsaken world. The one thing that had made me doubt the absolute corruption of this planet lay at my feet, unbreathing, unblinking, dead by my hand for the second time.****

I turned on Hojo. I was hollow inside, echoing and empty, save for the one thing left for me to do. I reached out an arm, fire engulfing the appendage all the way up to my elbow, and focused all of my hatred, abuse, and malice.****

His eyes were wide with fear over the prospect of his life ending.****

Ending by the hand of his own son.****

All of my hatred dulled. No matter how much I wanted to kill him, despite years of fantasizing about it, decades of dreaming how I'd end him and finally be free, when it came down to it, I could not kill him.****

My flower girl had taught me that all life is precious, no matter what.****

With tears rolling down my face, emptiness consuming me, I extinguished the flames licking my skin. Hojo's slumped slightly, realizing my unwillingness to kill him.****

No, I wouldn't take his life. Despite my anger, my sorrow, I could not.****

I invaded his mind, enveloped his consciousness, and forced him into a deep sleep. His eyes rolled back and he crumpled to the floor.****

My attention snapped to my wilted flower, motionless and unbreathing, blank stare fixated toward the ceiling. I fell to my knees at her side, terrified of what I'd done.****

I called out her name, over and over, until I was screaming.****

She didn't answer.****

She didn't blink.****

I couldn't breathe, couldn't see. My sobs came in great waves, my anger and desolation shaking me to the core. So palpable was my anguish that I began to inadvertently push outward; I'd unwittingly sent the tables to the wall, my mind beating outward and looking for escape.****

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Cloud, his face solemn.****

"Was this what it was like, when I took her from you?"****

He nodded, and I could see the trail his tears has made cascading down his face.****

There truly was no escape.****

The clock on the wall continued to tick - the world, unchanged, despite the death of its daughter, kept spinning - and I fell within myself. I once thought I could live without her - I'd freed her in Costa del Sol, after all - but that was partnered with the idea that she could again be happy, feel the sun on her face and the wind in her hair.****

The body that lay on the cold, sanitized tile floor would never again take even so much as another breath, never know joy or sadness, never again feel love...****

For a brief moment in time, I felt myself go completely insane. I thought how much better of a world it would be if I hadn't been stopped, if, once upon a time and a long time ago, I hadn't failed in my attempt to gain godhood and remake the world.****

I scared myself with the thoughts that rushed my head. I gathered great clumps of my hair in my fists, inhaled, preparing so scream...****

But.. there... in the back of my mind... A tickle? A flutter? A breath?****

Cloud had sensed it too; he looked around, alarmed. There were five presences in the room; Vincent, Hojo, him, myself, and...****

Cloud fell to his knees, bending over Aerith. He looked confused. Taking her wrist up, he felt for a pulse. He looked to me, his brow knitting. I took Aerith's hand as well, but felt no pulse.****

A hissing, a release of steam from across the room, and Vincent, Cloud, and I jumped to our feet, prepared for whatever was about to emerge from the chamber. What we were absolutely unprepared for was the small, lithe body that tumbled out and spilled to the floor, a curtain of chestnut hair wrapped around her. I was at her side in less than a heartbeat, letting Cloud and Vincent scramble behind me. Carefully, I pushed her hair from her face. ****

It was Aerith!****

She was breathing, she was alive!****

I tore a strip of fabric from my shirt, knowing that the first thing she would want to do when she woke would be to open her eyes.****

**"**What are you doing?" Cloud inquired. There was a hidden urgency in his tone, and over my shoulder I saw Vincent flip out his phone.****

**"**She'll likely go blind if I don't make sure she can't open her eyes. She's essentially been floating in a tank of mako, meaning she's very sensitive, albeit physically weak."****

Cloud knelt next to me, reaching out a hand to push some of the hair from her face. He let out a breath, his face saturated with both relief and wonder. "Floating in a tank of it? She won't get poisoning, will she?"****

I checked her pulse, her breathing, making sure she was truly living. Her breathing was somewhat shallow, but stead. "Mako infusion can mimic mako poisoning, but the effects differ. Mako poisoning usually kills, whereas infusion is slow and gradual, usually strengthening whoever it's injected into." I thought back to when Aerith had needed regular injections, to help wean her off of the high dosages she'd essentially been floating around in. "Though it makes you want to explode." I added, knowing he'd understand.****

**"**I'm so confused; if Aerith's body is over there, how is she here?"****

And then, it was like a little bell went off in the back of my mind, ringing clear and loud. "Hojo wasn't making clones; he was making spare bodies. That's why he made me... made me kill her again; he had fully planned to bring her right back."****

**"**But if he had spare bodies, why didn't he just use one of those instead of sending you to hunt her in Costa del Sol?"****

**"**Her spirit."****

**"**What?"****

**"**Her spirit. That part of her which belonged to the Lifestream. Until a few moments ago, this body was just a husk. Once the first Aerith died, her spirit was sent to this one. A body without one is useless; Hojo knows this, given how many failed clones came after me in which he tried to make something from nothing. That's why he started using people."****

**"**But that doesn't answer the question; why did Hojo send you after her when he could've had her killed, then pop right back here in the labs? If her spirit just travels from body to body, why does it matter?"****

I took a deep breath. "We'll have to ask him when he can talk again," I mused, eyeing the sleeping form on the floor.****

The distinct sound of a phone snapping shut echoed through the room, and Cloud and I both turned to look at Vincent. He wore what remains to be the closest thing to a smile I've ever seen on the man, and he met my eyes alongside it. "Reeve has the surface perimeter under control and luckily had a feeling we'd need medical attention after our encounter. Take her to the hospital ward; they're expecting you."****

I smiled and nodded my head in thanks. Carefully, I picked Aerith's new form off the floor. "Can the two of you take care of everything down here?"****

Cloud scratched the back of his head, but before he could open his mouth, Vincent spoke. "I'd already informed Reeve of the situation, and he's sending down a squad."****

I nodded again, phased out, and shot through the ceiling. Up, through layers of concrete and electrical wiring, though desks and filing cabinets, until I came to the hospital ward. The situation was too delicate for me to worry about who would see me phase back, so I simply popped back into the visible spectrum right in the middle of one of the nurses station. Several of them screamed at my appearance, but a few official-looking ones with clipboards had obviously been expecting me, and had a stretcher ready for the body in my arms.****

They began to wheel her down the hall once she was in place, and I was fully intent on following until one of the nurses attempted to direct me to the waiting area. I shot her a look filled with ice, and promptly informed her that her newest patient would go nowhere without my escort. She opened her mouth in an attempt to argue when Reeve walked through the elevator door. Aerith was already halfway down the hall, and my temper was wearing thin.****

I was truly beginning to like Reeve; he was absolutely amazing at picking up body language and cues. He nodded to me, placed a hand on the shoulder of the nurse who was attempting to bar my path, and handed me a badge with the other. I looked it over for a brief second, noting that the piece of laminated paper cleared me for any place in the building. This kind of clearance was reserved for whomever was running the company, and for Reeve to bestow such on me showed how much he had come to trust me. I nodded my thanks and began down the hall as he began to apologize, albeit sternly, to the nurse about where I should be.****

They'd already set Aerith up in one of the rooms near east side of the building. When I walked in, she had was already plugged in to a saline drip, and several people in long white coats were dictating notes for the respective recorders.****

One of them looked up at me when I entered the room, noticed the badge, and turned as if the paper clipped to my chest made me invisible. I might as well have been; with top clearance came the fear it imbedded into those without. Shinra was corrupt within; those with power abused those with less, and so to deny or anger me would be to risk their jobs.****

I'd have to do something about that. I'd talk to Reeve again, once everything calmed down...****

One of the doctors made to remove Aerith's blindfold. A sharp and booming, "no" from my lips made them all jump.****

I cleared my throat, entering the room further past the doorway. "I apologize. I've dealt with this recently, myself having been one to go through it, as well. Her eyes will be overly sensitive - even the dimmest of lights could blind her - and, conversely, she will be nearly deaf for a short time."****

One of the doctors nodded, then pulled a notebook from his pocket and began to scribble. Another yet came and held out his hand in front of me to shake.****

**"**General, it's good to see that you're well."****

I shook his hand in return, but the look of uncertainty on my face must have hurt him. Reluctantly, he introduced himself, obviously saddened by the fact that I hadn't recognized him.****

**"**Sull Ludwik. I was in a squadron you trained, back before I decided fighting wasn't for me. You, personally, wrote my letter of recommendation that got me into the Shinra medical program." He had a slight accent, and he stood up straight and tall, meeting my eyes. I liked him already, even if I couldn't recall who he was.****

Despite my inability to place him, I knew Sull spoke truthfully. When I was training soldiers for Shinra, I was careful with what men I selected for my personal squadrons. Many of them showed promise, but not all with weapons. If I felt a soldier might do better in the field of medicine, I would recommend he change his mind in regards to where he would head after basic training. It helped weed out those who, while they might have made decent soldiers, would end up being far better at something else. In the end, I was ridding the battlefield of soldiers who might end up hurt or dead before long. I didn't really think of it as saving lives back then, just making cleanup easier.****

Not that I'd be volunteering the information to the good doctor, of course.****

**"**Can you tell me anything about her condition, sir? Any outside information would be helpful. From my current standpoint, I'm not sure what to make of her. Given her obvious weakened state, I'm hesitant to wake her. You said yourself she'd be temporarily deaf, as well, so asking her outright would prove useless at this point."****

**"**Given that you work for Shinra, I trust you're well versed in the ways of secrecy." I scanned the room.****

Sull snapped his fingers, and everyone in the room ceased their scribbling, closed their notebooks, and promptly filed out from the room. When I raised an eyebrow at him, he shrugged. "Top medical clearance. I'm familiar with more than Shinra would like me to know, I'm afraid."****

**"**I'm well aware of the curse. Might I ask you if you're familiar with any of Professor Hojo's work?"****

He stilled, then sighed and shook his head. "I've read up on it, but I've never worked with the man."****

**"**Depending on how competent his records are, and how accessible they may be, you may be aware of Hojo's work regarding the Cetra."****

Sull's brow furrowed. "That's very privileged information, Sir. Hardly a handful of people are aware that there was a Cetra within Midgar for a time, and that the professor had her in his custody for a short while a few years ago. All data regarding the matter thereafter, however, is lost. One of the storage labs caught fire last year. Everything was destroyed."****

**"**I can tell you now that it likely wasn't an accident, doctor. The girl who sits before you is the very same Cetra that Hojo had in his grasp."****

His eyes widened, his gaze snapping to look at her again. "I... I didn't know how to process the information. I mean, one hears stories of the Ancients as a child, but you never really understand or believe them. Are you sure, sir?"****

**"**Absolutely."****

He was quiet and still, intently fixated on her. He was curious, that much was for certain.****

**"**Is there... is there anything special I need to do, sir?"****

**"**When you shoot her up with mako, cast Wall around the machines."****

Sull's eyes shot back to mine. "Sir?"****

**"**She processes it in an entirely different way, being both female and Cetra, than anyone in soldier might have. Despite being a Shinra doctor, I'm sure you've never injected either with Mako, have you?"****

He shook his head.****

**"**Doctor, let me be clear. I'm telling you this so that you know what you're dealing with. Nothing I say will leave this room. I'm putting her health and safety in your hands on the grounds that if something happens to her, you're to blame. Do you understand me?"****

He nodded, without hesitation, and I knew my instincts were right to trust him. Despite the fear I was still able to instill in the hearts of men, I was capable of understanding more than giving orders and sentencing punishments. There might have been ice behind my words - implications of bodily harm, to be sure - but fear wasn't the reason the doctor nodded. Despite Shinra's grip on him, I could sense the goodness within him.****

**"**Good, now let me fill you in on what's been going on, particularly in the last year or so."****

I left out much detail, obviously, but I went on to tell the good doctor about the rebirth of my flower and I, and everything I could think of that might be useful to him. Now that he understood what he was dealing with, I felt he was more capable of nursing Aerith back to health.****

He, however, looked slightly overwhelmed. "How many others know about all of this?"****

**"**A very privileged few. I'll make sure you're able to identify them, so that if they show up to see her, you won't feel threatened. First and foremost is Reeve Tetsui. If you've any questions and I'm not around, talk to him and mention Aerith's name. He'll help you in any way he can."****

Sull took a step back. "The new president?"****

I raised an eyebrow. "How new?"****

A choked laugh sounded from the doorway. "A few hours, tops," Reeve replied, closing the door behind him. "After confronting Rufus directly, I found that he was well aware of what Hojo was doing. He's in police custody, and because I was the one who dared stand up to the man, the Turks took to calling me Mr. President, and so, everyone else has, too."****

**"**It puts you in a good position, given the circumstances."****

**"**I was quite pleased with my previous job, and working the inside out. Now I have to be upfront with what changes I want in the company."****

**"**Not going to resign, then?"****

**"**Not until I turn this place around." Reeve held out his hand and shook the doctor's own outstretched one. "It's good to meet you, Doctor Ludwik. I presume Sephiroth here has filled you in with a few necessary details regarding your new patient."****

Sull nodded. "And a few pieces of information I was informed few were privileged to know. You can trust me, Mr. President; I, myself, have been trying to make changes for the better within the company since I was positioned."****

I winked at Reeve. "I trained him; he's trustworthy enough." I'd still keep an eye on him, of course. Just because I trusted him didn't mean that that trust was complete.****

From there, I told the doctor everything I could about any problems that could arise in regards to Aerith's health. Her weakened muscles, what to do when she needed Mako; anything I could remember about the time she spent in my care.****

**"**She seems stable enough for now," Sull mused, still gazing at her in awe. "We'll keep her under close watch."****

Reeve nodded, then flipped his phone out and sent a message. The doctor and I continued to converse, but were shortly interrupted by a knock at the door. Reeve answered it without hesitating, meaning he'd likely requested the person to come up in the first place.****

I still, however, wasn't expecting Yuffie. She bounced into the room, exuberant, smiling when she saw Aerith alive, albeit asleep, in the hospital bed. "So how did you do it, big guy?"****

Sull cleared his throat, informing us that he'd leave us to ourselves momentarily.****

I shot Yuffie her a questioning look after the doctor had closed the door on his way out.****

She rolled her eyes and pretended to be upset I wasn't on the same page as she was. "The whole fight. I haven't had a chance to talk to Vincent, since he's still underground, and I want to know what happened."****

**"**I killed her. Again."****

Yuffie paused and stilled, her entire face going white.****

**"**We underestimated Hojo, Yuffie. He snapped a new collar on me, and forced me to take her life."****

She shook her head, covering her mouth with her hands. Then, she looked to the hospital bed, confused and scared.****

**"**Hojo wasn't making clones. He was making spare bodies for us. He made me kill her as punishment, and I had little doubt he would have kept her newer rebirth a complete secret from me this time. But, just as I'd underestimated him, he underestimated her. She took Vincent's gun and shot the collar off, but it was too late, and I-"****

I was unprepared for the hug she gave me. She leapt at me, wound her arms around my neck, and squeezed me close. After the initial moment of shock, I slowly closed my arms around her in return. "I'm fine, Yuffie. Aerith's fine, too, and Hojo will be locked away."****

She wasn't crying, but she shook in my arms.****

**"**Yuffie, come now. Everything is going to be fine."****

**"**I know what it must have done to you, though. Your memories, your love for her, your-"****

**"**That's why I told you; because you'd understand."****

**"**And that's why I called her up here." Reeve cleared his throat, and Yuffie let me go, moving to stand beside me, holding my hand. "Yuffie, I need you to make sure that this is kept under the rug. I've talked to Vincent and Cloud, who both agree that Aerith's second death at Sephiroth's hands will be kept secret. If anyone presses, everyone involved is to maintain that she was caught in the crossfire. I called you up here to ask you to keep it hidden."****

Yuffie shook her head. "No, no no no. This isn't okay. I can't lie to them."****

Reeve sighed, and looked to me. "Not everyone in the group trusts Sephiroth. This would give them ample reason to further shun him, and we can't have that, not now. We might tell them later, but for the time being, when tensions are this high, we need to keep it hidden. It shouldn't matter how she was hurt, only that she's well. "****

Yuffie looked to me.****

**"**I'm ashamed that I wasn't strong enough to fight it, that the woman who saved me had to again die by my hands."****

She shook her head and hugged me again, wiping the tears from her face. I knew, deep down, that sharing my memories with her had been a good idea. She knew what I'd endured, knew what I'd gone through, understood what I felt. "Alright," she finally caved. "For you and Aerith, I'll do it. But I'm not going to be happy about it."****

I squeezed her hand. "I'd never ask as much."****

Reeve clapped me on the shoulder. "I am finding myself in need of a favor."****

"I owe you much, Reeve. Tell me what it is you need."****

With a little reassurance on Yuffie's part, I was coaxed from Aerith's room and into the hallway. Sull pushed past us, and I saw over my shoulder as he and Yuffie gave their introductions.****

"We need a way to infiltrate Hojo's labs from the surface," Reeve explained as he led me down the hallway, back toward the elevators.****

**"**Whatever it is you're looking for, Reeve, you won't get it. At least, not in a way you'll understand."****

Reeve shook his head, looking almost hurt. "I don't want his research. I want it _gone_."****

Ah. Reeve truly was a good man. "You need me to escort a team to dismantle the labs?"****

**"**I want you to escort a team down there so we can torch the place. I want it burned, then sealed up. Nothing from the Under-Haven is to breach the surface again."****

I paused for a moment. I'd never known that's what the apartment tenements had been called. A little ironic, I think, considering what hell I'd caught below.****

I thought of my time with Aerith, holed up in the tiny apartment. Perhaps it's wasn't all wasted time...****

**"**Hojo's in custody, correct? How tight is his security?"****

**"**Tight enough that I doubt you could get through it without doing that invisible, walking through walls trick. Plus, though it's a bit low, we've all agreed to keep him somewhat drugged until we can get him a court date."****

**"**Court date? He's to go on trial, then?"****

Reeve shrugged a shoulder, depressing the down button on the wall. "Yes, but it won't be much of one. The evidence is so overwhelming against him..."****

**"**What will his sentencing be?"****

**"**It's up to the counsel."****

I nodded the elevator digging its arrival. We entered, but not before allowing several nurses off on the floor first.****

**"**What do we do now?" I asked, feeling lost. "What do you need me for? I want to... I want to stay with Aerith as much as I can."****

Reeve nodded. "I need you to find how Hojo was entering the labs and clear the way so I can send my men down. If Hojo's made spare bodies for you and Aerith, I've little doubt he'll have them for himself. He's, however, too smart to keep them all clustered together. Based on his travel records in the last six months, we can guess where his other labs might be, but..."****

**"**He'll never crack and tell you where they are all located."****

Reeve shook his head. "If it comes to it, I need you to pry open his mind and get any information you can."****

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and shaking my head. "I tried once, when I was much younger. His mind... isn't like that of a normal creature. He's twisted, his mind is fragmented - almost like it's been blown to pieces - and only his madness holds him together."****

Reeve sighed. "We have no other choice than to try."****

**"**Very well, then. I will... try. But, only if it comes to it."****

I wasn't alone on my quest to find where Hojo's hidden tunnels were, leading to the lab he'd bribed and killed to keep secret. Vincent came to my aid, and together we found, in total, seven, though we feared, given how well three of them had been hidden, that there were more. A small squadron was sent down with us, along with a few of the Turks, and together, it took the better part of a week to disable all of the machinery and burn any and all documents. Anything on a computer was trashed; frozen with liquid nitrogen, then smashed into tiny pieces, then burned.****

No one asked me to enter the chambers that housed the... spare bodies. In fact, Reno attempted to make small talk while the others... while they were busy.****

**"**It's nice to have you back, General," Reno informed me, taking a drag on his cigarette. He blew the smoke over his shoulder, trying to draw my attention away from the hallway.****

**"**Relax, Turk. I won't snap."****

He shrugged, taking another puff. "I don't care one way or another, to be honest, but the boss-man asked me to keep an eye on your mental health for the day."****

**"**Lucky you."****

Reno met my eyes, met my stare, then smiled. He held out his hand, and I shook it, taking a seat next to him on the countertop, our backs facing the hallway the others were busy in.****

**"**I have to admit that it's somewhat nice to have you back. Those in the Soldier program are excited to see you return."****

**"**They still think me some kind of war hero?"****

Another puff. "Can you blame them? None of them know how things went down, none of them know how close they all came to becoming stardust."****

I sighed.****

He shrugged. "I played a part in what was going on, even if I didn't have the decency to give a fuck about what was happening for a while."****

I raised an eyebrow.****

**"**I fought against Cloud and the others, intent to keep Shinra's best interests on the top of my priority list. It wasn't until I saw that giant fucking space rock hanging in the air over the planet that I really changed my tune. I mean, I was a asshole. Well, I still am, but I used to be, too."****

**"**And you've change? You now care?"****

Reno scoffed. "Not at all. Well, not really. But, I respect the hell out of you."****

**"**Respect, Reno, or fear?"****

We shared a pregnant pause.****

**"**A little of both. You were ready to kill everyone and everything. I remember you, from before you snapped - you were a pretty decent guy. Not a saint, by any stretch. In fact, you were kind of an asshole, too, but, you got your ass beat pretty badly in the end. Sometimes, that's all we need; a good beating. And, well, hushed up word on the street is that you recently got yourself some Cetra pussy to calm you down."****

**"**Refer to her like that again and I'll knock your head clear off your shoulders."****

He snickered.****

**"**Where did you hear that from, and who else knows?"****

**"**Reeve gave us the short version - Rude, Tseng, and I - but I decided to fill in the blanks myself. Meant no disrespect, I was just seeing if what I'd concluded was true."****

**"**You've still too large a mouth, Reno," the one with the slicked back dark hair said as he entered the room. Tseng. I hadn't had much interaction with him as of yet, but I could tell, right away, that while he wore his Turk uniform, he was nothing but business. Even as he entered the room, he pored over a clipboard, scribbling notes and checking lists.****

Reno elbowed me. "He's just pissed off because you got to her before he ever could."****

Tseng's face flared red, his hand stilling. He looked up at met Reno's gaze. If looks could kill, there would be nothing left of the red-haired Turk,not even ashes.****

**"**Not that he stood a chance," Reno challenged though another drag of his cigarette. "I mean, a Turk with a conscious? Who would have thought?" He turned to me. "You should thank him, honestly; he kept your pretty little Ancient safe when Hojo would have stuck her in a jar and locked her away."****

Tseng met my eyes, not knowing what else to do. He was intimidated by me, that much was obvious, but he was also angry.****

I reached over and shoved Reno off the counter, backwards. "I appreciate all that you've done to keep her safe," I told the Wutain Turk. "I'd ask for you to excuse Reno, but you likely know him far better than I do. I fear he's only become more mouthy over the years."****

Reno stood up, cursing me for bending his cigarette.****

Tseng nodded, then went back to his clipboard.****

I wonder what it had cost him, mentally, to empty the tanks in the other room of Aerith's spare bodies.****

I'd have to ask my little flower of her adventures with the Turks when she awoke.****

Oh, yes, still Aerith slept.****

I spent my nights in the hospital room with her. Though she remained asleep, the good doctor assured me her health was improving at a slow, but steady, rate, and that I had little to worry about.****

Despite his reassurance, I still worried. When she'd been in my care, deep below the city those many months ago, it hadn't taken nearly as much time for her to wake as it was taking her now. I fretted, but it was unwarranted and unwelcome; the machines told me she was well, and the stress only made rest harder to come by.****

Reeve came to her room one night, shortly after midnight. He'd brought her a new bouquet of flowers; he'd changed out the ones in her room every second day, adamant that she should see nothing short of beauty once she regained herself. When I mentioned that it would be some time before she actually opened her eyes, he waved me off with a smile and a shrug. I suspected that he was changing her flowers not only as an excuse to check up on her, but to also momentarily escape his newly appointed position as head of the company. I said nothing, however, as I could hardly blame the man.****

**"**I've been putting it off for as long as I could, but we're going to need to interrogate Hojo by the end of the week," Reeve admitted, reluctantly. He was not pleased to deliver such news to me, but I knew he had little other choice. ****

**"**I am assuming we're to keep silent of the entire ordeal?"****

He nodded, taking a bite of an apple he'd carried in with him. After chewing and swallowing, he went on. "I'd ask anyone else if I could."****

I nodded, displeased but back into a corner. If Hojo had made bodies for Aerith and I, he'd likely have made ones for himself. But, ever the clever little cockroach, he'd likely hidden them away well enough that it would take years to find them without knowing where to look.****

Sull entered the room, smiling. "Good news, gentlemen," he announced, brandishing a file folder of documents. "All tests are looking well; Miss Gainsborough here will be able to open her eyes when she wakes."****

I sighed, pleased beyond belief. Her body was making a speedy recovery; now, if she would only wake. How I longed to see her pretty green eyes, curious and accepting, stare up at me, or bodies entwined and our hearts aligned with the heavens. Just to feel her touch...****

We spoke for a short while, but I wasn't really paying attention to the words that either fell from my mouth or filtered through my ears. Too preoccupied with the prospect of being united once more with my angel love was I that Reeve had to physically touch me before I looked to meet his gaze.****

He smiled a little sadly, then motioned for the doctor to leave us.****

"I need another favor, after you break Hojo for us."****

I sighed, but waited for instructions. I knew Reeve only asked me because he had little other choice.****

"After we take down Hojo's hidden labs, I would like you to come back here and work for me."****

I blinked up at him in surprise, shocked he'd ask such a question. After a moment, I shook my head. "I won't train another army, under control of a corporation, Reeve. You're a good man, but I've watched as greater men crumble under power."****

He nodded, then said nothing until someone knocked on the door. Much to my relief, it was Yuffie, though she was followed closely by Vincent. I hadn't decided how I felt about the man; he reminded me of myself.****

Yuffie bounded over, then jumped in my lap. She held a piece of apple candy to my lips, and when I opened my mouth to protest both what she was doing and where she was sitting, she shoved the sweet into my mouth. She giggled evilly while she stood, tucking a plastic bag into my hand. It was the rest of the candy.****

She winked, knowing I'd like them, no matter how much of a fuss I put up.****

Vincent sent a curious look our way as he closed the door after Reeve. I shrugged, moving the candy in my mouth from one cheek to the other.****

Yuffie sat next to Aerith next, fixing her chestnut hair and placing a flower behind her ear. "You'll never guess what happened today," the little ninja chatted, talking to Aerith as if she wasn't unconscious.****

I turned my gaze to the lone gunman. When a knock at the door sounded, he opened it and stepped past, allowing a large, wheeled folded mattress through the door. He pushed it toward Aerith's bed, and I helped him set it up after the orderly had left.****

"Yuffie wants to sleep here?" I asked, tucking the corner of the fitted sheet deeper under the mattress.****

Vincent shook his head. "It's for you."****

I stopped, confused.****

He shrugged. "You've been sleeping in a chair next to her bed all week. I'd imagine a bed would feel nice, no matter how lumpy spare mattresses in hospitals can be."****

"Thank you."****

"It was Yuffie's idea. She seems to trust you. She makes sure to tell everyone you're a friend, now."****

I looked over to the young woman next to my flower girl. Inside, I was beaming. I liked how that sounded. I had a friend. She knew of me, of my past, and wasn't frightened away.****

The night wore on in a comfortable lull, Yuffie chatting away to Aerith, then to Vincent and I when she grew bored of having a one-sided conversation. It was obvious from Vincent's body language - tight, upright posture, hand never far from his gun holster - that he still didn't trust me. But, he had relaxed somewhat. The corner of his lips curved up when Yuffie told me a bad joke, and he even lowered his guard enough that it was comfortable to play a game of cards.****

However, as the night made way for morning, Yuffie began yawn more and more. When Vincent suggested they turn in for the night, Yuffie demanded she be carried to bed. When I'd deducted, back at Aerith's home in Costa del Sol, that they were together, it hadn't struck me as that odd. But, as I watched Vincent pick her up in his arms, lay a kiss atop her forehead, and walk out of the door with her in his arms, I saw, up close, how wonderfully contrasting the two of them were, yet how perfect they balanced one another.****

I looked back to Aerith, wondering if others might see us, some day walking hand in hand down the street, and think the same. I smiled to myself.****

I curled up next to her, snaking my hand up through the bars of the hospital bed, entwining our fingers. I slept for the first time in what seemed like months.****

The next day was rough. I was pleased that I'd managed to sleep at all. I was tasked with sealing any of the entrances and exits of the labs, slowly making my way upward.****

Much to my surprise, Cloud offered me his help.****

Not long ago, we'd been at one another's throats. Now, we worked together, side by side, a mutual goal, our paths not merely crossing, but slowly drifting together.****

Though I'd be an idiot not to assume he was down with me for completely innocent reasons. Reno had been open about his looking after of me. His honesty was refreshing. Cloud likely thought he was killing two birds with one stone; keeping his eyes on me while he oversaw what was happening below.****

It was tiring work, but I really was the only one capable of making such quick work of it all. Using my telekinesis, I caused the tunnels to cave in as I walked through them, pulling rock free and making sure it was dense enough to keep anything out of it, human or animal. Then, we laid concrete into the piping and ventilation shafts.****

I almost returned to what once had been my home, the hole in the ground dozens of stories below, where I'd spent so much of my second life. It seemed like years had past since I'd last returned, but in reality it had hardly been a few weeks. I wondered how my garden looked, if the hydroponic lights had continued working, if my flowers had bloomed. When they were grown, I'd bring them to meet Aerith. She would love them, I was sure.****

Cloud was pleased with the work we'd accomplished. He informed the other men we'd been working with, and even spared a nod in my direction.****

But I wasn't sure how I felt. I was tired and restless, but holding my temper. Any moment I didn't spend with Reeve or the others, helping make amends of the mess we'd created, I spent with my dormant flower. I tried to reach out my consciousness to her, help her feel safe, but she recoiled into herself, her mind trying to protect itself.****

Cloud and I were looking over the crudely drawn map we'd created together, marking off the tunnels we'd collapsed. He stilled, his eyes suddenly glazing over and dilating. The room quieted, the fluorescent lights overhead flickering. I watched as goosebumps erupted down his sleeveless arms.****

Then, his eyes snapped to mine. "She's awake," he announced, his voice strained.****

I looked to the other men in the room, all of them looking at the two of us. "Continue the work. We'll be back." Then, I took a handful of Cloud's shirt, phased the two of us out and shot through the ceiling. We re-entered the span of visible light outside the door to Aerith's room.****

"Call the others," I instructed him. Be it due to years of training under his belt, or the authoritative tone of my voice, Cloud didn't hesitate and took out his phone in an instant.****

Slowly, I opened the door to Aerith's room and slipped inside.****

"Where am I?" Her sweet voice rang out like a melody.****

I breathed a great shaking sigh. "In the hospital."****

She smiled. She could hear me. Her body must have recovered far faster while she was asleep; I wondered if she could already take her blindfold off.****

**"**What happened? Did anyone tell you what's been going on?"****

**"**No one needed to tell me. That psycho has been locked away, and you're safe."****

Her smile widened, and she heaved a sigh of relief.****

**"**I'm... I'm sorry for what happened." I felt like an awkward teenager once more, tongue-tied, filled with words and feelings I didn't understand how to express. I don't know why I didn't just rush to her, collect her in my arms, and bite the heads off anyone who tried to come near; my mind felt like it was stuck in a slow gear, while the world around me spun in circles.****

She cocked her head to the side, as if she didn't understand, but before I could get another word out the door opened and Yuffie, in three half-running steps, made it to Aerith's bed and threw her arms around the flower girl's neck. The little ninja was babbling, sniffling behind every few words, her face buried against Aerith's neck.****

Ever patient, my flower smiled and hugged Yuffie back. "Who else came to see me?" she wondered out loud, due to her lack of sight.****

**"**Everyone," Cloud said as he entered the room behind Vincent. He wore a smile so large I feared it might fall off his face.****

**"**Are my eyes okay?" She asked, touching a hand to her blindfold as Yuffie pulled away.****

**"**So far, our tests conclude that you'll be fine," the kind doctor announced as he entered the room. Clipboard in hand, he made his way past the group of unlikely friends and to Aerith's side. "We can take if off now, if you'd like."****

**"**Oh, yes, please!" she was excited, like a child receiving a precious gift.****

As Sull began to unbandaged Aerith's eyes, pulling the lacy cloth from her face, we all gathered around her bed. It felt like something out of a movie, all of us standing around our friend as she recovers in the hospital, flowers decorating a good portion of the room.****

The bandages gone, Aerith slowly blinked open her pretty green eyes. She looked around the room, from one friend to the next...****

Then to me.****

She screamed.****

Everyone in the room was suddenly on edge as Aerith reached for Cloud, as he was the closest of her friends on the opposite side of the room as I. She clutched his shirt, trying to press herself close against him in an effort to get as far from me as she could.****

My blood ran as ice. "What is going on?" I asked, looking to the doctor.****

He looked to me and shrugged, then back to Aerith.****

**"**What's he doing here? Why is he here?" Aerith's voice shook as Cloud carefully wrapped his arms around her shoulders.****

**"**He saved us, Aerith; he saved you."****

**"**Saved me? He's the one who stuck me through!" She was weeping now, confused and frightened.****

**"**Aerith?" Vincent's calm voice sounded. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes wide with a range of emotion, none of them good. "What is the last thing you remember?"****

Her eyebrows drew together, as though he was asking what that giant, warm ball of light in the sky might be. "The City of the Ancients; releasing holy; him trying to kill me."****

Half of those in the room gasped, the other half were too shocked to make a sound.****

**"**You remember nothing past that?" I asked her. My voice sounded cold, devoid of emotion; just like I felt.****

**"**Past? How long have I been here in the hospital?"****

Yuffie shifted on Aerith's bed, blocking her view of me. "You don't remember how you came back, how Sephiroth saved you from Hojo... any of it?" Yuffie was watching her words carefully; had she added, 'how you fell in love,' in that list, I'm quite sure Aerith would have started screaming again.****

**"**Came back? What are you talking about?"****

**"**Aerith," Vincent began again. "It's been well over a year since we stopped meteor. You were in Sephiroth's care for a time, and we recently had to fight Hojo to make sure you stayed safe."****

She shook her head, her face solemn and frightened, tears streaking down her face. She hiccuped, looking at me with such fear in her eyes.****

They all looked to me, as if I knew what to do, what had happened.****

But I had nothing. Twice now I'd lost the one thing in my life that had been worth living for. I killed the woman I loved, unable to stop myself, then, when, through sick science she'd been brought back, she didn't recall any part of our time spent together.****

Nothing of our promises, of our hearts, or changed worlds.****

She turned from me, fear and confusion written, clear as day, across her face.****

I sank through the floor like a stone sinking in the sea, heavy and unfeeling. I should have been saddened, angry - frightened, even - but I felt nothing. I was shell of a man, an automaton; unfeeling, made of steel.****

Truly, there was nothing left for me in the world.****

I drifted downward. I don't know why, for when I think back to it I cannot remember much at all, but somehow I ended up in my garden, my secret oasis, my place of peace after I'd freed Aerith. I'd all but collapsed into myself then, and she was alive and well; I was merely without her. It was before I knew she loved me in return.****

Now? Now there was nothing. Nothing but my memories of her, locked away inside my head.****

I reached out and swept my hands across the air, my palms passing one another as they met in front of me. The statues I'd made swept to the back of the room, against the walls, leaving pathways of cement uncovered by dirt in their wake. Moving my hands back, I settled the dirt over the concrete so none of it showed.****

Then, in a burst of power, I forced life to spring from the seeds I'd planted.****

In a manner of moments, the room sprang to life with flowers and vines, curling and uncurling, circling the room and climbing the walls and the statues.****

The plants flourished on every surface of the room, save for the statue of my flower girl. I'd pushed the stone likeness against the wall, but apparently my subconscious hadn't the heart to cover her completely.****

I sighed, trudging forward and lying on the mattress in the middle of the room.****

I closed my eyes, a serene numbness overwhelming me. Then, I slept.


	12. Fleeting Rain

Strength is not always a physical attribute. Once upon a time that seems so long ago, I nearly held the world in my hands. But while I was strong in body and filled with determination, there were others whose strength drew from a much deeper well than mine. Lying upon the mattress, surrounded by dying flowers forced into absolute darkness, I began to ponder the merits of what strength I possessed. My mind was once the weakest part of me, despite what chaos I wrought. I let the comforting tendril of a deranged, selfish being fill me with lies, make me think destruction was my purpose. So filled with arrogance and false promises was I that I overlooked a single being, thinking there was no way for her, in her silly pink dress with her tiny hands clasped together tightly in front of her, to ever match my strength.

I learned what it was like, then, to be wrong. So, so very wrong.

And yet, she was forced to teach me even more before I could truly begin to understand how wrong nearly everything with me was.

My heart was weak then too, for me to think nothing of freeing her other than how upset it would make my maker. But it grew, and it came to see with vision unpolluted how far kindness and love can go. I could, at any time, have broken her body in a thousand ways, yet it took nothing more than an honest heart and a gentle touch to win her favor.

And now I was left with nothing but memories.

Memories can be powerful things. Powerful, painful things. Things that haunt your dreams, that cause your heart such pain and sorrow. I wasn't sure how long it took me to understand that not all memories have to be painful, likely because I wasn't sure how long I lay, by myself in the dark. She'd taught me to never give up. It wasn't fair to our memories, to the love I still held for her, to simply waste away.

So, I stood, raised myself to the surface, took a single deep breath of air, and decided to be someone. I wasn't sure who I was, what I was capable of, only that I _was,_ that I existed. I'd once held the world at my fingertips. But now, it seemed enough to simply be part of it.

I asked the woman at the front desk to see if either Mr. Tetsui or Ms. Kisaragi were available, to which she gave me a wide-eyed stare for several moments before I coaxed her out of her gaze with the addition of the word 'please.' I took a seat in the main lobby, nursing the beginning of a major headache. Friends first. Food could wait; my body had gone longer without.

Yuffie was the first off the elevator, and she ran and all but dive-bombed into my lap. She hugged me tight, babbling a mile a minute, until Reeve exited the second elevator a short while later. He looked haggard, tired, but smiled genuinely when our eyes met.

The first thing asked of me, of course, was where I'd disappeared to.

I replied with a cryptic answer. "The underground."

Yuffie pressed me for more information, but I asked her politely to drop it. When she wouldn't - I got to see firsthand how incessant she could be - I took her by the shoulders, smiled, sighed, and shook my head.

She bit her lip as though she were trying to keep the words from spilling out, but she didn't ask again.

Normal conversation might otherwise seem awkward, but I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to know what was happening within the company, and they shared with me all of what they'd been up to during my absence.

Yuffie shrugged and said she'd been doing loads of paperwork, and even though it was _sooo boring_, she got paid to do it so she couldn't really complain. Apparently, she worked as Reeve's assistant, though as Reeve mentioned he was lucky to get any work out of her considering how often she liked to disappear.

Reeve, however, was a busy man. He was in the works of gutting the entire system. While Soldier had disbanded, Reeve was hopeful that he could re-train most of those in the system and rework it into less of an army and into more of a... well, to be honest, I wasn't sure what he was trying to do. He mentioned helping with natural disasters, finding new energy resources other than mako, working on cleaning up Midgar, and a myriad of other ideas that I'm sure are what kept him in office as the new president; he was a man who had ideas for change, and would fight tooth and nail to see his ideas come into fruition. I understood why he looked so haggard as he talked of his plans.

"Do you plan to stick around this time?" Yuffie asked. Though he words stuck me in a place that was still a little tender, I knew she wasn't asking out of malice.

"I don't... I don't know. Things were somewhat rough when I left."

Reeve nodded, sighing. "The situation hasn't improved, I'm afraid."

"She still remembers nothing of our time together?"

Both of them shook their heads, sadly. My gut twisted, and I resisted the urge to sink into the floor again. I took a deep breath, steadying himself. "I suppose that's why I'm here. At one time, I lived only for her. It's time, I think, to live for me."

Yuffie smiled at my words. "It's about damn time. I think you're a little overdue."

Reeve gave me a thoughtful look before he continued. "Do you have any plans about what you'll do or where you'll go?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "Not really. I suppose I'll go where I'm needed."

Yuffie clapped her hands together. "Good. We need you."

I raised an eyebrow, somewhat surprised. They _needed_ me? _Me_?

Reeve nodded. "With the gutting of the company, some of the more prestigious officers within the ranks of Soldier have disbanded."

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "They were pissed off when we told them we weren't going to invade people any longer, and they turned tail like little bitches."

I shrugged. "It's not surprising. You have to understand that they were likely men used to power. With the idea of it being taken from them, they likely felt they owed the new president no loyalty and simply cut their losses. As much as I hate to say it, you might need to take care of such loose ends, less they fight against the reform and we have a war waged both outside and within. I'm sure most of the officers can be persuaded, though."

Reeve was grinning. "You know, I was thinking much of the same thing myself."

It took a moment for my brain to put together what he was trying to ask of me. Instantly, I felt my muscles tighten. "I will not kill again; I won't be paid off to take the life of another."

I'd insulted him. The look on Reeve's face made me uncomfortable. "No, no, no; you have it all wrong. The last thing I want to ask of you is to spill blood. You have to see where I'm coming from, though; you were - still are - revered by these men. If anyone can persuade them to come back, it's you."

I took a deep breath. "And if these men want to let their weapons do the talking?"

Reeve shook his head. "Then we try harder to make them see that negotiations are the best course of action."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, unsure of what to say.

Yuffie pitched in, hoping to help. "You wouldn't be going alone. Vincent or Cloud or Cid or Reeve, and maybe even me if my slave-driver of a boss will allow me a paid vacation once in a while, would be there with you." She gave Reeve a pointed look. He ignored her.

My headache grew worse. "How soon do you need an answer?"

Reeve sat back against his chair. "If you never feel like giving me one, I won't be offended. No one is going to force you to do anything you don't want to."

And it was like a cold wind blew through me. I could tell people no, could do what pleased me. The clarity of such a discovery must have shone, bright as day, on my face. Yuffie giggle, and Reeve shook his head with a knowing smile.

"You mentioned re-training the troops," I offered, feeling brave in a situation I was unfamiliar with. I'd negotiated plenty of times, but never on my own behalf, for my own benefit.

Reeve nodded. "Self-defence. No guns."

I tossed the idea around my head for a moment. A stable job, an income, people who could depend on me? I liked the normalcy of how it sounded.

_Me. Normal._

For some, it might sound like more of a death sentence than an opportunity. Well, maybe it might be for me; I've never been much for paperwork, of which I'm sure there would be at least some. But, well, don't knock it until you've tried it, right?

"Would you be willing to allow me the honor?"

Reeve blinked a few times before he smiled. He ran a hand through his beard, then nodded, thoughtfully. "If you're up for it, I'm sure the men would love to have you."

We shook hands with the promise of employment to come. I needed a place to stay first, and a meal sooner rather than later, so Yuffie grabbed a newspaper off the stand near the front entrance as we made our way to the employee cafeteria.

Riding up the glass elevators, I could already see the progress Reeve was striving for. Nearly half of the mako reactors I could view were shut off, or were being torn down. I smiled, thinking how pleased my flower girl must be to see such work... No, not my flower girl. Not mine any longer. Simply Aerith.

No, I wouldn't allow my mind to fall into that territory again. I was to make something with my life, not simply wallow in self pity. Even knowing this - knowing I had to survive for our love to have meant anything - it still hurt.

I was beginning to understand the idea of strength a little better.

Or so I thought.

While I ate, Yuffie browsed through the newspaper for apartment rentals for me. Reeve had offered to allow me a grand suite in the company provided housing, but I politely declined without giving him a reason why. He was the type of man to understand that sometimes, you simply do not ask questions, and so after I declined, he didn't push the subject.

"Well, then, what are you looking for?" Yuffie finally said between stolen bites of my slice of apple pie.

"I want you to stop looking for apartments where _you_ would like to live."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm looking for somewhere affordable."

I rolled my eyes right back. "I still have an account with Shinra National Bank; I'm sure I could afford nearly anything based off the interest I've been earning, seeing as how I never officially closed the account."

Reeve chuckled. "They don't close those accounts unless they see your death certificate, too, so I'm sure it's all still there."

Yuffie rolled her eyes again and went back to circling prospective rentals.

"Have you thought about how you're going to fix things with Aerith?" Yuffie asked.

"Ifrit's flaming underpants, woman; have a little tact." Reeve stole the newspaper from Yuffie's grasp and smacked her upside her head with it.

I let out a pathetic chuckle - a sound more like a pained squeak than an actual laugh - and ran a hand through my hair. "You forget, Yuffie; I'm no good with people."

She shrugged, stealing the paper back from Reeve, obviously feeling sheepish that she'd asked. I thought back to when I'd shared my memories with her, or rather how she had, the curious little thing she was, began to rifle through them at her own leisure inside of my head. She hadn't asked her question out of callousness; she truly, deeply, wanted to know. Then, she bit her lip, almost as if, for a moment, we'd shared the same length of brainwave. "Why don't you just share you memories with her, like you did with me."

I took a deep breath, then let it out, feeling a little more than worn, even with a full stomach. "I've thought of it. Summons above, below, and all places in between, I've thought of it. But, I've come to realize that if she were to see my memories, she would only be able to see, be able to feel, what I feel for her. I won't have someone feeling obliged to love me simply because I love them."

Yuffie's bottom lip trembled. "No, that's not how it's supposed to work. You're supposed to share your memories with her, she will see how much you love her, she can come to love you again, and everyone lives happily ever after."

I reached across the table and gave her hand a squeeze. "In what way, Yuffie, has any part of my life ended like a fairy tale? Come now, you know the villain never wins in the end."

She shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears over my words. Of all the people to understand my heartache, I was happy it was someone so open with her emotions. "It's not supposed to be like that. You love her so much."

I nodded. "And I don't think I will ever come to love another like I love her."

"_Like I love her_. You say it in present tense; your heart won't give up on her, but the rest of you has."

"No. No, I still love her. But, Yuffie, did you see the way she looked at me when she opened her eyes, did you hear her scream and watch as she tried to gain as much distance away from me as physically possible. No, I love her, but there's nothing left inside of her to love me."

"You don't know that," Yuffie was outright crying, now. Fat tears rolled down her face and off her chin. Reeve placed an arm around her shoulders, hugging her close, and offered her a napkin to wipe her tears.

"Yuffie. Little one. Don't shed tears over me. I've come to terms with how cruel the world is. Perhaps you should step from your childhood and look at a life like the rest of us."

Her face scrunched up as she pushed Reeve off of her. "God, you're so _stupid,_ and you're _so stubborn_."

"I know," I smiled sadly.

She stormed off, in a huff, and left Reeve and I at the table. Despite being in his company, however, I was alone; he sided with her. "I know it's none of my business, Sephiroth, but if you love her half as much as I have come to understand that you do, you could at least talk to her. Strike up conversation. Something, anything."

I said nothing. Let them think what they want. I had spent weeks alone with my thoughts. I couldn't do what was best for me. I had to do what was best for her, and in this case it was staying away from her. If she came looking for me, gave me so much as an inch, I would give her my world, inasmuch that she would let me. Yet, little but fear and repulsion had emanated from her when she'd laid her eyes on me in that hospital room.

"Only time will tell, Reeve. After all, I'm not much of a people person."

He sighed and rolled his eyes, understanding written clear on his face. We shook hands and parted ways not long after. He went back up to his office, and I went down to the main floor.

As I descended in the glass elevator, I looked out and realized that the plate still felt so high to me. A city upon a city, a gateway to the heavens built on the sorrow and suffering of others. I liked Reeve; he seemed, to me, like a good man. I wondered what his brain was planning, what sort of ideas a man of his intellect could conjure. I hoped he would set his sights on the city, on the slums, soon. They needed so much work.

I looked to my right, hoping to catch a glimmer of any new construction that might have been started in the father areas of the city, when the secondary elevator caught my eye. Or rather, who was in it.

For a fated second, a moment of time that lasted hardly a heartbeat, our eyes locked, hers and mine. My flower girl, encased in a glass elevator, ascended. How ironic.

I fought the urge to simply dissipate my atoms and join her in the other elevator. I fought it by biting my lip until my teeth went through it. It would heal in minutes, but the pain got me through to the ground floor.

I needed more time, time to figure out who I was, and what I wanted, before I could be so selfish as to court her, or even seek her out. Maybe she lacked the capacity to love me in her new life, maybe she'd found another. It didn't matter; I had a journey of self discovery to make. It was time I made a new story for myself. Perhaps there was room in hers for me. Perhaps. But, like I had told Reeve, only time would tell.

I found an apartment, already furnished, that was far enough away from headquarters that I likely wouldn't have many visitors, but close enough I could still, with my ability of flight, be there in under a few minutes if I was so needed. Reeve was right; it took more than a disappearance and a simple rumor of my death for my bank account to be closed. I was somewhat surprised, honestly; Shrina used to be so obsessed with profit. I half wonder if they had some kind of court ruling against them. It seemed a funny thing to look into, honestly, so I didn't. I still had enough money - and a hefty sum of interest, I might add - that even if Reeve didn't pay me, I was well set financially for some time.

I bought clothing for myself for the first time in, well, my life. I'd become so used to my uniform that I almost felt I needed to wear it, but with my new position would come time off, and I needed clothes that I could venture into the public social-sphere wearing. I had clothes in the underground, sure, but they were borrowed, and felt exactly like it. Besides, I didn't want to go back. I was half worried I wouldn't come back up... Clothes shopping is strange. My celebrity within the confines of Midgar had quintupled since my original disappearance, and more than a few times people who thought they were being sneaky stole a picture as I browsed a shirt rack. I decided I wouldn't let it bother me; let them think whatever they would like. As I checked out, I glanced at the tabloids and caught pictures of myself; apparently, one magazine thought I was a robot, here to strike fear into the hearts of Shinra's enemies now that there was a new president, and another still speculated that I'd been sent on some kind of lunar mission in secret and had only recently returned..

More than once I was approached by reporters asking for a few words from the great and powerful Sephiroth. I became tired of simply stating that I had no comment, so, in a streak of pure deviousness, I began to propagate all kinds of unusual ideas. I told one paper that I had no idea what she was talking about, I mean really miss? Don't you think _I would know_ if I'd gone missing for several years? And another was informed that I simply used all of my saved up vacation time somewhere warm and sunny. I'm sure the press was at its last wit with the different answers I gave each and every reporter. The impromptu interviews stopped quite abruptly as I'm sure word spread fast that I was being, well, 'a bit of an asshole' Yuffie informed me when I told her the different stories I'd given. Regardless, it had been a bit of a fun, and I was in need of a reprieve.

I started work the following week. Reeve showed me my office, introducing me to the basic programs I'd need to become familiar with.

_Me. An office. _

It was deliciously mundane.

That night, I went shopping and bought some art to hang, just on the pure basis that I could. I liked maps, and bought several to cover my walls. I bought an office chair, too, and new pens, and I spent the evening feeling as close to human as I could ever recall.

A week later, I was given my first group of cadets. As Reeve introduced me, I could see all of my appointed team hold their breath as I approached the front. Reeve excused himself, and I was left with a room full of fresh minds.

I smiled, though I'm sure it looked wicked to them.

Though it it felt somehow odd to admit it willingly, I found that I liked to teach. Yes, I had instructed before, but not like this. I'd been gifted fresh new minds, and I, like an artist, shaped them, trained them, like a lump of raw clay, building and building until they were ready to become something useful. I taught them how to defend and disarm, I showed them how to use everything to their advantage and how to avoid letting someone take advantage of those same traits in them. I drilled into their minds that the new Shinra would serve and protect, and that if anyone was abusing their authority they would answer, before the tribunal, to me. That, as Yuffie so delicately put it, 'made their asses pucker.'

Yes, she forgave me for being so stupid and stubborn, though she, stubborn in her own right, would always let me know how everyone was going, paying special mind to mention Aerith. I appreciated her company. Let me rephrase that; I appreciated her company _most of the time_. She was my friend - I still liked that I could call her that, as well as Reeve and, after several weeks in my company, Vincent Valentine - but even I don't have that kind of patience.

I am a man, but I was becoming human. I found that it was difficult having to deal with emotions. No, I wasn't exactly emotionless before, but now that I was a free man, there was so much my mind had been opened to. Hope that tomorrow would be as wonderful as the day before. Happiness to be alive. Content over the fact that I could hold a desk job without wanting to pull out my hair in great handfuls.

And the feeling of guilt, of course, was one that stayed close to the surface. Aside from our momentary eye-lock in the elevators, I hadn't seen nor heard from Aerith in quite some time.

Oh, who am I kidding. I haven't looked for her, nor heard her sweet voice, in seventy two days, sixteen hours and forty two minutes. Give or take.

That's why, when she walked into my office, I was struck numb.

I hadn't forgotten about her. God, no, not even close. I never stopped thinking about her. The pain, however, had dulled into a low ache, one I could manage to cover up.

She was wearing a pencil skirt and a pink cardigan. In her arms, she carried three binders and a stack of paperwork.

I just stared; stared at her open-mouthed and unmoving, our eyes completely locked. I didn't even have the wits about me to stand. I don't think I blinked. Weeks had gone by and I, in my loneliness, had rehearsed a thousand times the things I would say to her, what words I could spin to make her love me again. And now, now that she stood before me, I could say nothing. My mouth was bone dry.

She wasn't frightened of me, but she was apprehensive; that much was written on her face. She swallowed hard, pushed a stray lock of hair from her forehead, and gave me a small nod.

"I'm sorry, Reeve said that you'd gone home for the night. I was just dropping something off for him on my way out. I - I hope I'm not intruding..."

I let out a shuddering breath. Words had failed me. My brain had failed me. _Get it together._

"Yes, ah, I mean no, of-of course you're not intruding." I could still taste her, could still smell her, could still recall the feel of her lips pressed against mine. Good god, I was over the moon, wasn't I?

She nodded, for what I don't know, then lowered her gaze to what she held in her hands. "This top file is for you. It's next month's recruiting list. Reeve said he was going to bring it to your office tonight, but he accidentally left it at the table when we were having coffee. I thought I'd just do him a favor, and..." She looked back up to me, hesitating. Surely I wasn't that frightening to her. She swallowed again, then made toward the desk.

Still so strong, so brave. I frightened her - or maybe the idea of me frightened her - but still she faced her fears.

I stood to reach across the desk to take the file from her, but I'd moved too fast. I didn't push my chair out from behind me in time, and my knees knocked the desk a good several inches into the air and forward. My desk lamp and computer monitor wobbled and fell backwards and I, ever the mess of nerves, didn't think past trying to right them. I leaned across my desk and grabbed both of the falling items, but in my haste hadn't steadied myself. In two seconds flat I was toppled over the front of the desk, flat on my back, the entire piece of furniture on its side, lying there dumbly with a lamp in one hand, a monitor in the other, and paperwork scattered every which way.

And just like that, I heard her laugh. That high twinkle, like bells sounding. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she offered as she put the contents of her arms into one of my other chairs. "It's wrong to laugh, but... that was just so unexpected."

She knelt down as I tried to stand, her previous layer of fear having been melted away by blunder. She began picking up the paperwork that littered the floor, smiling awkwardly down at me.

"I'm not normally so graceless. You just surprised me." I felt a little less heavy-hearted, now. Not quite so smothered.

"I really am sorry for laughing," she offered again, handing me the stack of papers that she'd collected as I righted my desk, setting down the monitor and adjusting the cord before I fiddled with the lamp.

"Don't apologize," I offered in return, reaching my hand out to meet her.

She stilled, the papers between us clutched in both of our grasps. Her brow knitted, and she looked like she was trying to think of something that was only just out of her grasp. Her eyes were on my shirt, but I knew she wasn't actually looking at me at all; her gaze reached far beyond.

"Don't ever apologize to me," she breathed, frozen. Had I been any normal being, I wouldn't have heard the words that fell past her lips. As it happens, I am far from normal, and my superior hearing picked up on her words, though just barely. I recalled those words, speaking them to her a time ago that felt like eons, now.

Suddenly, she shook her head and let the papers go in my grip. "Sorry," she said, letting out a breath of air.

Had she... had she remembered?

She stood and edged away from me, toward the door. "I-" she began, then shook her head again, avoiding eye contact with me.

I forgot when I'd begun holding my breath, but I remembered to breathe again when I began to turn light headed. She was quite, still, across the room from me, her face scrunched up in though, her eyes looking a little more than afraid. Finally, she let out a huff of air as she turned her head to meet my eyes. "You're like a black hole."

I straightened, my back tensing. She spoke in riddles, made my mind reel further.

"I haven't spoken to you once - not once - since the time I woke up in the hospital. I haven't so much as caught a glimpse of you other than when we passed one another in the elevators."

I took a breath, aware my breathing was shallow. What was I waiting for?

"Why can't I get you out of my head? Everything I do, no matter what, I end up gravitating to you. Even in my dreams, there you are."

I didn't answer; I knew I'd only fumble over my words.

"Did Cloud tell you why I can't remember you?"

I shook my head. Cloud hadn't told me much of anything at all. I could count the words he'd spoken to me since she woke up on one hand.

She swallowed, scared. But scared of what? Of what she might tell me? What it might mean? "When -"

We both jumped when the door swung open. Yuffie, a bottle of alcohol in each hand, had kicked the door open, a grin plastered to her face. She saw, however, instantly who was in my office, and not a half second later was obvious to the amount of tension in the room between us. I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand as I turned and plopped the paperwork on the desk, trying to avoid looking at the two women in my doorway.

"I'm a terrible person, aren't I?" Yuffie squeaked. "I ruin everything."

"There was nothing to ruin, Yuffie. Come in, come in." I sighed, turning back to the doorway.

Aerith's eyes were large, but fear no longer gripped her. Yuffie was looking curiously to the both of us, the look on her face unmistakable: _I'm sorry_.

I shook my head, motioning her over to me. "I said come in, you silly thing." She bit her lip and huffed, then made her way to my desk. I stole away the bottles from her hand, placing them on my desk behind me, and gave the top of her head a light pet. "Don't sulk. I don't like it when you sulk."

Aerith watched, openly curious. She'd never seen Yuffie and I interact, had she? She didn't know that some of her friends were now mine, as well.

Vincent darkened the hallway, his eyes scanning the room. "Aerith," he greeted. "Will you be staying with us tonight?" He was kind enough to keep the surprise from his voice.

Her eyebrows knit. "Staying?"

He nodded, holding up a plastic bag filled with cards and poker chips.

She didn't have time to hide her surprise, instead her gaze shifting to mine.

I shrugged, not sure what else I could say other than the obvious; "game night."

Yuffie procured several glasses from the cabinet above my wet bar - well, it wasn't really mine, it had simply come with the office - and grabbed an extra, even though Aerith hadn't answered. "Yeah, Reeve's gonna be here in a bit, too. Every other Thursday is always our game night. Mostly just the four of us."

"Cid joined us once," Vincent offered, walking past Aerith and further into my office. "But, he left about an hour into the night. Just couldn't take the surrealness of it."

"I don't blame him," I offered, moving most of what was on my desk into the top drawer. "He was terrible at blackjack."

Yuffie giggled, fishing through the shelf behind my desk for my corkscrew. I even earned a slight corner of the mouth twitch from Mr. Valentine which, as I'd come to observe since we first instigated game night, was the closest thing he ever came to smiling.

Aerith looked to the paperwork in her hands, then to her friends around the room, her eyes finally resting on me.

_You're in a room surrounded by people who love you,_ I wanted to tell her_. You have no reason to be afraid._ I couldn't bring myself to speak, only to plead with my eyes.

"Oh, come on, Aeri," Yuffie whined as she pulled the cork from her favorite coffee liqueur. "It's just a little fun. Just some friends and some fun."

Reeve stepped into the room. "She's trying to win you over with that, 'it's just for fun' crap, is she?" He shook his head as he laid a hand on Aerith's shoulder. "Don't trust her for a second. She's the meanest poker player I've ever met."

And at that, the sweet flower girl smiled, her anxiety washed away. She looked down at the watch on her wrist, the shrugged ever so slightly. "I don't have anywhere to be for a few hours. I guess I could play a bit."

I turned away, made it look like I was moving the binder she'd given me to my shelf, where all of the others rested. In actuality, I'd turned so she wouldn't see me positively beam.

Baby steps. It was more than I could have hoped for.

"Why does your desk look like shit?" Yuffie asked, pouring us each a glass.

"I fell over it."

"Fell over it?"

Aerith bit her lip, scooting a chair alongside Reeve and Vincent. "I surprised him. I came up here to leave him the folder you forgot, Reeve. I didn't think he'd still be in, and I caught him off guard."

"Oh, thank you, Aerith. I didn't know where I'd put it." His eyes caught mine for a fraction of a second and he winked, no one else any the wiser. He'd planned it, the sonofabitch. I balked. I would think such an idea would spring from the mind of my little ninja friend - in fact, I was thoroughly surprised it hadn't - but from Reeve?

I almost sighed. He knew me. He knew me better than I'd previously surmised. He knew how much I missed her, and how stubborn I was.

"So, what? He just, like, fell?" Yuffie asked as she sipped her drink with one hand, and began to organize the chips with the other.

I shook my head, brought back to the real world. "I stood too fast and bumped the desk. I tried to keep my things from falling, but just ended up falling myself."

Aerith held in a laugh, her eyes suddenly bright.

"Laugh," I encouraged. "It was most undignified. I can fly, for Gaia's sake, and I fell right over the top of the desk and flat on my back."

Yuffie laughed uproariously, never one to hold anything back, and soon the rest of us were laughing with her. Vincent even spared us a small chuckle, his dark eyes lit up with myrth.

Reeve wasn't kidding when he said Yuffie was a mean poker player. She was downright ruthless, and took no prisoners. She was a wispy little thing, and I wondered vaguely just where she dredged up such bottomless depravity. She looked like a mob boss with a giant stack of poker chips in front of her, one foot on the table, glass of kahlua in the other.

I could not read her - no one could. She had no tell, no giveaway; she looked the same no matter if she had been delt a shit hand or been graced with the perfect play.

Five pairs of eyes met across the table. My gaze met Aerith's, and she smiled ever so tentatively from behind her fan of cards. Did we dare? She took a deep breath, then laid down her cards. "Three of a kind," she shook her head, knowing that she'd lost.

"Flush," I offered, lying my cards flat against the table. All hearts.

"Fold," Reeve said, shaking his head.

"Full house," Vincent shifted in his chair. We all held our breath.

Yuffie's eyes glinted. "Royal flush," she smirked, putting her hand down.

We all groaned as she pulled the pile of chips toward her already ridiculous accumulation.

"There is no way you're playing honestly," I scoffed, shaking my head.

She shot me a toothy grin. "Are you accusing me, Yuffie Kisaragi, princess of Wutai, of _cheating_?"

I leaned back in my chair. "Yes. Yes I absolutely am."

She feigned innocence, putting the back of her wrist to her forehead in mock disdain. "Good sir, I _never_ cheat when I play with my friends."

"You lie and steal, though," Aerith offered, and we all laughed at the scrunched face Yuffie made in response.

"You can't prove it."

"It's only a matter of time before we figure out how you're swindling us." Vincent shook his head as he began to put away the cards.

"I still won, and I get my prize."

Aerith looked around, curiously. "The winner gets a prize?" She asked.

"I get a favor from each of those at the table."

"A _reasonable_ favor," Reeve corrected.

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Ten pounds of chocolate is reasonable, no matter what you say."

"Quit prolonging the inevitable," I groaned. "What do you want from us this time?"

She smiled, crossing her arms across her chest. "Each of you has to come to my birthday party next weekend."

"As if any of us were going to skip it anyhow," Reeve sighed as he shook his head, sorting the poker chips into colored piles.

"I mean it," Yuffie continued. "You all have to be there."

"You know we'll all go," Aerith said as she squeezed Yuffie's shoulder.

And just like that game night was over. Just like that, the four of them were walking out of my office at ten-thirty at night, the smallest one slightly tipsy and reiterating her list of birthday wishes.

Vincent shook my hand as he left. "See you next weekend, it seems," he offered as he disappeared through my doorway.

I pushed the door over, only intending to get my briefcase before heading out myself, but when I passed by my desk I noticed the little pink cardigan Aerith had been wearing earlier, all bunched up on my desk, forgotten. Reaching out a tentative hand, hesitating for only the barest of moments, I picked up the article of clothing and sighed.

So close, yet so far.

She'd been here, in my office, hardly five minutes before. So close I could touch her. So far that I didn't dare.

I looked around my office, a sudden wave of sickness washing over me, but for what I couldn't name. Was this what I wanted? Domestics? Coming to work every day, becoming familiar with the walk to work, the faces? Lunch in the cafeteria with Reeve or Yuffie, sometimes Vincent, the others not seeking me out in the slightest, then dinner alone in my office or my apartment?

Was this what it was like for Aerith, when I'd left her in Costa del Sol? Alone, without direction?

Gods above, I felt so alone. I was in a city buzzing with life, yet I was by my self.

Reeve had pushed her to me, my little flower girl, and we'd had normal conversations like she hadn't been ripped from my heart those scant weeks ago. We'd played poker as if she hadn't been alone in my office minutes before, a scared look about her face as she asked me questions and spoke to me in such a way I had no means to answer her.

I did something, feeling unabashed; I pulled the sweater to my face and inhaled.

And I shook, something inside of me feeling like it was breaking.

For weeks now I'd been wearing a mask. No one saw me slipping, how could they? I was in reform; perfect, forgiving, _good_. I was heading the new soldiers for Shinra reformed, helping the new president and the board research new ways of energy that didn't involve sucking the planet dry.

I didn't need normalcy.

I needed an anchor.

And like she'd heard me, like she somehow _knew_, I turned and saw Aerith in my doorway. Her face was a stony mask, a blank slate, as she gazed upon what she remembered as a madman, the one that stuck her through. How weak I must look to her, clutching her garment, eyes crazed like an animal.

But then she did something unexpected, which was so like her; would she ever cease to amaze me? She took a step forward and closed the door. "I never got the chance to tell you why I don't remember you."

I sighed, strained. I wanted to disappear through the floor. I wanted to, but I didn't. I tossed her sweater to the chair she stood closest to, then turned my back on her, steadying my palms on the edge of my desk and I leaned forward. "I can't deal with this right now."

"Well, you're just going to have to," she announced as I heard her sit down in the chair behind me.

I wanted to be angry with her. But I found a profound sadness within me; it wasn't her fault. None of it was her fault. And yet, so much of it was. I realized I couldn't be angry with her, no matter how much it made sense to be. I turned and took the chair across from her, but didn't bother to look up.

"Are you always like this with me?" she asked.

"Like what?" I sighed, rubbing my chin with my fingers.

"Hot and cold?"

I barked out a laugh. "I don't know. Yes. Maybe." I decided to be honest with her. There was no reason I should be otherwise. "You never cease to profoundly confuse and surprise me. Such control you have over me, and yet you've no idea." I saw her lips curl out of the corner of my eye, but a sad or awkward smile I couldn't discern.

"Do you... do you want to know? Should I even tell you?"

I paused, then shifted. "I have to admit I'm curious, but..."

I heard her sigh, hardly a whisper. "Would it be easier if you knew?"

Another pause. "I would... I would like to know." My voice was quiet, and she leaned in closer, as if she were straining to hear my words."

"It's much less fantastic that you'd like to think. Reeve found the answer in the notes after I... after I asked him to find out for me. He burned most of the underground, ruined the computers and corrupted the files, but for me he looked." She crossed her legs, twirling a piece of her bangs in her fingers absentmindedly. "I've been having dreams. Dreams of the time I spent with Cloud and the others, but also dreams of things that I can't recall ever seeing. I see them like a movie through fog, things that I feel like I should remember but can't, no matter how hard it hurts."

Her voice was thin, teetering on the edge of something I couldn't place.

"Reeve found the files for me. He told me he didn't look at them - that he wouldn't unless I wanted him to know - and it was... unsettling. According to Hojo's notes, the mind and body are almost like two different entities. The mind - the soul - is what returns to the lifestream when we die. Our bodies decompose, our bodies returning to the planet in a way of it's own. The two are linked, mind and body; Hojo grough us back because he had samples of our DNA from just after we'd... died the first time. I remembered up until you'd... the city of the Ancients because he was there after us, and he must have found my body. Same for you in the crater. He wasn't entirely specific with the 'how' he obtained it, but he somehow managed it. Then, all he needed was a body, cloned from the cells that he'd taken. With a body, our souls were taken from the lifestream, but only from when the DNA was extracted. Had he pulled older samples of your DNA, when you'd been reincarnated you'd would have remembered only from that point in life."

"That's why he wanted you back, unharmed. That's why he ordered me to kill you when we had gone to confront him; he wanted all of your current memories, from when I'd taken you and set you free." It all made sense, now. Our DNA, our cells, acted like a recording device. When used to form a body, they pulled all they could from the lifestream. Aerith didn't remember me because when she'd been reborn there in the lab in front of us, it was from the same cells that Hojo has used to bring her back the first time.

"I need... I need a favor."

I turned to look at her, my curiosity getting the better of me. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I recoiled. Was she going to ask me to leave her alone? To avoid her? She didn't look scared of me any longer, that much I was certain of, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread that filled me. I nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"I want to hear your version of our story. Everyone has told me what happened, but pieces remain blank, and the dreams are confusing me. I don't know if it's my memories trying to push their way back into my mind, but I feel... I feel like I need to hear it from you. Everything."

Taking a deep breath, I sat back. "It all started when I woke up..."

I told her the entire story, leaving nothing out. Halfway through, her phone rang and she snapped it shut without looking at it. Her eyes were wide the entire time I spoke, and she never said a word. I left out no detail for her, though I lightly grazed some of the more sordid ones. She blushed when I mentioned our love-making, shaking her head as if she couldn't believe it, but when I spoke of how the light rolled off of her and shattered light bulbs when she came, her cheeks grew even more pink in color and she stilled, not meeting my eyes. How else could I have known such a detail about her, such an intimate one, unless I spoke the truth?

"... and then..." I sighed, heart heavy. "And then, given no other choice, I snapped your neck. Your last act in your previous body..." Tears threatened to spill, and I felt oddly detached. "You set me free. You used Vincent's gun to shoot the damn collar off my neck, but it was too late. You told me you loved me before you died."

She was looking at me, but she really wasn't looking _at_ me. She looked like she wanted to cry, to run, but, her fingers gripping the leather of the chair so tightly her nails were likely cutting into, I knew she would do neither. I leaned back in my own chair, feeling tired. How many times would I have to tell this story?

When she stood, it took me by surprise. I stood as well, more out of uncertainty as to what else to do with myself, but she was halfway to the door before I had time to register what was happening. She turned the knob, pulled it open, and hesitated for a moment. I thought she was going to turn and look at me. She didn't. She walked through the threshold of my office, and shut the door behind her.

And I sat back in my chair and heaved a dejected sigh. I was a fool to think that she'd come to love me again, that I had a chance at all. I gave her nothing but words; how could I give her anything else without overstepping some kind of boundary?

I was on the far side of an entire bottle of scotch before morning, despite the fact that it did nothing. The motions were more mechanical than anything; I honestly hadn't realized I was drinking so much until Yuffie barged into my office asking me some benign question about what flavor cupcakes I'd like.

"Holy shit. What happened?" She shut the door quietly behind her before walking to my desk and sitting herself on the corner of it.

"She asked for the story - the whole story, my story, not just piece of it - from me."

"And you didn't give it to her?"

I scrubbed the back of my neck.

"You did? Then what's the problem?" She gasped. "Did you share her memories with her, like you did with me?"

"I said I wouldn't, and I stand by it. No, I just spoke. That's all I did; talk."

"Then why are you that far into a bottle of expensive hooch with a look on your face that would make angels weep?"

"Because she didn't say _anything_. She just _left_."

Yuffie had her arms around my neck, and I could feel wet tears seeping through the shoulders of my shirt. "It's a lot to process, you know? Maybe she just needs some time."

"I don't know if I can do this?"

"Do what?" She offered a hoarse laugh. "Keep on living?"

I sighed. "I don't know. This office job, this pretence of normalcy."

"Quit being an asshole," she chided, pulling her arms away and giving the back of my head a good smack. "You nearly brought the world to its knees, and now you're bitching about heartbreak and domestics?"

I choked out a laugh, though it sounded more like a whine.

"No, I won't let you. You're going to man the fuck up, keep doing the job that you're damn good at, and next week you're going to come to my birthday party because if you don't I will give you such a beating. And speaking of birthday, you never answered my question- chocolate or red velvet?"

Yuffie was so much smarter than she let on, and it made me feel grounded knowing that, as strange as it was, I had a friend who understood me. She changed the subject so fluidly that while I didn't forget, by the end of our conversation I didn't feel quite so lost. I promised to keep at my job, at least for a while longer, and I gave my word that I would be at her birthday party. She found it amusing when I admitted that I'd never bought a birthday present before, and she insisted that it be something grand so that neither of us would forget it.

Not yet two decades old, still a child in so many ways, yet I had come to trust her with so little effort. Cloud and her other friends loved her, yes, but I had a feeling none of them saw her the way I did.

And, just like my word, I showed up at Yuffie's party with an armful of gifts, and some item that wasn't hers, despite the occasion. Aerith had done well in avoiding me - I don't think she'd actually been back in the Shinra building since she walked out of my office last - but I had promised Yuffie I would attend, and Aerith was too kind of a person to let her own discomfort come before her friends. Which is why I didn't hesitate in handing her sweater to her, after I deposited Yuffie's gifts on the reserved table. "You left this in my office the last time we spoke." There was no hidden meaning behind my words, no hope of something that wasn't there. I had given her my heart already; what she did with it was her own choice.

She took the piece of clothing from my hands, gingerly. "Thank you. I'd forgotten all about it." Her smile was small, but it seemed, at least to me, genuine.

Then, in a flash, Yuffie was upon me, a shrill shriek escaping from her as she all but tackled me.

"You came!" She beamed.

"I promised that I would, didn't I?"

The entire night was filled with drinking, jokes, and I fear I ate so many cupcakes I made myself somewhat sick. But it wasn't until the night was nearly over that I paid much heed to the world outside. I watched Yuffie hollar as we all paid close attention to the chocobo races. I'd placed a little of my own money down on what I felt was an underdog, but given that I was meant to be having a grand time, I didn't feel too sorry when the bird in question lost. While the others placed their next round of bets, I watched one of the A-Class races through the windows. I took a sip of champagne from the flute in my hand.

"Hojo's trial is next week." I knew she was standing next to me before she spoke. I'd chosen not to say anything, letting her measure her words before she let them slip past her lips.

"Indeed." I heaved a sigh.

"Will you be in attendance?"

I shook my head. "I gave everything I had to the legal team already. I was surprised when they didn't call me down to interrogate in the first place, honestly." I turned to look down at Aerith. "Will you be going?"

She bit her lip. "Everyone keeps telling me I should, but just thinking about that man gives me nightmares..."

I chuckled softly, knowingly. "I understand _that_ feeling."

"I was thinking of leaving town," she offered, nonchalantly.

"Oh? Grand vacation plans?"

"I hear Mideel is pretty fantastic this time of year."

I completely froze when her hand touched mine. I thought, at first, it had been a mistake, a fleeting touch when she'd shifted on her feet. But when her fingers intertwined with mine, I couldn't help but hold my breath.

"Perhaps you'd like to come with me... I was thinking, maybe, that we could- we could start over. Start slow."

The shouts of the crowd as the race finished, the blinking of the lights, the bitter sting of circulated air as it hit my face from the vents overhead; all of it was muted. I slowly turned to look at her, but her eyes were fixated forward.

I smiled like an idiot. "I would like that very much."

The corners of her mouth turned up in a shy smile. Then, she turned and met my eyes. "To new beginnings?" She held up her champagne glass.

I clinked my glass with hers, feeling my heart ache in my chest. It wasn't the way things were, but it was a damn good start.

"To new beginnings."


End file.
